Snape sat quietly through dinner that night, Christmas eve, as the rest of the staff ate and made merry in the staff room. He was not surprised to find Taranis absent, and made some feeble excuse that she was 'unwell'. Admittedly, being in a room full of cheerful people was not at all where he wanted to be, which was alone, in the dark thoughts of his mind, but this was a punishment he must endure.

Christmas time for him was a dreary experience, no family to speak of, it was usually spent alone in his rooms. His body ached for just the sight of Taranis as he finally made his escape.

On Christmas morning Severus awoke to the snow falling softly outside his window, the thought of Taranis building the snow sculpture of him almost brought a smile to his lips, 'isn't he gorgeous' she had said.

Flinging the curtains shut so the dark enveloped him once more, he turned to find two gifts on his bureau. He fingered them gently, whom else could they be from? Picking the first up he ripped the paper off to discover a very old book, 'Recipe of the Sidhe Antitoxin' it read. Good God, he thought, this book must be ancient, it's incredible that she could find such a thing, the sidhe were notorious for hoarding their knowledge. He found a note attached, 'Severus, as I believe I have this memorized by now, I thought it might be useful for you. Happy Christmas -T.'

The next was small, about the size of a ring box, it contained a small glass cube, filled with a misty white substance. He was about to open it when he saw the note, "in this box you will find my trust, my life. Knowledge and understanding can be a painful experience, a burden, so do not open this with haste, but with the friendship I offer."

Severus took the fragile box in his hands and sat down on his bed, staring at it for a long time, wondering if he really wanted to know what it held. Finally he opened the lid and let the mist envelop his mind.

He was standing in a vast field, with a picturesque mountain in front of him. A man and a woman stood there, the man had long blond hair and a determined look on his face, the woman slight and beautiful. They stood together, arms at their sides, and the tell take crackle of energy began to form about them as they slowly raised their hands, palms outward. Severus felt the ground rumble at his feet, wind whipping through the trees and with an enormous thundering noise he saw the mountain before him began to move, break apart and lift. Ye gods! They were sundering the mountain! The power required to do such a thing would be enormous! Severus began to tremble with the implications this held that no mere wizard could perform such a feat.

The slope was soon covered in what looked like mountain dwarves, working quickly putting stones into place where the gaps stood open. An eternity must have passed as he watched the dwarves fashion what could only be the reputed Stormhaven school. As the two began to lower their hands, the ground shook once more as the mountain settled into it's new form, and the two sunk wearily to the grass. A sudden piercing shriek caused him to look up at the massive dragon that suddenly landed near the duo, where it lay and gently covered them with its powerful wing.

The white mist enveloped him once more to find himself in a room once again with the man and the woman. A small child stood at one end, eyes wide with innocence, no more than five, with her long red blond hair, this must be Taranis, he surmised. Her mother was sobbing, "I can't do it Raykir, not to my own child!"

"We have to do it woman, must I remind you it was your mother who demanded it! She will die if she cannot be strong. We must prepare her for what is to come," he said, grabbing her arms and shaking her. "Do you think that I want to do it?! Am I still the monster?" his eyes flashing with rage as he pulled out his wand and aimed it at the girl.

"No," shouted the woman, "there must be some other way, please?"

"Crucio!"

Snape stared in horror as the spell hit the girl, who screamed, eyes wide with shock before she lost consciousness.

The sound of the woman weeping in the back ground faded as the girl reappeared, tears running down her cheeks as she stood stiffly, "Crucio!", her body writhed in agony.

The images began to speed up, "Crucio!. . .Crucio!. . .Crucio!" he saw Taranis begin to age as she was hit repeatedly by the dark spell. Severus felt a wave of nausea as Taranis stood strong, accepting her fate, and over the years the look of innocense faded from her eyes.

He saw a lonely child living in fear and pain, standing determined over a boiling cauldron. He watched with understanding as her slight form hunched its shoulders and repeatedly ran from the taunts of the other children. Over the years, one boy in particular, He noted, was causing most of her pain.

As she aged, she blossomed with her newfound friendship with Colin. Suddenly she changed into a beautiful young woman. He saw the boy who had tormented her before, now accost her and try to kiss her, and the sound of her fist hitting his face rang through his ears.

Flashes of the Cruciatus curse intermingled with her time at the university, her happiness when she played with the band, and the lonely moments spent wandering through the forest, weeping under the trees.

He saw the man again, Barl he imagined, flattering her, flirting with her, apologizing for his acts as a child, his assurance that he was not the boy he used to be. Severus watched their courtship, their kisses, the look of fear and disgust at what she found in his home one day.

The man must not have been there so she entered to look for him, but what she found was a Muggle woman, chained to the wall, beaten, raped and near death.

Barl was there when she turned to leave, "so you've discovered my little secret fetish have you," the evil shone in his eyes as he grabbed her arm, "something you'll learn to tolerate when we're married I hope."

"I'll never marry you! Never! You disgust me, how could you do this, the Ministry will have your head for this, mark my words you'll rot in prison!"

As she pulled out her wand the man was faster, "Expelliarmus!"

"Fine then don't marry me, but you will give me what I want just the same!" he said as he grabbed her and Apparated them to a dark stone room. "Did you really expect no one would find out what you are?" his sinister laugh echoed off the walls, "a fairy grandmother indeed? There are a few who recall the power that your father received on their wedding night, albeit did take a bit of 'persuasion'." He slapped her roughly and blood began to seep from her nose, "will you give me what I desire?"

"Never!" she replied and her body collapsed under the force of his Cruciatus.

Severus was shaking with rage as saw her beaten, her innocence taken with brutal repeated rape. The screams as he ripped and tore her rectum with his phallus, and after his ejaculation, the pleasure he took when using the Cruciatus curse to further her pain. It seemed to go on forever, the crack of the whip across her back until finally the sound of her screams pleased him enough to stop.

Bruised and bloodied her resigned concentration as she accepted the man's proposal of marriage. Tears flowed freely, "you're right Barl, perhaps we should marry after all, I was wrong to deny you."

Taranis responded to his brutal kiss, Severus saw with disgust, and then noticed the small crackles of energy. The man apparently too consumed with his prize to notice, as she pressed his lips to his cheek and upward. When her lips touched his eye, her tongue shot out and, with grim satisfaction, he could smell the burning flesh and hear the scream of rage as the man clutched his face and disappeared.

A small sigh of reprieve sounded from her lips as she lost consciousness, using the last of her energy as her defense.

She awoke in a hospital room, her parents hovering at her side, the woman gently stroking her hair as tears fell down her cheeks.

Taranis's recuperation was slow, withdrawing deeply into herself and often seeking solace in the forest and in her wok as a professor. Much time she spent pouring over her cauldron and writing in a book, the book about Merlin he'd been so angry about.

Unsure how much time had lapsed, together with her parents she wandered the shops one sunny day. Smiling up at her father when suddenly someone screamed, the last thing Taranis saw as she turned was Barl standing there, one eye covered with a patch and his wand pointed at her, and then all was black.

"You must leave child, that bastard is still out there and it is not safe here. I know you don't want to leave, but you must. I have spoken to Dumbledore and he has a post you can take at Hogwarts. You will leave next week . . . "

White swirled around him as the next thing Severus saw was himself, the day they first met in Diagon Alley. He was amazed and shocked to feel her immediate attraction to him, her uncertain longing as she asked him to stay, and the resigned pain at his rejection.

As the mist cleared the potions master found himself in his room once more, an immense sorrow filled his heart and surprise to feel tears swell in his eyes. He stared at the box in his hand, remembered the sweet love she had shared with him, amazed that she could share that with him after what she had endured. That her grandmother was fey had not occurred to him before. It was unheard of for the notoriously solitary creatures to mate with a human, even if it was Merlin himself, and he could only imagine the extent of the powers her parents controlled. The awesome extent of power that would be bestowed upon her and the mate she chose, was something many men would kill for. Indeed he knew many men consumed with a greed for it.

That she would trust him enough to share this with him was overwhelming, touching. There were few who would do so, especially with knowledge that could mean their very life or death.

Snape sat alone the rest of the day, his mind wandering in all different directions as he thought of the gifts she had given him, both the box and her beautiful body. He tried not to consider that she had, perhaps given him her very soul as well.

Taranis came to dinner that night, looking red eyed and tired. She did not meet his eyes as the other staff inquired as to her health, muttering some excuse about missing her family.

Severus followed her as she left, grabbing her arm and forcing her to look at him, suddenly at a loss for words at the depth of emotion he saw there. "We should continue our work professor," he said softly. There were many other things he wanted to say to her, he wanted to hold her in his arms and wipe away the pain from her soul, but he found himself unable to do so, "and, thank you."

Taranis tried to steady her breaking heart as she made her way to the dungeons the next morning, the thought of facing him was unbearable and she wished she'd never agreed to help with the potion at all.

She knew he looked up as she entered, but could not meet his eyes, and so went straight to work on her own.

After several weeks of this, and the students return, the Potions Master could take it no more. He missed her cheery sarcasm, and the time they spent relaxing over wine after they'd finished work.

"Taranis look at me!" he growled.

"No," was the soft reply.

Severus sighed, "why not?"

The woman looked up at him then, with eyes so full of pain they reached into the darkest parts of his very soul. Tears welled up and began to spill from them as she sobbed, "because I will start to cry and I do not want you to console me!" Taranis raged, "and now if you will excuse me, I am going to wallow in self pity."

He stood there in shock as she left, and from his spot by the window, saw her small form run across the lawns in the cold winter sunshine and into the Forbidden forest.

Pacing in much the same mood as she he suddenly remembered the book of poems, and deciding on a bit of self torture, headed for his room.

He opened the book and began to read:

Tears in my eyes

Laughter to cries

Love in my heart

Fear of the dark

Holding to dreams

Living on lies

Cries in the dark

Passion a spark

Tears in my eyes

Laughter a cry

Overcome with rage at the bitter irony, Snape hurled the book at the wall in frustration. Hearing it slam into the wall he noticed a piece of paper flutter to the floor and went to pick it up.

My dearest mother and father, I know you have done much to assure my strength in this life, but I find myself with none left. When I was young, I dreamed of a fairy tale man who would sweep me off my feet, and that we would share a love as strong as yours.

I have become resigned that no one will ever want me for whom I am, but only for my looks or the power they hope to attain. I am so alone and lost that I lack the will to continue this life.

I am sorry I can't be what you had wanted me to be, that I can't fulfill the destiny that Grandmother set upon me.

Know that I love you with all my heart, and that I will not pass in pain.

Forgive me my weakness, Taranis.

Dear gods! What a fool he was to assume that she was so strong, that she was immune to all of the pain she'd had to endure suddenly seemed so absurd. The thought of her ending her life hit him with full force! If she had considered it in the past, what would stop her from finishing it now?

He recalled her tears and her retreat into the solitude fo the forest and was suddenly, very scared.

Running to his office he rummaged through his desk and pulled out the marauders map Dumbledore had entrusted him with. Thankfully she was still there, in the portion of the forest that was covered by the map. Crashing through the doors and across the lawn into the wood, Severus stopped to examine the map once more before he began in her direction. Please don't let me be to late he thought, his heart beating wildly in his chest, he sought her out.

He found her asleep in a small clearing, and was astonished to see two white unicorns, lying protectively on either side. Several other unicorns stepped forward and bared their teeth protectively as he approached.

Severus heaved a sigh of relief and assured of her safety, retreated once more to the solitude of his dungeon.