A/N:  I know the recent chapters have been kind've heavy in the drama and angst department, so the next couple will focus on the Christmas Holidays, and will hopefully be a bit lighter for the most part – but don't expect things to stay that way for too long.  Enjoy!

CHAPTER NINETEEN:  Home for the Holidays

        Snow had been falling since dawn, making the train ride back to platform nine and three quarters all the more enjoyable.  With the winter holidays just having started, it felt more like Christmas at that moment then the entire month of December at Hogwarts.  Enchanted decorations and Christmas trees couldn't compare at that moment to the feeling of going home for an entire two-week break.  The cheerful moods of students scurrying to find their luggage and families was contagious.  Even Harry, who had been an avid grinch since the start of the holiday season, found it hard to stay in a dark mood with everything going on around him.  It would be the first time he would get to celebrate Christmas with Sirius.  Since fifth year he had been spending the holidays with the Weasley's, and as much as he enjoyed his time there, he was looking forward to spending his first Christmas morning with his godfather, the only member of his family he had left.

        "Oi!  Do you think you packed enough?"  Ron remarked, carrying Hermione's trunk out onto the platform.  "The holidays are only two weeks, not two months."

        "I only packed essentials," she said to him.

        "If I open this and find out 'essentials' are really a bunch of musty old books that are giving me a hernia, you're dragging your own trunk back here in January."

        "If I recall correctly, you were the one who insisted that I let you carry my luggage," she said, smiling sweetly at him.

        Ron's face reddened slightly.  "Yeah, well, that was, um in the heat of the moment," he said, scratching the back of his head with his free hand.

        Harry tried to mask his laughter by turning it into a cough, but Ron wasn't fooled by it.

        "Keep laughing, Harry, and I'll make you carry all her things at the end of the school year."

        Harry's laughter came to an immediate halt.  He did not want to find out if that threat was valid

        "Harry might have to help you anyways," said Hermione, wearing a wry grin.  "Think of all the books I'd be bringing home then."

        Both Ron and he groaned at that statement.

        "As much as I love Hogwarts," Hermione began, stepping between them and linking her arms through both of theirs, "It's a nice change to come home for awhile."

        "Because there's nothing more exciting then studying in a different place," said Ron, his voice completely serious.

        Harry and Ron shared a chuckle, while Hermione swatted at his arm.  That small display was the closest they had come to an argument in recent weeks.  Harry assumed they had toned down on their rows for his sake.  It was odd to see them not challenging one another or at each other's throats over things normal people would simply ignore.  It showed him a deeper level of their relationship that he had always figured existed, but didn't think they would ever show.  He'd had comments from other Gryffindors – and even other houses – wanting to know if he had put some sort of spell on them.  However indirectly he had caused this change in behaviour, he was secretly glad about it.

        "Harry!"

        Turning, Harry saw Sirius jogging towards them, grinning like a madman.  Before Harry even had a chance to process his appearance, his godfather's arms were around him, enfolding him in a huge bear hug.

        "Sirius, oxygen is starting to become an issue," Harry said, still locked in his godfather's embrace.

        Sirius immediately let go.  Still grinning, he tousled Harry's hair.  "I was starting to wonder if you had decided to stay in that drafty castle instead of with me."

        "The weather slowed things down a bit," Hermione spoke up.

        "Where are my manners?  It's good to see you and Ron again," Sirius said, hugging Hermione and shaking Ron's hand.  Afterwards, he regarded them both curiously.  "You two seem different somehow."

        Ron and Hermione gave embarrassed smiles, but Harry was the one who spoke.  "I think they're on a strike from rowing."

        "Has anyone placed bets on how long this is going to last?"  Sirius teased.

        "Sirius!"  Hermione exclaimed in mock indignation.

        Sirius merely shrugged his shoulders in an innocent gesture.  "Better say your goodbye's now Harry, or we'll miss the start of the match."

        Harry had almost forgotten Sirius had got tickets to the Puddlemere against Wimbourne Wasps match.  All Puddlemere needed was a thirty point win to move back into second place in the Quidditch champions league.  Sirius had also gotten a hold of tickets to a Chudley Cannons game on Christmas Eve.  Ron had talked about nothing else for days after when Harry had invited him to come to the game.

        "Have a good time, mate," Ron said to him, "and don't forget you're coming by The Burrow after to relay every detail to me.  Doesn't matter what time it is."

        They shook hands, too embarrassed to hug in front of a train station full of people.  Unlike the two of them, Hermione wasn't afraid to display her emotions.  She hugged Harry tightly, and it didn't feel like a simple good bye at all.

        "I'll see you tomorrow, you know," he said, a little surprised at how strong her grip was.  It must have been all the training since September.

        "I know," she said, easing up.  "Enjoy the match."

        When the final goodbyes were out of the way, Sirius and Harry departed.

Now, Christmas vacation could officially start.

        Harry had learned over the years that every Quidditch match – including the friendly ones – were a fierce battle right to the end.  The fans treated it the same way.  They were loud and shouted things that Harry was sure would have given Mrs. Weasley a stroke had she ever come to one. 

        When he and Sirius found their seats (high up and near the visiting teams' defensive end), the stadium was near capacity, with the last few fans scrambling to find their seats before the start of the match.

        "The Wasps haven't beat Puddlemere at home in three years," said Sirius, cracking open his butterbeer.

        Harry opened his own butterbeer, saying, "but the Wasps are on a winning streak right now.  They rolled over the Tornados last week, and Puddlemere hasn't been doing all that great since Oliver Wood got injured."

        "Did you want to grab some dinner after the match?  We could try that new place over on Sutton before you go to Ron's."

        "I thought I might unpack a bit first."

        "We could go after you unpack," Sirius suggested.

        Harry regarded his godfather suspiciously.  "I'm starting to think that between you and my friends I won't get a minute alone these holidays."

        "It's just that you won't be home again 'til summer holidays.  You should try and have a good time with your friends."

        Harry knew that wasn't it at all – and he called Sirius on it.  "That's not the real reason, Sirius, and you know it."

        "Well, I'm sorry if I don't want to see you spend the next two weeks sulking around, feeling sorry for yourself."

        Harry frowned into his butterbeer.  "That's not funny."

        "It wasn't meant to be.  I know these past couple of months have been rough for you – and it won't get any easier when you go back – but that doesn't mean you lock yourself in a room and stop living." 

        "Sirius – "

        "I didn't plan on having this conversation here, but now seems to be as good a time as any," he went on.  "You're miserable and depressed and it's time you stopped punishing yourself for things that are beyond your control.  I think you should talk to someone."

        Harry almost laughed.  "Are you serious?  You want me to talk to a shrink?"

        "I thought it might be easier for you to confide in someone who doesn't know you.  You won't even talk about what happened with Ginny– "

        Harry held up a hand to stop him.  "Because there's nothing to say," he cut in, growing irritated.  "I hurt her, she hurt me, and it's over now.  I wish everyone would just let it go already.  It was a mistake I don't plan on making again."

        "This entire bravado attitude of yours sucks, Harry.  It really does," Sirius commented, shaking his head.

        "I won't go," Harry stated firmly, and his tone told his godfather there was no room for discussion on the matter.

        "And I can't make you.  I just wanted to make you aware of your options."

        At that moment the announcer came on, introducing the starting lineup for the Wasps.  There were some cheers and boos from the stands, but the reaction was nothing compared to the roaring applause and whistling when Puddlemere flew out on the brooms and were introduced.  Harry was almost certain Oliver would be somewhere in the stands, cheering his team on.

By the time the match started, he wasn't speaking to Sirius and had lost most of his interest in the game going on in front of him.  Only hours before he had been so eager to spend a whole two weeks with his godfather, but now that he knew Sirius thought he needed counseling, the end of Christmas holidays couldn't come fast enough for Harry.

        "What do you think?"

        "It's nice enough," Harry observed, looking around the flat.  Nice was an understatement, really.  The floors were covered with carpet and the kitchen already had the appliances in it.  All in all it was a pretty decent-sized space for one or two people.  "But since when did you decide to move out of the Burrow?"

        "I'm not moving out yet," Ron corrected his friend.  "But I figured since we'll be done Hogwarts this year, I should start looking for a place.  Fred and George will be moving out in a few months, and I really don't want to be stuck there anymore."

        Harry stopped himself just short of saying Ginny would still be there.  She still had one year at Hogwarts left.

        "The kitchen's a bit small," Hermione commented, coming back out into the living room where the two boys were.

        "It's not like I'm going to be spending much time in there anyways," he said, slipping an arm around her waist.

        "Does the owner know you wouldn't be moving in until the summer?" Harry asked him.

        "She's willing to hold it if we put a deposit down."

        "We?"

        "Obviously.  There's no way I could afford a place like this on my own."

Harry suddenly felt rather stupid.  How naïve he had been.  He thought Ron had brought him and Hermione along to show them the flat he wanted to rent out, but he was really moving in with Hermione, and they wanted his opinion.  "I think you'll both be really happy here."

Hermione and Ron exchanged looks before turning back to Harry.

"Harry, I'm not moving in with Ron," Hermione said, a smile tugging at her lips.  "I don't think we're ready for that yet."

He was very confused.  "Then – so you want me to be your roommate?"

"Of course, you daft git!  I thought since we've shared the same room for the last seven years, it would be obvious.  I mean you don't snore, you're relatively clean – do I need to go on?"

Harry stood there in stunned silence.  "Wow, Ron… I really don't know what to say."

"I hope it's yes because I kind've already told the land lady we'd take the place," Ron said, grinning sheepishly.  "We just have to sign the lease to make it official."  

        Ron was grinning from ear to ear, and Harry couldn't help but follow suit.  "I guess you're stuck with me as a roommate for a little longer,"

        "This is going to be great, Harry," said Ron, slapping his friend on the shoulder with enthusiasm.  "I'll go tell the land lady so she can get the lease papers ready."

        He gave Hermione a quick energetic kiss, which caused Harry to take a sudden interest in the carpet, before he flew out the door.

        "I think that was the best Christmas present you could have given him," Hermione said afterwards.

        Harry gestured to the walls around them.  "Did you know about this?" 

        She gave a small shrug, unable to keep the smile off her face.  "Maybe," she said a little too innocently.

        "It's definitely at a good location," Harry remarked, suddenly overwhelmed with the excitement at the prospect of having his own place.  "We're about a five minute's walk from London – which means Ron can pop in on you when you're hard at work at the ministry."

        "Yeah, at the ministry," she echoed a little less than half-heartedly.

        "Are you still worried you're not going to get the posting you want?  Hermione, I've seen the owls come flying in on a daily basis from the ministry offering every available position – even some that are already filled.  You've got nothing to worry about."

        "I've got everything to worry about."

        "You've already started reviewing for N.E.W.T.S.  You could probably write the examination tomorrow and pass with flying colours."

        "I'm not worried about them."

        That was a relief to hear.  She'd started studying for them ages ago, so there was no reason for her to be panicking.  "What's bothering you then?"

        She looked like she very much wanted to tell him but something was holding her back.  "Hermione, I'm your best friend – and I know I don't always act like it, but you can talk to me about anything.  You know that, right?"

        She nodded, but still refused to say anything.  She looked to be struggling through some sort of inner battle of whether or not to tell him. 

        "Not all the owls have come from the ministry here," she said at last.  "Some have come from outside England."

        That made sense.  He assumed any magical institution with half a brain would be dying to get her to work for them.

        "I applied to some of those out of country institutions," she admitted.  "Back when school started and Ron and I were having that stupid, drawn-out fight, I was so mad at him that I filled out application forms for the ministries in Switzerland, Greece, even Australia – and I sent them in.  I never planned on seriously considering any of them even if they wanted me."

        "But you are considering them, aren't you?"  Harry gently probed.

        "Not seriously, no.  I just have more options now.  I haven't heard back from any of them – and they're just long shots anyways.  I'd never actually leave here for a job."

        "It sounds to me like you've done a bit more than consider the possibility of leaving."

        "Maybe I have, but that doesn't mean I will."

        "Because of Ron?"

        By now, Hermione was looking completely flustered.  "How can I leave him after everything that's happened?  It took us so long to get to where we are now.  I can't justify leaving just for some job."

        "We both know it's not 'some job'.  And the Hermione Granger I know wouldn't give up her dreams and everything she's worked so hard for for anyone.  Even if that person is someone she loves."

        Hermione moved to a sitting position on the floor, leaning against the wall.  "I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

        "Yes, you do," said Harry joining her on the floor.  "You came over here with your mind already made up, and you were hoping I'd talk you out of it – that I'd give you a million reasons why you should stay, but I can't do that.  I don't want you to leave anymore then Ron will, but you have all this talent and potential – don't throw it away.  And don't settle for less than you deserve."

        "I hope you haven't changed your mind, Harry," came Ron's voice from the doorway.  "The contract's been drawn up.  All we have to do is go downstairs and sign.  What's wrong?"  He looked from Harry to Hermione, not knowing what to make of their expressions, but they looked like they had been having an intense conversation before he had walked in.

        "Nothing," Harry said, tearing his gaze away from Hermione and jumping to his feet.  "Hermione's just worried once we move in together we'll forget all about her."

        "That'll never happen," Ron assured her, holding out a hand to help her to her feet.  "You'll probably be here every day, nagging us to clean up after ourselves."

        Usually, Hermione would have come up with some witty retort, but she merely smiled weakly at him, and that told Ron there was definitely something wrong.  He would be sure to ask her about it later when they were alone.

        Harry didn't know how he made it through the signing of the lease or lunch without Ron figuring out he was hiding something from him.  He didn't know how Hermione could keep the act up either.  He hated when people pitied him, but he couldn't help but feel sorry for Ron.  He had no idea the woman he loved since forever was on the verge of considering leaving the country.  As much as it would kill Ron to let her go, Harry hoped he would be able to.