The story in which everyone dies, except the killer
Chapter Two
Disclaimer: Nobody here owns Tekken.
Dreamslayer: *narrating* The whole gang is standing outside at a bus stop and if you readers are wondering why, the truth is, I don't know either. I guess they're Dorks, since the script very clearly says that they have to fight, and then.
Snake Edge: Shut the fuck up already! They don't have the patience to listen your crappy narrate. Just get on with the damn story already!
Dreamslayer: Very well. Hey Snake Edge, you won't get away so easily, you know. I'll challenge you after I'm done writing this chapter.
Snake Edge: *Slaps Dreamslayer across the face with a glove* I accept.
Dreamslayer: *promises* This story will launch in no time. I'll just beat Snake Edge up first. *slaps Snake Edge with a leather glove* Ha!
---
Lee: *Tapping Heihachi on the shoulder* Uh, dad, Have you thought about how are we going to get to your summer house?
Heihachi: Of course I've thought about it, and don't call me dad, Lee! *Spanks Lee a la Tekken Tag Tournament. Just like the old times*
Lee: ouch, ouch, ouch... Okay, now I feel fine.
Heihachi: Yuck! *Throws Lee on the asphalt*
King: Er, if you've really thought about it, how exactly are we going to get to your summer house?
Heihachi: Beats me. *shrugs*
Kazuya: That's my dad for you. He can't tell the difference between shit and crap. I wish there were a bus, But it's Sunday, so there won't be any around here.
And as if Kazuya's prayers were answered, a bus drove to the bus stop and it ran Lei over while coming.
Lei: I'm dying!
Xiaoyu: Who cares?
The Bus: I care. My tires are all covered with blood.
Hwoarang: Did I just hear the Bus talk?
Anna: *slaps Hwoarang* Get into the bus!
Hwoarang: I can't. The doors are tight shut.
Eddy: Hey, what gives?!
Paul: Whatever's stuck up your ass! Get it? Eddy's ass? Hahaha!
Nina: Yeah, hahahaa...Paul?
Paul: Yeah, Baby?
Nina: You're an idiot!
Paul: Oh, why thank you.
The Killer: *hiding in a bush* That crappy pink bus just killed Lei, I wanted to kill Lei! *Hitting his head on the wall repeatedly* (Snake Edge: A dumb place to put a wall, really)
The Bus: Password, please?
Hwoarang: What?!
The Bus: Password! What a jerk!
Hwoarang: Password?? *Gesturing helplessly with his hands*
Christie: *Pushes Hwoarang aside* Oh, move over! *Pulls a broken stick out of her pocket and points it at the bus door* Alohomora!
Nothing happens.
Everybody: *staring at Christie* O_O
Christie: *muttering* Well it worked for Harry Potter.
The Bus: Password?
Percy: Make way, make way! A prefect coming!
Everybody: *make way for Percy*
Percy: *steps in front of the Bus door*
Forest: Yo, what's he doin' here? Don't he belong in Harry Potter?
King: I think Dreamslayer has a few loose bolts. This story doesn't make any sense. I believe the readers agree with me. I'm going to strike!
Xiaoyu: For what?
King: I want a raise!
Eddy: We get paid?!
Dreamslayer: Hell no! What do you think I am, crazy?
Jin: Crazy pretty much sums it up, yeah.
Dreamslayer: Oh, shut the fuck up, Helluva Ugly.
Lee: Why are you striking? You don't have a reason to go to strike.
King: I'm protecting defenceless oranges. There you have my reason for strike! *sits down*
Lee: Whatever. Michelle: You can't go to strike, because if you do...
Dreamslayer: .If you do, I'm going to beat the living crap out of you!
Michelle: I was actually going to say he's blocking the sidewalk.
Dreamslayer: Oh, my mistake!
King: *Gets up*
Percy: I you would now kindly pay attention to me, the password is Kaput Heihachi!
Heihachi: Racists!
Percy: Whatever do you mean?
Heihachi: Never mind.
The Bus: *doors open*
Percy: *Disapparates*
Hwoarang: *Gets into the bus*
Snake Edge: Welcome to Dreamslayer and Snake Edge's road express. Where would you like to go? I take the money and Dreamslayer drives.
Bryan: Okay, I'm really scared now!
Baek: Oooo, don't wet yourself, man.
Bryan: Screw you guys, I'm going to sleep!
Snake Edge: *Stops Bryan* Just a minute young man, you forgot something.
Bryan: Like what?
Snake Edge: *auntie-like* Like payment, and don't you talk to me like that, mister.
Bryan: *Fishing through his pockets* There, keep the exchange. Everybody except
Heihachi: *Take a nice position in their seats and try to fall asleep*
Heihachi: *Explaining Dreamslayer where exactly his summerhouse is located*
Dreamslayer: Oh, I get it!
Tarzan: *pointing at himself* Tarzan. *points at Dreamslayer* Oh, I get it!
Dreamslayer: Nonono! *points at herself* Dreamslayer. * points at Tarzan* Tarzan. *
Snake Edge: Oh, bugger off! We don't need no apes other than Paul here! *kicks Tarzan in the ass*
Tarzan: *flies out of the bus*
Heihachi: *goes to his seat and tries to fall asleep like everyone else*
Dreamslayer: Hey, Snake Edge! Put Children of Bodom on!
Snake Edge: Okay! *Says it like Julia, salutes and puts a CD in the player*
Children of Bodom: The Reaper is calling you to come home With the thrust of a switchblade on the grip of madman And the waters of Bodom turn a blood shade of red As the Children Of Bodom take their last breath.
Everobdy: *wake up because of the noise and cover their ears*
Michelle: Bah! What a racket! The dead would be rolling in their graves if they heard that music, if you can call that music!
Bryan: Hey! I'm dead!
Michelle: Glad you noticed.
Bruce: But you ain't got no grave.
Bryan: No, I don't but I can roll in my seat.
Heihachi: Why, oh why do every clumsy, brainless idiots come to me?
Kazuya: 'Cuz you're like them, just a lot clumsier!
Anna: *screams* Can the fucking racket!
Dreamslayer & Snake Edge: Never! Nina: Very well, I'll just shoot it then. *Takes out her gun*
Baek: Nina's the worst assassin ever. I bet she's going to shoot through every possible hole and then hit the front glass, and then she'll hit some deer and then.
Christie: *puts an apple in Baeks mouth and kicks him* Shaddap, no one's listening!
Baek: *Eating the apple*
Snake Edge: Hey, peace, people, I'l turn it off! *turns the music off* See?
Everybody: *nod and fall asleep*
Half an hour later.
Dreamslayer: Hey everybody, look!!
Everybody: *wake up and look at Dreamslayer, horrified*
Dreamslayer: *Smiling* No hands! *waves at the Tekken crew*
Eddy: Don't try and scare the shit out of us, drive the damn bus!
The Bus: *In the middle of a highway* lalalalala....
Bryan: NOW I'm really scared! *grabs Hwoarang's shirt*
Hwoarang: Did you?...
Bryan: *looks at Hwoarang with big anime eyes*
Hwoarang: Oh God, don't say.
Bryan: *nods* (Snake Edge: What did I miss here?)
Xiaoyu: What'd Bryan do?
Hwoarang: He was so scred he p-
Xiaoyu: Heihachi!
Heihachi: *turns to look at Xiaouy* What?
Xiaoyu: Say, you have any spare diapers to lend Bryan? He just wet himself! (Snake Edge: Oh, god)
Nina: I thought something smelled like piss 'round here.
Dreamslayer: Alright, the end of the line! *Throws everyone out of the bus*
Heihachi: All right, let's go inside!
Everybody: *follow Heihachi*
Well then, let's see what The Killer is up to right now.
The Killer: *Riding a tricycle* That bus will have to stop eventually, and when it does...
---
Dreamslayer: What was all that?
Snake Edge: What was what?
Dreamslayer: Those additional comments you put in while translating.
Snake Edge: Comments? What comments? * slowly inches away from Dreamslayer*
Dreamslayer: Oh, no you don't! *Attacks with Heaven Divide*
Snake Edge: *Gets hit, responds with a Complicated wire*
Chapter Two
Disclaimer: Nobody here owns Tekken.
Dreamslayer: *narrating* The whole gang is standing outside at a bus stop and if you readers are wondering why, the truth is, I don't know either. I guess they're Dorks, since the script very clearly says that they have to fight, and then.
Snake Edge: Shut the fuck up already! They don't have the patience to listen your crappy narrate. Just get on with the damn story already!
Dreamslayer: Very well. Hey Snake Edge, you won't get away so easily, you know. I'll challenge you after I'm done writing this chapter.
Snake Edge: *Slaps Dreamslayer across the face with a glove* I accept.
Dreamslayer: *promises* This story will launch in no time. I'll just beat Snake Edge up first. *slaps Snake Edge with a leather glove* Ha!
---
Lee: *Tapping Heihachi on the shoulder* Uh, dad, Have you thought about how are we going to get to your summer house?
Heihachi: Of course I've thought about it, and don't call me dad, Lee! *Spanks Lee a la Tekken Tag Tournament. Just like the old times*
Lee: ouch, ouch, ouch... Okay, now I feel fine.
Heihachi: Yuck! *Throws Lee on the asphalt*
King: Er, if you've really thought about it, how exactly are we going to get to your summer house?
Heihachi: Beats me. *shrugs*
Kazuya: That's my dad for you. He can't tell the difference between shit and crap. I wish there were a bus, But it's Sunday, so there won't be any around here.
And as if Kazuya's prayers were answered, a bus drove to the bus stop and it ran Lei over while coming.
Lei: I'm dying!
Xiaoyu: Who cares?
The Bus: I care. My tires are all covered with blood.
Hwoarang: Did I just hear the Bus talk?
Anna: *slaps Hwoarang* Get into the bus!
Hwoarang: I can't. The doors are tight shut.
Eddy: Hey, what gives?!
Paul: Whatever's stuck up your ass! Get it? Eddy's ass? Hahaha!
Nina: Yeah, hahahaa...Paul?
Paul: Yeah, Baby?
Nina: You're an idiot!
Paul: Oh, why thank you.
The Killer: *hiding in a bush* That crappy pink bus just killed Lei, I wanted to kill Lei! *Hitting his head on the wall repeatedly* (Snake Edge: A dumb place to put a wall, really)
The Bus: Password, please?
Hwoarang: What?!
The Bus: Password! What a jerk!
Hwoarang: Password?? *Gesturing helplessly with his hands*
Christie: *Pushes Hwoarang aside* Oh, move over! *Pulls a broken stick out of her pocket and points it at the bus door* Alohomora!
Nothing happens.
Everybody: *staring at Christie* O_O
Christie: *muttering* Well it worked for Harry Potter.
The Bus: Password?
Percy: Make way, make way! A prefect coming!
Everybody: *make way for Percy*
Percy: *steps in front of the Bus door*
Forest: Yo, what's he doin' here? Don't he belong in Harry Potter?
King: I think Dreamslayer has a few loose bolts. This story doesn't make any sense. I believe the readers agree with me. I'm going to strike!
Xiaoyu: For what?
King: I want a raise!
Eddy: We get paid?!
Dreamslayer: Hell no! What do you think I am, crazy?
Jin: Crazy pretty much sums it up, yeah.
Dreamslayer: Oh, shut the fuck up, Helluva Ugly.
Lee: Why are you striking? You don't have a reason to go to strike.
King: I'm protecting defenceless oranges. There you have my reason for strike! *sits down*
Lee: Whatever. Michelle: You can't go to strike, because if you do...
Dreamslayer: .If you do, I'm going to beat the living crap out of you!
Michelle: I was actually going to say he's blocking the sidewalk.
Dreamslayer: Oh, my mistake!
King: *Gets up*
Percy: I you would now kindly pay attention to me, the password is Kaput Heihachi!
Heihachi: Racists!
Percy: Whatever do you mean?
Heihachi: Never mind.
The Bus: *doors open*
Percy: *Disapparates*
Hwoarang: *Gets into the bus*
Snake Edge: Welcome to Dreamslayer and Snake Edge's road express. Where would you like to go? I take the money and Dreamslayer drives.
Bryan: Okay, I'm really scared now!
Baek: Oooo, don't wet yourself, man.
Bryan: Screw you guys, I'm going to sleep!
Snake Edge: *Stops Bryan* Just a minute young man, you forgot something.
Bryan: Like what?
Snake Edge: *auntie-like* Like payment, and don't you talk to me like that, mister.
Bryan: *Fishing through his pockets* There, keep the exchange. Everybody except
Heihachi: *Take a nice position in their seats and try to fall asleep*
Heihachi: *Explaining Dreamslayer where exactly his summerhouse is located*
Dreamslayer: Oh, I get it!
Tarzan: *pointing at himself* Tarzan. *points at Dreamslayer* Oh, I get it!
Dreamslayer: Nonono! *points at herself* Dreamslayer. * points at Tarzan* Tarzan. *
Snake Edge: Oh, bugger off! We don't need no apes other than Paul here! *kicks Tarzan in the ass*
Tarzan: *flies out of the bus*
Heihachi: *goes to his seat and tries to fall asleep like everyone else*
Dreamslayer: Hey, Snake Edge! Put Children of Bodom on!
Snake Edge: Okay! *Says it like Julia, salutes and puts a CD in the player*
Children of Bodom: The Reaper is calling you to come home With the thrust of a switchblade on the grip of madman And the waters of Bodom turn a blood shade of red As the Children Of Bodom take their last breath.
Everobdy: *wake up because of the noise and cover their ears*
Michelle: Bah! What a racket! The dead would be rolling in their graves if they heard that music, if you can call that music!
Bryan: Hey! I'm dead!
Michelle: Glad you noticed.
Bruce: But you ain't got no grave.
Bryan: No, I don't but I can roll in my seat.
Heihachi: Why, oh why do every clumsy, brainless idiots come to me?
Kazuya: 'Cuz you're like them, just a lot clumsier!
Anna: *screams* Can the fucking racket!
Dreamslayer & Snake Edge: Never! Nina: Very well, I'll just shoot it then. *Takes out her gun*
Baek: Nina's the worst assassin ever. I bet she's going to shoot through every possible hole and then hit the front glass, and then she'll hit some deer and then.
Christie: *puts an apple in Baeks mouth and kicks him* Shaddap, no one's listening!
Baek: *Eating the apple*
Snake Edge: Hey, peace, people, I'l turn it off! *turns the music off* See?
Everybody: *nod and fall asleep*
Half an hour later.
Dreamslayer: Hey everybody, look!!
Everybody: *wake up and look at Dreamslayer, horrified*
Dreamslayer: *Smiling* No hands! *waves at the Tekken crew*
Eddy: Don't try and scare the shit out of us, drive the damn bus!
The Bus: *In the middle of a highway* lalalalala....
Bryan: NOW I'm really scared! *grabs Hwoarang's shirt*
Hwoarang: Did you?...
Bryan: *looks at Hwoarang with big anime eyes*
Hwoarang: Oh God, don't say.
Bryan: *nods* (Snake Edge: What did I miss here?)
Xiaoyu: What'd Bryan do?
Hwoarang: He was so scred he p-
Xiaoyu: Heihachi!
Heihachi: *turns to look at Xiaouy* What?
Xiaoyu: Say, you have any spare diapers to lend Bryan? He just wet himself! (Snake Edge: Oh, god)
Nina: I thought something smelled like piss 'round here.
Dreamslayer: Alright, the end of the line! *Throws everyone out of the bus*
Heihachi: All right, let's go inside!
Everybody: *follow Heihachi*
Well then, let's see what The Killer is up to right now.
The Killer: *Riding a tricycle* That bus will have to stop eventually, and when it does...
---
Dreamslayer: What was all that?
Snake Edge: What was what?
Dreamslayer: Those additional comments you put in while translating.
Snake Edge: Comments? What comments? * slowly inches away from Dreamslayer*
Dreamslayer: Oh, no you don't! *Attacks with Heaven Divide*
Snake Edge: *Gets hit, responds with a Complicated wire*