Chapter eleven – Forgiveness
Remus watched from the shadows as his lover cried, his salty tears running down his handsome cheeks and falling lightly upon the grass. Remus considered for a moment that he would go over to him, wipe away his tears and embrace him; but he thought better of it. Instead, he walked past unnoticed and went into the castle.
Sirius thought he heard footsteps so he looked up, but no one was there. Wiping his tears, he stood and gazed around for a sign of his boyfriend, but he could not see him. Sighing heavily, Sirius walked back into the castle and made his way back up to the common room, hoping that Remus would be there.
When he entered however, he was greeted by what seemed to be a wild party, congratulating him and his fellow Quidditch players on a great victory against Hufflepuff.
Sirius wasn't in the party mood though and he knew he would never make it to his dorm room without being seen, so he turned back around and exited through the portrait of the fat lady.
Remus walked around the corridors, passing chattering students as they walked by. He wasn't sure where he was going exactly, but he knew he didn't want to talk to Sirius right now. He found the prefect bathroom and decided to have a bath to calm his nerves.
Remus entered the grand bathroom after saying the password (A/N: I know I haven't mentioned this but Remus is a prefect) and noticed that the mermaid was fast asleep in her frame. Remus began turning on the different types, ignoring the silver ones.
Bubbles of different shapes and sizes filled the air. The water was hot and steamy and different foams and fragrances filled the tub. When Remus was satisfied, he undressed slowly and slid into the tub of hot water. Remus relaxed instantly and closed his eyes in contentment as the hot water filled with different smells and colours washed over his thin body.
Remus swam around the tub for a little while and even when underwater. After about half an hour, he decided to get out. Whilst the tub emptied, Remus dressed himself and put a drying charm on his soft, brown hair. He left the bathroom, feeling rather refreshed but also very hungry.
Remus contemplated for a moment whether he should go into the Great Hall for lunch, but he thought against it and went in the direction of the kitchens. Just as he turned the corner however, he bumped into a tall figure. He looked up and his amber eyes met the cold, black eyes of Severus Snape.
"I'm sorry Severus, I didn't see you there" Remus said politely, stepping back away a little. "That's ok, Remus" Severus said kindly. Remus smiled sweetly at him. "Where are you off to?" Severus asked curiously. "To the kitchens, would you like to come?" Remus asked.
"Yes thank you, if you don't mind of course. I daresay Black and Potter won't be too happy to hear about this" Severus replied. Remus flinched slightly at the mention of Sirius. "Don't worry about them, they needn't know" Remus said. Severus smiled slyly. "Very well" he said curtly.
The Slytherin and Gryffindor walked side by side to the kitchens, unbeknownst to anyone.
Sirius wandered around aimlessly for a while but became very bored very quickly. He retreated back to the common room, hoping the victory celebration was over. Luckily it was. Sirius found James and Peter sitting in the common room talking; there was still no sign of Remus.
"Hey Padfoot, we wondered where you had gone" James said, noticing Sirius enter. "Yeah, sorry about that I just went for a walk" Sirius replied, taking a seat next to Peter. "Have you seen Remus?" Peter asked curiously. Sirius' stomach squirmed unpleasantly.
"No, not since the match. Have either of you seen him?" Sirius asked his friends hopefully. But they both shook their heads. "I'm afraid we haven't. I'm sure he'll turn up soon. Come on, let's go to lunch" James replied. Peter and Sirius nodded in agreement and the three marauders made their way to the Great Hall.
The house elves greeted Remus kindly but eyed Severus suspiciously. They had seen him here before but they were still quite wary of him.
"Take a seat masters Lupin and Snape" squeaked a tiny female elf. "Please Tinky, its Remus" Remus told the small elf. She merely nodded and went to fetch the two boys some food. Severus and Remus took their seats as requested and there was an awkward silence for a moment.
"How are things with you, Severus?" Remus asked nicely. "Dismal as usual I'm afraid" Severus replied gloomily. "Oh that's a shame, is there any way I can help?" Remus asked. 'Yeah by dumping Black and being with me' thought Severus. "I'm afraid not, Remus" Severus replied.
Remus nodded sadly and suddenly they were greeted by Tinky once again and she was carrying two trays which included: sausages, chips and peas with a flask of pumpkin juice on each tray.
"Thank you, Tinky" Remus said kindly, taking his tray. "Yes thank you" Severus said, but with the coldness still in his tone. Tinky eyed him worriedly and Remus looked wary. Severus forced himself to smile as he accepted his tray of food which made Remus relax slightly.
Once Sirius, Peter and James had finished their lunch, they decided to go outside for a while. Sirius agreed rather reluctantly but noted to himself that at least this would get his mind off of Remus for a while.
They sat lazily under their usual tree and Peter and James talked merrily whilst Sirius stared out into space. "Are you ok, Padfoot?" James asked in a worried tone of voice. "Yeah I'm fine" Sirius lied, not meeting James' gaze. "I'm sure Remus will come and talk to you soon" James said, as though he was reading Sirius' mind.
"I hope you're right" Sirius replied, facing James and smiling tightly.
Once Remus and Severus had finished their meals, they thanked the house elves gratefully and left the kitchen. They wandered around for a little longer, talking about nothing important and even spent a little time reading in the library. By four o' clock, Severus thought he had better leave before the other Slytherins became suspicious.
"I'll see you soon, Remus" Severus said, smiling slightly. "Thank you, for a great day. See you later!" Remus answered. With one last glance, Severus walked swiftly away from Remus in the direction of his common room.
Along the way, he thought about the plan he had thought of last night. But he decided not to fulfil his plan just yet; he needed to wait a while until the time was right. 'The longer Black's with Remus, the more painful it will be when he looses him' Severus thought, smirking evilly.
Remus watched Severus' retreating back as he turned around the corridor. He sighed. Alone again. Remus didn't want to risk going back to the common room so he went back to the library to spend a little more time reading.
Sirius, James and Peter spent the remainder of the afternoon playing chess and exploding snap in the common room. The three marauders were rather worried though. They hadn't seen or spoke to Remus since the Quidditch match and they began to worry about his whereabouts.
"Do you think we should go and look for Remus?" Peter asked his friends. "I'm not sure he wants to be found" James replied, glancing slightly at Sirius. "I'm sure he's fine though, we'll see him again before we go to bed, the boy has got to sleep sometime" James added reassuringly.
Sirius remained quiet throughout this conversation. Even if Remus did return for bed, he knew he would not be sleeping in the same bed as him.
By seven o' clock, Remus became quite hungry again and went to the kitchens for some food. He knew the others would wonder where he was, but sometimes he just needed some time alone. Remus stayed with the house elves for a couple of hours, just talking to them whilst they made the dinner for the other students.
He left the kitchen at about nine o'clock and walked around the castle for a little while, waiting until he knew everyone would be asleep.
After dinner, Peter, James and Sirius stayed in the common room until nine o'clock. Sirius doubted whether Remus would return tonight. Ignoring the guilt in his stomach, Sirius stood up to leave. "I'm going to have a shower before bed" he announced.
"Ok Sirius, I'm going to stay down here a while" James replied, looking over at Lily who was waiting for him to come over. Peter yawned and said he was going to get ready for bed. "Bit early isn't it?" Sirius asked. Peter blushed slightly and James raised his eyebrows at Sirius and nodded in the direction of Peter's girlfriend Penny. "Oh I see, getting rested for an early morning snog I'm guessing" Sirius said, laughing and walking up the stairs to the showers.
The common room emptied gradually until only Lily and James were left. "I thought they'd never leave" Lily said, sighing softly. James walked over to her and pulled her into a deep kiss. His left hand was resting lightly on her waist and the other was on her back. Lily had her right hand on James' shoulder and the other was twirling his messy, black hair in her fingertips.
Remus waited until ten thirty before he climbed through the portrait hole of the fat lady into the common room. The only occupants left were James and Lily, who appeared to be making out on one of the leather chairs. Remus coughed to show his presence and they both looked up.
They looked rather embarrassed and Lily stood up from James' lap and walked over to him. "Hey Remus" she said kindly. He smiled in return as James walked over to him. "Where have you been all day? We were worried!" James said sternly but kindly.
"I'm sorry, I just wanted to be by myself for a while" Remus replied, looking at the floor. James gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze. "Lily and I are going to bed now, are you coming?" James asked. "No that's ok, I think I'll sleep here tonight" Remus replied.
"Are you sure?" Lily asked, slightly worried. "Yeah I'll be fine, you two go to bed" Remus replied. They both smiled at him and went up the same staircase, Remus wasn't surprised.
Remus laid down on one of the sofa's and pulled a blanket which was thrown over the back onto his body. He found himself missing Sirius' warm body beside him and it took him a while until he finally drifted off to sleep.
Sirius had the same problem about getting to sleep. His bed seemed so empty and big without Remus with him. He sighed sadly and forced himself to fall into an uneasy sleep.
Sirius awoke early the next morning and he couldn't fall back to sleep. He decided to go into the common room for a while until the others woke. He walked quietly down the stairs but he couldn't understand why as the common room was sure to be deserted.
However, once he entered the room, he saw someone laying on one of the sofas. Upon further inspection, he realised it was Remus. Sirius' heart soared when he saw him sleeping peacefully. He brushed a strand of loose hair away from Remus' face and watched him sleep, his chest rising and falling steadily.
After a couple of minutes, Remus stirred and found himself looking up at Sirius. "Sirius…" he moaned softly. "Shh it's ok Moony, go back to sleep" Sirius said, unsure of how he should be acting around him. Remus ignored his request and sat up sleepily.
"Why are you here, Sirius?" Remus asked, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "I need to talk to you" Sirius replied gently. Remus nodded, indicating that Sirius could start talking.
"I'm really sorry I hurt your feelings, love. But I didn't do it intentionally. I'm afraid you see, of what others will say about us. I may be a Gryffindor but that doesn't stop me from being fearful. I just want to be with you Remus and I don't want anyone to break us up. I'm not ready to tell everyone yet. I hope you understand".
Remus contemplated Sirius' words and found that he could not be angry at him. He was fearful of what others might think as well, maybe not as much as Sirius but he was still afraid. Sirius looked at him expectantly. "I understand Sirius" Remus said, smiling.
Sirius grinned and hugged Remus tightly. "I never want us to fight again" Sirius stated. Remus nodded and smiled at the close contact. When they broke away, Remus asked a question on his mind.
"What about those girls after the Quidditch game?" he asked. "Oh Remus, you know they don't appeal to me in the slightest. I don't swing that way anymore" Sirius replied, smiling. Remus returned the smile and then there was silence. "So, what now?" Remus asked. Sirius grinned at him mischievously and kissed him softly on the lips.
------------------------------------
A/N: Yay! Their back together! More of the story to come, I'm not sure how long it will take to write another chapter but it shouldn't be too long. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far.