WRITTEN BY: Heather Ferguson (fergus80)
EMAIL: hmfergie@charter.net
WEBSITE: (Jensen)
RATING: PG-13 (NC-17 where applicable will be separate)
SUMMARY: Set after Freak Nation. A miss understanding turns into some truth telling and decision making for our transgenic pair.
SPOILERS: Everything!
DISCLAIMER: All Dark Angel characters belong to James Cameron, FOX, etc. etc. etc.
FEEDBACK: Always makes me smile! :)
DEDICATION: To all the Nuns at the Church of Jensen, the Blue Lady, and of course Jensen!
RANT: Okay… I did the stupid thing and watched Freak Nation with the commentary. Can I actually say I'm HAPPY that DA was canceled? Seriously what Cameron and/or what the writers wanted to do…. UGH! So, with that annoyance in my head, I just had to correct a few things, or I couldn't live with myself, whatever this will be (obviously, writing this, before I write my fic) is the result of this huge annoyance. SO… let's see how it goes. ;)
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Luke looked over at Dix, "I guess we'll reschedule the meeting."
Dix nodded, "Yeah... a week or so?"
Mole looked over at the door. "Think that would be long enough?"
he asked as he rubbed his throat.
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Cindy leaned back against the kitchen counter taking a sip from her cup of coffee. Her eyes scanned the face of the woman setting on the stool on the other side of the counter. Even though Max had poured her heart out to her best friend the night before… well actually that morning… she still looked… haunted.
While she had sat and listened to the whole story, she hadn't said a word about it yet. Hadn't given her opinion. Her thoughts on the matter. She took another sip of coffee, and then asked what seemed to be a simple question. "So… what are you going to do about Logan?"
Max cringed. "Well… we decided to take it slow." OC gave her a look, "Okay… I decided to take things slow." Max sighed at the look again, "Fine… I said slow to get away from him last night…. Cindy… I DON'T know what to do."
She stood up and moved back to the couch with her cup of coffee and Cindy followed and sat on the armrest, her feet facing Max on the sofa cushion. Max curled up her feet on the couch, and rested the side of her head on her fist. "Well… you bought yourself some time. But you're gonna have to be honest with the man, Max."
She sighed, "But maybe I am just jumpy and not used to it. Maybe I just need to get used to being able to touch him again. I mean… it HAS been like a year that I couldn't touch him. Wouldn't it be natural for me to be nervous and jumpy around him? Wouldn't be natural to want to start actually dating?"
Cindy gave her a look… "How long have you known each other?" Max sighed. "Max if you aren't wanting to jump the man's bones, heck… at least kiss him… you KNOW the answer to that."
"But… I mean… it's what I have wanted for so long… it doesn't make any sense."
"Sugar… it makes perfect sense."
Max turned to her quickly… "Oh it does? Then why don't you enlighten me?"
Cindy shook her head, "Oh no… you have to figure it out."
She sat up quickly, moving over towards Cindy. "Oh no… you're going to help me."
OC shook her head and sighed. "You aren't going to want to hear it."
Max sat her cup on the coffee table, crossed her arms over Cindy's knees and looked up at her with her big brown eyes, "Pleasssseeeee."
"Oh no you don't."
"Cindyyyyy" Max whined.
"Fine… But Max… you don't play fair."
Max smiled and scooted back over on her side of the couch in triumph, as OC shook her head and sat down next to her. "You're afraid."
Max's eyes widened. "WHAT?"
"You heard me Boo. You're afraid."
"I'm NOT afraid."
Cindy just shook her head, "Oh yes you are."
"And exactly what am I afraid of?"
"Love."
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He opened his eyes, blinked twice letting his eyes adjust to the sunlight, and groaned looking at the clock. He sat up and threw the sheet off, grumbling softly for letting himself sleep too long as he grabbed a pair of boxers from the dresser as he walked into the bathroom. He was only supposed to let himself get an hour, trying to make up for being out all last night, and getting back the next morning.
But the short catnap had turned longer when the dreams, or nightmares seemed to take over. Her face. The look in her eyes the last time he saw her. The images of her… with him. Haunted his dreams.
Alec turned on the shower, stepping in with a slight yelp from the cold. He took the soap and eased himself back under the water as it started to slowly heat up, lathering the soap over his chest as the steam started to fill the room.
He was trying to forget those thoughts. Tried to push them away as the spray pounded over his muscles. Tried to wash away the memory as the water and soap washed his skin.
But it wasn't working, and with the shock of cold water coming from above hit him as the hot water ran out, her knew it was a losing battle. He quickly turned off the water, and jumped out. Grabbing a towel, he quickly dried off and pulled on the pair of boxers. He ran his fingers through his wet hair and walked back into the main room of his apartment.
He took out a pair of jeans, slid them on one leg at a time. Zipped then buttoned them as he looked around the room, "Now where?" He looked under the bed, pulled out a black shirt, sniffed it, and then pulled it on over his head. He sat on the bed, putting on his socks and shoes with a sigh. He had to get out of this room, had to get to headquarters. Had to get out of his thoughts, away from the silences, away from her. Had to get his mind on something else, had to get his mind to focus on the big picture, had to get his mind to stop focusing on her. On her… eyes.
Alec closed his eyes. Brown ones stared back from his closed eyelids.
Hazel eyes opened. Brown ones stared back from the wall. He stood up and
grabbed his coat, and quickly exited his apartment.
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"Love?" Max looked at her friend like she had lost it, "You have to be kidding."
OC shook her head. "You're afraid to love Max."
Max stood up quickly. "Excuse me. I don't think so. I've been trying for the last year to be with Logan. Trying to find a cure…"
Cindy cut her off… "And now that you have it… you aren't with him. What does that tell you?" Max didn't say anything. "Max… question." Her friend looked at her, waiting. "Why did you want to be with Logan in the first place?"
"What?"
"What was it that you saw in Logan, that made you want to be with him?"
Max started pacing, and moved quicker back and forth with the frustration of not being able to come up with an easy answer. She stopped and turned with triumph to her friend when she got one, "He was the first man to accept me and want me for what I am."
"Oh… really." Max nodded. Cindy shook her head, "And that's all you got?" Max tried to quickly think of something else, but Cindy raised her hand, "Because that isn't even the truth and you know it."
"What do you mean that's not the truth?"
"You're going to try and tell me that Logan accepts who and what you are?"
"Yes!"
"Really?"
"Cindy, what are you saying? That Logan doesn't accept that I'm a transgenic? He knew what I was the night we met! And he obviously wants me. He's said as much. His actions say as much."
OC held up her hand again to her friend. "Granted. He wants you. Who doesn't Boo? And of course he knows you are a transgenic… but that's not what you said. You said he accepts you as a transgenic… do you REALLY believe that?"
Max started to say yes… but Cindy's look made her stop and think. "I…"
"He's not always trying to make you human? He's not always trying to make you normal?" Max's mouth opened, and then closed. "Trying to make you something you aren't… that ain't accepting who you are Max."
She sighed, "Okay, then if you are so smart. Why would I want to be with someone so bad, when I really don't want to be with them and shouldn't be with them, and also can't be with them?"
Cindy wanted to laugh, "For an excuse."
Max threw up her hands. "That makes no sense!"
OC did laugh, "Boo… I never said you made sense." She got an evil look.
Max sighed, "And excuse for what?" She asked backtracking.
"An excuse not to fall in love." Max looked at her confused. OC shook her head, and tried to point out the obvious. "If you are unavailable… how can you be with someone else? If you are unavailable… you can shield your heart."
Max shook her head, trying not to listen, but the words were sinking into her head, and slowly, so slowly… starting to make sense. She closed her eyes, "By wanting something I can't have… I allowed myself to push everything else away." Cindy nodded. She looked up, "I do… do that. Don't I?" OC nodded again. "I push away the good things in my life… because… because…"
"Because you're afraid that if you let it in… you'll lose it."
Max looked down, "Everyone… everything I care about always ends up…" She couldn't finish the words. Her brain and images of her friends and family that were dead or hurt flashed through her brain.
Cindy moved over on the couch and hugged her friend, "Hey… Boo…" A tear slipped down Max's cheek. "You let me in. And I'm still here."
She got a small smile back, but then it turned into another frown. "But Cindy… I pushed so hard. I pushed too hard. And now… it's all gone. I pushed everyone else away. I pushed MY kind away. I pushed the only people who truly understand who… what I am… away. I tried so hard to… to protect myself." She stopped… "I did too damn good of a job at it."
Cindy hugged her tighter as Max's tears soaked into her pajama top.
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Alec walked into Headquarters and his shoulders straightened, his eyes set, and his usual smile came to his lips as he walked over the computer terminals. "Hey guys… got any new information?" He asked the two, putting a hand on Luke's shoulder.
Dix nodded pointed over at the telescope, "Yeah we took a look last night. It's getting closer. We still got about a month or so."
Alec looked over at the newer piece of equipment, "Are you sure that's good enough. I can get a bigger one."
Dix just shook his head, "We're just looking at it through there to keep a real eye on it. We've hacked into the government satellites for more precise information on it."
"Besides Mole likes that one to spy on the people in Seattle," Luke said and Alec almost choked and looked over at Mole.
Mole gave Luke a dangerous look, then turned back to Alec and shrugged his shoulders. "Just keeping an eye on the ordinaries… they do some weird stuff."
Alec shook his head, turned to Dix, "Who would of thought our Mole is a little Peeping Tom?"
Dix coughed covering the beginning of his laugh. "Anyway… We have about a month before the Comet passes. Until then we will be getting a lot more nights of falling stars from the debris that is proceeding it."
Luke continued, "All of it will burn up in the atmosphere. The pieces are too small to leave anything."
"But when the comet gets closer, when it passes by…" Dix started, "Bigger pieces will come into contact, and they will not fully burn up. But will actually hit."
Alec nodded and pointed to the screen. "Have we figured out what these symbols mean yet?"
Luke shook his head. "We're getting closer. We have a very, very general idea of what it means. But not good enough to figure out what we need to do."
Dix looked back at Alec, trying to decide if he really wanted to tell him what he had too. "But whatever it does mean exactly. We are going to have to work with Max to figure it all out."
Alec sighed, and rubbed his forehead. That was one thing he really didn't
want to hear. *One month,* he told himself. He only needed to get through
one more month… just one month and he wouldn't have to see her again or
in one month it would all be over… for everyone.
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Chapter 9 Coming Soon! – Please
Review!!!