I'm Still Yours
-thelonelyone
A/N: This is just something that I have wanted to write for a while now... I've always thought Harm would make a damn sexy poet... so I made him a poet and used poetry to pull him and Mac together.... This piece is short, and it ends abruptly. There will be no follow up to this... I'm leaving the rest up to you... Use your imagination as to what happens next... Hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it...
And now, for a brief delve into my mind, heart, and soul....
"What is going on with me? I'm more depressed than I think I've ever been... Someone please enlighten me... What does she not see in me that she sees in him? Am I not strong enough to catch her if she stumbles and falls? Or am I just not enough? I thought I was everything that she needed... I guess I forgot to tell her that I fell in love... I forgot to tell her that when the sun rises, I wake up and wish she was beside me. I forgot to tell her that I'm sorry, that I can't live without her. I have kept all of this inside me. She has turned me into only half of a man. Without her I am not complete. She has turned me into a desperate man, one full of regret, sadness, and need. I regret not taking her into my arms to keep her safe from the storm. I regret that those are not my arms that protect her and keep her warm. I am torn apart because I know I have lost her. I let her go without putting up a fight. I am torn apart because I know she is gone. I can't eat, and sleep no longer comes at night. I need to tell her all of this, but I utter not a word. I need to tell her all of this, but fatal silence is heard. And thus, by silence I seal my own fate. I love her, but it's too late..."
Harriett was taken by the simple, honest poem she had just read. It was his handwriting, she was sure of it... And he could only have been writing about one woman. She sighed, torn between putting the crumpled piece of paper back into the trashcan and marching over to the Colonel and handing the crumpled paper to her. It was in times like these that she wished she could just not get involved, just let things slide, just ignore the facts and for once not stir things up. But she could never do any of those things, and so she casually made her way to the Colonel's office and knocked lightly on the door.
"Enter." Mac called out, expecting to look up and see Harm. It was Harriet.
"Ma'am, excuse me, but I think I have stumbled across something that you need to read." With that said, Harriett handed her friend the crumpled sheet of paper and walked out of the office, closing the door behind her.
Mac looked down at the paper. Whatever it was, she knew Harm had written it. She began to read.
"What is going on with me? I'm more depressed than I think I've ever been... Someone please enlighten me... What does she not see in me that she sees in him? Am I not strong enough to catch her if she stumbles and falls? Or am I just not enough? I thought I was everything that she needed... I guess I forgot to tell her that I fell in love... I forgot to tell her that when the sun rises, I wake up and wish she was beside me. I forgot to tell her that I'm sorry, that I can't live without her. I have kept all of this inside me. She has turned me into only half of a man. Without her I am not complete. She has turned me into a desperate man, one full of regret, sadness, and need. I regret not taking her into my arms to keep her safe from the storm. I regret that those are not my arms that protect her and keep her warm. I am torn apart because I know I have lost her. I let her go without putting up a fight. I am torn apart because I know she is gone. I can't eat, and sleep no longer comes at night. I need to tell her all of this, but I utter not a word. I need to tell her all of this, but fatal silence is heard. And thus, by silence I seal my own fate. I love her, but it's too late..."
She stared at the simple, honest expression of love, tears making their way down her face. There was no doubt that it was his handwriting, but Harm a poet? He could deliver a passionate tirade in court, but she had never imagined that he would creatively express on paper what only went through his mind. As much as she was going to tell herself that the poem was not about her, deep down inside she knew the truth.
There was a knock at the door.
She quickly hid the piece of paper by her side and wiped the tears away as she shakily called out, "Enter."
"Hey, Mac, I was wondering if you were interested in..." He stopped mid- sentence, noticing that she had been crying. "Hey, Mac... What's wrong? Have you been crying" He asked, immediately by her side, resting a reassuring hand on her shoulder.
She looked up at him and tried to smile. "I'm okay, Harm... I just read something that got me a little emotional, that's all. You were wondering if I was interested in what?" She asked, trying to change the subject.
"Mac... You don't just cry for no reason. Now, c'mon... What's wrong?" He asked, taking her by the hand and pulling her in a standing position.
"Harm, I'm fine, really..." She began but stopped, knowing that this little charade was not going to work. He knew her too well.
"Mac, you can tell me anything... I'm your best friend, remember?" He said, looking her in the eyes, his face informing her that he was concerned but was trying to remain calm and collected.
"I read something that just completely broke my heart and it made me cry. I'm a Marine, Harm, but I am still human..." She said, trying to explain, trying to make him understand.
"I know you are... You don't have to be tough with me.. I know you're strong, but I also know that even the strongest sometimes break down... What was it that you read?" He asked, yet to notice the piece of crumpled paper by her side.
"This." She said, handing him the piece of paper.
His eyes went wide as he recognized the piece of paper that she held in her hand. It was the poem he had written while not paying attention in the conference room this morning. Hadn't he thrown it away?
"Where did you get that?" He asked, taking the piece of paper, glancing at the familiar truths.
"That's not what's important... Did you write this?" She asked, already knowing the answer.
"I did." He answered, avoiding making eye contact with her.
"Who are you talking about in this poem, Harm?" She asked, preparing herself for any and all possible answers.
"No one was supposed to read that. I wrote it this morning and balled it up. I threw it away on my way out of the conference room." He said, dodging her question.
"Who is it about, Harm?" She asked, awaiting his answer patiently.
"You know who it's about, Mac." He said, finally making eye contact with her. The truth in his eyes matched the truth she had felt coursing through her veins from the moment she had read the first two lines of the confession.
"Who, Harm? Who are you writing about?" She asked, needing to know, needing to hear him say it...
"You." Came his whisper of a reply.
"Are you in love with me?" She asked, her voice shaky and uneven.
"Yes." He replied, his sad eyes telling her the story of a man who had loved and lost.
"You think you've lost me?" She asked, looking up into pools of emotions that she did not recognize.
"You're with him, Mac. I'm alone." He answered, his voice deep and expressive.
"How do you know that I'm not still yours?" She asked, her heart breaking as she saw the defeat and anguish written all over his face.
"You were never mine, Mac." He answered, his voice full, not of bitterness, but of regret and sorrow.
"That's where you're wrong. I was yours, but you didn't know it. I didn't tell you, so how could you have known?" She asked, feeling a sinking feeling settle in her stomach. This was not going to be easy.
"I think I knew it... I was just too damn scared. By the time I realized how I felt, you were gone and I was left to dig my own grave and kick myself in." He said, letting out a sigh.
"I'm not gone, Harm... I'm standing right here in front of you..." She said, trying but failing to get him to understand...
"I know that, Mac." He said, his voice a whisper once more.
"And I'm still yours..." She said, feeling her heart leap out of her chest and into his hands. It was up to him now...
"You're still mine?" He asked, confused but hopeful.
"I have waited for you... I'm still yours." She said, tears welling up in her eyes.
"Aw, Mac... Don't cry... Please.." He begged, pulling her into his arms. "Don't cry... I never meant to hurt you... All I've ever wanted to do is love you..."
"I know..." She said, wiping her tears away and looking up into his teary eyes.
"I love you, Mac." He said, finally ready to let go, to commit to her.
"I love you too." She said, knowing that from this moment on, things would be different for them.
"Will you marry me?" He asked, a wave of nervousness washing over him.
"Yes." She said, crying once again.
"Baby, don't cry..." He said, tears making their way down his face.
"When?" She asked, beginning to smile but still wiping away tears.
"Tomorrow evening at sunset. No one but our closest friends and family..." He said, kissing her on the forehead.
"Tomorrow..." She repeated, nodding in approval.
"We'll tell the Admiral and make a formal announcement. I'm ready to start the rest of my life with you..." He said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small black velvet box. For some reason, he had been carrying the ring around in his pocket for going on three months. His mother had given it to him and told him not to miss out on the best thing that has ever happened to him. At the time, he knew his mother was referring to Mac, but making his dream a reality seemed impossible. He was beginning to learn to never underestimate the impossible.
She gasped and stared crying again. "What if someone sees you?" She asked, watching him get down on one knee.
"Then they'll know that you're about to make me the happiest man in the world... Sarah, be mine for all of eternity." He said, taking her hand and slipping a simple diamond on her finger.
"Oh, my God... I've got to call Chloe!" She said, fighting back tears and smiling as he stood back up and took her into his arms. "I love you, Harm."
"I know, and I love you too- always and forever... Come with me..." He said, taking her by the hand and escorting her up to the Admiral. "Excuse me, Sir, may the Colonel and I speak to you for a moment?"
The Admiral looked down and noticed that they were hand in hand. "In my office..." He barked, grumpy and disagreeable as always.
After meeting with the Admiral, Harm and Mac agreed to make an announcement.
"Admiral on deck!" Petty Officer Coates yelled out.
Everyone in the bullpen stood at attention.
"As you were." The Admiral said with a smile. "Commander Rabb and Colonel Mackenzie would like to make a formal announcement. Gather around, people, you're all going to want to hear this one..."
The announcement was made and all at once Harm and Mac were surrounded by friends. Harriett was crying, Bud was shaking Harm's hand excessively and congratulating him, and Jennifer just smiled, flashing Harm a "it's about time" look...
The rest of his life had been forever changed because of a poem... Poetry: what a beautiful choice...
The End.
Hope you enjoyed it! Poetry rocks!! And so does the thought of Harm and Mac getting together... Two episodes left, people... What will I do with my Friday nights for the rest of my life?! (Oh, hell, at least there will be reruns on USA!!)
A/N: This is just something that I have wanted to write for a while now... I've always thought Harm would make a damn sexy poet... so I made him a poet and used poetry to pull him and Mac together.... This piece is short, and it ends abruptly. There will be no follow up to this... I'm leaving the rest up to you... Use your imagination as to what happens next... Hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it...
And now, for a brief delve into my mind, heart, and soul....
"What is going on with me? I'm more depressed than I think I've ever been... Someone please enlighten me... What does she not see in me that she sees in him? Am I not strong enough to catch her if she stumbles and falls? Or am I just not enough? I thought I was everything that she needed... I guess I forgot to tell her that I fell in love... I forgot to tell her that when the sun rises, I wake up and wish she was beside me. I forgot to tell her that I'm sorry, that I can't live without her. I have kept all of this inside me. She has turned me into only half of a man. Without her I am not complete. She has turned me into a desperate man, one full of regret, sadness, and need. I regret not taking her into my arms to keep her safe from the storm. I regret that those are not my arms that protect her and keep her warm. I am torn apart because I know I have lost her. I let her go without putting up a fight. I am torn apart because I know she is gone. I can't eat, and sleep no longer comes at night. I need to tell her all of this, but I utter not a word. I need to tell her all of this, but fatal silence is heard. And thus, by silence I seal my own fate. I love her, but it's too late..."
Harriett was taken by the simple, honest poem she had just read. It was his handwriting, she was sure of it... And he could only have been writing about one woman. She sighed, torn between putting the crumpled piece of paper back into the trashcan and marching over to the Colonel and handing the crumpled paper to her. It was in times like these that she wished she could just not get involved, just let things slide, just ignore the facts and for once not stir things up. But she could never do any of those things, and so she casually made her way to the Colonel's office and knocked lightly on the door.
"Enter." Mac called out, expecting to look up and see Harm. It was Harriet.
"Ma'am, excuse me, but I think I have stumbled across something that you need to read." With that said, Harriett handed her friend the crumpled sheet of paper and walked out of the office, closing the door behind her.
Mac looked down at the paper. Whatever it was, she knew Harm had written it. She began to read.
"What is going on with me? I'm more depressed than I think I've ever been... Someone please enlighten me... What does she not see in me that she sees in him? Am I not strong enough to catch her if she stumbles and falls? Or am I just not enough? I thought I was everything that she needed... I guess I forgot to tell her that I fell in love... I forgot to tell her that when the sun rises, I wake up and wish she was beside me. I forgot to tell her that I'm sorry, that I can't live without her. I have kept all of this inside me. She has turned me into only half of a man. Without her I am not complete. She has turned me into a desperate man, one full of regret, sadness, and need. I regret not taking her into my arms to keep her safe from the storm. I regret that those are not my arms that protect her and keep her warm. I am torn apart because I know I have lost her. I let her go without putting up a fight. I am torn apart because I know she is gone. I can't eat, and sleep no longer comes at night. I need to tell her all of this, but I utter not a word. I need to tell her all of this, but fatal silence is heard. And thus, by silence I seal my own fate. I love her, but it's too late..."
She stared at the simple, honest expression of love, tears making their way down her face. There was no doubt that it was his handwriting, but Harm a poet? He could deliver a passionate tirade in court, but she had never imagined that he would creatively express on paper what only went through his mind. As much as she was going to tell herself that the poem was not about her, deep down inside she knew the truth.
There was a knock at the door.
She quickly hid the piece of paper by her side and wiped the tears away as she shakily called out, "Enter."
"Hey, Mac, I was wondering if you were interested in..." He stopped mid- sentence, noticing that she had been crying. "Hey, Mac... What's wrong? Have you been crying" He asked, immediately by her side, resting a reassuring hand on her shoulder.
She looked up at him and tried to smile. "I'm okay, Harm... I just read something that got me a little emotional, that's all. You were wondering if I was interested in what?" She asked, trying to change the subject.
"Mac... You don't just cry for no reason. Now, c'mon... What's wrong?" He asked, taking her by the hand and pulling her in a standing position.
"Harm, I'm fine, really..." She began but stopped, knowing that this little charade was not going to work. He knew her too well.
"Mac, you can tell me anything... I'm your best friend, remember?" He said, looking her in the eyes, his face informing her that he was concerned but was trying to remain calm and collected.
"I read something that just completely broke my heart and it made me cry. I'm a Marine, Harm, but I am still human..." She said, trying to explain, trying to make him understand.
"I know you are... You don't have to be tough with me.. I know you're strong, but I also know that even the strongest sometimes break down... What was it that you read?" He asked, yet to notice the piece of crumpled paper by her side.
"This." She said, handing him the piece of paper.
His eyes went wide as he recognized the piece of paper that she held in her hand. It was the poem he had written while not paying attention in the conference room this morning. Hadn't he thrown it away?
"Where did you get that?" He asked, taking the piece of paper, glancing at the familiar truths.
"That's not what's important... Did you write this?" She asked, already knowing the answer.
"I did." He answered, avoiding making eye contact with her.
"Who are you talking about in this poem, Harm?" She asked, preparing herself for any and all possible answers.
"No one was supposed to read that. I wrote it this morning and balled it up. I threw it away on my way out of the conference room." He said, dodging her question.
"Who is it about, Harm?" She asked, awaiting his answer patiently.
"You know who it's about, Mac." He said, finally making eye contact with her. The truth in his eyes matched the truth she had felt coursing through her veins from the moment she had read the first two lines of the confession.
"Who, Harm? Who are you writing about?" She asked, needing to know, needing to hear him say it...
"You." Came his whisper of a reply.
"Are you in love with me?" She asked, her voice shaky and uneven.
"Yes." He replied, his sad eyes telling her the story of a man who had loved and lost.
"You think you've lost me?" She asked, looking up into pools of emotions that she did not recognize.
"You're with him, Mac. I'm alone." He answered, his voice deep and expressive.
"How do you know that I'm not still yours?" She asked, her heart breaking as she saw the defeat and anguish written all over his face.
"You were never mine, Mac." He answered, his voice full, not of bitterness, but of regret and sorrow.
"That's where you're wrong. I was yours, but you didn't know it. I didn't tell you, so how could you have known?" She asked, feeling a sinking feeling settle in her stomach. This was not going to be easy.
"I think I knew it... I was just too damn scared. By the time I realized how I felt, you were gone and I was left to dig my own grave and kick myself in." He said, letting out a sigh.
"I'm not gone, Harm... I'm standing right here in front of you..." She said, trying but failing to get him to understand...
"I know that, Mac." He said, his voice a whisper once more.
"And I'm still yours..." She said, feeling her heart leap out of her chest and into his hands. It was up to him now...
"You're still mine?" He asked, confused but hopeful.
"I have waited for you... I'm still yours." She said, tears welling up in her eyes.
"Aw, Mac... Don't cry... Please.." He begged, pulling her into his arms. "Don't cry... I never meant to hurt you... All I've ever wanted to do is love you..."
"I know..." She said, wiping her tears away and looking up into his teary eyes.
"I love you, Mac." He said, finally ready to let go, to commit to her.
"I love you too." She said, knowing that from this moment on, things would be different for them.
"Will you marry me?" He asked, a wave of nervousness washing over him.
"Yes." She said, crying once again.
"Baby, don't cry..." He said, tears making their way down his face.
"When?" She asked, beginning to smile but still wiping away tears.
"Tomorrow evening at sunset. No one but our closest friends and family..." He said, kissing her on the forehead.
"Tomorrow..." She repeated, nodding in approval.
"We'll tell the Admiral and make a formal announcement. I'm ready to start the rest of my life with you..." He said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small black velvet box. For some reason, he had been carrying the ring around in his pocket for going on three months. His mother had given it to him and told him not to miss out on the best thing that has ever happened to him. At the time, he knew his mother was referring to Mac, but making his dream a reality seemed impossible. He was beginning to learn to never underestimate the impossible.
She gasped and stared crying again. "What if someone sees you?" She asked, watching him get down on one knee.
"Then they'll know that you're about to make me the happiest man in the world... Sarah, be mine for all of eternity." He said, taking her hand and slipping a simple diamond on her finger.
"Oh, my God... I've got to call Chloe!" She said, fighting back tears and smiling as he stood back up and took her into his arms. "I love you, Harm."
"I know, and I love you too- always and forever... Come with me..." He said, taking her by the hand and escorting her up to the Admiral. "Excuse me, Sir, may the Colonel and I speak to you for a moment?"
The Admiral looked down and noticed that they were hand in hand. "In my office..." He barked, grumpy and disagreeable as always.
After meeting with the Admiral, Harm and Mac agreed to make an announcement.
"Admiral on deck!" Petty Officer Coates yelled out.
Everyone in the bullpen stood at attention.
"As you were." The Admiral said with a smile. "Commander Rabb and Colonel Mackenzie would like to make a formal announcement. Gather around, people, you're all going to want to hear this one..."
The announcement was made and all at once Harm and Mac were surrounded by friends. Harriett was crying, Bud was shaking Harm's hand excessively and congratulating him, and Jennifer just smiled, flashing Harm a "it's about time" look...
The rest of his life had been forever changed because of a poem... Poetry: what a beautiful choice...
The End.
Hope you enjoyed it! Poetry rocks!! And so does the thought of Harm and Mac getting together... Two episodes left, people... What will I do with my Friday nights for the rest of my life?! (Oh, hell, at least there will be reruns on USA!!)