New Mobile Morphin Power Rangers W
A parody fanfic combining Zyurangers (Mighty Morphin Power Rangers season 1) and New Mobile Report Gundam W(ing)
[As if it weren't obvious by the title...]
Written by Preventer Void (aka AmuroNT1)
With special thanks to the GnBS, Titans/Crossbone Vanguard, Andrea, Karen, and everyone else who gave me inspiration and evil.
WARNING: Although this is a parody of a children's show, this fic received a rating of PG-13 due to violence, language and adult situations.
--------------------
Episode 1: Rise of the Rangers
(The scene opens with a landscape of the moon, with Earth hanging in open space. Two astronauts leap across the landscape.)
Astronaut 1: Mission Control, this is Artemis 1. We're on the moon's surface and...Gary, is that what I think it is?
Astronaut 2: I hope not. Last thing I need is to get sent to an asylum when I get home.
(They continue leaping until they reach the object in question...an ordinary-looking green dumpster.)
Astronaut 1: How the heck did this thing get...?
(As he opens the lid, a swirl of energy knocks the two men down. The energy coalesces into the shape of an oddly-dressed woman.)
Dorothy Dementia: Ha ha-ACK! (she starts suffocating due to the lack of air, then uses her magic to create a space suit) That's better. Come out here, you lazy bums!
(From the dumpster emerge her minions: Zechs the gold-armored knight, Quinze the monster-maker, and their flunkies Alex and
Mueller. She gives each of them a space suit.)
Dorothy: It's been ten thousand years, but we're finally free! Now, to get back to conquering the universe! Zechs, what's the next planet we take over?
(Zechs pulls out a Twister-style spinner wheel and flicks the pointer. It comes to a stop on Earth, and he pauses to read the name.)
Zechs: Um...Earth, my lady.
Dorothy: Excellent! Now let's find... (she turns around and sees the planet) ...Oh, that's convenient. Now, to build a base of operations!
---
(In a bizarre-looking base somewhere in the mountains...)
Treize: Alpha 5, we're needed. Dorothy has escaped her dumpster prison. It's time to summon the Power Rangers.
Alpha: Aye-yi-yi! I hoped this day would never come...let's find those kids! (he begins fiddling with the instrument panels)
Treize: Recruit a team of teenagers with attitudes.
Alpha: (he looks up at Treize) But doesn't EVERYONE have an attitude? I mean, isn't it just a matter of personal preference what is and isn't...
Treize: Just summon the kids, you walking toaster.
---
(Back in the city, a group of five teenagers is hanging out in one of the oddest places...)
Duo: Ah, it's fun to stay at the YMCA!
Relena: But I'm not a young man.
Wu Fei: I'm not Christian.
Trowa: And we're hardly an association.
Duo: (sulking) ...Killjoys.
Wu Fei: Maxwell, why are we even here? The only people who actually go to this place are the elderly and homosexuals.
(All eyes turn to Quatre.)
Quatre: ...What?!
---
(On the moon, Dorothy's base is finally completed.)
Dorothy: Perfect! A new world, ripe for the conquest. Well, we should test their defenses before we launch a full assault. Quinze! We need some Leo Patrollers!
Quinze: Right away, my lady.
(He places an armload of Leo models onto the conveyor belt of an odd-looking contraption. They get moved inside a large box, then a large funnel begins spraying smoke and, eventually, a small army of human-sized Leos.
Dorothy: Now, my pets, go and subjugate that planet!
(In a chorus of strange beeping sounds, they turn into balls of light and fly towards the planet.)
---
(In the park...)
Duo: Man, could a day get any prettier than this?
Wu Fei: (behind him with the others) Why do we still let this braided idiot pick where we hang out?
Trowa: All those in favor of bum rushing him and going to a club, raise your hands.
(All four of them hold their hands up.)
Trowa: It's settled then. On the count of three...
Duo: Look at the clouds! Feel the sun!
Trowa: One...two...THREE!
(Just as they jump, all five turn into glowing streaks of energy that fly off into the sky.)
---
(Inside the Command Center, the forms of the teens re-appear.)
Duo: (his eyes closed) The blue sky...the green grass...
(WHAM!)
Duo: ...The cold, hard floor...ow... (he passes out)
(The others all rise to their feet.)
Relena: What the...? What happened to the park?
Quatre: Maybe he put something in our drinks.
Wu Fei: What?! (He grabs Duo by the collar and starts shaking him.) Maxwell, if this is your sick idea of a prank, I'm gonna stick my sword right up your...
Alpha: Aye-yi-yi! It's really you!
(The kids, including the now-conscious Duo, look at the bizarre robot as it spazzes out.)
Alpha: I never thought this day would come, but here yo-
(Before he can continue, Wu Fei punches into his chest and yanks out some vital-looking component. Alpha slumps over, lifeless.)
Wu Fei: I hate weak people and robots.
Treize: Thank you! I can't count the times I've wished for arms so I could shut that annoying machine down.
(They all turn and see the giant head in a tube.)
Trowa: Who...
Treize: I am Treize, guardian of the Morphin Grid and keeper of the Power Coins.
(Duo suddenly recovers, looking very interested.)
Quatre: Why aren't your lips moving?
Treize: Low special effects budget. But I digress...You five have been chosen to defend the planet from the unspeakable evil of Dorothy Dementia, the space witch.
(They all raise their eyebrows skeptically, except for Duo.)
Duo: Wait...are you saying...
Treize: You shall become the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.
(Duo gets sparkly eyes and screams like an excited school girl.)
Trowa: Calm down, Duo, I didn't bring your diaper bag.
Treize: Um, hello? I'm making you guys into the ultimate fighting team here. What do you think of that?
Wu Fei: What do we think?
(All of them look at each other, then fall to the floor in a fit of hysteria.)
Duo: (hyper) C'mon guys, we're gonna be Rangers!
Relena: (between laughs) Yeah, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers!
(They all laugh harder.)
Wu Fei: And I bet we'll fight injustice and evil by moonlight, won't we?
Quatre: No, we'd all have to be girls for that one.
(They think about this for a minute, then burst out laughing again.)
Treize: (giant sweatdrop) Maybe they've got a little too
much attitude...
(The teens finally recover from their laughter and get up to leave.)
Duo: (glomping onto Trowa's arm) Come on, man, Rangers!
Trowa: You mean you want us to put on goofy-looking spandex costumes, do silly poses and leap around like ballerinas?
Duo: Well...maybe, I guess...
(The others try to keep from laughing again.)
Trowa: How about...no?
Treize: (blood vessels on his forehead) Alright, that's IT! You kids get back here and become Rangers right now!
(When he looks up, everyone but Duo is gone.)
Treize: ...
Duo: (sweatdropping) Uh...I'll go try to talk some sense into them. (He runs off after them.)
(Outside, the guys are walking away at a brisk pace.)
Relena: Jeez, it looks even worse on the outside. Ultra-modern gone wrong or something.
(Duo comes running up to them.)
Duo: Heeeeeey! What'll it take to convince you guys to listen to the talking head?
Quatre: Well, for starters they'll have to write a better song than "Burning Down the House".
(Everyone snickers.)
Wu Fei: It's official, that was the worst experience of my life.
Trowa: What about that time you were an extra in the Chow Yun-Fat movie where they used live ammunition?
Wu Fei: Well, I brought my bulletproof vest to that just in case.
Trowa: Ah.
(As they reach Generic Wasteland Set #31, the Leo Patrollers appear and surround them, beeping and booping the whole time.)
Quatre: Did I miss something? When did we wander onto the set of Ultraman?
Relena: Um, isn't anyone else bothered that we're being accosted by freaks made of ABS plastic?
Wu Fei: Bah, these guys are pathetic.
(He tries to walk past them, but a pair grab his arms while a third starts punching him in the gut.)
Trowa: What the...?!
(He gets jump-kicked in the face, then dragged off for more beating. Soon, everyone is being trashed except for...)
Duo: You know, guys, there's only one way to beat these creeps...
The others: NO!
Duo: But...
Wu Fei: Fuck off!
Relena: In your dreams, Braid-Boy!
Quatre: No way!
Trowa: Absolutely not!
Duo: (shrugging) Fine, I guess you'll just get killed by a bunch of cannon fodder.
Everyone else: ...Alright, alright!
Duo: (happy) I knew you'd see it my way!
(Reluctantly and very angrily, they throw off the Leos and reach behind their backs. Thrusting their Morphers forwards, they all shout, with varying degrees of enthusiasm...)
All: IT'S MORPHIN' TIME!
(Cue the stock footage transformation sequence. When it ends, the five are wearing the leotards and helmets of the Power Rangers.)
Relena: (looking at herself) Dammit, I spent so long convincing people that I wasn't obsessed with pink, and now...
Duo: (hopping up and down as if on the biggest sugar rush ever) Yeah! This is so awesome! We're Rangers now!
Wu Fei: (drawing his Light Blaster) Can I shoot him? I have a gun right here...
Trowa: Save it until we deal with the glue-and-paint freaks. Everybody ready?
(Everyone except Duo draws their guns.)
Duo: Waitasec, we're supposed to fight them with our martial arts skills!
Quatre: Um, reality check? Wu Fei's the only one with any formal training.
Wu Fei: Besides, it's much easier this way.
Duo: (whining) But guuuuuuys...
(They begin blasting, ripping the thinly-armored Leo Patrollers to pieces.)
Duo: You're doing it all wrong!
Trowa: We're alive, they're not. I wouldn't call that wrong.
(They all get teleported back to the Command Center, where they de-transform.)
Treize: Well, look who came crawling back...
Quatre: Whatever. You're the one who teleported us, Mr. Big Giant Head.
Treize: (giant anime blood vessel) Look, you used the suits. You're the Rangers, til death you do part. Capeesh?
Everyone except Duo: WHAT?!
Duo: Yay!
Treize: So, what do you say?
(The other four look at each other, nod in agreement, then storm out of the building, flipping the giant head off.)
Treize: ...This is gonna take some work.
---
(Back on the Moon...)
Alex: My Lady, it seems that the Leos were defeated by a team of spandex-wearing teenagers.
Dorothy: ...Spandex? Teenagers?
(In a flurry, she runs off and returns with a decaying parchment.)
Dorothy: Shit, the prophecy said that one day, a group of ethnically diverse teenagers would rise to oppose me...and now it's coming true!
Quinze: Wait a second, you call THAT "ethnically diverse"? They're all white!
Zechs: Actually, they're all have different nationalities.
Quinze: But they don't look it!
(They begin to debate, with Alex and Mueller joining in.)
Dorothy: Oooh, I can feel that migraine coming on...
(END)
--------------------
...I'm sorry, but I had to write this. Just too good not to. Of course, any astute reader already knows what's coming, so there's no need for a preview, right? Peace out, y'all!
...And since it's come to my attention that I was a little vague about who's who...
Duo = Black Ranger
Relena = Pink Ranger
Wu Fei = Blue Ranger
Quatre = Yellow Ranger
Trowa = Red Ranger
????? = Green Ranger (coughi'mbeingtooobviouscough)
A parody fanfic combining Zyurangers (Mighty Morphin Power Rangers season 1) and New Mobile Report Gundam W(ing)
[As if it weren't obvious by the title...]
Written by Preventer Void (aka AmuroNT1)
With special thanks to the GnBS, Titans/Crossbone Vanguard, Andrea, Karen, and everyone else who gave me inspiration and evil.
WARNING: Although this is a parody of a children's show, this fic received a rating of PG-13 due to violence, language and adult situations.
--------------------
Episode 1: Rise of the Rangers
(The scene opens with a landscape of the moon, with Earth hanging in open space. Two astronauts leap across the landscape.)
Astronaut 1: Mission Control, this is Artemis 1. We're on the moon's surface and...Gary, is that what I think it is?
Astronaut 2: I hope not. Last thing I need is to get sent to an asylum when I get home.
(They continue leaping until they reach the object in question...an ordinary-looking green dumpster.)
Astronaut 1: How the heck did this thing get...?
(As he opens the lid, a swirl of energy knocks the two men down. The energy coalesces into the shape of an oddly-dressed woman.)
Dorothy Dementia: Ha ha-ACK! (she starts suffocating due to the lack of air, then uses her magic to create a space suit) That's better. Come out here, you lazy bums!
(From the dumpster emerge her minions: Zechs the gold-armored knight, Quinze the monster-maker, and their flunkies Alex and
Mueller. She gives each of them a space suit.)
Dorothy: It's been ten thousand years, but we're finally free! Now, to get back to conquering the universe! Zechs, what's the next planet we take over?
(Zechs pulls out a Twister-style spinner wheel and flicks the pointer. It comes to a stop on Earth, and he pauses to read the name.)
Zechs: Um...Earth, my lady.
Dorothy: Excellent! Now let's find... (she turns around and sees the planet) ...Oh, that's convenient. Now, to build a base of operations!
---
(In a bizarre-looking base somewhere in the mountains...)
Treize: Alpha 5, we're needed. Dorothy has escaped her dumpster prison. It's time to summon the Power Rangers.
Alpha: Aye-yi-yi! I hoped this day would never come...let's find those kids! (he begins fiddling with the instrument panels)
Treize: Recruit a team of teenagers with attitudes.
Alpha: (he looks up at Treize) But doesn't EVERYONE have an attitude? I mean, isn't it just a matter of personal preference what is and isn't...
Treize: Just summon the kids, you walking toaster.
---
(Back in the city, a group of five teenagers is hanging out in one of the oddest places...)
Duo: Ah, it's fun to stay at the YMCA!
Relena: But I'm not a young man.
Wu Fei: I'm not Christian.
Trowa: And we're hardly an association.
Duo: (sulking) ...Killjoys.
Wu Fei: Maxwell, why are we even here? The only people who actually go to this place are the elderly and homosexuals.
(All eyes turn to Quatre.)
Quatre: ...What?!
---
(On the moon, Dorothy's base is finally completed.)
Dorothy: Perfect! A new world, ripe for the conquest. Well, we should test their defenses before we launch a full assault. Quinze! We need some Leo Patrollers!
Quinze: Right away, my lady.
(He places an armload of Leo models onto the conveyor belt of an odd-looking contraption. They get moved inside a large box, then a large funnel begins spraying smoke and, eventually, a small army of human-sized Leos.
Dorothy: Now, my pets, go and subjugate that planet!
(In a chorus of strange beeping sounds, they turn into balls of light and fly towards the planet.)
---
(In the park...)
Duo: Man, could a day get any prettier than this?
Wu Fei: (behind him with the others) Why do we still let this braided idiot pick where we hang out?
Trowa: All those in favor of bum rushing him and going to a club, raise your hands.
(All four of them hold their hands up.)
Trowa: It's settled then. On the count of three...
Duo: Look at the clouds! Feel the sun!
Trowa: One...two...THREE!
(Just as they jump, all five turn into glowing streaks of energy that fly off into the sky.)
---
(Inside the Command Center, the forms of the teens re-appear.)
Duo: (his eyes closed) The blue sky...the green grass...
(WHAM!)
Duo: ...The cold, hard floor...ow... (he passes out)
(The others all rise to their feet.)
Relena: What the...? What happened to the park?
Quatre: Maybe he put something in our drinks.
Wu Fei: What?! (He grabs Duo by the collar and starts shaking him.) Maxwell, if this is your sick idea of a prank, I'm gonna stick my sword right up your...
Alpha: Aye-yi-yi! It's really you!
(The kids, including the now-conscious Duo, look at the bizarre robot as it spazzes out.)
Alpha: I never thought this day would come, but here yo-
(Before he can continue, Wu Fei punches into his chest and yanks out some vital-looking component. Alpha slumps over, lifeless.)
Wu Fei: I hate weak people and robots.
Treize: Thank you! I can't count the times I've wished for arms so I could shut that annoying machine down.
(They all turn and see the giant head in a tube.)
Trowa: Who...
Treize: I am Treize, guardian of the Morphin Grid and keeper of the Power Coins.
(Duo suddenly recovers, looking very interested.)
Quatre: Why aren't your lips moving?
Treize: Low special effects budget. But I digress...You five have been chosen to defend the planet from the unspeakable evil of Dorothy Dementia, the space witch.
(They all raise their eyebrows skeptically, except for Duo.)
Duo: Wait...are you saying...
Treize: You shall become the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.
(Duo gets sparkly eyes and screams like an excited school girl.)
Trowa: Calm down, Duo, I didn't bring your diaper bag.
Treize: Um, hello? I'm making you guys into the ultimate fighting team here. What do you think of that?
Wu Fei: What do we think?
(All of them look at each other, then fall to the floor in a fit of hysteria.)
Duo: (hyper) C'mon guys, we're gonna be Rangers!
Relena: (between laughs) Yeah, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers!
(They all laugh harder.)
Wu Fei: And I bet we'll fight injustice and evil by moonlight, won't we?
Quatre: No, we'd all have to be girls for that one.
(They think about this for a minute, then burst out laughing again.)
Treize: (giant sweatdrop) Maybe they've got a little too
much attitude...
(The teens finally recover from their laughter and get up to leave.)
Duo: (glomping onto Trowa's arm) Come on, man, Rangers!
Trowa: You mean you want us to put on goofy-looking spandex costumes, do silly poses and leap around like ballerinas?
Duo: Well...maybe, I guess...
(The others try to keep from laughing again.)
Trowa: How about...no?
Treize: (blood vessels on his forehead) Alright, that's IT! You kids get back here and become Rangers right now!
(When he looks up, everyone but Duo is gone.)
Treize: ...
Duo: (sweatdropping) Uh...I'll go try to talk some sense into them. (He runs off after them.)
(Outside, the guys are walking away at a brisk pace.)
Relena: Jeez, it looks even worse on the outside. Ultra-modern gone wrong or something.
(Duo comes running up to them.)
Duo: Heeeeeey! What'll it take to convince you guys to listen to the talking head?
Quatre: Well, for starters they'll have to write a better song than "Burning Down the House".
(Everyone snickers.)
Wu Fei: It's official, that was the worst experience of my life.
Trowa: What about that time you were an extra in the Chow Yun-Fat movie where they used live ammunition?
Wu Fei: Well, I brought my bulletproof vest to that just in case.
Trowa: Ah.
(As they reach Generic Wasteland Set #31, the Leo Patrollers appear and surround them, beeping and booping the whole time.)
Quatre: Did I miss something? When did we wander onto the set of Ultraman?
Relena: Um, isn't anyone else bothered that we're being accosted by freaks made of ABS plastic?
Wu Fei: Bah, these guys are pathetic.
(He tries to walk past them, but a pair grab his arms while a third starts punching him in the gut.)
Trowa: What the...?!
(He gets jump-kicked in the face, then dragged off for more beating. Soon, everyone is being trashed except for...)
Duo: You know, guys, there's only one way to beat these creeps...
The others: NO!
Duo: But...
Wu Fei: Fuck off!
Relena: In your dreams, Braid-Boy!
Quatre: No way!
Trowa: Absolutely not!
Duo: (shrugging) Fine, I guess you'll just get killed by a bunch of cannon fodder.
Everyone else: ...Alright, alright!
Duo: (happy) I knew you'd see it my way!
(Reluctantly and very angrily, they throw off the Leos and reach behind their backs. Thrusting their Morphers forwards, they all shout, with varying degrees of enthusiasm...)
All: IT'S MORPHIN' TIME!
(Cue the stock footage transformation sequence. When it ends, the five are wearing the leotards and helmets of the Power Rangers.)
Relena: (looking at herself) Dammit, I spent so long convincing people that I wasn't obsessed with pink, and now...
Duo: (hopping up and down as if on the biggest sugar rush ever) Yeah! This is so awesome! We're Rangers now!
Wu Fei: (drawing his Light Blaster) Can I shoot him? I have a gun right here...
Trowa: Save it until we deal with the glue-and-paint freaks. Everybody ready?
(Everyone except Duo draws their guns.)
Duo: Waitasec, we're supposed to fight them with our martial arts skills!
Quatre: Um, reality check? Wu Fei's the only one with any formal training.
Wu Fei: Besides, it's much easier this way.
Duo: (whining) But guuuuuuys...
(They begin blasting, ripping the thinly-armored Leo Patrollers to pieces.)
Duo: You're doing it all wrong!
Trowa: We're alive, they're not. I wouldn't call that wrong.
(They all get teleported back to the Command Center, where they de-transform.)
Treize: Well, look who came crawling back...
Quatre: Whatever. You're the one who teleported us, Mr. Big Giant Head.
Treize: (giant anime blood vessel) Look, you used the suits. You're the Rangers, til death you do part. Capeesh?
Everyone except Duo: WHAT?!
Duo: Yay!
Treize: So, what do you say?
(The other four look at each other, nod in agreement, then storm out of the building, flipping the giant head off.)
Treize: ...This is gonna take some work.
---
(Back on the Moon...)
Alex: My Lady, it seems that the Leos were defeated by a team of spandex-wearing teenagers.
Dorothy: ...Spandex? Teenagers?
(In a flurry, she runs off and returns with a decaying parchment.)
Dorothy: Shit, the prophecy said that one day, a group of ethnically diverse teenagers would rise to oppose me...and now it's coming true!
Quinze: Wait a second, you call THAT "ethnically diverse"? They're all white!
Zechs: Actually, they're all have different nationalities.
Quinze: But they don't look it!
(They begin to debate, with Alex and Mueller joining in.)
Dorothy: Oooh, I can feel that migraine coming on...
(END)
--------------------
...I'm sorry, but I had to write this. Just too good not to. Of course, any astute reader already knows what's coming, so there's no need for a preview, right? Peace out, y'all!
...And since it's come to my attention that I was a little vague about who's who...
Duo = Black Ranger
Relena = Pink Ranger
Wu Fei = Blue Ranger
Quatre = Yellow Ranger
Trowa = Red Ranger
????? = Green Ranger (coughi'mbeingtooobviouscough)