Disclaimer: Sailormoon Stars and concepts belong to Takeuchi Naoko-dono, Toei and Kodansha; Ren Akari and the Imperial Knights of Kinmoku belong to Cassandra Sisenta; Tsuko/Neo-Keeper and Kuroi/Neo-Striker also belong to Cassandra Sisenta; the Neo-Inner Starlights (Taiga, Yukiko & Suta) belong to Senashenta, as do the "New" Starlights (Hikaru/Hunter, Josei/Dancer & Amai/Dreamer).

Notes: Soooo... originally, Eien was supposed to be a One-Shot. Then, as I was writing it, it became longer... and so instead of uploading it as a 50-or-so page single story, I just divided it into Night/Day/Night/Day/Night. It was already divided like that, I just made them chapters instead of sections...

Yeah.

EIEN NO YUME NI MUKATTE

Day 2: Crossroads

"Would... would you like some coffee?"

"Hai. Please."

Tip.

Pour.

Boiling hot coffee everywhere.

"AHH! Itai! Watch what you're doing!"

Yuki jerked her attention back toward the coffee she was pouring just in time for the man who had originally intended to drink it to scramble out of the way: she had missed the cup entirely. Hot black liquid ran from one end of the table to the other and dripped down onto the floor to pool at her feet.

"Ah... gomen." She bowed quickly. "I'll get a towel."

Two tables away, Jina was watching her with concern, and quickly scribbled down the order she was taking so that she could hurry after Yuki as she made her way to the kitchen.

The blonde was digging listlessly through the shelves when Jina poked her head around the doorframe, with Amako close behind her. Both other girls looked concerned—and rightly so. There was something seriously wrong with their friend, today.

"Yuki-chan?"

Yuki looked up from the shelves, blinking slowly. "Uh—hai?"

Jina wrinkled her nose. "Daijobu?"

"...hai."

"Hontou ni?"

"...hai."

Jina looked doubtful, and Amako shook her head. "Yuki, you're a zombie today—and you've been like that since yesterday when Endo-sama came by... what'd he say that's making you act like this?"

"Nandemonai."

"Yuki..." Amako's hands went to her hips.

"It's about Ren-sama, isn't it?" Jina asked quietly.

Amako glared. "Oi, Jina! Not everything is about Ren-sama!"

"But, Amako—"

Yuki sighed. "I don't want to talk about it."

Both other girls blinked, and Jina asked, "are you... going to be okay?"

"...hai."

"You keep saying that, but I don't really believe it." Amako informed her.

A vague shrug. "I need a towel... where does Sakosawa-san keep them?"

"The same place he always does, Yuki-chan."

"Aah..."

She actually had to think about it before she remembered where they were, and set off to find one—Jina and Amako watched worriedly as she drifted back out to the restaurant after she did.

"Something is seriously wrong with Yuki-chan."

"Yeah..."

xOxOxOxOx

Sakosawa had sent her home early.

Very early.

As in, about five and a half hour early.

Yuki's eyes watched the ground as she walked, magenta gaze never faltering, focused on the pavement that went by as she headed home—she had been spilling things on customers for the entire two and a half hours she had been there, and eventually it had been decided that she should just leave.

I'm not myself and I know it.

She didn't wonder why—though everyone else did.

Yuki planned to go home, go to bed, and never get up again.

No one would notice, anyway...

That was an exaggeration, yes, but she didn't feel like correcting it.

Sigh...

Her shoe connected with a wayward stone, and it skittered across the concrete sidewalk, vanishing from her somewhat limited line of sight. She heard it bounce off something with a dull crack, and a dry chuckle followed.

"Yuki-chan," a voice said, both familiar and at the same time unfamiliar, "you shouldn't kick stones at people."

She looked up—and blinked. "Ahh—Hikaru-san?"

The young man who was standing in front of her was definitely Hikaru Kou... only, obviously, male. As it was only the third time that she had ever seen Hikaru in her male form, Yuki found herself staring blankly as the good-humored Starlight chuckled at her expense.

"Aren't you supposed to be at work?"

"Hai... but Sakosawa-san sent me home early." She started walking again, and Hikaru fell into step beside her. "I'm not feeling very well."

"That much is obvious," Hikaru agreed. "The question is why."

"I don't know..."

"Liar."

Yuki frowned, "why does everyone insist on calling me that, lately?"

Hikaru shrugged and raised his arms to clasp his hands behind his head. "Have you been telling more lies, lately?"

"Sou ka..."

"Well then, that explains it." He looked at her from the corner of his eye. "So... a little birdie tells me that you and Ren-sama had a bit of a fight."

Yuki's head came up. "Who told you—"

A wink. "I've got my sources... so is it true?"

"Aa. Sort of."

"What about?"

"....." the blonde sighed sadly, "the truth is... it wasn't really a fight. Or... it was... but it was pretty one-sided. I... I guess... I guess I broke up with him."

Shaking her head, she added; "which would mean more if we had been... together in the first place."

"You weren't?"

"Iie... not really."

Hikaru's eyebrows raised. "Then why were you sneaking out of his room two nights ago?"

"What?"

"Ah!" He waved a hand, "daijobu, daijobu! I pried it out of Amai-chan. No worries, Yuki-chan, I wouldn't tell anyone." Yuki's jaw must have dropped open, for Hikaru began to chuckle. "What? You don't believe that I can keep a secret? I swear on my Star Yell!"

"Hikaru-san?"

"Hmm?"

"How much... does age matter in a relationship?"

He looked surprised. "For a Starlight? Uh, I hate to break it to you, Yuki, but we don't age the same way as everyone else..."

"I know that, but..."

"Is this what you and Ren fought about?"

"Hai... except he doesn't really know."

Hikaru shook his head. "Jeez. Yuki-chan, you're a lot more complicated than anyone gives you credit for."

Yuki turned questioning eyes toward him. Her normally bouncing step was slow today, and despite his general cheerfulness, Hikaru really was worried. He considered for a minute before answering, and dropped his arms back to his sides as he did.

"Ne... Yuki-chan... you're what... seventeen? Eighteen?"

"Hai."

"You're about to the point when you won't change physically anymore." Hikaru frowned slightly, and stuck his hands in his pockets. "Somewhere between where you are and around the age of twenty-five, Starlights just... stop aging. It's something that I don't understand myself, but I'm not about to complain." He tipped his head toward her, "and it's the same for the Knights. Ren-sama was about your age when he became a Knight, and he's still around that age, give or take a few years."

"But... he was... I mean... he's older than Satsu-san, and..."

Hikaru couldn't help grinning. "Look at it this way, Yuki-chan..." lowering his voice, he said, "Amai-chan doesn't care. She and Tohma-sama are together that way, and neither of them is worried about how old the other is. Oh sure, they pretend that they're not a couple, but..."

Yuki was staring blankly, and he waved a hand.

"Yare, yare," he rolled his eyes skyward. "And I know you're a generation younger than Amai-chan, but what does it matter? When you get into debating time with Senshi and Knights, you have to completely forgo the entire aging process."

"Anou... so... you're saying I'm being stupid."

"Silly, Yuki-chan. Silly. I would never say you were stupid." He patted her shoulder in a comforting gesture, "you are far from stupid."

Yuki was quiet for a while, contemplating, and Hikaru let her think.

I guess... I guess Amai-san is with Tohma-sama, and... and they don't care...

Sometimes Hikaru made so much sense it was scary.

"Ne, Hikaru-san... arigato..."

"No problemo." Hikaru winked, "I don't like seeing you unhappy any more than everyone else does. Sadness doesn't suit you." Turning around, he walked backward for a few steps as he continued; "so try to cheer up, ne?"

"Hai..."

"That a girl!" He patted her head, a gesture that made her feel like she was six years old again, and then spun back around to head in the opposite direction. "Ja ne, Yuki-chan! Ganbatte!"

"Ja..."

His aquamarine ponytail vanished into the crowd.

I should have asked him why he was a man today...

With Hikaru, you never knew.

xOxOxOxOx

Yuki didn't feel like going home, so she abandoned her original plan (to go home and sleep for the next ten years) and instead headed out toward the bluffs behind the Palace: beyond the Palace walls and expanses of green fields and flowerbeds, the land sloped downward before dropping into a sharp cliff, which lead to the sea beyond.

She often spent time there, just standing or sitting and watching the ebb and flow of the tides, when everyone else was busy with other things, and there was nothing to occupy her mind.

Magenta eyes watched vaguely, head tilted downward, as a family of otters scurried about on the beach, splashed in the water, and generally looked as if they were enjoying life.

One of them was her friend—whom she had named "Sayuri"—the otter with the broken leg, which Suta had refused to allow into the apartment. So instead she had taken Sayuri to the veterinarian, and she had long since healed...

She wondered, for a moment, how long it took for a heart to heal.

I'm so stupid. Stupid!

It was a long way down to where the otters played... just one slip, and a person could find herself meeting the darkness of oblivion all too quickly. It would be so easy...

Too easy...

Unknowingly, she swayed forward—

—and a hand caught her arm before she could tumble from the cliff, pulling her back with a sharp jerk, which was followed by a string of muttered curses.

"Damn it, Yuki!"

Surprise. She knew that voice.

"Ren-s-san! K—" she stumbled over her words for a moment before launching into her normally genki greeting—and it was a hesitation that made Ren's eyes seem to frown, though his expression did not change. "Konnichi wa!"

Why was she acting like nothing had happened? Why was she forcing herself to be cheerful for him, when she hadn't been for anyone else? Why was it so important that he not see how much pain she was in?

Why...

"What are you doing?" He demanded.

"Are?" Yuki blinked and looked back toward the drop-off. "I was... there's a family of otters that lives down near the bottom, by the water." She smiled brightly, despite how much she wanted to cry. It hurt so much—for him to be there—"I just wanted to see them, ne? I guess I got too close!"

"Yuki..."

Her smile faltered. "I—I think I should go."

She kept saying the same things, over and over again.

Because there's nothing else to say.

She turned to leave—

—but his grip on her arm didn't budge

"No."

She whirled back around, blonde hair flying, to stare at him with wide, shocked eyes. "But—"

"Listen," he sounded like he didn't know what, exactly, he was going to say—but that he had something important to tell her, nonetheless. "I don't know what the hell Endo told you... and you know what? I don't want to know. Screw him."

Yuki tried, unsuccessfully, to pull her arm from his grasp. "Ren-san—"

"And if you don't want to see me anymore, then that's fine. That's your choice, and I can accept it. But if you're just doing this because of something Endo said... it's stupid, Yuki! Stupid."

She found herself caught by the intensity in his eyes. "Ren... kun..."

His hand fell back to his side. "I just... wanted to say that. You..."

"Gomen ne." She interrupted, her voice wavering. "I'm sorry. I... it's hard to explain... and it's not Endo-sama's fault. Not at all. It was just me and... and I don't know..." she looked away, "I don't know what I'm doing anymore... I... just... gomen ne."

"....."

Without looking at him, she tucked her legs under herself and sat down in the grass, eyes on the ground. One hand absently plucked at the leaves of a clover patch near her side. "I think... I think when I actually realized how old you are... I think I panicked."

"How old I am?" He sounded incredulous.

"Aa... it just... you're..." trailing off, she started again with; "Ren-kun, do you ever wonder about your life? I mean... about what you chose to do with it, and where you are now."

"I used to."

She didn't continue right away, and he moved from where he had been standing so sit next to her, a foot or so away. Her gaze remained focused on the clover patch, though he was watching her intently. For her part, she felt as if she was jumping from one topic to another in a completely random fashion.

She just hoped he was able to understand...

"I just wonder sometimes... if maybe I chose the wrong path in life."

"You're being stupid."

Yuki smiled, somewhat sadly. "That's what I keep trying to tell myself," she told him softly, "but there's this little voice... it whispers 'you're not good enough to be a senshi'... 'you're not the kind of person Taiga and Suta want to be friends with'... 'you're not the kind of girl that Ren would—"

Breaking off, she shook her head.

"Ren would what, Yuki?"

"Never mind. Nandemonai. Anyway, that's part of the reason why I... I mean, I already have so many doubts, even though I don't tell anyone, and then I found out that you were... you're so much older than me, and I just..." sighing, Yuki forced a smile and turned toward him again, "Ren-kun, I'm sorry for making you listen to—"

Before she could finish the sentence, he leaned over and kissed her. Only once, lightly, his lips barely brushing against hers at all, and her cheeks turned several bright shades of red and pink even as she jerked back in surprise to stare at him with wide, shocked eyes.

"R-Ren-kun—" her magenta gaze turned downward again, "ah... gomen ne."

"What are you apologizing for, now?" It was more of a demand than a question.

"For... I..." words seemed to fail her, and she fell back on repeating her previous apology. "Just... just... gomen ne. For everything."

Ren was silent.

Yuki managed a tentative smile—tentative but real.

"I'm going to go now... Ren-kun."

"...hai."

"Ja matte ne?"

"Aa. Ja ne..."

She got up, brushing grass from her skirt, and headed back toward the Palace.