What I've
felt, what I've known
Sick and tired, I stand alone
Could you be there, 'cause I'm the one who waits for you
Or are you unforgiven too?
Two weeks had passed since Harry had run away from Surrey. He had become closer friends with Percy and they confided in each other. Harry had told Percy all his worries about Voldemort, what it was like to watch Sirius die and to be held back from him. When he started to cry telling his new friend how he never got the chance to say good-bye, Percy would hold him close and rub comforting circles on his back. In turn, Percy would tell Harry all his issues, secrets, and fears. He taught Harry a little on the piano, and they were able to play duets together. As time passed they decided it was time to see the rest of the Weasleys.
Harry dressed in the outfit Percy had picked out for him then the two styled their hair. Percy charmed Harry's eyes to look dark blue then placed the make-up over his scar.
'You ready to head out?' Percy asked tying up his shoes. Harry nodded and they headed out to the garage and to Percy's BMW. They got in and Percy picked out a CD to listen to on the way to the Burrow. The CD was Metallica's Reload, and it was quite good.
When they got to the Burrow they had just finished singing The Unforgiven II for the third time as they pulled up.
'Well, here it is, home.' Percy said his eyes getting a look that Harry called "Percy's worried, concerned, sad look" he would get it when he was talking about things that he would write in a dairy or something; the deep stuff.
'We don't have to Perce if you don't think you're ready.' Harry said putting a hand on the older man's shoulder. Percy just shook his head, took in a big breath of air and smiled.
'I'm going to have to face them sooner or later. I have to warn you though; they might act different around you because they wont think you're you. Just, go along with it.' Percy gave one last weak smile before getting out of the car. Harry followed looking up at the Burrow going through his story in his head. When they got to the door, Molly Weasley opened the door smiling brightly, pulling both Harry and Percy into a huge hug then pulled away.
'Mum, this is Mark.' Percy said motioning to Harry.
'Hello,' Harry said with a small smile as they walked in. He looked around the living room acting as if it was his first time there. Just then Charlie came into the living room via the kitchen and leaned against the doorframe. His arms were crossed as he surveyed his younger brother.
'Well, well, well, if it isn't my little brother Percy trying to weasel his way back into our lives after two years. I'm surprised you even showed up at all.' Charlie said with a cool glare. Percy didn't say anything just bowed his head then muttered something before introducing Charlie to "Mark".
'Mark, this is my older brother Charlie. Charlie, this is Mark.'
'So you've brought a long a friend, what lies have you told him?' before anyone could answer Ron came in glaring up at Charlie.
'Leave him alone Charlie, at least he stuck around for 19 years unlike you.' Ron said then walked up to Percy and hugged him. Percy blinked a few times a bit afraid of his brother's actions.
'Ron, are you feeling OK?' Percy asked hugging his youngest brother back awkwardly. Ron pulled away and shrugged.
'Just missed you that's all.'
'Right, uh, Ron, this is Mark. Mark this is my youngest brother Ron.'
'Hello Ron.' Harry said coming out of his state of shock. Ron raised an eyebrow at him as he said hello back. Harry and Percy glanced at each other hoping Ron didn't recognize Harry. Molly smiled at all her sons and at "Mark".
'Well, lets get into the kitchen, Arthur and Bill should be home shortly.' She said and led them into the kitchen. Just then Ginny came into the kitchen singing and blushed when she say Percy and Harry.
'Ginny, this is Mark. Mark, this is my baby sister Ginny.' Harry smiled at Ginny as they all sat down. Fred and George where all ready sitting at the kitchen table talking over the joke shop. They smiled when they saw Harry said a quick hi before going back to their business conversation. When everyone was around the table, and while Molly was cooking dinner, Arthur and Bill came home looking very grave. Molly turned when they came in smiling, but soon frowned.
'What's the matter Arthur?' she asked. Everyone looked to the two men as the tension started to build up in the room. Arthur sighed and cleaned his glasses before he answered.
'It's official; Harry is missing. The Ministry isn't going to make it public though just incase we do find him.'
'What if he doesn't want to be found though?' Percy asked, everyone looked at him and he continued. 'I mean isn't it safer if no one knows where he is? I'm sure he'll turn up by the time school starts.'
'How would you know?' Charlie snapped at him.
'Whoa, back off a little Charlie! I'm just saying you guys never think about what Harry wants. I'm sure he's perfectly safe, and if he is he'll probably write to Ron saying he is safe, just stay calm. Don't go looking for someone who doesn't want to be looked for.' Percy sighed and gave Harry a look to reassure him. 'This conversation is a little low, lets talk about something else all right?' he looked around for a moment fishing for a new subject then he thought of one. 'Quidditch, let's talk about Quidditch, Oliver lost his try-outs sadly, but he's taking an assistant job at Ho-'
'What the fuck is the matter with you Percy? Our practically adopted brother is out there alone somewhere and you don't give a fuck about it! How can you be so fucking calm?!' Charlie yelled getting up and towering over his younger brother.
'Shut the fuck up Charlie! What the hell is your problem?' Percy said also standing up.
'My problem? My problem? I'll tell you what my problem is bitch! You fucking backed out on this family and then you finally come crawling back after two fucking years!'
'I backed out on this family? Fuck, you have that short of a memory? You just about let our baby brother die when he was 5 fucking years old! He was in the fucking ice! You could swim and you just fucking stood there while I jumped in after him! So don't fucking tell me I backed out on this fucking family!' Everyone stared as the two brothers fought. Percy's last comment touched a nerve on Charlie and he punched Percy. Percy touched his nose, which was bleeding; he glared at Charlie and tackled him. Harry and Bill grabbed Percy as he started punching Charlie, they got him away as he was yelling, 'Don't you ever fucking touch me again!' and above the noise Arthur was trying to break them up.
'Take a walk Perce, it's not worth it.' Bill said holding his little brother back. Percy shook Bill and Harry off and walked out of the house. Harry glared at Charlie and rounded on him.
'What the hell is your problem? It took him a lot of guts to come here and you start yelling at him for no reason! I know all about what happed 12 years ago, and what you did is worse then what he did so back off! It was nice meeting the rest of you.' he nodded to the rest of the Weasley's and went to go after Percy. Ron sat there for a moment then went out after Harry to talk to Percy.
'Percy wait!' Ron called running past Harry and to the black BMW. 'Percy, don't go again, you just got home.' Percy stopped fumbling to unlock the door and looked at his younger brother. 'Don't mind Charlie, he's just been a little off lately, his best friend just died and he's trying to get over it.' Ron covered a pleading look in his eyes.
'He still had no right, Ron. Tell mum I love her and I'll see you at Hogwarts.' Percy said looking away from Ron and started to unlock the doors again.
'Why are you going to see me there?' Ron asked moving so Harry could get in.
'I've taken up an assistance job for the Defense Against the Dark Arts classes for Professor Lupin. I'll also be his substitute once a month.'
'Oh, well, see you there then.' Ron looked to the ground and headed back to the house with his hands in his pockets and kicking at a few stones as he walked past them. Percy sighed and got into the BMW, started it, waited until Harry was buckled up and drove off. Neither spoke until the Burrow had disappeared behind the hill and the town of Ottery St. Catchpole was coming up, only then did Harry speak.
'So what did happen 12 years ago?' Percy was silent for a few moments and Harry was about to give up on getting the answer out of him, but Percy spoke.
'It was Christmas holidays, Charlie was home from Hogwarts, Bill stayed at school with his friends. I had just turned nine the month earlier and Ron had been five for quite some time. We were playing outside by the river, everything was covered in snow, the river was frozen over, we didn't know where it was.' Percy took a shaky breath and continued. 'We were playing with a ball that dad had brought home from work and Charlie kicked it out far. Ron went to get it, and when he was coming back the ice cracked and he fell through.' He stared intensely on the road ahead of him as he went though his memory. 'Charlie just stood there, but I took off my coat and ran to where Ron had went under. I jumped in grabbed him just as he was going down and pulled him up. The current was really strong, but I held onto him and got him up.' His voice was quivering now and his eyes were watering. 'He was so cold and his lips were blue. I dragged him to where my coat was, got him out of his wet one and by the time I got my coat on him I collapsed. The last thing I remember was the look on Charlie's face. It was like he didn't care whether or not we died.' He sniffed and looked at his white knuckles. 'I was out for a week and a half, Ron was out for damn near a month.' He wiped away a stray tear. 'You probably never notice, but Ron shakes, it why his writing is so messy.' Percy let out a weak laugh and finally looked at Harry. 'He's going to kill me when he finds out I told you.' He looked back out to the road. Harry looked at his hands thinking about what was just told to him. Now that he thought about it Ron's hands did shake, just not noticeably. Percy's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. 'Ron and I get into a lot of fights, it's natural we're brothers, but we are close to each other. I would risk my life again to save him.' Harry nodded understanding what Percy was saying. The two men in the car didn't talk for the rest of the trip to London; the only noise was coming from the radio, which was currently telling the news, weather, and sports.
Lay beside
me, this won't hurt I swear
She loves me not, she loves me still, but she'll never love again
She lay beside me, But she'll be there when I'm gone
Black heart scarring darker still, yes she'll be there when I'm gone
Yes, she'll be there when I'm gone
Dead sure she'll be there...
Harry woke late the next day. The two had decided to switch off every night from the couch to the bed. It was Harry's turn to sleep on the couch, but the couch was just as comfortable as the bed so neither minded much. Percy was sitting at the piano playing Lestat's Tarantella from Interview with The Vampire. The windows where open and the curtains would caress the piano and the windows like they were making love and when one of the transparent curtains would softly touch his back he would shudder and close his eyes. Harry watched him in awe almost seeing this man in a new light. Every movement Percy created on the piano was like it was planed. The black and white ivory keys were like a skating rink. The sun was coming through the open windows and outlined him so he looked almost like a red headed angel. Percy's face was at perfect peace and Harry couldn't help, but let out a gasp. Percy stopped playing and turned around to see Harry watching him. The curtains stopped moving and everything seemed to stop at that moment.
'I'm sorry Harry, did I wake you?' Percy asked turning back to face the piano.
'No,' Harry answered getting off the couch and going over to sit beside the red-haired angel. 'It was quite nice to wake up to that actually. You didn't have to stop playing.' Percy nodded playing an arpeggio. 'Can I ask you something?'
'Go for it.' Percy answered not looking up at the half naked teen beside him.
'Who was Mark really? You never actually told me.' Percy stopped playing for a second then looked into Harry's emerald eyes before going back to his playing.
'Mark was my boyfriend from Australia, we met at a dance club one night, got totally pissed pierced our tongues and slept together. We were a couple for a few months then he broke up with me.' He sighed getting his worried, concerned, sad look on his face.
'Why did he leave you?' Harry asked playing a few notes.
'He said he wanted someone more interesting,' Percy answered. 'Someone who didn't think about themselves.' He sighed 'Just reminded me yet again that I'm an ugly, boring, stuck up, git with no friends.' He played an ugly chord on the piano. Harry moved closer to Percy and played something very nice while saying.
'I don't think you're an ugly, boring, stuck up, git. I think you're really interesting, nice, and… beautiful.' Percy looked up at Harry and Harry up at Percy. Their eyes met for a moment and they both felt like they were being pulled towards each other, but Percy turned his head away and said the same words he said that first day.
'You should get dressed before breakfast.' Harry nodded, got up and left.
Percy mentally kicked himself for his stupidity, reminding himself that Harry was straight, his brother's best friend, and most definitely not interested. He got up from the piano and went to the kitchen to start breakfast lost in his thoughts. Harry came into the kitchen a few minutes later wearing a black button shirt with a pair of dark blue Brody jeans. He sat at the table asking himself what just happened a few minutes ago. Percy finished cooking breakfast, and set it on the table.
'You should write to Ron today, but date it a few days back so it looks like you are far away.' Percy said sitting down in his usual spot and started eating. Harry nodded and followed suit both still thinking about the morning's events and both telling themselves the same thing: He's not interested.
Breakfast went in silence, and so did the rest of the day. Harry was busy trying to figure out what to write to Ron. Finally he thought of something to write.
Dear Ron,
How is your summer going? Mine is going great; I'm safe and away from the muggles. Sorry if I'm worrying everyone, but I can't tell anyone where I am. I'll see you at the start of term feast.
Harry.
'Percy, can you look this over for me?' Harry asked lazily and yawned. Percy walked over to Harry at the table and leaned over him, reading the short letter. Their cheeks brushed against each other, the arms of their glasses bumping, they could smell the hair gel and deodorant coming off each other and Harry couldn't help, but lean into Percy's arms feeling the depths of his body. All to soon, however, Percy pulled away.
'It looks fine to me,' he said not looking into Harry's emerald eyes. 'I think Ron, will still be worried about you, but at least you reassured him you are going back to school.' Harry nodded folding the letter up.
'Oh shit!' Harry exclaimed. 'Hedwig is at the Burrow! Shit! Shit! Shit!'
'Just use Hermes.' Percy said then gave a very high whistle and through the open window flew in a gray owl. It landed on the back of Harry's chair giving a small hoot to Percy and held out it's leg for a the letter. 'Hold on Hermes.' Percy said grabbing another piece of paper and quickly scribbled:
Mum, and Dad;
Hermes brought this letter to me so I'm just sending it to Ron. Sorry about dinner, and Mark says hi.
Percy.
Percy folded his letter then tied it and Harry's to Hermes' leg, gave him a few owl treats and sent him off.
'Now what do you want to do?' Harry asked watching, as the owl became a speck.
'Watch a movie I guess.' Percy answered walking into the living room and over to the T.V. picking out a film to watch. Harry sat down on the couch and waited for Percy to join him. As the previews rolled Percy went into the kitchen to make some popcorn and get them some coke all the while he was thinking about Harry. Harry, in the living room, thought about Percy and wasn't paying attention at all to the previews. Percy came back in with the snacks and drinks and sat down next to his new friend. Harry slid so he was closer to Percy letting his hand rest on Percy's leg. Percy wrapped his arm around Harry and finally they looked at each other. Cocoa eyes met a deep emerald and for the second time that day they felt like they were being pulled towards each other. Just then there was a knock on the door. Percy sighed and got up leaving Harry to fall on the couch. Harry growled gently and picked himself up waiting for Percy to get back, disappointed about being deprived from his first real responsive kiss again. The redhead came back a few minutes later followed by a young woman with dark brown hair and blue eyes.
'Hello.' She said with a small smile to Harry. Harry nodded to her and looked at Percy who was standing behind her.
'Harry, this is Maria my next-door neighbor. Maria this is my friend Harry.' Percy said rolling eyes to the back of Maria's head. Harry tried not to laugh at the look. 'I'll go get you something to drink.' He said and left into the kitchen. Maria sat down next to Harry really close still wearing that stupid grin.
'I suppose Percy talks about me non-stop?' Maria said trying to start up a conversation.
'Not overly, why would he?' Harry asked moving over a little.
'I am his girl friend,' she answered then added, 'well, not yet, but soon. I know he's dying to be my boyfriend and I just broke up with Jason yesterday so I'm totally available for him.' She giggled a little and Harry felt a pulling sensation in his chest. 'Oh, I'll be right back!' Maria said, got up and went into the bedroom and to the bathroom. Percy came back and sat down beside Harry again.
'I'm so sorry about that Harry, I didn't think she was going to come over.' Percy apologized in a low voice. Harry just shrugged, but didn't look at Percy, instead he just stared at the T.V. and didn't care that when Maria came back that she sat in between them. For the next two and a half hours of the movie Harry didn't do anything just stared at the screen only half aware of the petting going on between Percy and Maria.
What I've
felt, what I've known
Turn the pages, turn the stone
Behind the door, should I open it for you...
(A.N.: If nothing is ever clear in the chapters, just wait until the very, very end. It'll be clear then. And sorry for the long waits in between chapters, this is a tricky fic.)