Rainy Days
Refa fan fiction, by the author who owns everything yet nothing, Shattered
Crystal Shards.
Lets kick things of with a big thanks to the latest reviewer, Jaysinya, thanks so much for the comments, I especially liked the one referring to the first chapter, that made me smile.
Like this - ^_^
That being said, I take pride in being the writer of this different, sad and angsty story.
But, these chapters just get shorter and shorter, it seems a lot longer on my word perfect editor, but then I read it and think I can write more then that, so this time I'll try for a longer chapter, and if not I apologize and will follow up with another one soon.
And, sadly three chapters in and im losing ideas for drastic events, such as the bar, Cloud's psychological trauma that lead to death, est...
But, I have some ideas for another one-shot, and this time when I say one- shot I mean one chapter, unlike this one, that expanded, but oh well. Its either going to be a Tifa and Rufus (There's not enough of these.) Tifa and Sephiroth (Well, as a challenge you know, and plus there is lots unwritten about the trauma of Sephiroth.) Somebody and Cloud (Because I feel bad about making him insane, then killing him...and sadly he's one of my most favorite characters from the game.) Or...well, I don't know, but Im always open to suggestions.
And, enough of this babbling and onto what you really came here to read...more authors notes! Naw, just kidding, here's the story....but a warning first, this is a angsty chapter, and it mostly revolves Reno's thoughts and that said is warning enough for people who don't like mild profanity, and its short, 'long writing like this means a persons thoughts btw', /one word/ or so is just for the impact, but ah well here it is all the same:
Drying his flaming red hair with a damp towel he pulled on another white cotton shirt, one that was just as creased and lived in as the last, Reno made a feeble attempt at gathering his scattered thoughts as he walked down the wooden stairs to where Tifa was last sitting when he left, wrapped up in the faded yellow towel.
And she was just that, sitting exactly where he had left her, just sitting and staring off into space, her once lively dark chocolate melted orbs dulled out and cooled over, transfixed at the grandfather clock hung onto the bright walls of the kitchen as she moved in her own world, avoid to the time and place around her. The new autumn dress was dripping wet and clung to her shaking body, the towel was thrown over her shoulders and her hands lay limp at her sides, but the thing that snapped his beating heart in two was her expression.
Tifa, the bright, smiling, optimistic, caring women tho melted his heart with her own hearts overflowing kindness wore the very same icy expression that once haunted him in the mirror. That empty expression with no feelings or hope, like a stuffed out candle in an inky black darkness, its light extinguished like all hope, like the cold, unforgiving crystal daggers of this nights rain that could either cleanse or kill.
It was a pity there was nothing remotely cleansing about this rain, this bloody rain that poured out in a thick stream from the crimson clouds above our heads, as it tore through flesh and bone exposing raw emotion in the stinging, throbbing flesh. Rain that reopened old wounds and unleashed another wave of fresh new pain, this time the effect was that of throwing a stone into a still pond, this pain would come back again, ripple after ripple until you got used to it, and slowly it went away.
But that's not true, pain like this /cant/ go away, it will /never/ go away.
Its your very /emotions/ that go away.
It broke his heart to see her this way, to see her lost in her own world, drowning in the sand from the hourglass as it fell down upon her the longer she stayed lost in the memories, until finally there was too much sand, and she would find herself alone and wandering a barren desert.
And by then, it was far too late.
Everything in Reno's life was, in his own words, /fucked/.'My own goddamn family, fucked! My job, a fuckin nightmare!! My reputation, fucked up and dragged through the fuckin dirt!!' His heart met the same fate as those other elements, but it was her that saved him from having another thing in his life dead, gone and yes, /fucked/ as well.
But he would be dammed to sit by and watch as Cloud had succeeded, with flying colors, at /fucking up/ her life, her /happy/ life.
And not after she had saved his own life that night....
True, Tifa never did find out what exactly he was doing at the bar late that night, and it was a good thing that during that nights..../activities/....that she didn't happen to find the bottle of pills in the inside pocket of his dark blue jacket.
That's right./Pills/. You do the math, what does alcohol, and lots of it, plus a bottle of pain killers do to a person?
Exactly what he was planning to do that night, find a quick way out of this never ending (/Fucken/) nightmare that was his reality.
After all, its just another death, no big deal, even if it was his own, and at his very hands.
At the time it seemed like the only way out of ths grave he had bug himself over the years, labeled as the drunkard, womanizer, and heartless killer, he had just about enough of it.
Each day he thought about starting over, never not even once was he /proud/ of what he had done in the past, all he wanted was a new start, a fresh start to try and make everything right in his life, or at the very least a bit better. But, his reputation followed him everyday and everywhere, and finally to a point where that was all people say him as.
By then, a change seemed impossible, however death seemed very plausible.
And, there was nobody around to miss him anyways, Elena had Tseng (Or so she said over the PHS, something about being able to save him in time, to be completely honest Reno was not really paying too much close attention to the rookie's babbling this time.) and Rude was off on another mystery job out of sight and out of his life, leaving Reno to his lonesome.
Well, almost, with the exception of an unexpected meeting of the lone Avalanche fighter. That night Tifa was, strangely enough, in the very same situation as himself, but she would never admit it to anybody else, as would Reno.
As for why she bothered with him, that he would never understand. 'People come and people go, family leaves and friends grow apart...' in the end for him it seemed no matter what happened he stood alone thinking all the time, 'but what the hell, I didn't need anybody anyways, fuck them all to hell....' but that turned out to be the complete opposite from what he really needed.
And he needed her, that's for sure. Tifa was the only one person to hand him that second chance to at least wash some of the blood stains off his hands, to turn the other way and see something in him that was hidden under years worth of accumulated layers of icy scum and dried blood, and after all the hell he put her through she was willing to wave it all aside just like that, she was the single only person to uncover his discarded heart and cast aside the past he tried too hard to forget, she gave him a new life, and one worth living.
But now...but now, he feared she was losing her very life, or lost it already as the last link to her past was severed, it was enough that he walked out in the middle of the night, but this...this was just too much.
And for the first time in god knows how long, something stirred in the back of his eyes as the pain in his heart welled up and erupted in the form of hot, blinding tears blurring his teal gaze, once a gaze unbroken and emotion ridden, now one overflowing with sadness as he could see her crying too, not on the outside maybe, but crying tears in her bleeding heart. Not making even the slightest sound out loud, but antagonizing screams were echoing through her mind, over and over and over as those fresh new ripples of pain shattered the pond of her stigmatized crystal tears as the obvious pain was reflected deep into her wine colored gaze.
Another dagger to his already shredded heart no doubt. If only he could cast his broken heart aside as well, for now only this burning crimson sadness pours from it, but without it he could never feel the joy when he saw her smile, that smile of pure happiness, such a simple thing that he could never really put into words that justified it to its full extent, and that simple smile alone was just enough to steady him through this.
Even if it was another fake smile to mask her real emotions, even if it was just a lit to hide the twisted hate for this horrible life, it was still a smile none the less, and in the end it's the simplest things that can make a big difference in this cruel world.
Cruel, and about to get even crueler.
Not if I can help it...
Wiping aside the tears streaking his face with the sleeve of his shirt he did the only thing he could do, pulled Tifa into a tight embrace with his protective arms wrapped around her shaking, numb figure, they stayed like for hours, until she was warmed and stilled from the convulses, but he still pressed her body onto his, like a lifeline of sorts he cling to her firmly, not just to pull her back but to make sure nothing could take her
Lets kick things of with a big thanks to the latest reviewer, Jaysinya, thanks so much for the comments, I especially liked the one referring to the first chapter, that made me smile.
Like this - ^_^
That being said, I take pride in being the writer of this different, sad and angsty story.
But, these chapters just get shorter and shorter, it seems a lot longer on my word perfect editor, but then I read it and think I can write more then that, so this time I'll try for a longer chapter, and if not I apologize and will follow up with another one soon.
And, sadly three chapters in and im losing ideas for drastic events, such as the bar, Cloud's psychological trauma that lead to death, est...
But, I have some ideas for another one-shot, and this time when I say one- shot I mean one chapter, unlike this one, that expanded, but oh well. Its either going to be a Tifa and Rufus (There's not enough of these.) Tifa and Sephiroth (Well, as a challenge you know, and plus there is lots unwritten about the trauma of Sephiroth.) Somebody and Cloud (Because I feel bad about making him insane, then killing him...and sadly he's one of my most favorite characters from the game.) Or...well, I don't know, but Im always open to suggestions.
And, enough of this babbling and onto what you really came here to read...more authors notes! Naw, just kidding, here's the story....but a warning first, this is a angsty chapter, and it mostly revolves Reno's thoughts and that said is warning enough for people who don't like mild profanity, and its short, 'long writing like this means a persons thoughts btw', /one word/ or so is just for the impact, but ah well here it is all the same:
Drying his flaming red hair with a damp towel he pulled on another white cotton shirt, one that was just as creased and lived in as the last, Reno made a feeble attempt at gathering his scattered thoughts as he walked down the wooden stairs to where Tifa was last sitting when he left, wrapped up in the faded yellow towel.
And she was just that, sitting exactly where he had left her, just sitting and staring off into space, her once lively dark chocolate melted orbs dulled out and cooled over, transfixed at the grandfather clock hung onto the bright walls of the kitchen as she moved in her own world, avoid to the time and place around her. The new autumn dress was dripping wet and clung to her shaking body, the towel was thrown over her shoulders and her hands lay limp at her sides, but the thing that snapped his beating heart in two was her expression.
Tifa, the bright, smiling, optimistic, caring women tho melted his heart with her own hearts overflowing kindness wore the very same icy expression that once haunted him in the mirror. That empty expression with no feelings or hope, like a stuffed out candle in an inky black darkness, its light extinguished like all hope, like the cold, unforgiving crystal daggers of this nights rain that could either cleanse or kill.
It was a pity there was nothing remotely cleansing about this rain, this bloody rain that poured out in a thick stream from the crimson clouds above our heads, as it tore through flesh and bone exposing raw emotion in the stinging, throbbing flesh. Rain that reopened old wounds and unleashed another wave of fresh new pain, this time the effect was that of throwing a stone into a still pond, this pain would come back again, ripple after ripple until you got used to it, and slowly it went away.
But that's not true, pain like this /cant/ go away, it will /never/ go away.
Its your very /emotions/ that go away.
It broke his heart to see her this way, to see her lost in her own world, drowning in the sand from the hourglass as it fell down upon her the longer she stayed lost in the memories, until finally there was too much sand, and she would find herself alone and wandering a barren desert.
And by then, it was far too late.
Everything in Reno's life was, in his own words, /fucked/.'My own goddamn family, fucked! My job, a fuckin nightmare!! My reputation, fucked up and dragged through the fuckin dirt!!' His heart met the same fate as those other elements, but it was her that saved him from having another thing in his life dead, gone and yes, /fucked/ as well.
But he would be dammed to sit by and watch as Cloud had succeeded, with flying colors, at /fucking up/ her life, her /happy/ life.
And not after she had saved his own life that night....
True, Tifa never did find out what exactly he was doing at the bar late that night, and it was a good thing that during that nights..../activities/....that she didn't happen to find the bottle of pills in the inside pocket of his dark blue jacket.
That's right./Pills/. You do the math, what does alcohol, and lots of it, plus a bottle of pain killers do to a person?
Exactly what he was planning to do that night, find a quick way out of this never ending (/Fucken/) nightmare that was his reality.
After all, its just another death, no big deal, even if it was his own, and at his very hands.
At the time it seemed like the only way out of ths grave he had bug himself over the years, labeled as the drunkard, womanizer, and heartless killer, he had just about enough of it.
Each day he thought about starting over, never not even once was he /proud/ of what he had done in the past, all he wanted was a new start, a fresh start to try and make everything right in his life, or at the very least a bit better. But, his reputation followed him everyday and everywhere, and finally to a point where that was all people say him as.
By then, a change seemed impossible, however death seemed very plausible.
And, there was nobody around to miss him anyways, Elena had Tseng (Or so she said over the PHS, something about being able to save him in time, to be completely honest Reno was not really paying too much close attention to the rookie's babbling this time.) and Rude was off on another mystery job out of sight and out of his life, leaving Reno to his lonesome.
Well, almost, with the exception of an unexpected meeting of the lone Avalanche fighter. That night Tifa was, strangely enough, in the very same situation as himself, but she would never admit it to anybody else, as would Reno.
As for why she bothered with him, that he would never understand. 'People come and people go, family leaves and friends grow apart...' in the end for him it seemed no matter what happened he stood alone thinking all the time, 'but what the hell, I didn't need anybody anyways, fuck them all to hell....' but that turned out to be the complete opposite from what he really needed.
And he needed her, that's for sure. Tifa was the only one person to hand him that second chance to at least wash some of the blood stains off his hands, to turn the other way and see something in him that was hidden under years worth of accumulated layers of icy scum and dried blood, and after all the hell he put her through she was willing to wave it all aside just like that, she was the single only person to uncover his discarded heart and cast aside the past he tried too hard to forget, she gave him a new life, and one worth living.
But now...but now, he feared she was losing her very life, or lost it already as the last link to her past was severed, it was enough that he walked out in the middle of the night, but this...this was just too much.
And for the first time in god knows how long, something stirred in the back of his eyes as the pain in his heart welled up and erupted in the form of hot, blinding tears blurring his teal gaze, once a gaze unbroken and emotion ridden, now one overflowing with sadness as he could see her crying too, not on the outside maybe, but crying tears in her bleeding heart. Not making even the slightest sound out loud, but antagonizing screams were echoing through her mind, over and over and over as those fresh new ripples of pain shattered the pond of her stigmatized crystal tears as the obvious pain was reflected deep into her wine colored gaze.
Another dagger to his already shredded heart no doubt. If only he could cast his broken heart aside as well, for now only this burning crimson sadness pours from it, but without it he could never feel the joy when he saw her smile, that smile of pure happiness, such a simple thing that he could never really put into words that justified it to its full extent, and that simple smile alone was just enough to steady him through this.
Even if it was another fake smile to mask her real emotions, even if it was just a lit to hide the twisted hate for this horrible life, it was still a smile none the less, and in the end it's the simplest things that can make a big difference in this cruel world.
Cruel, and about to get even crueler.
Not if I can help it...
Wiping aside the tears streaking his face with the sleeve of his shirt he did the only thing he could do, pulled Tifa into a tight embrace with his protective arms wrapped around her shaking, numb figure, they stayed like for hours, until she was warmed and stilled from the convulses, but he still pressed her body onto his, like a lifeline of sorts he cling to her firmly, not just to pull her back but to make sure nothing could take her