Disclaimer- Lets get this straight, you all know I don't own a bloody thing….bugger…. so instead of saying all that crap I usually say I've decided to place the facts of life (no not those you perve) here.

Pearls melt in vinegar

Hmmmm I wonder *finds some vinegar* now where are those pearls

~*Previously of ASBAON*~ Everyone is sad as they make their way home, Sam's head is utter madness, guest appearance by LEGOLAS…I mean her guardian.

~*Final Line*~ - "Oh Jack" she sighed leaning against the tree.

To My WONDERFUL, ALL GREAT, SUPERB, BEAUTIFUL reviewers

Purplefluffychainsaw – Funky name, oh I won't blame anyone…'cept maybe Leggolina over there, *points to Legolas who is tied to chair* hey now, randomness is a very good thing to have, without it, well do you realise how boring we would be! Well just imagine living in a brown wallpapered room with nothing but a pillow…yep that's how boring!!! Opps randomness hehehe um yeah so you're an Englishman…err women ey? Coolies just like Orli 'ey!!! We don't get much snow here, because we are right on the waterfront, that's ummm the Pacific Ocean I think…yep that's it!! Sorry bout the cliffy, I've had such bad writer's block lately, it's been real bad, like fully brain damage block kinda stuff going on…so yeah glad you're reading this!!! YAYAYAYAYA for new readers!!!

LOTRseer3350 – yeah, I liked Will's reaction too!! Oh so the drunken hottie reached your house, ey? Bout time, JEBUS, took his sweet time, know you can have fun with him for a while, but don't let anyone else see him, especially if they get jealous easily!!!

LegolasGreenleafGil-Estel – Don't listen to people who call your characters Mary-sues, what would they know…unless they are actually Mary-sues *shifty eyes* just because you are drooling after Leggy, who wouldn't…THAT'S IT they are jealous that you get to do that!!! So don't fret about it, hehehe randomness, ya gotta love it, it is the only way to write a story, sorry about the cliffys, I couldn't help it. Oh I'm up to *dramatic music plays* THE SEVENTH STONE Ohhhhhhh Uhh Thanks for that boys, Ooohhhh they are soooo good, fully addicted I swear, I'd print em out but I'd probably loose a page…oh I am going to read your stories, they look interesting. I have to admit, I do like the fall-into-Middle Earth genre, it's cool…I wonder who the first person to write one was…I wonder who was the first person to write a LOTR or POTC fic…OR who was the first person to start the WHOLE FFN thing?? Well I must now go and ponder my thoughts!!

Amanda – Yeah Darryl just kinda disappeared didn't he…oh well not a big loss, OMG you are like my sister, she eats sauce too, just tomato sauce. Actually Lisa's dream thing was what inspired it, the episode was on TV when I was writing it so I though, to hell with it, and I wrote what is now known as chapter 24, OOOOOOOHHHHHHHH Your favourite author *cries insanely* I feel so loved!!! Ooohhhh I wish I could get the POTC from Sanity but I already bought it from England reckon they'll just give me the book?!?! Prob not, but it's worth a try.    

Crazy llama – Yeah, Jack had to cry, I decided, it would show his…softer underside as it were.

Candeebarz – Yeah I'm kinda morbid that way…I think? Yes it was Leggy boy so you don't have to be humiliated; he begged to be in it…ok so he didn't beg more like threatened.

Dimonah Tralon – She will wake up soon, it's not much fun when she's asleep is it? Yeah he did miss ya…*writes on white board* tell Jack that she misses him too and can visit again…Okey dokey.

Sweet A.K – Dude, do you realise I was going to post this chapter last night but decided to wait so I could proof read it properly and when I logged on your review came through so it was really lucky timing!!! Yeah dream worlds are FUN specially when there are hotties in there!! Yes unfortunately leggy boy is a whiner and sometimes a wiener!! Mmmmm yes I did hehehe…HAHAHA…Mmmwwwaaahhahahahaha *cough* seems you really have your hands full there, but they are full of some very…VERY yummy things so I think it is alright!!! HAHAHA Haldir snorted hahaha poke him for me would ya?!? Faramir seems easily please ;) hehehe he is very well trained. But these elves are really hard to get into…their heads I mean!!! Anyway better get this thing posted before yous all try and kill me!!!

 

  WRITERS BLOCK IS A CURSE!!!!!!!!!!

A STORY BY ANY OTHER NAME

 "Oh Sam" Jack sighed taking hold of both her hands; he was one few actually awake…in fact he had not slept since the accident. It had been three days and she still had not awoken, it was killing Jack to see her there so far way from him…yet so close. A heavy sigh was heard by the bed, Jack sat up alert but to his dismay it was only Will, who was asleep beside the bed, having a bad dream. Jack sat back, disappointed. He looked into her face, it was so peaceful, and it looked like she had only just fallen asleep.

"Where are ye, luv? I need ye here with me" Jack whispered taking up her hands again. He felt the warmth of her hands warm his cold ones.

"If ye don't wake up soon…I'm not sure…I can…oh luv" Jack laid his head on her hands and fell in to a dreamless slumber.

*****************************************************************************************************

 Sam was sitting on the toadstool by the water's edge watching some cats swim by, a big blue cat and a small orange cat came quite close to the edge and suddenly she heard a voice coming from the water.

"Hey there, Mr. Frumpy fur. When life gets you down do you wanna know what you've gotta do?" The blue cat swam around the orange cat who was trying to bat it away.

"No I don't wanna know" He said trying to swim past, but the other caught up and started to sing.

"Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim."

"Freddy, no singing" The other cat begged, but he just kept singing.

"Ha, ha, ha, ha, ho. I love to swim. When you want to swim you want to swim" This caused Sam fall about in laughter, and as she did so her food landed in the water scaring the cats away.

"Ooooooohhhhhhh bugger" Sam sat up and looked around and too her surprise she saw a large…VERY large blue camel running in her direction. As it came closer she could see that it in fact had three heads and Larean was riding it. They came to a stop in front of Sam and Larean dismounted.

"Good day, Sam" Larean said with a smile, Sam grinned back.

"So who's this…your girlfriend" Sam quipped, Larean gave a tight smile. She certainly knew how to rub him up the wrong way.

"No, this is Amelia, Trealim and Bob" Larean slapped the camel on the butt and it look off in the other direction.

"Oh and where did she come from?" Sam asked walking with Larean

"Your imagination, have a very odd way of thinking" Larean laughed.

"Yeah, I've heard that before" Sam sighed "So why the sudden appearance?" Larean turned to Sam and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Your time here is up!" Larean said almost too cheerfully, Sam put on the puppy dog pout.

"Don't you want me here?" Larean almost fell for her trap but caught himself before anything regretful was said.

"Oh, I really do, but you see, there is someone who wants you more out there. Trust me you'll see me again. Just call for me in times of trouble and I'll be there to help you through" Larean comforted Sam "Right, now, stand here and in a flash you will be your old self" Larean moved back a few steps and started to chant some world in an odd language. Sam suddenly felt very dizzy and saw that her hand was fading, she decided to make a rash decision. She ran up to Larean and before he could stop her, she planted a nice big kiss right on his lips. Larean stumbled back and saw a fading Sam laughing.

"You know what, you're not half bad" She laughed before she disappeared. Larean shook his head.

"Why do I always get the insane ones" he sighed and lay on the grass and enjoyed the peacefulness.

*****************************************************************************************************

Jack stirred as he felt something upon his head, he brushed it of thinking it was a fly or at worst a rat. Suddenly he felt a sharp 'wack' as someone slapped the back of his head. He jumped up ready to kill the person who interrupted his slumber when he heard a sweet voice behind him.

"Slap my hand will ya!" Sam said watching Jack's reaction go from tired to anger to surprise to happiness.

"LUV" he hollered and threw himself beside her bed. The noise was enough to wake both Will and Elizabeth and cause Norrington to come flying into the room.

"IS EVERYTHING ALRIGHT IN HERE?" Norrington yelled. Sam smiled back.

"Peachy keen, jellybean" Sam quipped from the bed. She was suddenly surrounded by everyone. And they were all asking the same question.

"Are you alright?" Sam smiled and pushed Will off.

"Come on Wilma, up ya get. I'm not going anywhere" Then she had to peel Elizabeth off.

"Lizzy, dear I can't breath. And I think breathing is the essence of life. So please release me!" Elizabeth reluctantly stood back up. Sam turned to Jack who was looking at her with his deep brown eyes and she just melted.

"Jack, I've missed you so much" Sam said as she started to cry, Jack sat beside her and took her chin in his hand.

"Don't cry luv" He murmured as he lent down and kissed her forehead. Norrington ushered the others out of the room.

"Best let them get reacquainted" He said with a smile. "How about some food, you haven't eaten much since the accident" Norrington said leading them to the galley.

Jack and Sam, meanwhile, where just looking into each other's eyes, deeply enjoying the privacy and each other's company.

"Luv" Jack whispered after a few minutes, Sam just looked at him and moved across a little, inviting him to lie with her. They lay there for hours just looking at each other and lavishing in the privacy they had for now. Sam was first to make the move. She moved over slowly so that her body was now pressing up against Jack's. She breathed in his scent, salt and rum, as she ran her hand through his hair and started to play with the beads that held a few strands in place.

Jack just watched her enjoying the sensation of her touch as she moved her hands down his back feeling his rippling muscles beneath his white cotton shirt. She slowly rubbed his muscles making Jack moan softly and causing her to smile. She looked deep into his eyes and softly kissed his soft lips, Jack kissed back with passion and intensity, but still remaining in his position. He moved his hand behind her and pulled her closer. They had been this close before but the passion and intensity that they felt was like nothing they had felt before. Jack was careful of her still healing wounds as they lay there together, discovering each other's bodies and embracing each other. At that moment there was no one else in the world and that's the way they liked it.

Suddenly they heard Elizabeth's voice from the other side of the door.

"C'MON JACK YOU'VE HAD HER FOR THREE HOURS, CAN WE PLEASE SEE HER BEFORE WE GET BACK TO PORT ROYAL!" Sam and Jack chuckled as they heard Will pull her away from the door.

"Elizabeth, Shhhhh……JACK!! GET AWAY FROM MY SISTER!"

Jack got up form the bed much to Sam displeasure and opened the door only to have Elizabeth come rushing in and push Jack out.

"'OI!" Jack yelled as he fell into Will "Geez, boy, ye've gotta give a bloke a warning before ye unleash that onto the world" Jack said pulling Will up.

"What have you been doing for the past 3 hours?" Will asked bracing himself for the answer but Jack just smiled in return.

"Wouldn't ye like to know?" Jack chuckled making his way to the bow; it had been a long time since he'd seen the sea. Ok so it had only been 3 or 4 days but to Jack that was almost a lifetime. He smiled to himself as he watched the sunset.

She was alright, everything would be alright…for now.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I'm sooooooo sorry!!! It was so short and it's been like…ages since I updated. I should be punished *Legolas comes running in* what?

You need to be punished!

Huh? You heard me.

Elvish hearing!

Ahh…I knew it was a mistake to untie you!

You would have had to eventually, you know!

Yeah, I mean, you are too hot to keep tie up…unless you not wearing…*Legolas covers her mouth with a very masculine hand*

You shouldn't say that out loud *Mumbles* WHAT? Oh Right.*takes hand off*    

Thanks…So leggy have you brushed you're hair lately?

Yeah… why?

No reason just thought it could do with another brush.

There's nothing wrong with my hair!

Says you *Elrohir and Elledan walk in muffling giggles as they pass Legolas*

What are you two laughing at?

Umm, we just watched a funny show?!?

Oh and what was it?

Pep Le Pew!

Ok Right, well… I'm going to practice my archery!

You do that

I will

Good then *Legolas walks/storms out, His hair has a big black streak through it* OH MY GOD, he hasn't noticed it, yet!! *they all fall about with laughter* Pepé le pew!! I can't believe you know what that is!

We did our research!

Yeah we ain't as dumb as we look *thinks about it* Hang on I didn't mean it that way!!

Yeah sure you didn't!

What are we going to do when he notices?

Run

Run

Umm he'll probably catch me, so I'll run a bit and then probably hide…in the store room… I don't think he knows where that is.

*Yelling from outside is heard* YOU ARE SO DEAD!!!

RUN!!!! *They all disappear and Legolas comes in fuming*

I'm going to kill them, my poor hair…*Smells his hair* what is this stuff?

*Walks into his room and looks at his hair brush*

OH VALAR THIS IS SHOE POLISH *Giggling is heard nearby* I'll find you, my pretty and you're little twins too…OH GOD what did I just say???

*MUFFLED VOICE* it's from the movie you watched last night… eep, stupid, shut up.

*Legolas opens up hidden door* DID YOU DO THIS??

*Puts on puppy dog face* No it was not me it was the one eyed man…err…twin elves?

I think your hair needs a little… pick me up*Picks up Aus and takes her into the bathroom*

NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *Bathroom door shuts*