CHAPTER FOURTEEN: Hogsmeade Trip For Two
With Ron's 'blessing' they both felt a lot better about their trip to Hogsmeade. But even that didn't make sneaking away any easier - though Ginny did not have as big of a problem hiding from Ron and Hermione as Harry did. The best excuse he had been able to come up with was that he was locking himself in a room somewhere in the school to get started on his Transfiguration mid-term project. Not entirely believable, but it was the best he could do. When Harry was sure his friends had bought the excuse, he left Gryffindor Tower with his school bag slung over his shoulder – the invisibility cloak and the Marauder's Map safely tucked inside.
Harry went by the library first to get Ginny. She had been there since breakfast, waiting for him. They hadn't wanted to make it too obvious by having them both leaving Gryffindor Tower at the same time.
The invisibility cloak was just an added precaution incase for some reason they couldn't take the secret tunnel back to Hogwarts. He pulled out the Marauder's Map from his bag, checking to see if anyone was in the near vicinity before he opened the doorway to the secret tunnel.
"I still can't believe how long Fred and George were able to keep this tunnel a secret," Ginny said as they stepped in.
"It's a good thing they did, otherwise I would have missed out on a quite a few Hogsmeade trips."
When they made it to the cellar of the infamous Honeydukes, Harry made sure there was no one around before stepping out in to the open. He hurried up the concrete steps with Ginny, and ever so quietly opened the cellar door.
It was not as easy to sneak out unnoticed without there being a real Hogsmeade trip scheduled. There were mostly younger children with their parents, and it was not nearly as busy or crowded during a regular Hogsmeade weekend. It helped that they weren't wearing their Hogwarts uniforms, which allowed them to look a lot less inconspicuous as they slipped out the shop door.
When they were out on the main street, Harry slipped his hand through hers, asking, "what do you want to do first?"
"How about we drop by the Three Broomsticks and grab a butterbeer," she suggested. "It was freezing in that tunnel."
Once again they had to be careful when they entered the Three Broomsticks, in case any teachers were present. Harry hadn't considered that possibility ahead of time, but fortunately for them no Hogwarts professors were inside.
They chose an out of the way booth secluded in a corner, where they would be paid the least attention. Just because Harry had not seen anyone he recognized did not mean there was no one who recognized him.
Madame Rosmertta came by shortly after they were seated. She raised a slight eyebrow at Harry and Ginny before heading back to head kitchen with their orders.
"I'm really glad my brother's finally decided to grow up," Ginny said, with some relief. "But I still can't believe how calm he was about it."
"I guess he trusts us," said Harry. He didn't bother mentioning Hermione had a hand in Ron's miraculous change of heart. Even so, he found it kind of embarrassing to admit out loud that Ron was happy for them, even if it was what he had been hoping for all along.
"Have you thought about what you're going to do after you graduate?" She asked, when Madame Rosmertta returned with their butterbeers.
That was another startling reality – graduation. It was less than eight months away. He had always been too caught up on just making sure he was alive when he finished school that he had never given much thought to life after Hogwarts.
"I suppose a posting of some sort at the Ministry," he said after some thought. He didn't think it was necessary to add that he wasn't even sure if there would be a Ministry building left after graduation. "I thought about being an Auror, but I don't think my marks are high enough for that. Other then that I haven't really thought much about it. I know I should, but I can't seem to think that far ahead. Hermione's already had a dozen owls or more with job offers around England. I think some of them were even from out of country."
"Has she decided on anything yet?"
Harry rolled his eyes and took a swig from his butterbeer. "She wants to look at all her options before deciding on anything." He wondered if he was able to keep the jealousy from surfacing in his voice. If anyone deserved all the opportunities in the wizarding world it was Hermione, but that didn't stop him from feeling a bit envious because she had the luxury of figuring out what the path she wanted her life to take.
"Sounds like Hermione has her whole future planned out," noted Ginny.
"The problem with plans is they hardly ever work out," he told her, his voice taking on an edge. "At least in my experience."
"You could play Quidditch."
"Playing on a professional team is a lot different from playing on a school team."
"Harry, I've seen the scouts that have come to the Gryffindor games, and I know you have too. Why won't you let yourself believe that you're good enough?"
He didn't have an answer for her. He wasn't sure why it scared him to think of Quidditch as a career. Perhaps it was because Quidditch was the one thing that had kept him sane through the years, had helped him get through some very difficult times. If he tried out for a team and didn't make it, how would he handle that rejection? He felt Ginny gently squeezing his hand and it dragged him away from his thoughts.
Her eyes trained on his, she said, "when all this is over, Harry, you are going to have to decide what you want to do with the rest of your life. It can't hurt to start thinking about it now, can it?"
How was he supposed to tell her he was afraid to think that far ahead? That he could never allow himself to spend countless hours pondering what his life would be like in five years. Because the reality was, he had to fight one more battle against the most feared Dark Wizard to ever walk the planet. It would either be him or Voldemort that would come out alive in the end. One would finally be defeated for good. The less Harry dwelt on the future, the more time he had to focus on everything Lupin was teaching him, in hopes that it would keep him alive long enough to make sure Voldemort did not get to full power again. He was going to tell Ginny all that, knowing that if anyone would understand his refusal to plan ahead it would be her, but before he had a chance to open his mouth a loud, resonating explosion rocked the entire building. Sections of the old ceiling were falling down in huge chunks, chasing many of the patrons below their table for cover.
Harry was on his feet, the sick feeling of dread he hadn't felt in weeks returning in full force. He scanned for any sign of what was causing the destruction, but with most of the lighting knocked out by the blast visibility was extremely poor. People were screaming and storming the door in mass panic.
"Harry, wants happening?"
He could feel the panic in Ginny's voice. He reached out to reassure her when a second blast knocked them off their feet. Harry was thrown across several meters, landing hard on top of a crushed wooden table. Groaning, he pushed himself up, tasting blood in his mouth. He didn't have to be a medwizard to know the blood could be attributed to the massive throbbing he was feeling in his left temple. He frantically searched for Ginny, relief flodding him when he saw her getting shakily to her feet a short distance away.
The Three Broomsticks was suddenly flooded with light, as the wooden entrance door was blasted aside, taking out those who were rushing it in an attempt to get out. Harry would have gladly taken the darkness over the three hooded figures in black cloaks standing in the doorway. Death Eaters. They were so fast that the wizards nearest them were dead before they could reach for their wands.
Laughing mercilessly, one of the Death Eaters pointed its wand at the ceiling and shouted a spell Harry was unfamiliar with. Random bolts of crackling energy shot out from the tip of its wand, destroying every part of the roof it touched. Harry looked on in horror as one of the targets was the ceiling above Ginny's head. Without so much as a single thought to his own safety, Harry threw himself at her, knocking her out of harm's way.
There wasn't enough time for Harry to do the same for himself, though. His only hope lie in using his wand and yelling Contego Defendo to summon a defense shield around himself. But he wasn't quite fast enough, and instead of the debris bouncing off of him as it should have, he was buried beneath it.
"He's been out since they brought him here.""How badly is he hurt?"
"What was he doing at Hogsmeade in the first place?"
Fighting his way back to consciousness, Harry was able to make out the last voice as Ron's. Eyes still closed, he couldn't tell what Ron's expression was at learning he had not been locked in a classroom somewhere, working on Transfiguration. His head was throbbing and he wondered how long he had been out for. Gingerly, he opened his eyes, squinting at the bright sunlight that filled the room.
Sirius was the first one to notice he was awake. He looked to be exercising extreme restraint from throwing his arms around his godson and hugging him to death. Hermione and Ron were there too, with Ginny between them. Except for some small cuts and smudges of dirt on her face, she looked unharmed, and Harry was grateful to whatever higher being that had kept her safe.
"You had us all scared to death, Harry," said Sirius, unable to hide his relief any longer. "How do you feel?"
Harry tried to sit up, but when it became too painful, stayed lying down. "Just a little sore," he lied. They already all looked so concerned he didn't feel the need to add to their worries. "How did I get back here?"
"Ginny and some of the survivors from the Three Broomsticks helped dig you out," Sirius began. Though he was relieved that Harry would be okay, his face was still pale. "They contacted Dumbledore and he brought you back here. Madame Pomfrey said your defensive shield was just strong enough to keep the debris from crushing you."
"What about the Death Eaters?"
"The Ministry's been on alert for some time now. They sent in the Auror's before too much damage could be caused. But they only managed to catch a handful of them," Sirius finished bitterly.
Ignoring the pain in his head, Harry turned so he could look at Ginny, who was looking like she had spent the last few hours fearing for his life. "Are you okay?" He asked her, his voice dropping in volume.
She nodded, and placed a reassuring hand on his arm instead of speaking.
"What were you doing in Hogsmeade, Harry?" Ron asked.
"I've been wondering that same thing myself," Sirius said before Harry could come up with a response.
"I needed to pick up a few things and I brought Ginny along," he explained. He prayed Ginny hadn't told them anything different.
"And you decided to go without telling anyone?"
His godfather's concern was gone now. It was replaced by anger and disappointment.
"It wasn't a big deal," he said, and wished he could take back the words as soon as he finished saying them.
"No big deal? You almost got yourself killed, Harry. I thought you had a little more sense then that," Sirius said angrily.
He didn't want to have it out with Sirius in front of his friends, especially when his godfather was insisting on talking to him like he was an irresponsible teenager, instead of someone who had spent his entire life taking care of himself. Sirius must have been thinking along the same lines because he asked them all to leave. Harry didn't look at any of them as he left, especially Ginny. He didn't want to get her in anymore trouble.
"What were you thinking?" Sirius said when the others were gone. "How could you just sneak off like that?"
Despite the aching in his body Harry managed to raise his voice enough to shout, "you're the one who told me I should lighten up and have a bit of fun."
"When I said fun I didn't mean doing something foolish like putting your life in danger," Sirius said, raising his voice to match Harry's. "You don't know the hell I went through when Dumbledore contacted me and said you were badly injured in a Death Eater attack."
Harry turned his head to the side, refusing to look at Sirius. He had never wanted to put Sirius through that, but all he had wanted was to have one normal afternoon away from everything that reminded him of what was to come. But Sirius would never understand that. He was too wrapped up in wanting to keep his godson safe.
"You endangered Ginny Weasley's life."
"I saved her," Harry shot back, managing to sit up a little.
"Only after you put her at risk," Sirius countered. He paused briefly before asking. "What does she mean to you?"
"We're close," he answered, not wanting to imply anything more because he didn't think he liked where Sirius was going with this.
"Ron tells me you're quite a bit more then that."
"No offense, Sirius, but whatever relationship I have with Ginny is none of your business."
"It does concern me if you're putting your life on the line for her."
"And I would do it again in a heartbeat," Harry said defiantly.
Sirius ran a hand through his shaggy, dark hair. "Harry, nobody more than me wants to see you happy, but I think you're losing sight of what's important here."
It was at that moment Harry completely lost his temper. "I haven't forgotten what's coming, Sirius. Every minute I'm in school is spent teaching me things that will hopefully save my life and everyone around me when Voldemort attacks. I've known what my priorities are for the last seven years. I'm responsible for making sure every one I love is safe and protected. I didn't ask for any of this, but I wasn't given a choice if I wanted to be a hero or not. I know I have a job to do and I'll do it."
"The burden is not yours alone to bear, Harry," came the voice of the Headmaster who had come to stand by Harry's side of the bed. "Sirius, would you be kind enough to give us a moment alone?"
Sirius didn't look like he wanted to, but he heeded to Dumbledore's request and left the hospital wing.
Looking Harry over, Dumbledore said, "you look tremendously better then when I last saw you."
Harry was lost for a moment when he looked at Dumbledore. He was suddenly looking a lot older to Harry then he had at the beginning of the school year feast. He knew Dumbledore was getting on in years, but in the past he had somehow always managed to appear younger then he really was.
"Sir, if you're going to lecture me Sirius already took care of that."
"Then that makes my job a lot easier," said the Headmaster. "I know why you did what you did, Harry. We all feel the need to get a away on certain occasions, I only wished you had gone about doing so in a different way."
Harry hadn't felt ashamed about sneaking out before, but now as he lay there listening to Dumbledore, guilt about making everyone panic was starting to set in. "I didn't mean for this happen," he said, as if that would change anything.
"I know you didn't, Harry," Dumbledore said, his tone understanding, "but you should also know you are not responsible for anyone but yourself. I know you see it as your duty to protect everyone around you, but you mustn't. I'm not saying you can't look out for them – nor would I even ask you not to knowing the kind of person you are. But you are only one person, Harry, and by that I mean one day you will learn that in some point during our lives we all fail the people we love. It's part of being human."
Though he knew Dumbledore spoke the truth, that didn't make accepting it any easier. He didn't want to fail anyone, but the words were that much harder to swallow because he knew he would. Cedric Diggory was only the beginning of what would be a long list of failures.
"Sir, I know Ginny was with me, but she shouldn't be held accountable. I made her come with me," Harry insisted.
The corners of Dumbledore's mouth twitched so he was smiling. "I find that interesting, considering Miss Weasley has spent the last three hours insisting the exact opposite to me."
"How much trouble are we in?" Harry dared to ask.
Dumbledore's smile dissolved. "I think the knowledge that all future Hogsmeade trips have been cancelled is punishment enough. I'm afraid it's no longer safe. It will be some time before the shop owners recover from the damages."
"What about Hogwarts?"
"The school is still protected – Lord Voldemort knows that. Any attack at this point would be premature and unwise. He knows that as well."
Harry was pondering how long it would stay that way, when Dumbledore spoke again.
"I'm sure all this talking has worn you out, so I'll leave you to rest before Poppy uses force to remove me. And believe me, it would not be the first time she's done that."
With those last words, Dumbledore took his leave. Harry thought after all that he would be too wired to sleep, but he was gone mere seconds after he shut his eyes.
"You can stop worrying," Ron told Hermione while they walked back to Gryffindor Tower. "Harry may have a death wish but it's never going to come true."
She gave him a disapproving frown. "Ron, you shouldn't joke about things like that."
"I'm sure he would say the same thing. Look, if it'll make you feel any better we'll go back when Sirius is gone and you can ask him yourself."
"You can be such a prat," she said, trying to sound firm, but Ron could tell she wasn't being serious.
"I try," he said smiling at her in return.
She grabbed his hand at that moment and began leading him in the opposite direction of the common room. She wasn't leading him in the direction of the hospital wing either.
"Where are we going?"
Instead of answering, she continued leading him on until they came to a deserted hallway with a ledge and a window looking out onto the grounds below.
She went and sat down on the stone ledge. "I think it's time we talked about everything that's happened with us since school started," she began. "I know we're not totally okay, and I hate that it took Harry almost dying for me to realize how stupid I was being," she said, shaking her head. "At first, I thought I'd do myself up a bit to show you I could be just as good as those models in Modern Teen Witch. But then – and don't laugh at me – I sort of enjoyed Lavender and Pavarti's company on the odd occasion. Nothing against you or Harry, but it was nice to have someone of the same gender to talk to for once."
"I didn't help the situation with us," Ron acknowledged, digging his hands into the pockets of his robe. "I just couldn't help myself from thinking that once you let Lavender and Pavarti fill your head and started getting some attention you would realize you were wasting your time with me."
In an instant, Hermione was on her feet and standing in front of him. She grabbed both his hands in hers and said, "Ron, I have never thought that. No matter how many times you've insulted or infuriated me, not for one second have I regret being with you."
"Maybe you should have," he said, breaking free of her touch. "I've done a lot of thinking about us and I've come to the realization that all I've ever done is hold you back."
"That's not true," She said, vigorously shaking her head.
Ignoring her words, he continued. "You're so much smarter and better then me at everything, and most of the time I just throw it back in your face because I'm trying to make myself feel better. Don't you see what I've done? I've made you settle for me, when any other bloke out there deserves you more than me."
She touched his face with her hand, gently forcing him to look at her. "First of all, I never settled for you. And secondly, I don't want any of those other blokes. I want you." She leaned forward, so her forehead was touching his. "I wish you had told me about this before," she said softly. "I hate that I've been making you feel these things."
"It's not your fault."
She quirked an eyebrow at him. "Are you worried I'm going to leave you for some rule-following, model student?"
"You're not supposed to be the one making jokes. That's my job," he said, trying to sound serious and failing.
She leaned forward a bit more and kissed him. At first, Ron held back, and Hermione thought he would pull away, but then he started moving his lips along hers.
Hermione broke the kiss first. "Are you okay now?"
She was half expecting to hear some wise-ass remark, but he simply said, "yeah, I'm fine."
Normally she could tell when he was lying, but she couldn't then. "Are you sure? Ron, I don't want you – "
He pressed his lips against hers to silence her, giving her the answer she needed – but Hermione knew better. Ron wore his emotions on his sleeves, and when he did try to hide something, more often than not he did a poor job of it – just as he was then.