Valentines' Hijinks
By: Lady*Wildfire*Star
Disclaimer: The same as always. I do not own anything about/from Harry Potter.
Rated: PG-13 ( I might change this, I'm not sure yet. The prologue was more like PG or maybe even G. But for now it's PG-13 to be safe, because I'm not yet sure where this story will go)
To everyone who read this: THANK YOU!!! And to everyone who reviewed this: THANK YOU VERY MUCH! Any sort of comments/input/questions are welcome, just no flames!
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Chapter 1 : The Plans
February 1st, Tuesday
James Harry Potter could consciously hear the sounds of three people hurrying around their dorm room, however he did not want to fully awaken. He had been dreaming again that he was going out with Lily Evans. Whenever the dream would get to a "good" part, involving Lily in black lacy lingerie James would wake up. He could hear what was going on around him more and hear Lily less.
"Wormtail, wake em up!" said the first and rather deep voice.
"No Padfoot, you do it. I'm looking for my potions' essay," responded a second squeaky voice.
"Can't you see, I'm doing my hair. It has to look just so," said the first voice.
"It looks just so damn stupid," mumbled the second voice.
"What did you just say , Wormtail?" demanded the first voice.
"Stop it you gits, I'll do it," said yet a third voice that sounded extremely exhausted.
And then there was sudden earthquake, no wait, James felt himself being shaken. "James! James ! Get out of bed. We all over slept so we have to skip breakfast," exclaimed the third voice.
James opened his brilliant hazel eyes to see Remus Lupin standing by his side. He was about to protest getting up, thinking he would sleep all day but then he remembered what day it was. It was the first of February. Ordinarily it wouldn't mean anything special. But, yesterday, he had come up with a brainless idea. He decided that the marauders (with the exception of Peter because no one is really attracted to him anyways) would accomplish something within two weeks, that they couldn't do in seven years at Hogwarts! But, since it was a pact he made with his two best friends, he couldn't back down. Sirius would have a field day if James backed out of something, especially when it was HIS IDEA. James pulled himself out of bed and grabbed his clothes for the day to change.
In History of Magic.....
The three marauders sat together in the back of the room. Peter Pettigrew also known as Wormtail or short chubby guy who looks like he's thirty was notoriously missing, due to the fact that Sirius threw his potion's essay out the window out of anger. (And yes I'm looking for reasons to keep Peter out the story, because I DO NOT LIKE HIM). Peter was up in their room writing a new one, due tomorrow , and because his lack of brain cells it probably wouldn't get done by then. Lily Evans and Emmeline Vance had noticed the three of them sitting together around a small piece of parchment and talking in hushed voices. When the three of them were keeping to themselves and not disrupting the whole class, it usually meant trouble. They were up to something, some kind of prank.
"I wonder what they are up to?" questioned Emmeline, twirling a piece of blonde hair around her pointer finger.
"Who cares, they are all a waste of time, Em,"replied Lily.
"You guys don't think there...well...good looking?" asked Hestia who wasn't very talkative in general.
"Lemme guess, you do, right?" asked Lily.
Hestia looked up from the homework questions she was doing in the free time that the teacher gave to them. "Ahhh well, I must admit there is something about Lupin," she told them.
"Like I've said before Black is cute. But he's too conceited,"said Emmeline.
The two girls looked at Lily who was writing something down and was oblivious to the fact that her friends were waiting for her opinion. Emmeline cleared her throat, and Lily looked up. "What ?" she asked.
"Lils , what do you think?" said Emmeline.
Lily scratched her chin with her quill, "Potter's a prat, Sirius is arrogant, and Remus is often very strange. Ever feel like he's hiding something?" stated Lily.
"We did not ask for an analysis of their personalities, Lily" said Hestia.
"Ohhh okay, well. Potter then. Potter's the best looking in my opinion," said Lily.
Emmeline watched her with an amused look on her face. "That was quick." Lily gave her a sarcastic smile and went back to writing.
On the other side of the room....
"Okay you guys, so I think we ought to plan this out, like we do our pranks,"said James. The three of them had finished their work and were sitting around the blank piece of parchment.
"Good idea. Hey Moony, wanna write the plans down?" said Sirius to Remus.
"Why me?"retorted Remus.
"Because James can't spell to save his life and my handwriting is usually illegible,"replied Sirius.
"Fair point" said Remus as he grabbed his quill, preparing to write. "But should we really write this out, what if it happens to fall into the wrong hands?" asked Remus.
"No way that would happen, Moony. You worry too much," said Sirius.
"Famous last words," grumbled Remus.
Sirius was about to respond to that but then James said, "We need to stick with my ideas from yesterday. The whole Valentine's Day theme."
"Alright so Plan A, candy? What do all three of us give all three of them candy?" questioned Sirius seriously.
"No no , it doesn't work like that Padfoot. One of us will give one of them candy and then ask them if they want to go to the Valentine's Ball. Then another will give another one of them flowers and ask if they want to go. It would look repetitive and planned out if all three of us gave all of them candy and asked" answered James.
"Ohhhh okay," said Sirius.
Remus scrawled down candy, then asked , "Okay so whose giving one of them candy?"
"I will," said Sirius and then he went on to say, "Remus you talk to Hestia sometimes can you ask her what kind of candy Emmeline likes."
Remus sighed and nodded. It looked like he would be doing the most important work.
"I'll do the poetry one," said James , "I heard Lily saying she enjoys poetry so that should be a piece of cake."
Remus wrote down Poetry: James. "I'll give Hestia flowers. But how do I know which ones she likes?"
"There might be some nice ones growing near the edge of the castle moat," said Sirius.
"Okay, I might as well bring her poison ivy," said Remus.
"It was just an idea, Moony" Sirius told him.
While the three of them contemplated their plans, two Slytherin males, were nearby pretending to be working. They were actually listening and laughing at the marauders' ideas.
"Candy , flowers , and poetry?" sneered the blonde, "that's horrible!"
The greasy haired boy laughed with him, "Okay so we poison the candy, distort the poetry, and let bees loose on the flowers!"
"Great idea, why didn't I think of it?" asked the blonde. "That way everything they do will look like a prank! And then to top it off , we steal the paper and change it. After reading it Vance and Jones will be so furious they won't talk to the marauders ever again. And they will be thankful that we turned in the culprits and they will want to go with us" stated the blonde.
"Flawless plan," chimed the boy with the black greasy hair. "And I can get back at Evans while were doing this."
"Why do you want to get back at Evans?" questioned the blonde.
"For polluting this school, that damn filthy mudblood!" responded the greasy haired boy.
"Oh of course!" exclaimed the blonde.
"And," said the black haired boy darkly, "I owe her one, for what she did. If you know what I mean."
An evil smirk spread across the blonde's face in agreement.
Later on while sitting outside beneath the shade of their favorite tree the marauders were still working on their plans. Peter was missing because James had put an itching potion all over his clothes and he had been kicked out of class for disruption. He couldn't stop scratching himself. It was rather cold, but the sun was out and was proceeding to melt the snow. Perhaps to some it was too cold to be outside, but the marauders needed a place where they could plan without being interrupted. Remus was still taking notes while the three of them came up with ideas.
"Prongs,"said Sirius to James, "What if this doesn't work, we have to have some sort of backup plan."
James thought for a moment then spoke, "If those don't work we then try jealousy. We make the girls jealous. Ever notice that when your dating someone even more girls want you?"
Sirius nodded and James continued, "If that doesn't work then...." he trailed off.
"Black mail?"offered Sirius.
James shrugged, "I suppose so."
Remus shook his head , indicating that he did not agree, "If we do black mail , we might as well do bribes too."
Sirius grinned, "Good idea, write it down."
"I was not being serious, Padfoot,"replied Remus.
"Maybe we could buy them another kind of present or something. Or we could help them with homework," said James thinking out loud, randomly throwing ideas out at his friends.
Then the three were silent for a moment thinking of a final idea.
"Manipulation,"Sirius told them.
"What?" asked Remus.
"Manipulation. We tell everyone that if they go with Lily, Emmeline, or Hestia they will get their arses kicked or we'll curse them. That way everyone will be afraid to ask them, and they will want dates no matter what, so they will have to go with us" said Sirius brightly.
James heaved a great sigh , 'it's going to be a long couple of days', he thought.
"Stupendous plan Sirius. If we cannot get them to go with us any other way, we will scare everyone else away from them," said Remus sarcastically.
James rumpled the back of his hair so it was sticking up more than normal. "Well for now, let's pretend to be nice. No pranks at all. We want them to see what gentlemen the marauders are."
Sirius and Remus nodded.
"Oh and Sirius?" said James.
"Yeah?" asked Sirius.
"No more of your lame jokes, I think they bother Emmeline."
-Lady*Wildfire*Star
Yes it's been a slow start, I've been busy and haven't had time to write. It gets better though! And no, I'm not trying to make the marauders sound desperate, this is supposed to be a little bit humorous.
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