Chapter Five- A Candy Coated Existence



Matt sat in his room looking at a picture of his once family. His mother, his father, and TK, but it seemed like the boy in the picture that was supposed to be him was someone he didn't even recognize. He sat staring and staring, and heard someone ringing the doorbell out side.

"Hi Mr. Ishida, is Matt home?"

"He's here Tai but he's in his room. I don't think he's feeling very well, he hasn't talked to me since he got home."

"Oh well uh...can you tell him I stopped by?"

"Sure thing Tai."

Matt heard the front door close, and his father's footsteps coming towards his room. A crack of light appeared on the floor as the door opened up.

"Hey sport, what's bothering you? Tai was just here and he looked pretty upset that you didn't want to talk to him."

Matt's gaze shifted from the framed photo in his hand to his father. How could he just stand there talking to him, like nothing happened?

"You did this..." Matt said.

"What?"

"YOU DID THIS!" Matt screamed, and threw the picture against the wall as hard as he could. The glass shattered and flew in every direction.

Matt stormed out of the room and began putting his coat and shoes on.

"Matt where are you going? Get back here!"

"I'm going for a walk," Matt choked out through the tears that had started flowing. He wiped his arms across his eyes, drying them with his sleeve.

"Matt what the hell is wrong with you!?"

Matt slammed the door in his father's face and went outside. He walked down the stairs of the apartment building into the cold outside world and began heading down the sidewalk with his hands deep in his pockets.

Tai was currently walking down the sidewalk in the other direction, but turned when he saw someone walk out. There was Matt, walking down the street away from him.

"Matt! Hey Matt!" Tai jogged after him and slipped his arms around Matt's waist when he reached him.

"Matt I missed you so much!"

"Go away, Tai." Matt said without even looking at him.

"What?" Tai stumbled back and looked at Matt in disbelief. "Matt did I do something wrong?"

Matt turned around slowly to see Tai standing on the sidewalk behind him, looking like someone had just slapped him across the face. Tai's eyes were watering and about to overflow with tears.

"What am I doing? Tai didn't do anything wrong. What's happening to me... What's wrong with me!?" Matt screamed at himself inside his head.

Tai began sobbing. "Matt I...I'm sorry if I did something to make you mad. If you wanna break up with me and find somebody else I understand...."

The anger ran away from Matt's face and his features softened. Tai could probably stop a war with just a smile if he wanted to. There was just something about him that made people want to be happy.

"Tai, come on don't cry." He stepped over and hugged Tai, holding him close and drying his tears off with the collar of his jacket. "I'm sorry, I'd never love anyone else but you, ok?"

He could feel Tai nodding and then stepped back to look at him.

"Matt what's wrong?"

Matt sighed and looked away for a moment. "Nothing, don't worry about it." He took Tai's hand in his. "Now how about I go buy you some ice cream?"

Tai grinned and squeezed Matt's hand. "What kind of ice cream?"

"Hmm...Vanilla ice cream with pineapples and chocolate sprinkles?"

"Yahoo!!" Tai jumped off the ground and then kissed Matt on the nose. "I'll race you to the ice cream shop!" He ran off, leaving Matt alone with himself.

Matt sighed, and decided to try and forget about what had happened, and just fill his life up with Tai.



"Matt do you want the rest of my apple?" Tai said, with his mouth full of caramel.

"Tai why did you get a candy coated apple if you weren't going to eat it?"

"I just like the candy part, not the apple." Tai giggled and handed the rest of the apple to Matt, who began eating it.

"Well don't ask for anything else, you've already had four ice cream cones and a cookie."

"Can I have a balloon?" Tai nuzzled his face against Matt's neck.

"Ugh...."

Matt and Tai were walking through the mall together and had just gotten done paying for Tai's food at the sweet shop. Tai grabbed onto Matt's hand as he was tossing the stick to the candy coated apple in the trash.

"Matt, I really missed you while you were gone."

Matt sighed and forced himself to smile at Tai. "I missed you too, more than you can ever imagine."

"Hey Matt,"

"Yeah Tai?"

"Is there any rule about making love on a full stomach, like with swimming?"

"I don't think so."

"Hey Matt,"

"Yeah Tai?"

"You know that bathroom on the third floor behind the movie theater that no one ever goes to because it's always out of order and two people could be in there alone and nobody would ever know?"

Matt raised his eyebrow at Tai, staring at Tai's stupid little grin he had plastered on his face. He grabbed his hand, and pulled Tai into the elevator.

"Let's go!"

When they reached the third floor bathroom, Matt pushed the 'Out of Order' sign out of the way and then pushed Tai inside, locking the door behind him.

"Oh Matt, you're so forceful!" Tai giggled.

Matt lifted Tai up and sat him down on the counter. Sitting up on the counter, Tai was the same height as Matt, just the right height in fact.

"Wouldn't it be funny if the people walking around outside heard us in here?" Matt said while preceding to take off Tai's jacket.

"Matt, you're pure evil."

"Hey so are you, this was your idea Tai."

Tai let Matt pull his shirt off over his big fluffy hair. Matt tossed the shirt absentmindedly aside and kissed Tai's stomach.

"Mmm... Tai you've eaten so much ice cream you're starting to taste sweet."

"I'm glad you think so, I love it when you kiss my stomach"

"And I love doing it"

Matt leaned up a bit and began pulling Tai's pants off him. He was a bit shocked when he saw what Tai had on underneath.

"Tai! You're wearing boxers!"

"Well you said boxers were easier to get into."

Matt smiled and kissed Tai's stomach again. "You are such an angel."

He pulled Tai's pants down around his knees and took off his own jacket and shirt, until he had only his black tank top on. Matt unbuckled his belt and wrapped it around Tai, pulling him closer with it.

"Are you ready?"

"I've been ready for a week Yama."

Matt pulled Tai close to him and removed his own pants and underwear, along with Tai's. He ran his fingers down Tai's back and kissed his tan skin. Tai closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Matt. He rubbed his face against Matt's silky hair.

Matt pulled Tai even closer until their bodies were touching. He kissed his neck and shoulder and rubbed his hands up and down Tai's back. Tai held tightly onto Matt and anxiously waited for him to move in, but for some reason, he didn't.

"Come on Matt, I don't think I can wait anymore!"

Matt's breaths became short and uneven. Suddenly all he could think about was what had happened, about that night, about what he had done. He could almost feel a knife stabbing through his heart and breaking it. He began to hate himself so much. He wished he could jump out of his own body and fight with his other self. Make his bones break and make him bleed, make him suffer for what he had done.

Matt imagined battling with his other self right there in the Out of Order men's bathroom behind the movie theater and killing him, then standing victoriously over the dead body and laughing in triumph. The nightmare would finally be destroyed, but that could never happen.

"Tai, I can't, I'm sorry."

Tai leaned back with his eyes wide open and his mouth turned down into a frown. Matt looked awful, like he had a terrible headache that wouldn't go away.

"Matt what's wrong with you? Are you sick?"

"No, I'm fine. Maybe some other time Tai, I just don't feel up to it right now."

Matt pulled Tai off the counter and set him down on the floor. He handed Tai his clothes and began putting his own back on.

"Do you want to go home Yama?"

Matt fastened his belt buckle and nodded. "Yeah."

Tai held Matt's hand the whole way home and didn't take his eyes off him for a moment. He walked him to his apartment building and up the stairs into apartment 202. Matt's father wasn't home, he had gone to work since they had left for the mall.

Tai led Matt into his room and made him get into bed and tucked his blankets around him like a little child. Tai sat down on the bed next to Matt and gently brushed his hair out of his eyes.

"Do you want me to stay, Yama?"

Matt didn't say anything but nodded, and lifted the blankets up next to him. Tai smiled and slid under the covers.

"Yama, tell me what's wrong." He pulled the blankets around them tighter and snuggled up against Matt.

"It's just...stuff."

"Always with you and the stuff, Matt. It's the same with TK, whenever something's bothering you it all becomes 'stuff'"

"Just forget it Tai, it's nothing important." Matt put his arms around Tai and pulled him to his chest. "Just be with me right now, ok?"

"Ok."

They both closed their eyes and huddled against each other. Matt kissed Tai on the forehead and sighed, and they fell asleep together.



"Matt! Are you here?" Several hours had passed, and Mr. Ishida had just arrived home from work. He took his shoes off and put on a pair of blue-green slippers.

Matt opened one eye sleepily and groaned. Tai was still sleeping next to him, snoring loudly.

"Matt! Where are you?"

"Oh shit.... Tai!" Matt hissed and shook Tai. "Tai wake up right now!"

"But mommy...it's Saturday, lemme sleep...."

Matt lifted up Tai's shirt and pressed his bare feet against his stomach, which he knew very well were ice cold.

"AIIE!!" Tai screamed and fell out of the bed and landed on the floor in an ungraceful heap. "What are you doing!?"

"My dad is home! Do you know what he would do if he walked in and found us in bed together!?"

"But we were just sleeping." Tai yawned and stretched his arms out over his head.

"Yeah but he doesn't know that."

"Doesn't know what?" Matt's dad was leaning against the door frame looking down at them.

"Uh nothing!" Matt scratched the back of his head nervously.

"Hi Mr. Ishida!" Tai said from the floor.

"Hey Tai, glad to see you two are getting along again." He turned his back and walked out into the hallway.

"What's he talking about Matt?"

"I guess he thinks we had a fight or something."

"Oh, because you wouldn't talk to me before?" Tai climbed back into the bed and sat himself down in Matt's lap.

"Yeah..." Matt said quietly.

Tai leaned closer with one arm around Matt's shoulder and his head resting on the other shoulder. He slid his hand down between them and began massaging Matt's crotch.

"Nng...Tai what are you doing?" Even through the material of his pants and boxers it still felt incredibly good.

"Matt, I'm really horny." Tai whispered.

"Tai! Not with my dad here you idiot!" Matt growled in Tai's ear, and pushed him away.

"Maaaaaattt!!!" Tai whined in an incredibly pathetic voice.

"Zip it!" Matt said in an incredibly pissed off voice.

"Fine be that way. You're such a bitch, Matt." Tai stood up and marched off into the kitchen to steal some food from the Ishida's refrigerator.

"Ugh..." Matt let himself fall back onto the bed and stared at the ceiling. "I hate this, everything just sucks." He picked up his acoustic from the side of his bed but was so agitated he couldn't even play. He carelessly dropped it on the floor, not even caring if it became damaged in the process. He put his hands on the sides of his heads and couldn't stop himself from crying anymore.

"Damn it."