Chapter Four - Payback
"I'd like 100 pepperoni pizzas, please!" said Jennica to the astounded pizza chef.
"Uh, this is a joke, right?" he said. "Le Pizza takes its time making pizzas." He scratched his head. "That could take days, ma'am."
"I'll pay you ten thousand pounds."
"Oh.... well, in that case, Le Pizza does not take its time making pizzas. Are you paying cash?"
"Well, can you deduct it from my bank account? Number 30092."
"Well, Le Pizza doesn't do that....... but it does now! Your order will be there in thirty minutes or less."
"Just remember one thing. Take it to the basement, okay?"
"Well, Le Pizza doesn't give pizzas to kids. Usually takes it to the front door....... but not anymore!"
He put down the phone and called to all the employees. "Hey, everyone, step on it as fast as you can! We're gonna be rich!!!"
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Butler and Juliet rushed into Artemis's study. "We've got something important to tell you!"
Artemis frowned. "Can't it wait? I'm monitoring the whaler right now. Still no sign of fairies."
They looked at each other. "No!" they said together.
"Very well then. What is so earth-shatteringly important?"
"Well, this plan of yours," said Juliet, twisting her hair. "Uh, it's not working." "Why not?" asked Artemis, confused. His plans always seemed to work.
"This fairy is driving us crazy!! She never shuts up!!," said Butler, not worrying about how professional his language was one bit. "What do you mean?"
"' I'm hungry! I'm thirsty! I'm bored! I have to go to the bathroom! I'm hot! I'm cold!'", said Butler, obviously aggravated.
"' Do you have a laptop? Nail polish? Ice cream? Trampoline? TV? Movies?'," added Juliet. "Honestly, I forget who is the prisoner here." Artemis almost laughed, but caught himself just in time. "Listen. Isn't a little aggravation worth millions of dollars in gold?" he sighed.
Butler and Juliet looked at each other. "NO!" they said simultaneously.
"You have to do something," said Butler, who looked to be on the verge of losing his sanity.
"Very well," he said and walked downstairs. Time to take Ms. Annoying's confidence down a notch.
That's what you think, thought Jennica.
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"Hello? Anyone there?" Jennica dialed Foaly's number on her cell phone.
"Greetings. What happened to you? And why are you swimming in the middle of the Atlantic?" said Foaly, picking up on the other end. "Oh no. Don't tell me."
"Well, I'm not going there. One near brush with death was enough for me," said Commander Root. "Captain Fields, what's your status?"
A/N Well, at least her last name has something to do with plants :D
Jennica rolled her eyes. Those military types. What did he think it was?
"My status, Commander, is annoyed, bored, and angry. What do you think?"
"Did you try the acorn thing?" asked Holly, picking up the phone.
"I can't lift the bed. And I've got enough magic, anyways. I couldn't mesmerize Juliet because she wouldn't take off her sunglasses. She remembers something about that. Something went wrong with those mind wipes."
"Hmm," said Holly. "Tried jumping out the window?"
"Tried it. Laser field made me bounce back."
"Air vent?"
"Tried it. Got stuck."
"Should we send help?" asked Root, actually concerned. That was another landmark moment.
Jennica told them not to and filled them in on her plan.
"Ingenious!"
"Cool!"
"Captain, that will never work!!"
(You can guess who said what.)
"Oh, but it is working," said Jennica happily.
Someone was at the door punching in numbers, so she put down the phone and promised to call back soon.
Artemis came in. "Sit, please," he said.
Jennica wished she could get them all to regain their memories as soon as possible. These clichés were starting to get really annoying.
"You know, last time I checked, Ireland was still a free country. Meaning that I could sit or stand, or knock you into the middle of next week, if I wanted to," said Jennica.
"Was that a threat?" Artemis looked shocked, and a bit scared that Butler wasn't there with him now. And how come she didn't have to follow orders? Then it hit him. She was wearing sunglasses. Purple and glittery, true, but effective just the same.
"I don't know. You're the genius here."
Artemis, for the second time in his life, couldn't think of a witty comeback to that. He really should study that database, he thought to himself. While he did that, Jennica took a tiny step towards the door.
Artemis sighed. "Captain Fields, if I were you, I wouldn't give attitude to my captor." There. That was pretty good, if he said so himself. He should put that in the database.
"So, what's your grand plan?" said Jennica. Of course, she already knew what it was. Just keep talking. She ventured another tiny step. "World domination?"
"Nothing so melodramatic. Just riches." Another step. "I will be the first to steal gold from you fairies."
Another step. "That's nice," said Jennica and took another step. Only three feet to the door.
"Perhaps you think I believe in that pot of gold nonsense, don't you? Well, no, now I know about your hostage fund."
"That's nice." Another step. "But there is no hostage fund."
"Oh, yes there is, you told me yourself. Look at your arm. That's where we administered the truth serum." Of course, that was a lie. There had been no truth serum, just a harmless prick with a sterilized needle. But she wouldn't tell her that.
"I mean," said Jennica with exaggerated patience, "that there is no hostage fund anymore. Thanks to you. And no, I didn't tell you anything. And couldn't you have spared me the drama? I'm not a fan of needles." She took another step. Just two feet from the door.
Artemis was very confused. How did she know so much about his plan? This was starting to scare him. And that didn't happen very often.
"Oh yeah? How long do you think you've been here?"
"An hour, genius. I have a watch." And with that, she made a jump for the door. She almost made it , but Artemis jumped out and closed the door at lighning speed, considering he wasn't much of an athlete.
"D'Arvit!" said Jennica. Well, someone will come in again, she thought hopefully.
"No way I'm going back in there. She scares me," he said to Butler and Juliet. "And you don't go back in there either." "D'Arvit," sighed Jennica.
Foaly had heard the whole thing. Time for Plan .... um, well, he decided that it was past Z already. He pressed a series of numbers on the computer. In the study, Artemis's private phone started ringing.
"Hello. Who is this?"
"This is Foaly the centaur. Is that the double kidnapping lowlife human?"
"Yes — wait, what do you mean double?"
Foaly sighed and took a fresh carrot out of his personal stash. "Never mind. Now, let Jennica go."
"And why would I do that?"
"Because we're not going to pay. We're broke," he said, following Jennica's plan. "Sorry. I suppose you would need it........ especially now."
"What?" Artemis was by now even more confused, if that were still possible.
"Have you looked at your bank account lately? Number 30092."
"I still have a lot there ....... hey, how do you know -
He looked up the account on the Intenet. Ten thousand for the window for Miss Claustrophobic, but he was missing an extra.......... one hundred thousand pounds. "And there's more where that came from," said Jennica on the camera, holding up her cell phone. She had bought 100 pizzas, a trampoline, a stress ball, a laptop, and fifty different lip glosses. And to Artemis's horror, a bright red Corvette was being driven into the driveway. "Uh, pick up delivery for, um... this is a weird name.. Jennica Fields," he called.
Artemis put his head down and banged it against the table.
But, after a few calculations, he knew he only had one million dollars in that vault. And the gold would be worth much more than that.
"I don't care how much she annoys me or how much money she takes. I know you have the money." And he hung up the phone.
"Sorry, Jen," said Foaly. Jennica would have thought she was doomed right then and there had she not heard two people walking down the basement steps.
"No, I think we'll get the laundry ourselves, Butler. You deserve a break," said Mrs. Fowl and pulled her husband after her.
"But—" protested Butler.
"But — " protested Mr. Fowl.
Jennica smiled. Oh, this would work for sure.
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"Phew, that had been close," said Artemis to Butler and Juliet. "She almost —
Mr. and Mrs. Fowl walked up the steps with Jennica in tow.
"Son, you've got some major explaining to do."
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A/N Phew!! Majorly humongously looooooooong chapter!!!!!!!!
Hope you liked it though.
Please R&R! (If you had the patience to read this far, you can submit a review!!!!!!!" :D
"I'd like 100 pepperoni pizzas, please!" said Jennica to the astounded pizza chef.
"Uh, this is a joke, right?" he said. "Le Pizza takes its time making pizzas." He scratched his head. "That could take days, ma'am."
"I'll pay you ten thousand pounds."
"Oh.... well, in that case, Le Pizza does not take its time making pizzas. Are you paying cash?"
"Well, can you deduct it from my bank account? Number 30092."
"Well, Le Pizza doesn't do that....... but it does now! Your order will be there in thirty minutes or less."
"Just remember one thing. Take it to the basement, okay?"
"Well, Le Pizza doesn't give pizzas to kids. Usually takes it to the front door....... but not anymore!"
He put down the phone and called to all the employees. "Hey, everyone, step on it as fast as you can! We're gonna be rich!!!"
**************************************************************************** **
Butler and Juliet rushed into Artemis's study. "We've got something important to tell you!"
Artemis frowned. "Can't it wait? I'm monitoring the whaler right now. Still no sign of fairies."
They looked at each other. "No!" they said together.
"Very well then. What is so earth-shatteringly important?"
"Well, this plan of yours," said Juliet, twisting her hair. "Uh, it's not working." "Why not?" asked Artemis, confused. His plans always seemed to work.
"This fairy is driving us crazy!! She never shuts up!!," said Butler, not worrying about how professional his language was one bit. "What do you mean?"
"' I'm hungry! I'm thirsty! I'm bored! I have to go to the bathroom! I'm hot! I'm cold!'", said Butler, obviously aggravated.
"' Do you have a laptop? Nail polish? Ice cream? Trampoline? TV? Movies?'," added Juliet. "Honestly, I forget who is the prisoner here." Artemis almost laughed, but caught himself just in time. "Listen. Isn't a little aggravation worth millions of dollars in gold?" he sighed.
Butler and Juliet looked at each other. "NO!" they said simultaneously.
"You have to do something," said Butler, who looked to be on the verge of losing his sanity.
"Very well," he said and walked downstairs. Time to take Ms. Annoying's confidence down a notch.
That's what you think, thought Jennica.
**************************************************************************** **
"Hello? Anyone there?" Jennica dialed Foaly's number on her cell phone.
"Greetings. What happened to you? And why are you swimming in the middle of the Atlantic?" said Foaly, picking up on the other end. "Oh no. Don't tell me."
"Well, I'm not going there. One near brush with death was enough for me," said Commander Root. "Captain Fields, what's your status?"
A/N Well, at least her last name has something to do with plants :D
Jennica rolled her eyes. Those military types. What did he think it was?
"My status, Commander, is annoyed, bored, and angry. What do you think?"
"Did you try the acorn thing?" asked Holly, picking up the phone.
"I can't lift the bed. And I've got enough magic, anyways. I couldn't mesmerize Juliet because she wouldn't take off her sunglasses. She remembers something about that. Something went wrong with those mind wipes."
"Hmm," said Holly. "Tried jumping out the window?"
"Tried it. Laser field made me bounce back."
"Air vent?"
"Tried it. Got stuck."
"Should we send help?" asked Root, actually concerned. That was another landmark moment.
Jennica told them not to and filled them in on her plan.
"Ingenious!"
"Cool!"
"Captain, that will never work!!"
(You can guess who said what.)
"Oh, but it is working," said Jennica happily.
Someone was at the door punching in numbers, so she put down the phone and promised to call back soon.
Artemis came in. "Sit, please," he said.
Jennica wished she could get them all to regain their memories as soon as possible. These clichés were starting to get really annoying.
"You know, last time I checked, Ireland was still a free country. Meaning that I could sit or stand, or knock you into the middle of next week, if I wanted to," said Jennica.
"Was that a threat?" Artemis looked shocked, and a bit scared that Butler wasn't there with him now. And how come she didn't have to follow orders? Then it hit him. She was wearing sunglasses. Purple and glittery, true, but effective just the same.
"I don't know. You're the genius here."
Artemis, for the second time in his life, couldn't think of a witty comeback to that. He really should study that database, he thought to himself. While he did that, Jennica took a tiny step towards the door.
Artemis sighed. "Captain Fields, if I were you, I wouldn't give attitude to my captor." There. That was pretty good, if he said so himself. He should put that in the database.
"So, what's your grand plan?" said Jennica. Of course, she already knew what it was. Just keep talking. She ventured another tiny step. "World domination?"
"Nothing so melodramatic. Just riches." Another step. "I will be the first to steal gold from you fairies."
Another step. "That's nice," said Jennica and took another step. Only three feet to the door.
"Perhaps you think I believe in that pot of gold nonsense, don't you? Well, no, now I know about your hostage fund."
"That's nice." Another step. "But there is no hostage fund."
"Oh, yes there is, you told me yourself. Look at your arm. That's where we administered the truth serum." Of course, that was a lie. There had been no truth serum, just a harmless prick with a sterilized needle. But she wouldn't tell her that.
"I mean," said Jennica with exaggerated patience, "that there is no hostage fund anymore. Thanks to you. And no, I didn't tell you anything. And couldn't you have spared me the drama? I'm not a fan of needles." She took another step. Just two feet from the door.
Artemis was very confused. How did she know so much about his plan? This was starting to scare him. And that didn't happen very often.
"Oh yeah? How long do you think you've been here?"
"An hour, genius. I have a watch." And with that, she made a jump for the door. She almost made it , but Artemis jumped out and closed the door at lighning speed, considering he wasn't much of an athlete.
"D'Arvit!" said Jennica. Well, someone will come in again, she thought hopefully.
"No way I'm going back in there. She scares me," he said to Butler and Juliet. "And you don't go back in there either." "D'Arvit," sighed Jennica.
Foaly had heard the whole thing. Time for Plan .... um, well, he decided that it was past Z already. He pressed a series of numbers on the computer. In the study, Artemis's private phone started ringing.
"Hello. Who is this?"
"This is Foaly the centaur. Is that the double kidnapping lowlife human?"
"Yes — wait, what do you mean double?"
Foaly sighed and took a fresh carrot out of his personal stash. "Never mind. Now, let Jennica go."
"And why would I do that?"
"Because we're not going to pay. We're broke," he said, following Jennica's plan. "Sorry. I suppose you would need it........ especially now."
"What?" Artemis was by now even more confused, if that were still possible.
"Have you looked at your bank account lately? Number 30092."
"I still have a lot there ....... hey, how do you know -
He looked up the account on the Intenet. Ten thousand for the window for Miss Claustrophobic, but he was missing an extra.......... one hundred thousand pounds. "And there's more where that came from," said Jennica on the camera, holding up her cell phone. She had bought 100 pizzas, a trampoline, a stress ball, a laptop, and fifty different lip glosses. And to Artemis's horror, a bright red Corvette was being driven into the driveway. "Uh, pick up delivery for, um... this is a weird name.. Jennica Fields," he called.
Artemis put his head down and banged it against the table.
But, after a few calculations, he knew he only had one million dollars in that vault. And the gold would be worth much more than that.
"I don't care how much she annoys me or how much money she takes. I know you have the money." And he hung up the phone.
"Sorry, Jen," said Foaly. Jennica would have thought she was doomed right then and there had she not heard two people walking down the basement steps.
"No, I think we'll get the laundry ourselves, Butler. You deserve a break," said Mrs. Fowl and pulled her husband after her.
"But—" protested Butler.
"But — " protested Mr. Fowl.
Jennica smiled. Oh, this would work for sure.
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"Phew, that had been close," said Artemis to Butler and Juliet. "She almost —
Mr. and Mrs. Fowl walked up the steps with Jennica in tow.
"Son, you've got some major explaining to do."
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A/N Phew!! Majorly humongously looooooooong chapter!!!!!!!!
Hope you liked it though.
Please R&R! (If you had the patience to read this far, you can submit a review!!!!!!!" :D