CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE: How to Deal
"Unfortunately, the binding protection spell surrounding Hogwarts is not one that can be used on a human. It's meant for a stationary, non-living object. It's much easier to protect something that doesn't move. However, Hermione was right in thinking that we could turn the spell around into protecting a human. But it would be untested and we would have no idea of whether it would work until –"
"Until Voldemort tries to kill me." Lupin seemed unable to finish the thought so Harry did it for him.
Lupin gave a short nod, but he was taken aback at how casual Harry sounded. He didn't sound the least bit worried. In fact, he sounded like someone ready to face death.
"There are several strong points – hot spots, if you will – surrounding the perimeter of the school grounds. They act as conductors for keeping the current and all past protection spells running. If we have one person standing in each of those spots, it should act as a pathway to channel the protection spell back to you. The spell needs some magical force that already exists in order to bind everyone's energy to yours. Hogwarts is naturally magical that's why the protection spell works. For you, Harry, your scar is the key. Because of the powerful magical energy it gives off, it will act as the link between you and everyone involved."
"Is there any danger to the people participating?"
"I don't know, Harry," Lupin answered truthfully. "The danger is most likely minimal, but this has never been done before. We'll take every necessary precaution but it would be impossible to cover all the risks."
Those words were not exactly comforting to Harry. Even with minimal danger he disliked the idea, but the possibility of more damaging results was unacceptable to him. "Maybe we should keep looking."
"Harry," Lupin began patiently, "the chances of us finding another spell in time are extremely small, I understand you don't want to endanger anyone's life, but this is the only option we have."
Harry sat there, contemplating his professor's words, knowing that Lupin was right, but still wishing there was another alternative. "How many people will we have to involve?"
"Five," Lupin replied, "with you in the middle, anchoring everyone together."
Five seemed like too many to Harry. He would have much rather performed the spell on himself, but Lupin had already told him that would not work. It wouldn't be strong enough.
"The spell will be much stronger with people who already have a bond with you," Lupin explained. "I took the liberty of speaking with Hermione the day before she entered the hospital wing. She knows the risks, Harry, and she wants to be a part of it. As do Ron and Ginny."
Harry didn't know what was more shocking, the fact that Lupin had secretly asked the people he cared about most to participate, or the fact that Ron and Ginny had agreed to it after everything that had happened.
"I will of course take part as well," Lupin continued. "That just leaves one other person."
Harry didn't have the words to express his gratitude to his teacher, but Lupin didn't seem to be expecting any. Up until three days ago he would have said without thinking who the fifth person should be, but now he wanted nothing more then to never see that person again.
"I could get in touch with Sirius if you like," Lupin suggested.
Harry was unable to restrain the anger he was feeling. "What for?"
"Harry, I do not defend Sirius' actions. He was wrong and he should not have interfered with your relationship with Ginny Weasley. I told him that when he came here yesterday wanting to see you. I managed to convince him it was too soon to see you, but he won't stay away forever, no matter what you said to him. He's your family, Harry."
"I don't have any family," he said coldly. "Professor, I did fine on my own before Sirius and I'll be fine again without him. We can do this spell without him."
"We could, but it wouldn't be as strong. Harry, Sirius loves you as if you were his own son, and that strength alone would be greater then any other person we could bring into this."
Harry's mind drifted to Dumbledore. If he was still alive he would have volunteered to be a part of this. He might have even discovered a better plan of action. But Dumbledore was gone and this was all they had.
"The choice ultimately has to be yours," Lupin was saying to him. "But please consider what I have said."
"Can I go now, Professor?" Harry asked, impatient to get out of there.
Even if Lupin had said no Harry didn't think he would have stuck around. He didn't want to be fed a guilt trip about Sirius. He reflected back on what he had said to his godfather about rotting in Azkaban, and it seemed harsh even considering the circumstances it was said under, but Harry wasn't about to take it back. He would have been perfectly fine never speaking to Sirius again, and now Lupin was telling him he needed to make amends. Despite everything that was at stake, Harry wasn't sure if he would be able to do that.
The entire walk back to Gryffindor Tower, Harry's brain was in overdrive. He was wracking it for a solution – or even an alternative – to having to forgive Sirius. He didn't even want to talk to the man, how was he supposed to patch things up? Then again, Lupin had not said anything about having to forgive Sirius. Would the spell still work then? He was stuck on that particular thought when he stepped through the portrait hole and into the common room.
Even with the late hour, the room was still full of students with the end of the year examinations – particularly the OWL's and NEWTS – for the fifth and seventh years so close. Harry, who had not cracked a book in days, felt slightly panicked at seeing every one else with their nose buried in one. There was one Gryffindor in particular who had stopped studying the second Harry walked through the portrait hole. Ginny was staring at him, her expression carefully guarded, so he couldn't tell whether or not she was angry to see him. She refused all attempts he made to communicate with her. The only time she spoke to him was to give him updates on Hermione's condition, which continued to improve, but she was still unconscious. Without actually coming out and saying it, Harry had gathered the longer Hermione remained in that unconscious state, the more likely it became that she would never wake up.
She took an extraordinary amount of time in closing up one of her books before standing up and walking over to him. She had never been the one to approach him since the diary incident, leading Harry to the conclusion that maybe she was finally ready to talk. He would apologize over and over for reading her diary and somehow she would find a way to forgive him.
"Ginny, I – "
"Hermione's awake," she interrupted him. "I thought you'd like to know."
"That – that's fantastic," he said, thought with not with nearly enough enthusiasm as he should have. It seemed that was all she had to say to him, for she went back to her study area and did not look up from her notes once.
He wanted to get to the hospital wing and see Hermione, but he needed to say a few more things to her.
"Lupin said you agreed to be part of the protection spell," he said to her.
She purposely ignored looking at him. "It doesn't change anything, Harry."
She was still extremely hacked off at him, he could tell that much, and instead of pushing the matter further, he left the common room altogether. If she had agreed to be part of the protection spell even without forgiving him, then he could get Lupin to bring Sirius in and do the exact same thing.
He knew it was well after visiting hours, but he was sure given the situation Madame Pomfrey would not mind him coming by. He ran most of the way, feeling much more excited now then when Ginny had first given him the news. He came to an abrupt halt outside in the visiting room. He could hear Ron's voice inside – he sounded very serious. Then he heard Hermione's voice and thought they might be in the process of working things out. He didn't really want to go barging in there, and he knew he shouldn't stand out there and listen to them either, but he couldn't help himself. If they were working things out, then maybe there was still a chance to repair has badly damaged friendship with Ron.
Ron wondered how he could be in the same room with someone who knew him inside and out, and yet still struggle for things to talk about. They had already exhausted the subject of school, and were currently talking about her parents, but Ron was already wracking his brain for a new topic.
"Madame Pomfrey says they'll be here first thing in the morning," Ron told her. "They've been worried sick. McGongall didn't want to risk bringing them out of where they were staying until she had any changes to report to them. My dad and some members from the Magical Law Enforcement Squad are taking every precaution to make sure they get here safely."
Like she had since Ron had started talking to her, Hermione lied there, listening to it all but not saying much in return.
"Everyone's been asking about you," he said. "I think they miss having the Head Girl bossing them around, making sure they're all studying." He reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. "I know I've missed it."
She forced herself to stare back at him, but said nothing.
"It's killed me to be apart from you, and I know how awful I was to you, but I really want things to work out for us. I should have known then that there was nothing between you and Harry. You were right, I should have trusted you. I just panicked when you said you were going to Switzerland and I picked a fight wherever I could. I'm sorry for everything, and you have every right to still be angry with me, but I don't want us to be apart anymore. If you still want to leave, we'll figure something out. Once we get our apparation licenses we could see each other every weekend if we wanted to."
He had spoke so fast he hoped she had understood every word of it because he didn't think he could say it all again. She was very quiet, and he didn't know if he should take that as a good sign or not.
"Ron, I can't," she said in a choked voice.
"You can't want?" He said, his own voice starting to croak.
"I can't do this. We can say sorry all we want, but neither one of us is just going to forget everything that's happened. You said it killed you for us to be apart, well it tore me apart that you would even consider for a second that I wanted to be with someone other then you."
"What was I supposed to think?" Ron said, failing to keep the accusatory tone out of his voice. " You told Harry about this entire new life you were going to have, and I had no idea it even existed."
"I told Harry because I knew he was the one person who wouldn't make me feel guilty about leaving."
"I can't help it if I'd want you to stay, but I wouldn't try and use that against you."
"Yes, you would, Ron," she said without hesitation.
His silence was all the answer she needed.
"I love you, Ron. But no matter how much I love you, it's not going to fix our problems. I don't forgive you for the things you said, and I know you don't forgive me for trusting Harry over you – for telling him about Switzerland and going to him for extra defense lessons. I think it's best if we're apart right now," she said, choking out the last part as she was crying freely now.
There were silent tears rolling down Ron's face, but he made no move to wipe them away. That's when she rolled onto her side, so she wouldn't see his face anymore. She didn't trust herself to follow through on the words she had spoken. He tried several times to get her to talk to him, but she resisted his attempts. When she heard his retreating footsteps and was sure he was gone, she cried harder.
"Mr. Potter, you shouldn't be skulking around the halls at this hour! Either come in and visit or return to your tower."
Hearing the Hogwarts Matron's disgruntled tone, Hermione quickly wiped at her eyes. There were several failed attempts before she was finally able to compose herself enough that she wouldn't break down in front of Harry. She silently hoped he wouldn't stay long because she didn't think she would be able to hold herself together for very long. She thought of Ron and the silent tears falling down his face and she was just able to catch herself before she lost it again.
"I promise not to ask how you're feeling since you've probably already been asked it a hundred times," Harry said, standing close by.
She chuckled and sniffled a bit. She wondered how much of a wreck she looked. "I bet I look quite frightful," she said, making a futile effort to pat down her hair wild hair.
"No, you look good," Harry said tentatively, sitting on the side of her bed. He wanted to say something about what he had heard standing in the hallway, but he didn't know what. He wanted to comfort her and tell her it would be all right, but he didn't know how to do that. She had been there for him so many times in the past, he wanted to be able to do the same for her now.
"I must be so behind with my schoolwork," was all she could think of to say.
"Nah, we've mostly been spending every class revising. Don't worry I made sure to take legible notes so you could copy them." Looking down at her sheets, he said, "I'm really – "
"You know how you promised not to ask me how I'm feeling? Can you add to that list not to apologize for things that aren't your fault?"
He wanted to disagree with her, and argue that he was to blame, but she'd already been through enough that he just nodded.
"How is the protection spell coming along?"
"Hermione, that's the last thing you should be worrying about. You should be concentrating on getting better."
"I am, but this spell is too important for me to just forget about."
"Maybe you shouldn't – "
"If you're thinking of telling me I shouldn't be a part of it, you're mad, Harry. Because I know you would do the same for me, so would Ron." Her voice faltered after saying his name, but she took a steadying breath and continued. "You can't keep us out of this. I did the research remember? I know that the spell has a much better chance of succeeding if the people involved are emotionally attached to you."
He didn't have the words to convey the emotions flowing through him, even if he did he wasn't sure he'd be able to say them. He settled for gripping her hand in his instead, and she understood the gesture.
"I'm really glad you're all right," he said, his voice tight with emotion. "I'm sorry."
"You promised you wouldn't apologize," she said, wiping at her eyes. When had she turned into such an emotional train wreck?
"I wasn't talking about what happened with Malfoy."
That was all it took for her to realize she didn't have to hold herself together any longer in front of him. She sat up and hugged him tightly. Harry didn't know what to do except hug her back as she buried her face against his shoulder. He didn't mind at all that she was making his shirt wet with her tears.