Part 6: Breath of Heaven, Hold Me Together
"Everyone, out! Move it!" Sirius couldn't tell what the situation was, but the Death Eater using the Sonorus Charm seemed to be very urgent. He could hear the pops of the Apparating Death Eaters above him and the nearly frantic scrambling of the others as they gathered a few items and followed suit. Lucius called for his son who was evidently wandering around in a confused state. Soon, Sirius could hear them too Apparating.
No one seemed to take notice of the large dog in the dungeon who was pacing about nervously. What could make Voldemort's Inner Circles jump up and leave in less than 5 minutes?
"Freeze!" a booming voice ordered, "Get your hands up, Death Eaters! Move it!"
Sirius' heart leaped and he started barking as loudly as he could. He didn't know how and he didn't know why, but that hardly seemed to matter. The cavalry was here at last!
More and more hit-wizards and Aurors entered the building, taking what was left of the Death Eater mass. From the sounds of it, there weren't many who were stupid enough to stay. He strained to hear the sound of Javen who would surely have asked to join the fray. He always did like the big skirmishes, even as an apprentice hit-wizard.
He couldn't hear his old friend above his own barking, but he was sure he was there. He must've seen them dragging Sirius away; he looked right at him. He could hear footsteps slowly coming down the stairs. He barked even louder to anyone who might be there. He was weary of this bondage and he wanted out.
Not until he saw the face of the person who had descended the stairs, did Sirius stop barking. His desperate yelps ceased as suddenly as they had started and left an eerie silence in its wake. He was faced with the one person he feared and yet longed to see the most. The one he had tried to stop thinking of so much during his time here for fear of driving himself mad.
"Sirius." Remus only said one word, but it was enough to ease some of the tension in Sirius' mind. That one word held all the forgiveness he needed as he saw the blind relief in the werewolf's eyes. Remus used Alohomora to undo the locks on the door and muzzle with the efficiency and calmness that betrayed his professional and levelheaded nature. He was unable, however, to remove the locking spell on Sirius' dog form. Sirius didn't really care. He was free. He stood on shaky legs, weak from the curses he had endured and the lack of food for so long. Wormtail must not have had a pet when he was younger. Or if he did, he did not have one for very long.
Remus watched him try to walk toward him, his tail suddenly limp and dead. There was no spring to his step, nor life in his light blue eyes. When he had heard the frantic barks, there was no joy in them. He was barking for his life, with no flare involved. His friend's normally glossy coat was covered in dust and matted with a dubious looking dried liquid. Any weight gained since his pardon was as gone as if it never were. His pale blue eyes were dull and lacked any of the playful mischief the werewolf usually associated with him in any form. And Remus watched silently, with his heart breaking for the second time in 2 weeks as Sirius was unable to reach him. The panting dog finally could walk no further as he sighed and fell onto his side, unconscious. Remus lifted his friend in his arms and gently carried him outside where Dumbledore, Minerva, and Poppy were waiting for them.
* * *
"I trust you know how the Imperius Curse is performed," Javen said as he and Harry walked along the edge of a lake on the outskirts of Dublin.
"Yes, Father," Harry said timidly. He had had another unpleasant experience with the infamous steel ribbing that morning again, leaving his hands raw and bleeding. He was forbidden to treat it again and was beginning to believe they were infected. And to add to his mental whining, he was lonely. Ever since he killed that Death Eater, he had spoken to no being outside of Javen. However, he was determined not to cry like he did before. He was a Gryffindor and would be strong.
"Now, now, my son. There's no need to feel bashful. What happened this morning is done and over with. It's all in the past. There should be no reason for such punishment to be repeated."
"Yes, Father," Harry said again, uncurling his sore fingers. He knew deep in his heart that something was wrong, but he couldn't put his finger on it. He was just a disobedient brat, perhaps. He was ungrateful to the man who saved his life and questioned his authority. Javen was right to punish him for his rebellion. Imagine how lenient Sirius and the others… oh no!
He put up barriers immediately between their minds. Javen had done a good job of making the boy afraid of crossing him. While Javen did not hear the forbidden thought, he could tell the moment he was being blocked from Harry's mind. He also knew exactly how to get by the weak barriers and soon had full connection again. However, his ire had risen at the boy's block and he rounded on him angrily.
Grasping Harry's shoulder tightly in his strong hand, Javen stared at him full in the face. He knew there would be bruises from the grip, but it was a lesson the boy needed to learn and he needed to learn it now. "You must never keep me out of your thoughts, Harry," he warned, "It is rude and unnecessary. This link could save your life one day. It needs to remain open!"
By now, Harry was used to physical punishment for disobedience. He shrank back slightly from the disapproving man before him, but not enough to get away from the bruising fingers. He knew to shirk from Javen's punishment was to invite more of the same. It was the wizard's way to punish severely for something he disapproved of, and it was not as though he were being malicious. He did not hit the boy in anger, but with a cool, calm mind. All Harry felt from his end of the connection was disappointment and frustration at his inability to learn. Harry didn't like this form of punishment, but he could not argue with them. Javen had a way of sounding so persuasive and so intelligent, that he had the boy entirely convinced that the lashing out was all his fault.
"I'm sorry, Father," he apologized, mentally sighing at how much he seemed to be begging pardon. This caused much frustration to know that he was constantly misbehaving and unable to learn properly. No wonder the Dursleys wanted nothing to do with him.
"Why did you block me, Harry? What were you hiding?" Javen demanded.
"Nothing," Harry cringed inside. Now he was a liar too? He did need to be disciplined. It was against everything he had been taught, but he seemed afraid to tell the truth. But he shouldn't be afraid, should he?
Pain exploded in his head as Javen caught the lie easily. "Don't lie to me, Harry."
"I—I was just thinking about Hogwarts. And I was wondering if I could talk to Dumbledore or my friends."
"Why?" he asked, perhaps a little too sharply.
"No reason. It's just been a while since I talked to anyone. I miss them." Harry found it difficult to get his words out. He really was a liar now, to top it all off. But he was so confused, and he didn't know why.
"Is that all you were thinking about?" Harry knew better than to lie again. Javen probably already knew what he was trying to hide anyway.
"No, Father. I was thinking about Sirius again. I didn't mean to, but I did." He was disobedient and a liar. He deserved to be punished.
"What am I going to do with you, Harry? I'm trying to help you all I can. Why can't you learn?"
"I don't know, Father. I'm sorry. I try to block him out, I really do." He unconsciously rubbed his blistered fingers. He did not look forward to the ribbing again, but he had it coming. He brought it upon himself.
"No, I don't believe a punishment will be necessary this time. Despite your slow progress, you are learning. You caught yourself and stopped it on your own. So I'll overlook it. But don't ever try to shut me out again, all right?"
"Yes, Father." Harry didn't mind not meeting the fiery lashes of the flexi steel ribbing any, but he knew that what he had done was inexcusable despite what Javen said. How could he be learning anything? All he learned so far was fear and deceit. But that was certainly not what Javen wanted to teach him, so he must not be trying hard enough. Javen started walking again and he fell back in step.
He looked across the lake and smiled slightly at the sight before him. A young boy scrambled along the opposite shore, his dog yapping around him and chasing rabbits. The dog had to easily be the size of the small child, and it was totally black from head to furry tail. Possibly a New Foundland. Immediately, the unbidden face of his godfather sprang to mind again.
No, he admonished himself. Don't be stupid, it's just a dog. Sirius is dead. It's just a dog. He banished Sirius' face angrily, determined to be obedient and get over a death too long mourned. In front of him, Javen walked on, smiling softly to himself.
* * *
Sirius sat up slowly. Madam Pomfrey had ordered him to stay put since he woke up over an hour ago. Remus was asleep in a chair where he had kept watch over the unconscious Padfoot. If possible, the werewolf's once handsome face looked even more aged and sad since the attack on Manticore's Den.
Everywhere around him felt peaceful and calm. He was safe now and none could hurt him within these walls. Yet he was still nervous and antsy for some reason, even after 3 days of rest in the Hospital Wing. He could tell something was wrong, but he didn't know what. All he could think of was Javen and that mysterious bundle he had carried away from the wreckage. According to Remus, he was on vacation in Egypt and hadn't answered any of the owls sent to him on Sirius' request. But what was Javen doing in Egypt if he knew Sirius was in danger? And Harry… he fit in somehow. But how? He had to talk to Dumbledore. From a very young age, Sirius, like many wizards of the world, believed that the ancient wizard could fix any problem.
He tried to get up, but Remus, who he thought was sleeping, grabbed his wrist. Remus was never a very strong man because of his lycanthropy, but Sirius' body was not yet strong enough to fight him off.
"Lay down, Padfoot," he said smiling. "We didn't bring you back here so you can run off again."
"I need to talk to Dumbledore," Sirius insisted, "Something's wrong."
"Everything's fine, Sirius. Your nerves are shot."
"My nerves are fine, Moony. I need to talk to him. It's about Harry."
Remus' eyes darkened and he lost eye contact with Sirius. Sirius would have regretted bringing up the obviously fresh wound that Harry had left in Remus' heart if he wasn't so anxious to talk to Dumbledore. He could apologize later, but right now, he could not afford to be subtle and slow about this.
"Harry's dead, Sirius," Remus said softly, "He's not coming back."
Images of Javen running away with the strange bundle haunted Sirius' mind continuously. Suddenly everything made perfect sense.
"Harry's alive. And I know where he is," Sirius' voice was strong and steady. Hearing himself say those words out loud eased the weight on his heart. He knew he was right. And he could feel Remus' hope at those words.
"Get Dumbledore for me. Please." Remus still hesitated. Hope, it seemed, was not enough. "Harry's in trouble, Moony. Help me find him. He may be gone forever if we don't hurry."
"Dumbledore's in a meeting," Remus said slowly, moving Sirius' words through his head. Did he dare believe his old friend? Had he finally snapped? There was only one way to find out. "I'll see what I can do. But don't you dare move an inch from that bed. Poppy will have a fit."
Sirius nodded and lay back, sighing in relief. He would be able to talk to Dumbledore. Everything would be all right. When the Headmaster arrived, his eyes were not filled with the usual joviality that Sirius nearly always saw him with. Remus must have briefed him on the way down.
"I trust you have a good reason for the interruption, Sirius?" Dumbledore asked. His voice was still soft and friendly, so Sirius expected he wasn't all that upset for the interrupted meeting with the Minister.
"Harry's alive, Professor," Sirius announced, cutting to the chase. He saw no reason in wasting time with pleasantries.
"Indeed. Go on." Dumbledore was listening. That was a good sign. But then, he would always listen.
"When the Death Eaters dragged me out of the house, I saw Javen carrying Harry away. And now Javen has disappeared. He took him. I know it. He must have led the Death Eaters there as a distraction…" he trailed off, knowing how ridiculous he sounded.
"These are serious allegations, Sirius," Dumbledore said, "Do you have any proof? You were under a great deal of stress at the time and now. How can you be sure?"
"I am thinking as clearly as I ever did, Professor," Sirius said.
"Headmaster," Remus interrupted, "The body…"
"What body?" Sirius' stomach fell, "There was a body?"
"Thank you, Remus," Dumbledore, "You're right."
"What body, Professor?" demanded Sirius.
"Exactly. There was none. We assumed that the Death Eaters took both your and Harry's bodies away so they could not be traced. The Killing Curse was very thick in the air and the Dark Mark took a week to disappear. We had no reason to suspect anything but the worst."
"Then how did you find me? It's not usual for hit-wizards and Aurors to randomly attack Voldemort's headquarters unless they had a reason."
"We had an anonymous tip that you were alive and well," Dumbledore's eyes twinkled for a moment. "It seems that you made a friend out there."
"And wouldn't Javen be called in to help with the raid? He was one of the only hit-wizards missing from the raid."
"Why should he be there?" asked Dumbledore, "He was fired 10 years ago from the Ministry."
"Fired?" asked Remus, "But he told us he was a hit-wizard. About to be promoted to Junior Auror status."
"He lied to us," Sirius said angrily, "And now he has Harry."
"Calm down, Sirius," Dumbledore said. "We don't know that that's what happened. Yes, the circumstantial evidence is strong, but we need to discuss this in a formal meeting with the Governors and Minister. I'll arrange one for tomorrow. For now, you need to get your rest."
"But Harry…"
"Sirius, please," the Headmaster insisted, "If he is still alive after all this time, then another day will hardly make another difference. Now go to sleep. I'll take care of everything."
Reluctantly, Sirius lay back down and tried not to look too upset. He knew that Dumbledore was trying his hardest to find his godson, but it did not seem to be enough. A day could mean the difference between life and death.
* * *
"Now, about the Imperius Curse we've been discussing," Javen's soft voice filled Harry's ears and mind. He seemed desperate to get this lesson across. "Have you ever performed it?"
"No, Father. It's one of the Unforgivable Curses, isn't it?"
"Only if performed for evil. Have you ever experienced it? Can you fight it?"
"Yeah, I can fight it. I had practice with… a teacher in my 4th year."
"That's good. I was hoping we could advance to the next level quickly. See that lizard over there? Watch it. Imperio!"
As Harry watched, the lizard began doing flips and somersaults by the lake. Javen didn't hide what he was doing from Harry like with the Irish representative. He wanted to teach the boy how to perform this spell and needed the boy totally aware. Then he felt the lizard's control being placed into his own mind. Javen turned to him.
"Now you try."
Harry didn't know about this. He was told these Curses were among the Unforgivable, enough to earn a life sentence in Azkaban if used improperly. But if Javen said it was all right…
'Don't be afraid,' he coaxed the lizard's frantic mind, 'Do you think you could do something for me?'
He watched with satisfaction as the lizard broke into a tap dance. Seeing Javen was pleased, he let the lizard go and watched it scurry away.
"You have a very well developed mind to control it so well," Javen praised, "But you gave it too much opportunity to refuse. You cannot ask. You must demand. The Imperius Curse leaves no room for questioning."
"Yes, Father." Harry's feeling of 'wrongness' came back to him, and he had a harder time to drive it away. Javen knew what he was doing… he had to. He was all Harry had to learn from until Hogwarts.
"I have so much to show you, son. Things that you would have never been taught by those soft professors. And you could do so well, you have the power to do it." Javen stated rather than informed him. Then he turned to the boy, appraising him like a broomstick. "But I wonder if you are ready."
"I'll do what I can to learn quickly, Father," Harry answered. He had learned quickly what kind of answers to give to these cryptic questions.
"Right then. Come with me." Together, they walked down to the water's edge. In the distance, Harry could make out some mermaids sunning themselves on a rock while a merman played a lyre made of a turtle shell.
"It is easy to control little mindless creatures like lizards," said Javen, "But it is harder to use the Imperius on sentient beings. And the further away you are from the being, the harder it is for the spell to stick. Do you understand?"
Harry nodded. He had gone over all this with 'Moody' last year when he first introduced the Unforgivable Curses to the Gryffindors. He could tell Javen was going somewhere with this and he almost didn't want to know what. It dwelled too closely to the Dark Arts for his liking.
"I want you to make the merman change its tune," Javen continued as though not hearing Harry's thoughts, which would have been impossible with the connection he forced the boy to have.
Harry stared at him. Did he actually want him to perform this for no reason other than for practice? It was illegal.
"Come now, Harry," said Javen, growing serious, "I'm waiting. It's not for 'no reason'. And he'll never know if you perform it correctly. That's the beauty of it all. He'll think it's his own thought. And you need to know this in case you find yourself in trouble. You don't want to be caught unprepared. Not like you were caught in the graveyard." He used one of the boy's greatest regrets against him with ease.
Images of the Cedric's body and then the steel ribbing invaded Harry's thoughts and he immediately brought out his wand. It sounded so harmless; it was just a tune. And surely Javen wouldn't order him to do something that was wrong…
"Imperio!" He could feel the merman's mind next to his, but he couldn't find a way to suggest the change of tune without totally taking the merman hostage. And he had no intention of doing that. He wasn't strong enough to suggest without overpowering. Perspiration rolled down his brow and his wand hand shook slightly with the effort, but the merman played on, unchanged.
"I can't," he panted, releasing the curse from his wand. The merman's mind was too strong to control. "It's too strong."
"I know," Javen said, "You can't do it like that. All control or no control. There is no in-between. Watch me, now. Imperio!"
He was careful to show Harry how it was done like with the lizard. He showed Harry how to carefully make your way into the mind and take total control of the being. He was very good at it. Within seconds, he had complete control over the merman. And the poor creature never even knew what was happening to it.
Harry stared in horror at what Javen was doing. This could not be right! He could see now why the curse was called unforgivable. The merman didn't even notice the total invasion of his mind; he had no control of what was happening. Suddenly, the tune changed and he was flopping around in the water like he was possessed. The other mermaids stared at him, wondering what had happened. Some of them dove below, too unnerved by the sudden change in their friend. Others sat back, amused at the merman who seemed to have lost his mind.
Javen was grinning with excitement and was obviously thoroughly enjoying himself. It was a comical sight to watch the dancing merman, but Harry was not laughing nor amused in the slightest. His eyes were wider than a house elf's and his jaw was open in horror. How could Javen do this?! He continued to watch in growing fright as the merman's mind finally realized that it had no control over its body. It grew frightened and angry, frantically lashing out at the phantom captor of its mind, but unable to do more than amuse Javen the more. Finally, the elder wizard grew bored with the stupid creature. He wanted to see the boy's famed power at work.
"Now you try," Javen said lightly turning to Harry eagerly only to find the boy stepping back from him up the bank.
"No!" Harry backed up some more without meaning to. Asking a lizard to do a few tricks was one thing, but this was something he knew never to copy. The merman's muted cries rang in his mind as control was turned over to him. The poor being was let go by the boy immediately. His eyes never left Javen's, though he relaxed somewhat to hear the splash of the merman as it dove to safety in the depths where no wizard could harm it. "It's not right, Father! I cannot do this! Especially not to cause harm."
He knew he should not lecture Javen, knew he was in for a harsh punishment for preaching to him. But he couldn't stand by and let this go quietly. It went against everything he had ever been taught. By every good instructor he ever had. Snape wouldn't have gone so far as to pretend the Imperius was harmless. "The merman was so scared, couldn't you hear him screaming? This goes against everything I was ever taught, Father. I can't do it." He felt incredibly sorry for any damage that had been done to the merman. But he knew the moment he had crossed the line with Javen, and he knew he was about to become even sorrier.
"You speak like those old professors at Hogwarts. But I am the teacher now. I can help you use your power that they would never let you try. All you have to do is allow yourself to do so. Now do as I say." He let his words carry into Harry's mind like he did with the Irish representative. But Harry had opened his eyes to what Javen was doing this time. What he had been doing all along. And he would not be taken captive like that innocent merman.
"It's not right, Father!" cried Harry, "Don't make me do this. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did."
"You think that you know the difference between right and wrong just because you are the Boy Who Lived?" Javen's voice rose dangerously. He would not tolerate the same lectures from this boy that he had to endure from his teachers and the Ministry for so long. "You walk a dangerous line, Harry."
"No, Father," Harry said softly but clearly and full of strength he didn't think he had, "You do."
Javen struck him so hard that Harry was knocked onto his back gasping for stolen breath. "This is your last chance, Harry. Obey me now, or you will be very sorry."
Harry felt himself fill with fear of what Javen's words implied, but was left with no real options. He was already very sorry. Sorry for not seeing Javen for what he was sooner. He could not do this. He could be wrong, it wouldn't be the first time, and his mind was so confused, it was so hard to think straight. Javen's thoughts were so mixed in with his, that he could hardly tell if his thoughts were really his own. But what he did know was that if he went against what his conscience told him, then he would lose all sense of self. And that was worth all the beating Javen could give him. All the beating Javen would give him.
"No," Harry could barely speak through the tremendous pain Javen sent through his mind. When he tried to rise, the pain only increased and he was forced to his knees again. Further thought became totally impossible for Harry at this point.
"Fine," snapped Javen, "Then I will teach you the hard way since you refuse to learn on your own."
He grabbed Harry's arm and ripped the boy's wand from his grasp. Dragging him to their shack, he threw him against the wall. He sent a continuous wave of pain and commands throughout Harry's mind as he beat him, forcing the boy to the ground, paralyzing him with pain.
Harry didn't even try to fight back. Javen had been controlling him too long to force the man from his mind at once. He wasn't even sure if this was something he should fight. He was too used to believing that he deserved what he got to try to escape this. The familiar taste of blood filled his mouth and he closed his eyes with resignation. He was gasping for breath and hardly noticed when Javen summoned the flexi-steel ribbing.
Hours later, he found himself locked inside a closet. It reminded himself of the closet underneath the stairs in Privet Drive. The closet he had been rescued from. He silently pleaded to whatever deity may be listening to help him. He was drowning in despair and sorrow, unable to breach the surface. Everything hurt. His mind, body and spirit were all in agony. Javen had made it so that Harry barely knew who he was anymore. Which thoughts were his and which were his 'Father's'.
'I am your father and you will obey me!' Javen's words pounded into his head for hours on end with no sign of stopping. It was impossible to form any coherent thought that Harry desperately needed to get his mind in order. He leaned his aching head against the closet door. After beating him, Javen had ordered him to remain in the closet, so remain he did. His mind was tearing itself apart. One part told him that he had brought it upon himself; that it was because of his lack of obedience and discipline that he was there. The other half told him that Javen had no right to do this to him. Or did he? He was so confused! It would be no large thing to use a bit of magic to open the closet without his wand. Alohomora was an elementary spell and he hardly needed the catalyst of the wand for it anymore. But did he have the right to?
He curled up with his knees drawn to his chest and let some stray tears run down his bloody and bruised cheeks. If only Sirius had not died…
End Part 6
Review time!
Calimora: Here it is, I'm sorry for the wait!
Lady Arwen of Rivendell: That's it, I'm officially starting an 'I hate Javen' club. Yeah he's a sick twisted guy, but I still have a place for him in my heart. He's a victim too as you'll find out later. Besides, he's a bad guy we love to hate! Yeah, I usually envision Draco as a kid who's more confused than anything. He's not an angel by any means, but he also doesn't know what he's getting into. And Snape? Some people said that I made him too bad, but in the 3rd book, he was plenty ready to turn in innocent people (Remus and Sirius) so I don't think leaving him chained up is really beyond him. I think eventually, he'll think he got whatever satisfaction he wanted and finally let it slip to Dumbledore, but he just never got the chance. No, Voldie and the DE's don't know. Javen set it up very carefully. Yeah, Remus and Sirius will be seen extensively in this story ^_^ enjoy! I'll give them a big hug for you doncha worry.
Someone Reading: Harmless? Pfft! Uh-huh sure. And Sirius on a sugar high is harmless too. Don't worry, darkphoenix is behaving herself ^_^ Well how is he supposed to know Harry was alright? If there's a killing curse, and the house is destroyed, and voldie is in a reeeeally good mood, and Sirius is also missing, then what else can he assume? C'mon, in the 3rd book, Snape was ready to let Remus and Sirus both get the Kiss even when he knew what happened. Do you think he'd let Sirius out of there for nothing? He'll let him sweat it out a bit and then he'll let him out. Now, don't kill me, but Harry is gonna get it a lot worse than just that hanging over him. The sequel's pretty angsty too. I really need to stop with all the depression stuff. Thank you and I hope you enjoy this chapter!
Lily Skylo: Hehehe, now Lady Arwen of Rivendell is getting bloodthirsty. Soon I'm going to have a raging torch-throwing mob after me! Thanks for the encouragement and you'll get your answers soon!
Misspanther: I sent you an e-mail after reading this review, is it still not working?
Siri Kat: I will and here it is!