Authors Intro: Welcome one and all! Anyway, this would be my
second fanfic, and wouldn't ya know it, it's another parody. This is of course another Teen Titans fic, and this time it's a parody of the celebrity jeopardy skits from Saturday Night Live, which I personally think have been one of the best things to come out of SNL. This is unfortunately a bit higher rated due to its content, but it's still pretty funny. This parody features Cyborg taking the basic role of Sean Connery, Beast Boy doing Burt Reynolds, and Starfire doing no one in particular. Well anyway I hope you all enjoy it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans or SNL, although it would
be friggin' sweet if I did
***************************************************************
Alex: (Screen opens up to Jeopardy scene) Welcome back to
a special Teen Titans edition of Celebrity Jeopardy. Just when
I thought the standards of this show couldn't get any lower, the
filthy, money-grubbing producers of this show spring this up on
me in order to appeal to what they call a "more cost effective
audience." That being said lets take a look at the scores.
(Screen moves to Cyborg) Cyborg is in the lead with -$3,200.
Cyborg: I am the ultimate MacDaddy!
Alex: Wonderful...in second place with -$4000 dollars we have
Beast Boy.
Beast Boy: Heh heh...hey uh check out my podium.
Alex: (Beast Boys podium has Dick Cockerman written on it)
Apparently Beast Boy has changed his name to "Dick Cockerman."
Beast Boy: Heh heh yeh uh...yeh Dick Cockerman it's a funny name.
Alex: Great, and finally in last place we have
Starfire...(Starfire is moving her head around as if looking at
something)...who is staring into space like an idiot.
Starfire: (Suddenly snaps out of her trance and presses her
buzzer) I will venture a guess at towel.
Alex: We haven't started yet.
Starfire: Oh, I am sorry, what is towel.
Alex: Unbelievable...anyway you all have a negative amount of
money, so better luck to all of you in the next round.
Cyborg: I'll be damned if I'm paying you anything Trebek.
Alex: Rest assured Cyborg that you are playing for charity; it's
not your money. Anyway, it's time for double jeopardy; lets
take a look at the board. And the categories are: "Potent
Potables", "Members of the Teen Titans", "The Number 4",
"Seamen's Crew", that category being about boats, "Just Say
Anything", "Obvious Answers" and finally "Things you Shouldn't
Shove Up your Nose."
Starfire: On my planet, leakage of the nostrils is considered
a delicacy.
Alex: That is nauseating...anyway Starfire you're in last place so
why don't you pick.
Starfire: I will take Glorfar's of the Heckenzon Morbrif for
7,000 Queblog's.
Alex: That's not a category or type of currency, and for the
last time none of the questions on this show have to do with
Tamaran.
Starfire: Oh, then I will take Glorfar's of the Heckenzon
Morbrif for 1,000 Earth dollars, please.
Alex: ...All right, Beast Boy why don't you choose.
Beast Boy: That's not my name.
Alex: All right fine, Dick Cockerman, please pick a category.
Beast Boy: Heh heh heh...yeh okay I'll uh take "the number 4."
Alex: All right, for how much?
Beast Boy: Eh, ah what the hell how about $8 million.
Alex: Lets just do "the number 4" for $200, and might I add that
the answer to every question in this category is 4. Anyway
here's the question: This is what two + two equals. (Cyborg
buzzes in) Cyborg.
Cyborg: Five.
Alex: No. (Beast Boy buzzes in) Beast Boy.
Beast Boy: I told you, that's not my name.
Alex: Fine, whatever, I don't care, just answer.
Beast Boy: Eh What is a billion.
Alex: ...No way in hell. (Starfire buzzes in) Starfire.
Starfire: Well since there are two twos present, and there is
apparently an addition between the two words I will say tutu.
Alex: No! Good god!...The answer was four! (Nobody says anything)
Whatever anyway, Beast Boy it's still your board so pick a
category.
Beast Boy: Eh heh heh heh heh...eh uh no.
Alex: No?
Beast Boy: Yeah, no, I uh pass, eh heh.
Alex: All right then, Cyborg why don't you pick?
Cyborg: Ah very good, I'll take Semen Screw for $800.
Alex: What? (Looks up at Seamen's Crew category) No no it's
Seamen's Crew, not Semen Screw.
Cyborg: Hahahahaha! Oh I can read Trebek, that says Semen
Screw all right, and I figure I got a good chance at it since I
did do it.
Alex: Okay that's...that's enough.
Cyborg: To your mom! Ahahahahaha!
Alex: (Pause) ...Lets just go to "Members of the Teen Titans" for
$400. And the question is: This green member of the Titans has
the ability to change into animals. (Nobody buzzes in) Beast
Boy you may want to answer this. (Starfire buzzes in) Starfire.
Starfire: Who is Raven.
Alex: No. (Beast Boy buzzes in) Thank God, Beast Boy.
Beast Boy ...Eh I uh, I have to say Alex, I think she's right.
Alex: NO! She's not right, and you're not right! This show
isn't right! (Cyborg buzzes in) Cyborg.
Cyborg: (Chuckles meekly)...Semen Screw! Ahahahahahahahahaha!
Alex: (Pauses) All right, why don't we just move on to (Beast
Boy walks over to Alex, carrying a giant novelty comb)...wha...what,
Beast Boy what are you doing?
Beast Boy: Heh heh heh, eh ya like it? I found it backstage,
it's a giant comb, it's funny isn't?
Alex: No its not.
Beast Boy: Heh heh yeah it is, it's funny 'cause it's uh bigger
than ya know a regular comb.
Alex: I can see that, ju...just go back to your podium.
Beast Boy: (Walks back to his podium)...heh heh...you know its
funny.
Alex: No! No I don't. God, what's wrong with all of you?
(Pauses) Whatever, anyway it's time for final jeopardy and the
category is...(Alex begins tearing up card) and you know what,
just write a word, that's your question; write a word. (Jeopardy
music starts to play) It can be any word, any word at all...it can
be a short word...or a long one, I don't care, just write any word
at all. (Jeopardy music ends) All right then, lets see what you
all wrote. (Walks to Starfire's podium) Okay we'll start with
Starfire, and you answered (screen reads "2")...2, the number 2.
Starfire: "To" is a word, is it not?
Alex: Are you Tamaranean or retarded? Anyway, lets see what you
wagered (screen reads "12,000 Queblog's")...12,000
Queblog's...simply amazing.
Starfire: On my planet Queblog's are a type of rock.
Alex: That explains a lot. (Walks to Beast Boy's podium) Anyway
moving on to Beast Boy, lets see what you wrote. And you
answered (screen is blank) nothing, and you wagered (screen is
blank) nothing.
Beast Boy: Eh, I ain't riskin' any more of my money on a stupid
little game.
Alex: Need I remind you Beast Boy, that you are playing for
charity?
Beast Boy: Yeah, well what have poor people done for me anyway?
Alex: You have a very sick mind. (Walks over to Cyborg's podium)
Well, lastly lets see what Cyborg wrote, and you wrote (screen
reads "I")...I, (Pauses) well I'll tell you what, my friend, while
being a letter, "I" is also technically a word, a pronoun if you
may, so we are going to give you credit for that. All right,
lets see how much you wagered for "I" (screen reads "nailed your
mom SO hard)...nailed your mom so hard...Okay.
Cyborg: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Alex: That's...that's great, that's wonderful
Cyborg: And I did too! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Alex: All right, fine, whatever, (looks toward camera) anyway
that's all the time we have, this is Alex Trebek, I've had it,
good night. (screen fades out)
***************************************************************
Authors Note: Well that's it; I hoped you all liked it. I'll probably make another one of this, next time starring Robin, Raven, and the return of Cyborg. As far as future fan fictions, when I make my next one I will actually try to make an original storyline of the Teen Titans and it won't just be a parody of something else. Sorry if you're tired of these parodies, but I'm still new to this whole fan fiction thing, but like I said I'm hoping the next one I do will be an original story and be more serious. Anyway till next time, remember: the sun is for light and heat, not for staring at, Good Night!
second fanfic, and wouldn't ya know it, it's another parody. This is of course another Teen Titans fic, and this time it's a parody of the celebrity jeopardy skits from Saturday Night Live, which I personally think have been one of the best things to come out of SNL. This is unfortunately a bit higher rated due to its content, but it's still pretty funny. This parody features Cyborg taking the basic role of Sean Connery, Beast Boy doing Burt Reynolds, and Starfire doing no one in particular. Well anyway I hope you all enjoy it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans or SNL, although it would
be friggin' sweet if I did
***************************************************************
Alex: (Screen opens up to Jeopardy scene) Welcome back to
a special Teen Titans edition of Celebrity Jeopardy. Just when
I thought the standards of this show couldn't get any lower, the
filthy, money-grubbing producers of this show spring this up on
me in order to appeal to what they call a "more cost effective
audience." That being said lets take a look at the scores.
(Screen moves to Cyborg) Cyborg is in the lead with -$3,200.
Cyborg: I am the ultimate MacDaddy!
Alex: Wonderful...in second place with -$4000 dollars we have
Beast Boy.
Beast Boy: Heh heh...hey uh check out my podium.
Alex: (Beast Boys podium has Dick Cockerman written on it)
Apparently Beast Boy has changed his name to "Dick Cockerman."
Beast Boy: Heh heh yeh uh...yeh Dick Cockerman it's a funny name.
Alex: Great, and finally in last place we have
Starfire...(Starfire is moving her head around as if looking at
something)...who is staring into space like an idiot.
Starfire: (Suddenly snaps out of her trance and presses her
buzzer) I will venture a guess at towel.
Alex: We haven't started yet.
Starfire: Oh, I am sorry, what is towel.
Alex: Unbelievable...anyway you all have a negative amount of
money, so better luck to all of you in the next round.
Cyborg: I'll be damned if I'm paying you anything Trebek.
Alex: Rest assured Cyborg that you are playing for charity; it's
not your money. Anyway, it's time for double jeopardy; lets
take a look at the board. And the categories are: "Potent
Potables", "Members of the Teen Titans", "The Number 4",
"Seamen's Crew", that category being about boats, "Just Say
Anything", "Obvious Answers" and finally "Things you Shouldn't
Shove Up your Nose."
Starfire: On my planet, leakage of the nostrils is considered
a delicacy.
Alex: That is nauseating...anyway Starfire you're in last place so
why don't you pick.
Starfire: I will take Glorfar's of the Heckenzon Morbrif for
7,000 Queblog's.
Alex: That's not a category or type of currency, and for the
last time none of the questions on this show have to do with
Tamaran.
Starfire: Oh, then I will take Glorfar's of the Heckenzon
Morbrif for 1,000 Earth dollars, please.
Alex: ...All right, Beast Boy why don't you choose.
Beast Boy: That's not my name.
Alex: All right fine, Dick Cockerman, please pick a category.
Beast Boy: Heh heh heh...yeh okay I'll uh take "the number 4."
Alex: All right, for how much?
Beast Boy: Eh, ah what the hell how about $8 million.
Alex: Lets just do "the number 4" for $200, and might I add that
the answer to every question in this category is 4. Anyway
here's the question: This is what two + two equals. (Cyborg
buzzes in) Cyborg.
Cyborg: Five.
Alex: No. (Beast Boy buzzes in) Beast Boy.
Beast Boy: I told you, that's not my name.
Alex: Fine, whatever, I don't care, just answer.
Beast Boy: Eh What is a billion.
Alex: ...No way in hell. (Starfire buzzes in) Starfire.
Starfire: Well since there are two twos present, and there is
apparently an addition between the two words I will say tutu.
Alex: No! Good god!...The answer was four! (Nobody says anything)
Whatever anyway, Beast Boy it's still your board so pick a
category.
Beast Boy: Eh heh heh heh heh...eh uh no.
Alex: No?
Beast Boy: Yeah, no, I uh pass, eh heh.
Alex: All right then, Cyborg why don't you pick?
Cyborg: Ah very good, I'll take Semen Screw for $800.
Alex: What? (Looks up at Seamen's Crew category) No no it's
Seamen's Crew, not Semen Screw.
Cyborg: Hahahahaha! Oh I can read Trebek, that says Semen
Screw all right, and I figure I got a good chance at it since I
did do it.
Alex: Okay that's...that's enough.
Cyborg: To your mom! Ahahahahaha!
Alex: (Pause) ...Lets just go to "Members of the Teen Titans" for
$400. And the question is: This green member of the Titans has
the ability to change into animals. (Nobody buzzes in) Beast
Boy you may want to answer this. (Starfire buzzes in) Starfire.
Starfire: Who is Raven.
Alex: No. (Beast Boy buzzes in) Thank God, Beast Boy.
Beast Boy ...Eh I uh, I have to say Alex, I think she's right.
Alex: NO! She's not right, and you're not right! This show
isn't right! (Cyborg buzzes in) Cyborg.
Cyborg: (Chuckles meekly)...Semen Screw! Ahahahahahahahahaha!
Alex: (Pauses) All right, why don't we just move on to (Beast
Boy walks over to Alex, carrying a giant novelty comb)...wha...what,
Beast Boy what are you doing?
Beast Boy: Heh heh heh, eh ya like it? I found it backstage,
it's a giant comb, it's funny isn't?
Alex: No its not.
Beast Boy: Heh heh yeah it is, it's funny 'cause it's uh bigger
than ya know a regular comb.
Alex: I can see that, ju...just go back to your podium.
Beast Boy: (Walks back to his podium)...heh heh...you know its
funny.
Alex: No! No I don't. God, what's wrong with all of you?
(Pauses) Whatever, anyway it's time for final jeopardy and the
category is...(Alex begins tearing up card) and you know what,
just write a word, that's your question; write a word. (Jeopardy
music starts to play) It can be any word, any word at all...it can
be a short word...or a long one, I don't care, just write any word
at all. (Jeopardy music ends) All right then, lets see what you
all wrote. (Walks to Starfire's podium) Okay we'll start with
Starfire, and you answered (screen reads "2")...2, the number 2.
Starfire: "To" is a word, is it not?
Alex: Are you Tamaranean or retarded? Anyway, lets see what you
wagered (screen reads "12,000 Queblog's")...12,000
Queblog's...simply amazing.
Starfire: On my planet Queblog's are a type of rock.
Alex: That explains a lot. (Walks to Beast Boy's podium) Anyway
moving on to Beast Boy, lets see what you wrote. And you
answered (screen is blank) nothing, and you wagered (screen is
blank) nothing.
Beast Boy: Eh, I ain't riskin' any more of my money on a stupid
little game.
Alex: Need I remind you Beast Boy, that you are playing for
charity?
Beast Boy: Yeah, well what have poor people done for me anyway?
Alex: You have a very sick mind. (Walks over to Cyborg's podium)
Well, lastly lets see what Cyborg wrote, and you wrote (screen
reads "I")...I, (Pauses) well I'll tell you what, my friend, while
being a letter, "I" is also technically a word, a pronoun if you
may, so we are going to give you credit for that. All right,
lets see how much you wagered for "I" (screen reads "nailed your
mom SO hard)...nailed your mom so hard...Okay.
Cyborg: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Alex: That's...that's great, that's wonderful
Cyborg: And I did too! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Alex: All right, fine, whatever, (looks toward camera) anyway
that's all the time we have, this is Alex Trebek, I've had it,
good night. (screen fades out)
***************************************************************
Authors Note: Well that's it; I hoped you all liked it. I'll probably make another one of this, next time starring Robin, Raven, and the return of Cyborg. As far as future fan fictions, when I make my next one I will actually try to make an original storyline of the Teen Titans and it won't just be a parody of something else. Sorry if you're tired of these parodies, but I'm still new to this whole fan fiction thing, but like I said I'm hoping the next one I do will be an original story and be more serious. Anyway till next time, remember: the sun is for light and heat, not for staring at, Good Night!