Nick walked into work that night and marched straight into Grissom's office. He was sitting behind his desk reading a file. In fact if he wasn't in a different set of clothes Nick would have sworn he hadn't moved since last night.
Grissom pulled his attention from the file and looked at Nick standing in his office. He obviously had something to say. "Nick?"
"Grissom, I know I asked you for time off last night but I really need it and this is why. My niece is dying and if I don't get out to Dallas to see her I won't get a chance to say goodbye. I'm sorry I didn't tell you this yesterday but.... Hell, I don't know why I didn't." Nick sat down with a slump. Looking up at the older man he said simply, "Please Gris, I'm begging you."
Nick's eyes reflected the pain he was in. There is no way Gil could say no to his plea. "I'll call Sara back in. Can you work a few hours until she gets back? I just got a call for a break in."
Nick nodded, "Don't expect a friendly reception. She's got the shits right now."
"When doesn't she?"
= = = = = = = = =
Nick and Grissom were working side by side when Nick's cell phone rang. He thought about not answering it as he was trying to pick up a particularly fine fibre from the window sill. But he did. "Stokes."
"Nicky, it's Karen. She's gone." Nick could hear his sister sobbing on the other end of the phone. He felt his heart tear apart. At least that is what it felt like to him. He stood and walked away from his partner, wanting to take the call in as much privacy as he could. "Did you hear me.... She died Nick. My little girl is gone."
He didn't know what to say. His throat was closed tight. Tears came to his eyes and spilled over down his cheek. He was too late. He didn't get to say goodbye. "Oh god Karen, I'm so sorry." A sob of his own escaped him. He could hear something on the other end of the phone. "Karen, are you there.. are you OK."
A male voice came on the line. Karen's husband sounded only slightly better than Karen had, "Nick, she's really upset right now. We'll call you back later. Let you know what is happening with the funeral. OK."
Nick nodded. He realised that Jackson couldn't see him and he managed to get out "K" before Jackson hung up the phone. Nick took the hand set from his ear and looked at it. He was too late. He missed his chance to say goodbye to his niece. His god daughter. If only he had told Grissom the reason why last shift. He would have been there today, would have said goodbye, would have held her hand one last time, would have been there to comfort his sister.
He was consumed by guilt and rage. "Aggghhhh," he punched the wall in front of him, once, twice, three times. The pain in his hand minute compared to the pain in his heart.
The rage was quickly replaced by grief. Sobs wracked his body. He felt a hand on his shoulder and he remembered where he was and who he was with. Wiping his eyes with back of his hand he turned to Grissom ready to apologise for his outburst.
Knowing what Nick was going to say and guessing what the phone call was, Gil shook his head. "Nick, it's OK. I'm sorry. I think you should go home, OK."
Nick nodded. Home was good. Home was where he needed to be.
"Go back to work and sign yourself out and go OK. I can finish this up. You OK to drive?"
Nick nodded. That was all he was able to do for some reason.
Gil gave him one last squeeze on the shoulder and let him go. Nick drove back to the station on auto pilot. Not really paying attention to where he was going or what he was doing. All he could do was think about Kylie.
After sitting in his car for a couple of minutes and getting himself under control he walked inside to sign off for the night. Unfortunately, with LVPD issued firearms, you couldn't just leave a scene and head home. You always had to come back to the station and hand in your weapon, and sign it back in, and yourself out.
When he had completed the necessities he went to his locker to get out his wallet and keys to his own car.
"You son of a bitch!" Unfortunately, that was the exact moment that Sara came back into work.
Nick turned his back to her so she wouldn't see his tear streaked face. She was another reason he didn't get to say goodbye to Kylie.
"I cannot believe you told Grissom to call me back in. You arsehole. I told you I was at home in confidence and you use it to get your way. Well congratulations Mr Stokes. You get to go to your frat party after all. I hope you choke to death on whichever little whore's tongue you will have down your throat."
Nick turned to Sara, rage making him shake all over. It was all he could do not to reach out and take her throat in his hands. He didn't trust himself to speak. Whatever came out his mouth now could not be taken back. He wanted to scream at her. Wanted to call her every name under the sun. Wanted her to hurt half as much as he was now. But he didn't say anything. He just looked at her.
Sara didn't recognise this man standing in front of her. She had never seen him so distraught, and angry. She realised she had stepped over the mark. Realised she had hurt him when he had needed her friendship. Realised she just may have lost her best friend forever. He turned and closed his locker. Stepped over the bench and walked out. His back as rigid as cast iron. He was right, she had been too self absorbed lately.
"Sara," she turned and realised Grissom had come back from the field and had been witness to the entire event. "Can I see you in my office please."
She followed him in. She expected a chewing out. She deserved it. He closed the door behind him and indicated that she take a seat. He sat on the edge of his desk in front of her. He didn't say anything for a while. He just looked at her. He had seen her change over the last twelve months. Had seen the strain on the friendship between her and Nick. Tonight just proved how much these two had drifted apart. He wasn't even sure that Sara had been aware of the change but she was now. It was hitting home hard.
"I take it you don't know the reason he needed the time off?" She just shook her head. "His niece passed away tonight. He had been hoping to get back to Texas to say goodbye to her but, sadly, he didn't make it." He watched Sara as this news struck home.
"Which niece was it?"
"He didn't tell me. All I know is she had Leukaemia."
"It must have been Kylie. He told me about it a year ago when they first found out she had it. He was her god father you know." Tears welled up in her eyes. She now realised where that pain had come from.
She knew Kylie had been very special to him. His favourite. She always sent him text messages from her mother's phone, or emailed him pictures of her and her brother. "Uncle Nicky is her favourite," he had told her once when she saw him looking at a photo on his email. She had his smile. The Stokes smile.
"Sara, I don't know what has happened between you and Nick, but he really needs a friend right now." She nodded. Gil could tell she had realised her mistake and that anything further he added could not make her feel any worse than she felt now.
"OK, I need you to go out to Henderson. Warrick has a DB out there. OK?"
She nodded. She would go and see Nick straight after shift and beg and plead for forgiveness. She hoped he didn't hate her too much.
Grissom pulled his attention from the file and looked at Nick standing in his office. He obviously had something to say. "Nick?"
"Grissom, I know I asked you for time off last night but I really need it and this is why. My niece is dying and if I don't get out to Dallas to see her I won't get a chance to say goodbye. I'm sorry I didn't tell you this yesterday but.... Hell, I don't know why I didn't." Nick sat down with a slump. Looking up at the older man he said simply, "Please Gris, I'm begging you."
Nick's eyes reflected the pain he was in. There is no way Gil could say no to his plea. "I'll call Sara back in. Can you work a few hours until she gets back? I just got a call for a break in."
Nick nodded, "Don't expect a friendly reception. She's got the shits right now."
"When doesn't she?"
= = = = = = = = =
Nick and Grissom were working side by side when Nick's cell phone rang. He thought about not answering it as he was trying to pick up a particularly fine fibre from the window sill. But he did. "Stokes."
"Nicky, it's Karen. She's gone." Nick could hear his sister sobbing on the other end of the phone. He felt his heart tear apart. At least that is what it felt like to him. He stood and walked away from his partner, wanting to take the call in as much privacy as he could. "Did you hear me.... She died Nick. My little girl is gone."
He didn't know what to say. His throat was closed tight. Tears came to his eyes and spilled over down his cheek. He was too late. He didn't get to say goodbye. "Oh god Karen, I'm so sorry." A sob of his own escaped him. He could hear something on the other end of the phone. "Karen, are you there.. are you OK."
A male voice came on the line. Karen's husband sounded only slightly better than Karen had, "Nick, she's really upset right now. We'll call you back later. Let you know what is happening with the funeral. OK."
Nick nodded. He realised that Jackson couldn't see him and he managed to get out "K" before Jackson hung up the phone. Nick took the hand set from his ear and looked at it. He was too late. He missed his chance to say goodbye to his niece. His god daughter. If only he had told Grissom the reason why last shift. He would have been there today, would have said goodbye, would have held her hand one last time, would have been there to comfort his sister.
He was consumed by guilt and rage. "Aggghhhh," he punched the wall in front of him, once, twice, three times. The pain in his hand minute compared to the pain in his heart.
The rage was quickly replaced by grief. Sobs wracked his body. He felt a hand on his shoulder and he remembered where he was and who he was with. Wiping his eyes with back of his hand he turned to Grissom ready to apologise for his outburst.
Knowing what Nick was going to say and guessing what the phone call was, Gil shook his head. "Nick, it's OK. I'm sorry. I think you should go home, OK."
Nick nodded. Home was good. Home was where he needed to be.
"Go back to work and sign yourself out and go OK. I can finish this up. You OK to drive?"
Nick nodded. That was all he was able to do for some reason.
Gil gave him one last squeeze on the shoulder and let him go. Nick drove back to the station on auto pilot. Not really paying attention to where he was going or what he was doing. All he could do was think about Kylie.
After sitting in his car for a couple of minutes and getting himself under control he walked inside to sign off for the night. Unfortunately, with LVPD issued firearms, you couldn't just leave a scene and head home. You always had to come back to the station and hand in your weapon, and sign it back in, and yourself out.
When he had completed the necessities he went to his locker to get out his wallet and keys to his own car.
"You son of a bitch!" Unfortunately, that was the exact moment that Sara came back into work.
Nick turned his back to her so she wouldn't see his tear streaked face. She was another reason he didn't get to say goodbye to Kylie.
"I cannot believe you told Grissom to call me back in. You arsehole. I told you I was at home in confidence and you use it to get your way. Well congratulations Mr Stokes. You get to go to your frat party after all. I hope you choke to death on whichever little whore's tongue you will have down your throat."
Nick turned to Sara, rage making him shake all over. It was all he could do not to reach out and take her throat in his hands. He didn't trust himself to speak. Whatever came out his mouth now could not be taken back. He wanted to scream at her. Wanted to call her every name under the sun. Wanted her to hurt half as much as he was now. But he didn't say anything. He just looked at her.
Sara didn't recognise this man standing in front of her. She had never seen him so distraught, and angry. She realised she had stepped over the mark. Realised she had hurt him when he had needed her friendship. Realised she just may have lost her best friend forever. He turned and closed his locker. Stepped over the bench and walked out. His back as rigid as cast iron. He was right, she had been too self absorbed lately.
"Sara," she turned and realised Grissom had come back from the field and had been witness to the entire event. "Can I see you in my office please."
She followed him in. She expected a chewing out. She deserved it. He closed the door behind him and indicated that she take a seat. He sat on the edge of his desk in front of her. He didn't say anything for a while. He just looked at her. He had seen her change over the last twelve months. Had seen the strain on the friendship between her and Nick. Tonight just proved how much these two had drifted apart. He wasn't even sure that Sara had been aware of the change but she was now. It was hitting home hard.
"I take it you don't know the reason he needed the time off?" She just shook her head. "His niece passed away tonight. He had been hoping to get back to Texas to say goodbye to her but, sadly, he didn't make it." He watched Sara as this news struck home.
"Which niece was it?"
"He didn't tell me. All I know is she had Leukaemia."
"It must have been Kylie. He told me about it a year ago when they first found out she had it. He was her god father you know." Tears welled up in her eyes. She now realised where that pain had come from.
She knew Kylie had been very special to him. His favourite. She always sent him text messages from her mother's phone, or emailed him pictures of her and her brother. "Uncle Nicky is her favourite," he had told her once when she saw him looking at a photo on his email. She had his smile. The Stokes smile.
"Sara, I don't know what has happened between you and Nick, but he really needs a friend right now." She nodded. Gil could tell she had realised her mistake and that anything further he added could not make her feel any worse than she felt now.
"OK, I need you to go out to Henderson. Warrick has a DB out there. OK?"
She nodded. She would go and see Nick straight after shift and beg and plead for forgiveness. She hoped he didn't hate her too much.