Through His Eyes
By: Waterflash
Chapter 1: Darkness of Day
*Botan's POV*
It's so dark… Dark all around me… Am I dead? More importantly, is Kurama alive? Where am I? I groaned in pain, trying to move. I felt a tingle run down my arms and a splitting headache that made my head throb in agony.
The pain had an icy cold touch. It was torture. Something that burned and froze simultaneously was the worst kind of pain… Until I felt a hot hand gripping mine, relieving me to no end. That little bit of warmth comforted me and made the pain slowly fade away. But it was still dark… I opened my eyes. And I saw nothing. Nothing. I blinked a few times; making sure that it wasn't just a dream. But it was real. I couldn't see anything.
I let out a wild cry. It just hit me out of the blue. [1]
I'm blind.
*Kurama's POV*
I felt another weight being placed on my shoulder, this one the biggest of all.
Botan was hurt.
Her reiki was so faint; I could barely tell she was there.
And it's my fault.
Botan lay upon her bed in her room in Reikai. The blast of Kuronue's ki had almost killed her. She just barely pulled though. If she had died, I would have never forgiven myself.
I sat in a chair next to the bed. She was beginning to regain color in her face. Before, she looked such a pale, sickly white. Uncertainly, I reached over and clutched her cold hand. I massaged her fingers with my thumb, trying to warm them up. She seemed to unconsciously stir.
It was then she opened her eyes. I jumped up in surprise as she cried out.
Oh my god...
"Botan-san! Are you okay?" She began to sob weakly with her eyes wide open. "Botan-san! Nani desu ka?" I scooted closer to her side and gazed into her eyes. They weren't the usual lavender eyes shimmering with happiness. They were dull. They looked so empty. [2]
"Kura...ma..." She whispered roughly. "It's not your... fault..." Tears threatened to fall from my eyes as I watched her cry.
*Botan's POV*
It hurt so bad to know what I couldn't see. But it hurt more because I could sense Kurama's sadness and guilt. He felt that it was his fault that I was blind.
I bit my bottom lip hard to keep myself from crying, but to no avail. "Kurama… Kurama… Kurama…" I tried to steadily repeat his name, failing miserably. He touched his hand to my face.
"I apologize, Botan-san. I'm sorry… For everything…" When Kurama removed his hand, I clutched it tightly.
"Kurama-kun… Didn't I just tell you…? It's not you fault…" I whispered. "It isn't. Just please… Don't leave me alone… In the dark…" I cried softly.
"Hai… Botan-san…"
*Three hours later in Kurama's POV...*"She's blind, that's for sure." I heard Koenma say.
"No shit Sherlock." Yusuke had an evident tone to his voice.
Koenma must have pretended to not have heard that comment and continued. "I don't think she'll ever be able to see again." His solemn gaze was directed at Botan, and he was having difficultly controlling his words.
Botan was awake, her back against the wall. These words had no apparent affect on her, considering that she probably could already tell. Anything inflicted by ki on the Reikai, is permanent. The ki affects the spirit, not the body. And I suspected Botan knew all along.
That is why fighting can be so strenuous on our bodies. And… That is why youkai have short lives... [3]
"I'm sorry Botan... There's nothing I can do..." Koenma whispered. Botan nodded silently, her same emotionless expression remaining.
"Botan, you're blind, yet you haven't cried." Yusuke tried to put it in a way that didn't seem rude, and I suppose it worked.
"...I'm dry of tears." She plainly stated. Her words were so… blank. Just like her eyes… And they set another weight on my shoulders. [4]
"What do you want Botan-san? What do you want us to do? We can leave you alone..." The compassion I felt toward her was phenomenal. Botan gestured for me to come close to her. She reached out to touch my hand and pulled me to her face. Unknowingly she brushed her lips against my face causing my cheeks to heat up. I couldn't believe that I was blushing! What a baka! After she found my ear, she hoarsely whispered. [5]
"If I won't be a burden, can I please stay with you at your home tonight?" She was so hopeful, I don't think I could have denied her if I wanted to.
I immediately agreed by whispering back. "Of course. Anything." I turned back to Yusuke, Kuwabara, Hiei and Koenma and announced to them "Botan-san will stay at my Kasaan's house tonight with me."
"No." Koenma objected. His sudden anger shocked me, but I regained my composure quickly.
"That is what she wants." Botan nodded her head to correspond with what I had said.
"No. Botan must stay in Reikai." Koenma's tone of voice was sharp and commanding.
"Botan-san will come with me. I don't care what you say. I'll do whatever she wants." I snapped, a low growl emanating from my throat. My Youko side was being possessive once again.
"Kurama, how are you going to get her to Shiori's house? Botan can't fly on her oar in this condition, so how do you expect her to get there?" Yusuke asked.
"I have already thought about that and I know I'll be able to." I paused. "What time is it?"
"It's 3." Kuwabara said. Hiei smirked and I sighed as I realized that he was going to say some smart-ass comment that would set Kuwabara off. But amazingly, he said nothing. I had no clue why, but he began to laugh. Botan's expression showed that she thought Hiei had lost his mind, just as we did. I stared oddly at him as he began to run out of breath as his laughing became more hysterical. [6]
"Hiei, it'll be okay buddy. Just breathe…" Yusuke emphasized the last word, dragging it out for a long time. Hiei seemed to calm down and then suddenly stopped. Everyone's face still looked the same, confused and a bit frightened. This ticked Hiei off.
"What in the hell are you all staring at me about? Is there something wrong with my face?" It took Kuwabara all his self-control to keep from saying something he shouldn't. Nobody would respond, in fear of his Kokuryu Ha. "I'm leaving." Hiei stated before disappearing in a flash of black.
"I have to go too. I cancelled a date with Keiko to be here. She's going to kill me." I chuckled lightly. Yusuke is one of the most powerful fighters I have ever met; yet he gets himself worse injuries by his girlfriend slapping him in the face. He walked out of the room, waving by flicking his wrist.
Kuwabara followed, shouting, "HEY, WAIT URAMESHI!"
Koenma spoke carefully, trying to hide the spite in his voice. "I have work to do. Watch over Botan for me." Almost as an afterthought, he added telepathically with as much venom as he could muster. If she comes back hurt worse than she is now, I'll make you suffer. He left as quickly as Hiei.
After a few moments of silence, I finally spoke, glancing at Botan. "Botan, you'll need clothes. What do you want me to get?" I asked, walking over to her closet and dresser. Botan bit her bottom lip.
"Um… Can I get Ayame-chan to get them for me?" She asked nervously, the hint of a blush on her cheeks.
"Doushite?" I asked curiously, quite different from my personality before quickly changing my mind at her embarrassment of something that I couldn't pinpoint. "Nevermind." [7]
"Yes, Botan-chan?" Ayame's voice came from the entrance to the room.
"Could you please get my clothes?" Botan asked kindly.
"Of course." Ayame began to collect Botan's clothes, folding them, and placing them gently into a suitcase. [8]
"Kurama." Botan murmured my name. I don't know if she was speaking to me, or didn't mean for me to notice, so I said nothing. What was different is that she didn't call me 'Kurama-kun' like she usually does.
Ayame seemed to notice also, yet she did the same as me. She finished packing and set the suitcase next to Botan. Ayame paused, staring into Botan's eyes. After a few moments, Botan nodded and Ayame walked away. [9]
I think I'm missing something…
"I think we're ready now Botan-san. Let me help you." I reached my hand out which she grasped firmly. She tried to stand, but cried out in pain.
"Here, let me carry you." I wrapped one arm around Botan's waist, and the other around her upper body. Her legs hung over my left arm, and she slid her arms around my neck.
She was so warm… I found myself wanting to hold her closer to my chest. A wisp of her blue hair tickled my nose, making me smile softly. I wanted to bury my face in her soft tresses… Botan uttering a low noise snapped me out of my reverie.
I stopped when I realized we were in front of the door that led to the River Styx. "Botan, I need your help to get us going."
Botan was a bit surprised by this. "My help? I can't see and I can't walk! How could I help you?"
"Summon your oar. I'll take over from there."
Botan shook her head. "I can only do so when I'm standing." She bit her lip. "I can try though."
"I'll hold you up." I smiled at her, even though she couldn't see it. I gently placed her legs down, twisting her around to face ahead. I felt her body stiffen as she touched the ground. I stopped moving for a moment, making sure I wasn't hurting her.
Botan closed her eyes and concentrated what little bit of reiki she had left into an oar, appearing in her hand after about ten seconds. With a small gasp, her legs went weak. I immediately tightened my grip on her, holding up the weight of her body, which wasn't much at all. "Daijoubu?" I worry way too much…
That reiki was pretty much all she had and I could tell that it was strenuous on her body to use it. "I'm fine. Just a bit dizzy."
I didn't believe her.
My grip on her became stronger as I lifted her up once more. I placed her tenderly on the oar, trying to make her as comfortable as possible, which was quite hard considering that she was still feeling the pain from injuries. I grasped the oar, my ki flowing into it. I didn't gasp, nor gawk when we began to rise.
"Kurama-kun... How are you doing this?" Botan was awestruck.
"It's simple really. I used my own ki to control your reiki. I can maneuver it however I want to." I responded. It must have either seemed really obvious or logical, because I couldn't exactly read Botan's expression. [10]
"Are you ready? I won't let you go." I asked Botan. She nodded her head as a reply before I slowly began to increase the speed and altitude. As we climbed higher, something that resembled a black hole came into view. "Is this the portal?" [11]
"Hai. Just direct it in."
"That sphere?"
"Hai."
As we grew closer to portal, I felt a tug on the oar, pulling it closer and closer. The moment the tip touched the core, we were engulfed in darkness for about ten seconds and then there was light. It shone through the misty air, guiding us out. I dipped down, making sure not to get too close to the ground. [12]
It was still daylight, the sun bright and cheery. Botan however...
I felt something wet on my arm. I poked my head above her shoulder to find her crying. I abruptly stopped, floating like a feather in the wind up in the sky. "Why are you crying? Are you okay?" I asked. Her tears stung me almost as much as they stung her lifeless eyes.
Botan sobbed lightly. "I can feel the sun... But no matter how hard I try... I can't see it..." Tears streamed down her face, dripping down onto the sleeve of my red clothing. I slowly lifted my arm to my lips, tasting her salty tears.
"Gomen nasai... This is my fault... It's my fault you're blind... Let me be your eyes. Let me show you everything." I held her closer to me leaning my head against her back.
"Kurama-kun..." She whispered.
"Don't tell me it wasn't my fault because it was. You got hurt trying to save my life. I have to repay you somehow." I said before she could continue.
"Kurama-kun... I hope you realize... That attack would have killed you... I figured out why I did that... It was because... If I took the blow... I would have a better chance of surviving than you would have." Botan's voice echoed in my mind. My eyes widened.
"That wasn't strong enough to kill me!" I retorted, surprised at how livid my voice was. She seemed to have been slightly hurt by my tone, letting out a small whimper.
"I know it wasn't. But the second one would have." I gasped, barely realizing that I had done so. Without a word, I zipped off to Shiori's house. [13]
*About an hour later in Botan's POV...*
Kurama had said nothing to me since I told him. Before I jumped in front of him, I unconsciously realized that. I knew it in my heart, but my mind didn't reveal it to me yet.
It felt so wonderful to know that I had finally done something good for my Kurama. I blushed slightly at the thought. Did I just call him my Kurama?! Ah, I'm so embarrassed! I tried to hide my flushed cheeks by covering them with my hands.
We had arrived at the Minamino household about thirty minutes ago. Kurama had carried me inside in silence. He had guided me into his room, placing me on his bed. His mother was still at work and wouldn't be home until later so he didn't have anything to explain just yet. The only thing he had said to me was "I'm going to take a shower. You can wait here until I get out."
I could hear the water running in his bathroom. My hearing and touch are probably the only things I can rely on now. All I can do is listen…
I could hear the birds chirping a sweet melody, singing happily in harmony. Oh how I wished I could see them… To watch them on the branches of a maple tree… I could just imagine it…
Suddenly, I heard Kurama turn on music. The familiar song rang through the air, bringing me to sing.
donna tokidatte
tada hitoride
unmei wasurete
ikitekitanoni
totsuzen no hikari no naka megasameru
mayonakani
No matter what the time
I`m just alone
Destiny forgotten,
Even though I kept going.
Inside of the sudden light I awaken
In the middle of the night
shizukani
deguchini tatte
kurayami ni hikari wo ute
Quietly,
Stand in the exit way,
And, in the pitch-black, take the light
imadoki yakusoku nante
fuan ni saseru dakekana
negai wo kuchi ni shitaidake sagasou
kunimo shoukai suruyo kitto umaku ikuyo
And about the recent promises,
Is it just that I`m so anxious?
A wish that`s wanting to be said, but shall be repressed
I`ll introduce my family,
You`ll surely get along well
donna tokidatte
zutto futaride
donna tokidatte
soba ni irukara
kimi to iu hikari ga watashi wo mitsukeru
mayonakani
No matter what the time
We'll always be together
No matter what the time
Because you`re by my side
The light known as "you" finds me,
In the middle of the night
urusai
toori ni haitte
unmei no kamen wo tore
Enter a noisy street
And put on the mask of destiny.
saki wo mitooshi suginante
imi no nai koto ha yamete
kyou ha hoshii monomo tabeyouyo
mirai wo zutto sakidayo
bokunimo wakaranai
Thinking too much about the future.
Stopping things that have no meaning.
Today I`ll eat delicious things.
The future is always before us,
Even I don`t know it.
kansei sasenaide
motto yokushite
one scene zutsu totte
ikeba iikara
kimi to iu hikari ga watashi no scenario
utsushidasu
It`s not necessary to go right to the end,
Just keep going.
It`s okay if the scenes
Go on one by one.
The light known as "you"
reflects my scenario
motto hanasouyo
mokuzen no ashita no koto mo
terebi keshite watashi no koto dake wo
miteiteyo
Let`s talk more,
And about the tomorrow that`s before your very eyes.
Turn off the television,
And look only at me.
donnani yokutatte
shinji kirenaine
sonna toki datte
soba ni irukara
kimi to iu hikari ga watashi wo mitsukeru
mayonakani
No matter how well we`re doing,
I don`t believe in us completely.
But at those sort of times,
Because you`re by my side,
The light known as "you" finds me,
In the middle of the night.
motto hanasouyo
mokuzen no ashita no koto mo
terebi keshite watashi no koto dake wo
miteiteyo
Let`s talk more,
And about the tomorrow that`s before your very eyes.
Turn off the television,
And look only at me.
motto hanasouyo
mokuzen no ashita no koto mo
terebi keshite watashi no koto dake wo
miteiteyo
Let`s talk more,
And about the tomorrow that`s before your very eyes.
Turn off the television,
And look only at me. [14]
"Botan-san…" I heard Kurama's voice come from my left. "You have a beautiful voice."
I was mortified. I stuttered while trying to hide my embarrassment. "Y-you heard me?!"
"Yes. And I think you have a beautiful voice." He said. Kurama seemed to have whispered something to himself, yet I couldn't hear him. I picked up something about an angel, but I couldn't be certain. [15]
Distant shuffling caused me to ask him a question. "Kurama-kun, are you dressed?"
"No, not yet. Just a towel." Kurama said sheepishly. I bit my lip again. Kami, my bottom lip is getting bitten beyond belief today. Thoughts that weren't exactly the cleanest were running through my mind, causing me to shift uncomfortably. [16]
"Daijoubu Botan-san?" Kurama asked for what seemed like the twentieth time today. I nodded, trying to rid my head of dirty thoughts of the kitsune. Mainly ones like, 'If I could see him naked, I would be the happiest deity in Reikai.'
But I'm blind… "Dammit…" I cursed under my breath. I suspect Kurama had heard me for some reason, but I couldn't understand why.
"I'll be right back. I have to call Kasaan and tell her that you're staying here." Kurama said. I had almost forgotten for a moment there that we'd eventually have to tell Shiori.
"What will you tell her?" I asked.
"I have to lie. She cannot know anything about Makai and Reikai so I'll just say that you got blinded in an accident with acid. It was an experiment at school. A freak accident where a beaker exploded, spraying the chemical into your eyes." I could almost imagine him smiling sadly. His face would always be in my mind, though I couldn't see it now.
I could tell that Kurama had left because of the click of the shutting of the door made. "My Kurama… Mine…"
*Later that night…*
Kurama's mother had come home a few hours ago. The lie that Kurama had made up had worked perfectly. Shiori didn't expect a thing. I still didn't move from my spot on his bed. I had spent the day lying there, trying to improve my senses, even trying to sense ki. I admit, I'm not an expert, but I'm getting pretty damn good. [17]
Mm… A form was approaching the room… Most likely Kurama. "Kurama-kun?" I asked.
"Dare desu ka?" Ack! It's Shiori! She doesn't know who Kurama is, you baka!
"Domo sumimasen. I was dazing…" I said quickly, trying to cover up for slipping Kurama's name so gingerly off of my lips. Mind… wandering… Ugh!
"You must be… Botan. Dozo yorushiku! Shuuichi speaks about you all the time." She dragged out the word 'all' making me question her.
"W-what does he say?" I stammered.
"Nothing bad. To tell you the truth… Whenever he talks about you, his eyes sort of glow… I can tell that you make him very happy." Shiori chirped merrily.
A bright smile made its way onto my face for the first time since the whole confrontation with Kuronue. "Do you know where Ku-Shuuichi-kun is?" I barely caught myself that time. I breathed a sigh of relief, as she didn't seem to notice.
"He's washing dishes and cleaning up after dinner---" She said.
"---Which was excellent by the way---" I interrupted.
"---He should be done in a little bit." She finished.
I felt Shiori's ki move closer to mine. She was standing beside me now. "What's it like?" It made her a bit awkward and uncertain to ask the question, so I tried to make my response a bit more confident.
"It's dark… It's so dark…" Well that didn't go well… Her ki disappeared shortly afterward.
"Donna tokidatte…" I started to sing again. Agh! I can't get this song out of my head.
"I love listening to your voice." Kurama said. Since I was thinking to myself, I didn't notice him enter the room. Yet again, I became flustered because of a compliment by Kurama. Damn all this flattery! It's making me act like a fool!
"Enryo shinaide."
"I don't know… I just can't help it sometimes… I may always seem cheerful… But sometimes it's just a mask… I know you feel the same." I mumbled the last part, hoping that he didn't hear. But of course…
He did. "How can you see behind the barrier I have erected?"
"You may hide your pain, but the loneliness is in your eyes." I spoke softly. "I can't see anymore though…" I failed horribly trying to suppress a sob. I'm sick of all these tears I've cried…
"Botan-san… Please don't cry… Dame. It's not you…" I felt the bed lower. I could tell that he had sat down.
"I can't stop…" I weakly muttered between sobs. Kurama leaned my body up and placed my back against his chest. He held his arms around me, using one hand to twirl my hair. He stroked my face with his soft hands, whispering comforting words into my ear, his soothing voice was all that I cared about at the moment. I just continued crying, never wanting this warmth leave. I wanted to stay there in his arms… [18]
Ack! Now it's time for ranting. First off…
I DON'T OWN YYH! I'm just borrowing Yoshihiro Togashi-san's brilliant characters to have a little fun with some romance. ^_^
Now for some author's notes… They aren't really questions last time (which I'd like to thank everyone for the answers! I didn't realize so many people would help me out!) These are just mainly really pointless comments. You don't have to bother with them if you don't want to. They aren't THAT important… But I'd like for you to read them if you have time and/or patience.
[1] I don't really think Botan would discover that she was blind that quickly… But I was running out of ideas…
[2] Botan's eyes are lavender… I'm pretty sure… x.x
[3] It doesn't affect youkai like that… I just wanted an excuse for something… ^_^;;;
[4] I doubt someone could actually be dry of tears… XD Psycho! o.O Random-ness.
[5] Of course she would end up kissing him by accident! Not like she can see his face.
[6] Most of you are probably wondering about this… You'll find out in the next chapter. ^_^
[7] Curiosity doesn't seem to be in character with Kurama. Maybe when he's Youko Kurama and has some shiny objects, but… THAT DOESN'T MATTER! Stop changing the subject!
[8] Okay… So she has a suitcase… Seems unusual for the Deity of Death.
[9] Yes Kurama is certainly missing something important…
[10] I sort of got that idea from Raven Sin's fic Stripped. The second entry I think… Yup, that one.
[11] I got the basic idea of what the portal looked like from the manga. ^_^ Hopefully I described it well enough.
[12] If anyone sees a sort of… dirty joke… I'm not saying NOTHING.
[13] You'll find out more about that later also…
[14] If someone tells me what song that was, I'll give them a cookie next chapter! It's not that hard… Think… ^_^
[15] What Kurama said? "A voice like an angel…"
[16] Wouldn't EVERYONE have dirty thoughts? *drools at the thought* Botan-chan, you're SOOOO lucky!
[17] It would probably take longer than the time I've shown here to learn that… But… WHATEVER!
[18] YAY! The fluffy WAFFy moment we've all been waiting for!
And… translations…
Doushite- Why?
Daijoubu- Are you okay?
Gomen nasai- I am sorry
Kami- God
Dare desu ka- Who?
Domo sumimasen- I'm sorry
Dozo yorushiku- I'm pleased to meet you
Enryo shinaide- Don't be shy
Dame- Stop, No good, Don't
Nani desu ka- What is it?
I've been learning a lot of new Japanese words so I like using them. ^_^ I just wanted to test them out.
Now, review responses! …Whoops… I forgot… I'm at my grandma's without the internet… I'll have to do that once I get home… ^_^
sessygirl9950- Heheheh updating! ^_^
Ruroken- No I'm not… ^_^;;; Thanks for the help! ^_^ And don't feel bad for scaring the crap out of me yesterday. Maybe I sort of overreacted. And next time, I'll protect you from Reoji-chan's chairs! ^_^
Kitsunegirl- Thank you! ^_^ I absolutely love support!
Cheeto- Thank you SO much for reviewing! Yay! One of my favorite authors reviewing my fics! You're one of the people who got me started with writing K/B fics! I started writing after I read… chapter… seven or something like that (the chapter with the Karma Sutra thing) in Broken Past! And thanks for the info!
Little/beautiful kitsune- ^_^ Thanks!
xpassionateangel- Interesting! The word of the month! *hugs the word interesting* ^_^ Thank you!
Jesscheaux Kuwabara- Tragic is fun! I'm so mean to these poor characters! (Kenshin: *glares at Waterflash*) This one will end happy! …Hopefully… x.x
Thundercat- I agree. ^_^ Youko Kurama and Kuronue… *drools*
Boomerang-chan- Hihi B-chan! ^_^ Thanks for all the info! Happy happy happy! *turns chibi and bounces* PANCAKES! *turns back* Whoops. Sorry, all this Pepsi is bringing out all the chibi in me! Thanks for reviewing like you always do! ^_^ I fixed up my xanga site! It's got this really cute Kenshin/Kaoru background. A wedding-ish one. Everything's all blue-ish now. ^_^ It fits with my name, ne? And you have to check out one of my post thingys! It's unveiled everything I've been working on! ^_^
unique-starfish- Kurama/Botan is one of my fav pairings! It's my goal to get as many people as I can hooked on Kurama/Botan… ^_^ I've seen screencaps from the Kurama and Karasu fight… Poor Kurama gets torn up bad! *sniff* Thank you! And I'm reading the next chapter of Pools of Emptiness right now! AHHHHH I CAN'T BELIEVE NAKAGO DIED!! He was so cool, too….
WOW THIS CHAPTER WAS 11 PAGES LONG!!!!!!
Please reviewwwwww! ^_^ I love you all… ^_^