TITLE: Coming Decisions – Chapter 16

WRITTEN BY: Heather Ferguson (fergus80)

EMAIL: hmfergie@charter.net

WEBSITE:  webpages. charter. net/ fergus80 (Jensen)

RATING: PG-13 (NC-17 where applicable will be separate)

SUMMARY: Set after Freak Nation. A miss understanding turns into some truth telling and decision making for our transgenic pair.

SPOILERS: Everything!

DISCLAIMER: All Dark Angel characters belong to James Cameron, FOX, etc. etc. etc.

FEEDBACK: Always makes me smile! :)

DEDICATION: To all the Nuns at the Church of Jensen, the Blue Lady, and of course Jensen!

RANT: Okay… I did the stupid thing and watched Freak Nation with the commentary. Can I actually say I'm HAPPY that DA was canceled? Seriously what Cameron and/or what the writers wanted to do…. UGH! So, with that annoyance in my head, I just had to correct a few things, or I couldn't live with myself, whatever this will be (obviously, writing this, before I write my fic) is the result of this huge annoyance. SO… let's see how it goes. ;)

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Another tear slipped down her cheek. She had seen the pain in his eyes as his hands gripped her shoulders trying to make her understand. She saw the hurt that she had created. She saw the fear that ran through them when he realized he had shown her his weakness. When he had let his mask slip in front of her. It struck her to the very core. Because in that instant she truly realized that he was right. She wasn't hurting Manticore. She was hurting him… and herself.

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The scotch burned on it's way down his throat. And he took another drink of pain. That type of hurt more preferable to the other one in his chest. He saw the other man watching him out of the corner of his eye. "What?"

"Nothing."

Alec gave him a look, "Don't nothing me."

Mole let out a puff of smoke, "Well you're the one that doesn't want to talk about anything."

He rolled his eyes, "Oh Mole... you aren't becoming a woman now are you?"

He choked on his cigar, removing it from his mouth, "Excuse me?"

"You... and all this talking. 'What are you thinking?' What are you feeling?'" He said in a higher pitch tone. "Seriously, you're turning into a female."

"You know. We fling back and forth a lot insults. But that..." he put a hand over his heart. "That hurts."

Alec laughed and smiled, "Sorry man."

"So what did she do now that's got you all riled up? Oh wait... what was that whole display in the mess hall about?" He got another look. Mole coughed slightly, "Just wanting to know for purely Command purposes."

Alec rolled his eyes, "Command purposes my ass. Are you sure you don't have any feline DNA?"

He laughed, "Nope. Cold blooded through and through."

Alec laughed and then took another drink, letting out a small burp following. "Well... she really didn't do anything different than usual."

"Then why?"

He sighed and rubbed his hand over his forehead. "I'm mad with... myself."

Mole was shocked, "Excuse me? Don't tell me that female has you blaming yourself again for..."

He stopped him shaking his head. "No... I just. I said more than I should have."

"Said what?"

But before he could respond. "Hey guys. Mole... Medium Fella. Can I join you?"

The two looked up at the tall guy hovering over them. "Sure Josh, buddy, take a load off." Joshua nodded at Alec and sat down at the table with them. He took another drink, and then turned to him. "Hey, weren't you going to show Max your mural?" He said as he motioned to Jonny at the bar.

Mole rolled his eyes. Alec gave him a warning look. Joshua answered oblivious to it all. "She already left Terminal City for the night."

Alec nodded, took a long drink, and then handed over his empty glass to Jonny. The guy handed him another, and a beer to Joshua. "Well don't worry buddy. She'll be back in the morning... all happy and chipper to see your painting." He took another long drink letting the sting hit his queasy stomach.

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She gave a heavy sigh as she opened the door seeing who was on the other side. She shook her head and pulled her friend inside the apartment, "Now what's going on?"

Max sat down on the couch, tugging her coat off in the process. Cindy took it away from her and sat it on the back of the chair. "Huh?"

OC shook her head again, sat down next to her and rested her elbow on the back of the couch. "What did you and Alec fight about now?"

"It wasn't really a fight." She stopped and looked at her, "How did you know it was about him?"

"Who else gets you all riled up?"

Max tiled her head down, her hands coming up over her face. "But I'm the one that does it. Not him."

Cindy blinked twice in disbelief, and leaned closer, "What… what? I don't think I heard you right on that."

She let out a small laugh, "Well. He does do it on purpose sometimes… but not for the reasons I thought." Cindy put a finger in her ear and twisted it, then shook her head. Max saw it and laughed again. "Yeah. I know. Sounds strange coming from me."

"Strange? You're kiddin' right? I'm thinking you been abducted by aliens." They both laughed, then Cindy stopped. Straight faced, "Max… what happened?"

"He doesn't hate me," she said softly.

"I could have told you that, and I tried."

She nodded, "I know."

"And…" OC prompted, "How does that have to do with…" she trailed off.

Max looked over at her friend with tears in her eyes again, "I've hurt him so much Cindy. I never saw it, or I didn't want to. I blamed him for so much… so much that wasn't his fault for so long. He let it out finally, and you could just tell… tell he didn't want to." She closed her eyes at the memory of those emotions that washed through those hazel eyes in front of her. Emotions that she had caused. She looked back over to the other girl. "I've done so much damage, so much hurt for so long. I have no idea if I could ever repair it… I don't even know if it's possible."

Cindy moved over closer to her friend on the couch. "You know… sometimes you just can't repair things no matter how much you want too."

Max looked up at her with big eyes, tears slipping down her face. "Oh God. You think it's too late? That I've done too much?"

She pulled her in for a hug, "Max… sometimes you have to demolish the building down to its main supports and then rebuild on a fresh foundation."

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"Okay, Jed and Rex, you will enter here." He said pointing to the blue prints. His finger moved to another position, "but not until I make sure this area is clear and bypass security." He looked up and got nodes from them both. He turned to Mole.

"Weapons and supplies are packed and ready."

"All updated schematics and the computer virus is loaded into your mini-laptop."

Alec smiled at Luke, and patted his shoulder. "Okay. This should be a clean in and out procedure. Everyone got their orders?"

"No."

He turned around facing brown eyes. "Max…" He shook his head, "You don't have any orders."

"Exactly."

He rolled his eyes and turned back to the others. "We head out in a half hour. Meet in the garage." He then took the supplies from Luke and started to head for his office.

She watched him walking away, "Hey!"

"You aren't going," he said firmly over his shoulder as he walked into the other room.

She marched her way in behind him and shut the door behind her. "Why not?"

He walked behind his desk, sat down his stuff and then looked back at her. "You're kidding right?" She shook her head that she wasn't. "Do you really want me to list the reasons? Ummm let's see. The mission only requires three people. The team is already lined up. They know what they are looking for. I know how to bypass security. Anything else would be a liability. Oh… and did I mention that you seem to hold the cure to a plague. And that it would be REALLY stupid to risk you on a mission to just get some lab equipment."

"Well is it really a good idea for you to go alone? I mean… don't you need someone to watch your back while you bypass security?"

"Wow Max… that could almost be disguised as concern for me." He walked over to his door and started to open it, "Unfortunately I know it's just you wanting to come along so I don't mess it all up." She was about to object, as he continued and motioned for her to walk through. "I don't need back up Max. I work well alone." She slowly walked out the door, and turned back towards him to speak again. But... "I was trained to be alone. And I'll do just fine alone." He shut the door, and then leaned back against. "Perfectly fine… all alone."

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She looked at the door in front of her. Starred at it for a minute. She could feel the temper starting to rise in her, and she tried to push it down. Tried to push it away. She knew it was not the way she should deal with this, with him. But… she didn't know how else to handle the situation. He wasn't listening to her. Well… she actually hadn't said anything. But he hadn't let her. Then again, could she really blame him? Had she really been that scripted in her responses to him? She closed her eyes as she answered her own question.

Now she had a choice. She could walk away, and let it go. Maybe try again later. Or she could barge her way back in and try to knock some sense into him. Well… knocking some sense into him might not exactly be the way to go if she wanted to get through to him that she wasn't trying to always kick his ass anymore.

Max sighed. The only problem was that with X5's, much like herself… it was the only way to actually get through to them. She took a deep breath and turned the knob and walked back into the lion's den.

He looked up from his desk. "You aren't going. That's final. Don't make me have Mole or someone force you to…"

"I know."

"What?"

She shut the door and walked over to him slowly.  "As much as I hate to admit it. You're right. I shouldn't go." He just sat there, not knowing what to say. "But I don't think you should go by yourself."

"Max… I really can do this. I'm not going to screw…"

"I know."

"What?" disbelief echoed through his question.

She took a breath, "I'm not worried you are going to mess up. I'm just worried that something out of your control will happen and no one will be there to protect you." She waved him off before he could comment, "Not that I don't think you can't protect yourself." She saw the look in his eyes and she almost laughed. "But I do know how many times I was glad you were there behind me when things went sideways."

He couldn't be hearing her correctly. He just couldn't be. He shook his head, "What is this Max?"

"What is what?"

Alec looked at her, trying to figure her out. "Should I ask to look at your barcode? Because I'm not talking to Max."

She sighed, "Alec… I'm just trying to say that… Well… I've said a lot of things." She stopped, wasn't that the understatement of the century. "Many things to you that I didn't mean. Or that was way… wayyy too hard on you."

He covered his eyes with his hands and leaned his elbow on the desk. "Shit."

"What?"

He stood up quickly, "I don't need this. I really don't want this." He picked up the supplies from his desk as he looked at his watch, "And I don't have time for this."

She turned to watch him start to walk to the door. "What are you talking about?"

Alec turned back to her, "Max." He sighed and ran a hand though his hair. "What I said… in your apartment. Just forget it okay."

"Forget it? How can I forget it? I hurt…"

He cut her off, "No. Stop."

"Stop what?" she was thoroughly confused.

"I don't want you to act differently towards me because of what I said. I don't want… or need your pity."

Her eyes widened, "You think that is what this is?"

"I'm fine, okay? You don't need to come in here and try to fix me or whatever. You don't need to be 'nice' to me because you think…" He stopped, "I don't know what you think. But let's just say… I'm fine. I'm al'right. Okay?"

She sighed and nodded slightly and then watched him walk out the door. "Yeah Alec… you're always al'right." And she knew then like she had known when he had said it countless times before that he was far from al'right.

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Chapter 17 Coming Soon! – Please Review!!!