Welcome to the next chapter of...
"The weird and wonderful world of weirdness!!"
... By ... "Author" ...
... X-Files music ... All accusations against famous people in this story are not my own, they were found on a site that points out things and accuses famous people of things. Just so happened I found use for them in my story. This removes any
need for suing me for slander.
We left off with Hugh Jackman, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Neo, Frodo Baggins and Harry Potter all in strange and crazy situations. Frodo and Potter are mentally duke-in it out with each other without realising it. Hugh Jackman, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Neo were doing weird things (Neo talking gibberish as usual)...
"Hey!! Look! The reader is back!" exclaimed Neo.
"Shush!" hissed Hugh under his breath, "they can't know we can see them!"
"Why not?" said Neo, talking blatantly without a care in the world that he's disobeying my orders not to let you readers know they can see you, woops, I just said it again didn't I? Author now repeatedly slams his head off desk.
"He's already gone and said it now hasn't he?" said Arnold.
"Who?" said Neo.
"The Author" said Hugh.
"Oh yea..." said Neo.
"This is VERY boring..." said Arnold.
The other two nodded in agreement, partly because they agreed, and partly because they didn't want to get on the wrong side of that big terminator Arnold thing by disagreeing with him. Then again I think he's right, let's move on to see how the magical couple; Frodo and Harry, are doing.
"Please stop walking into Me." said Harry.
"I'm trying here, but when we're both invisible it is a tad difficult!" replied Frodo.
"Why are we speaking so terribly posh like this?" queried Harry.
"I believe, dear Harry, that it is the Authors doing." answered Frodo.
"I do believe your right Frodo!" said Harry, Unsure what else to say.
"I do say, my dear Harry, let's have a nice cup of tea!" (I don't really need to put who says things here now because there's only two in the conversation, you can work it out!)
"Here in space? I do believe that you forget that here in space, or should I say, on this space station we have the slight difficulty that we don't know our way around!"
"Quite so, Harry!"
"Oh I do wish we didn't have to speak so posh..."
"I know..."
"Hey, we're not speaking posh any more!"
"Awesome!"
Ok now we're getting really bored... the last one was fairly funny, we need something to happen! I shall now delve into the deepest parts of my brain...right at the back of my imagination! Here we go! Here is an idea! Wait no, that's a piece of gum...aha! Here is an idea! Ok here we go...
Harry now drew out a wand, for no apparent reason, and Frodo draws his sword in defence.
"Harry, your rip-off author can't save you now! Ha! To think, my author made me originally and according to the newspaper, I haven't actually read your book, you steal ideas from the book I'm in!" shouted Frodo at the unsure Harry.
"T-t-t-that's not true!!" said Harry, knowing quite well that it is. (Allegedly)
"Oh but it is my friend...it is..." said Frodo, over-dramatically.
"Do you have to be so dramatic? What are you going to tell me that Voldemorts my father or something?"
"But, hey? How? What? How'd u know that? Did he tell you at your last 'confrontation'?"
"No, I didn't know it was true, which I think it isn't, I mean, why would he try to kill me if I was his son?"
"Oh but it IS true! It IS!!!" he trailed off with a hiss.
"I thought you were the good guy in Lord of the Rings? Because if you are, why are you hissing?"
"Oh yea..."
Ok now this is getting boring again. Let's do something interesting.
Some where in the deep delves off the space station, Marilyn Manson is conducting a reincarnation.
"I am Marilyn Manson, ha, I'm bad, ha, and I'm going to reincarnate somebody, ha..."
She reincarnates the man from the Walkers 'Squares' Crisps advert.
"Huh? I was supposed to reincarnate a human being not some strange weirdo that thinks he's Gandalf!"
"Y-what??" said the bewildered Man from the advert.
"Oh well, guess I'll have to send him back to where he came!"
"No! Not that eternal dimension of walkers square crisps, they had eyes, I tell you, THEY HAD EYES!!"
"Eh?" said Marilyn Manson.
The man from the advert ran as fast as he could and wound up running straight into Hugh again...
"Oh...Hi..." he said nervously.
"Hello punch bag!" said Hugh, happy to actually be doing something.
"Oh god!!" said the man from the advert.
"Wait a moment" said Neo.
"What?" said Hugh
"This guy is bugging me; I want to know who he is and where he came from." Neo replied.
"Ok" said Hugh.
1 Hour later
"I can't get him to say anything; all he could say was 'T-is not natural!' which bugged me" said Arnold.
"Of course he didn't say anything else! All he had chance to say was that and then you shot him with that pretty, shiny gun thing!" said Hugh.
"Oh yes..." said Arnold.
"I'm still alive you know..." said the man.
"Y-what?" said Arnold.
Arnold proceeded to shoot him again.
"Ouch! You shot me in the eye! The eye for god's sake! Jesus!" shouted the man.
"What is this guy on about?" said Neo, dreaming of how cool it would be to be a dog's chew toy, don't ask my why.
Jean from X-men appears from no-where.
"I sense what you are thinking Neo...You are thinking of how wonderful it would be to be a dog's chew toy..." as soon as she finished the sentence she had a strange look on her face. She turned to Hugh.
"Does he seem this weird all the time?" she said telepathically to him."
"Hell yes." He said aloud, not really bothered if Neo heard him because Neo probably wasn't listening.
Jean phased through a wall and disappeared from this strange story forever.
"Okay..." said Arnold.
Hugh walked up to Neo and grabbed him by the shoulders. He shakes Neo violently.
"For god's sake, man! Wake up and stop thinking and doing such strange things!
"Who, What?" said Neo.
"Jesus, the author had to put 'Him' in this story, didn't he?" said Hugh.
"Yup I did" said the author...me...
"You can talk to us?" said Hugh.
"Yes! And I can also make your lives living hell!" I said...author said...
"Oh gee..." said Hugh
Hugh is now teleported to the 'Xavier institute for gifted children', to be precise, the 'danger room', set to maximum level. He can never die, he can feel pain, and he just re-spawns at the beginning of the level over and over and over again! Ha!
"Christ!" said Arnold, as I provide a television that comes out of a panel on the wall for him to watch Hugh's torment.
"Hey I bet you he dies and re-spawns in the next 20 seconds." I said...author said (from now on lets just leave it at 'I said' it gets a little long winded otherwise.)
"How much?" said Arnold, "Look at him, he's doing fine, I bet he will live longer."
"Oh yes?" I said.
A whirling saw blade of death fly's across the danger room towards Hugh. He pulls out the 'censored' sign with a sigh and glum face. He holds it upright to hide his entire body.
"OOO, Nasty" said Neo. Who in fact hasn't said anything for a while.
"Can we do something now?" Both Harry and Frodo asked (me).
"Ok then..." I say reluctantly.
Frodo pulls out sword and kills Harry. Harry asks Frodo to pass on his last words to Hermione, his secret love. The words were "help I'm dieing bring me back to life using some sort of spell, don't ask me which one, you're the boffin, oh and by the way I love you. Thanks. Bye."
Somewhere in my imagination Hermione's sitting there thumbing through a book for it right now while grumbling about how Harry bosses her around and how he calls her a boffin.
"That ok for you Frodo?" I said.
"Ah, it'll do, can I go play in the 'hobbit size deluxe' paddling pool in your imagination again now like I was before you dragged me into this retched story of yours?" he asked.
"Knock yourself out." I replied
"How do I get there?" He asked again.
"I just told you..."
Frodo gulped, and then proceeded to run into a wall, and then slap himself around the face a few times. I eventually managed to stop laughing. He sat up and said
"It's not working!"
"I know, that's not really how you get back, I was just seeing if you'd fall for it! Ok I'll send you back now..."
I sent him back, my laughter still ringing in his ears... Probably because in my imagination I glued a tape recorder to his ear and force him to listen to my laughter for the hell of it.
"I am still alive y-know" said the man from the advert that's getting annoying now.
"JESUS!" said Arnold who now kicks the limp body of the man from the advert and then jumps up and down oh him.
"Ouch!!" he screams
"Just die already!" shouts Arnold in an attempt to command him to die.
"Oh that was pitiful! Commanding me to die? Really..." the man form the advert retorted.
"You're in for it now Crisp boy!" shouted Arnold.
"EEP..." said the man.
"Boy I wish Hugh was here, I could really use that censored sign." said Arnold.
"Alright, alright, I give up" I said.
Hugh re-appears still with a look of shock from his face because in the other dimension he was about to be diced by a saw blade again.
"Phew" he said.
"Hey don't get do comfy, I just brought you back so you could give Arnold the censored sign" I said.
"Oh dear lord no! Don't send me back there! I'll do anything!" Hugh pleaded.
"That doesn't really appeal to me considering you'll do whatever I want anyway because this is MY imagination and story" I said.
"Oh yes, ok, how about this, I'll do whatever you want 'willingly' and 'when' you want!" Hugh pleaded again.
"Alright, alright, I give in!" I said.
Hugh handed the censored sign to Arnold who made efficient use of it as he used it to hide him and that annoying 'Crisp Boy' as he then continued to blast hundreds of times behind the sign. He came from behind the sign with the gun slung over his shoulder like those old soldiers with the big black hats and red coat things and black trousers. The gun was smoking.
I was getting pretty bored with Arnold now, surviving every thing just because he was tall and muscle-y, well no longer!
"I'm sending you to an alternate dimension of hell, Arnold!"
"I will be back!"
"Oh you think so, eh?"
I then banished Arnold to a dimension where machines rule and he is the sole survivor left to try to fight them off but he can't die but can feel pain. He just re-spawns causing him eternal torture!!
"What happens to me then?" said Neo, fearing the worst.
"I'm leaving you in suspended animation on the spot until I can be bothered to write a sequel to this!" I said.
"Oh, goodie...?" said Neo, unsure, "does 'suspended animation' hurt?"
"Only if I decide to cause you pain for no apparent reason as I'm suspending you" I reply evil-y.
"Oh great!" said Neo.
"Don't worry, I have no reason to do that though, you are quite amusing with your superior..."
Neo cut him off.
"...Intelligence?" he suggested.
"Heck no!" I said, "Stupidity!"
"Oh thanks!" he said.
"I could always hurt you..." I replied
"I take that back, I'd 'LOVE' to be suspended in animation (preferably without pain) thank you!" he backtracked.
"What happens to me?" said Marilyn Manson who played a tiny, non-important role.
"I don't know, go jump of a cliff, or something..." I replied, not really caring.
"Okay! My weird Goth-y pals will reincarnate me!" he said
"Okay...?" I said confused, as I watched him run through a door which somehow took him from a space station to a cliff-top and I then continued to watch him jump off the cliff, "..."
I think that sorts all the characters.
"I'm still alive you know" said the now extremely annoying 'crisp guy'.
"God damn you!" I said as I banished him to my imagination where he is surrounded by walker's square crisps. "NO!!!" he said, the words trailing off as he collapsed on the floor in a fit. Again I now apologise for any insults, or accusations made against any famous people. The accusations where not of my making, I just remembered them off 1) A newspaper
...And...
2) A website.
The insults were my making, yes, but they are only intending as jokes, not real things, half the insults are made up. Do not take offence.
Until next time!
Ad-d-I-d-d-I-ad-I-d-d THAT'S ALL FOLKS!!
'LOONY TOONS' theme tune (no I am not implying I own that song or the phrase above, just using them as a joke, okay all you suing happy people?)
Until next time I can be bothered to right the sequel, its goodbye for now!
... By ... "Author" ...
... X-files music ...
SIONARA!
"The weird and wonderful world of weirdness!!"
... By ... "Author" ...
... X-Files music ... All accusations against famous people in this story are not my own, they were found on a site that points out things and accuses famous people of things. Just so happened I found use for them in my story. This removes any
need for suing me for slander.
We left off with Hugh Jackman, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Neo, Frodo Baggins and Harry Potter all in strange and crazy situations. Frodo and Potter are mentally duke-in it out with each other without realising it. Hugh Jackman, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Neo were doing weird things (Neo talking gibberish as usual)...
"Hey!! Look! The reader is back!" exclaimed Neo.
"Shush!" hissed Hugh under his breath, "they can't know we can see them!"
"Why not?" said Neo, talking blatantly without a care in the world that he's disobeying my orders not to let you readers know they can see you, woops, I just said it again didn't I? Author now repeatedly slams his head off desk.
"He's already gone and said it now hasn't he?" said Arnold.
"Who?" said Neo.
"The Author" said Hugh.
"Oh yea..." said Neo.
"This is VERY boring..." said Arnold.
The other two nodded in agreement, partly because they agreed, and partly because they didn't want to get on the wrong side of that big terminator Arnold thing by disagreeing with him. Then again I think he's right, let's move on to see how the magical couple; Frodo and Harry, are doing.
"Please stop walking into Me." said Harry.
"I'm trying here, but when we're both invisible it is a tad difficult!" replied Frodo.
"Why are we speaking so terribly posh like this?" queried Harry.
"I believe, dear Harry, that it is the Authors doing." answered Frodo.
"I do believe your right Frodo!" said Harry, Unsure what else to say.
"I do say, my dear Harry, let's have a nice cup of tea!" (I don't really need to put who says things here now because there's only two in the conversation, you can work it out!)
"Here in space? I do believe that you forget that here in space, or should I say, on this space station we have the slight difficulty that we don't know our way around!"
"Quite so, Harry!"
"Oh I do wish we didn't have to speak so posh..."
"I know..."
"Hey, we're not speaking posh any more!"
"Awesome!"
Ok now we're getting really bored... the last one was fairly funny, we need something to happen! I shall now delve into the deepest parts of my brain...right at the back of my imagination! Here we go! Here is an idea! Wait no, that's a piece of gum...aha! Here is an idea! Ok here we go...
Harry now drew out a wand, for no apparent reason, and Frodo draws his sword in defence.
"Harry, your rip-off author can't save you now! Ha! To think, my author made me originally and according to the newspaper, I haven't actually read your book, you steal ideas from the book I'm in!" shouted Frodo at the unsure Harry.
"T-t-t-that's not true!!" said Harry, knowing quite well that it is. (Allegedly)
"Oh but it is my friend...it is..." said Frodo, over-dramatically.
"Do you have to be so dramatic? What are you going to tell me that Voldemorts my father or something?"
"But, hey? How? What? How'd u know that? Did he tell you at your last 'confrontation'?"
"No, I didn't know it was true, which I think it isn't, I mean, why would he try to kill me if I was his son?"
"Oh but it IS true! It IS!!!" he trailed off with a hiss.
"I thought you were the good guy in Lord of the Rings? Because if you are, why are you hissing?"
"Oh yea..."
Ok now this is getting boring again. Let's do something interesting.
Some where in the deep delves off the space station, Marilyn Manson is conducting a reincarnation.
"I am Marilyn Manson, ha, I'm bad, ha, and I'm going to reincarnate somebody, ha..."
She reincarnates the man from the Walkers 'Squares' Crisps advert.
"Huh? I was supposed to reincarnate a human being not some strange weirdo that thinks he's Gandalf!"
"Y-what??" said the bewildered Man from the advert.
"Oh well, guess I'll have to send him back to where he came!"
"No! Not that eternal dimension of walkers square crisps, they had eyes, I tell you, THEY HAD EYES!!"
"Eh?" said Marilyn Manson.
The man from the advert ran as fast as he could and wound up running straight into Hugh again...
"Oh...Hi..." he said nervously.
"Hello punch bag!" said Hugh, happy to actually be doing something.
"Oh god!!" said the man from the advert.
"Wait a moment" said Neo.
"What?" said Hugh
"This guy is bugging me; I want to know who he is and where he came from." Neo replied.
"Ok" said Hugh.
1 Hour later
"I can't get him to say anything; all he could say was 'T-is not natural!' which bugged me" said Arnold.
"Of course he didn't say anything else! All he had chance to say was that and then you shot him with that pretty, shiny gun thing!" said Hugh.
"Oh yes..." said Arnold.
"I'm still alive you know..." said the man.
"Y-what?" said Arnold.
Arnold proceeded to shoot him again.
"Ouch! You shot me in the eye! The eye for god's sake! Jesus!" shouted the man.
"What is this guy on about?" said Neo, dreaming of how cool it would be to be a dog's chew toy, don't ask my why.
Jean from X-men appears from no-where.
"I sense what you are thinking Neo...You are thinking of how wonderful it would be to be a dog's chew toy..." as soon as she finished the sentence she had a strange look on her face. She turned to Hugh.
"Does he seem this weird all the time?" she said telepathically to him."
"Hell yes." He said aloud, not really bothered if Neo heard him because Neo probably wasn't listening.
Jean phased through a wall and disappeared from this strange story forever.
"Okay..." said Arnold.
Hugh walked up to Neo and grabbed him by the shoulders. He shakes Neo violently.
"For god's sake, man! Wake up and stop thinking and doing such strange things!
"Who, What?" said Neo.
"Jesus, the author had to put 'Him' in this story, didn't he?" said Hugh.
"Yup I did" said the author...me...
"You can talk to us?" said Hugh.
"Yes! And I can also make your lives living hell!" I said...author said...
"Oh gee..." said Hugh
Hugh is now teleported to the 'Xavier institute for gifted children', to be precise, the 'danger room', set to maximum level. He can never die, he can feel pain, and he just re-spawns at the beginning of the level over and over and over again! Ha!
"Christ!" said Arnold, as I provide a television that comes out of a panel on the wall for him to watch Hugh's torment.
"Hey I bet you he dies and re-spawns in the next 20 seconds." I said...author said (from now on lets just leave it at 'I said' it gets a little long winded otherwise.)
"How much?" said Arnold, "Look at him, he's doing fine, I bet he will live longer."
"Oh yes?" I said.
A whirling saw blade of death fly's across the danger room towards Hugh. He pulls out the 'censored' sign with a sigh and glum face. He holds it upright to hide his entire body.
"OOO, Nasty" said Neo. Who in fact hasn't said anything for a while.
"Can we do something now?" Both Harry and Frodo asked (me).
"Ok then..." I say reluctantly.
Frodo pulls out sword and kills Harry. Harry asks Frodo to pass on his last words to Hermione, his secret love. The words were "help I'm dieing bring me back to life using some sort of spell, don't ask me which one, you're the boffin, oh and by the way I love you. Thanks. Bye."
Somewhere in my imagination Hermione's sitting there thumbing through a book for it right now while grumbling about how Harry bosses her around and how he calls her a boffin.
"That ok for you Frodo?" I said.
"Ah, it'll do, can I go play in the 'hobbit size deluxe' paddling pool in your imagination again now like I was before you dragged me into this retched story of yours?" he asked.
"Knock yourself out." I replied
"How do I get there?" He asked again.
"I just told you..."
Frodo gulped, and then proceeded to run into a wall, and then slap himself around the face a few times. I eventually managed to stop laughing. He sat up and said
"It's not working!"
"I know, that's not really how you get back, I was just seeing if you'd fall for it! Ok I'll send you back now..."
I sent him back, my laughter still ringing in his ears... Probably because in my imagination I glued a tape recorder to his ear and force him to listen to my laughter for the hell of it.
"I am still alive y-know" said the man from the advert that's getting annoying now.
"JESUS!" said Arnold who now kicks the limp body of the man from the advert and then jumps up and down oh him.
"Ouch!!" he screams
"Just die already!" shouts Arnold in an attempt to command him to die.
"Oh that was pitiful! Commanding me to die? Really..." the man form the advert retorted.
"You're in for it now Crisp boy!" shouted Arnold.
"EEP..." said the man.
"Boy I wish Hugh was here, I could really use that censored sign." said Arnold.
"Alright, alright, I give up" I said.
Hugh re-appears still with a look of shock from his face because in the other dimension he was about to be diced by a saw blade again.
"Phew" he said.
"Hey don't get do comfy, I just brought you back so you could give Arnold the censored sign" I said.
"Oh dear lord no! Don't send me back there! I'll do anything!" Hugh pleaded.
"That doesn't really appeal to me considering you'll do whatever I want anyway because this is MY imagination and story" I said.
"Oh yes, ok, how about this, I'll do whatever you want 'willingly' and 'when' you want!" Hugh pleaded again.
"Alright, alright, I give in!" I said.
Hugh handed the censored sign to Arnold who made efficient use of it as he used it to hide him and that annoying 'Crisp Boy' as he then continued to blast hundreds of times behind the sign. He came from behind the sign with the gun slung over his shoulder like those old soldiers with the big black hats and red coat things and black trousers. The gun was smoking.
I was getting pretty bored with Arnold now, surviving every thing just because he was tall and muscle-y, well no longer!
"I'm sending you to an alternate dimension of hell, Arnold!"
"I will be back!"
"Oh you think so, eh?"
I then banished Arnold to a dimension where machines rule and he is the sole survivor left to try to fight them off but he can't die but can feel pain. He just re-spawns causing him eternal torture!!
"What happens to me then?" said Neo, fearing the worst.
"I'm leaving you in suspended animation on the spot until I can be bothered to write a sequel to this!" I said.
"Oh, goodie...?" said Neo, unsure, "does 'suspended animation' hurt?"
"Only if I decide to cause you pain for no apparent reason as I'm suspending you" I reply evil-y.
"Oh great!" said Neo.
"Don't worry, I have no reason to do that though, you are quite amusing with your superior..."
Neo cut him off.
"...Intelligence?" he suggested.
"Heck no!" I said, "Stupidity!"
"Oh thanks!" he said.
"I could always hurt you..." I replied
"I take that back, I'd 'LOVE' to be suspended in animation (preferably without pain) thank you!" he backtracked.
"What happens to me?" said Marilyn Manson who played a tiny, non-important role.
"I don't know, go jump of a cliff, or something..." I replied, not really caring.
"Okay! My weird Goth-y pals will reincarnate me!" he said
"Okay...?" I said confused, as I watched him run through a door which somehow took him from a space station to a cliff-top and I then continued to watch him jump off the cliff, "..."
I think that sorts all the characters.
"I'm still alive you know" said the now extremely annoying 'crisp guy'.
"God damn you!" I said as I banished him to my imagination where he is surrounded by walker's square crisps. "NO!!!" he said, the words trailing off as he collapsed on the floor in a fit. Again I now apologise for any insults, or accusations made against any famous people. The accusations where not of my making, I just remembered them off 1) A newspaper
...And...
2) A website.
The insults were my making, yes, but they are only intending as jokes, not real things, half the insults are made up. Do not take offence.
Until next time!
Ad-d-I-d-d-I-ad-I-d-d THAT'S ALL FOLKS!!
'LOONY TOONS' theme tune (no I am not implying I own that song or the phrase above, just using them as a joke, okay all you suing happy people?)
Until next time I can be bothered to right the sequel, its goodbye for now!
... By ... "Author" ...
... X-files music ...
SIONARA!