Chapter 10 Turning Circles
Light raider:
It wasn't long before Hollie found them on the Simudeck, or rather on a beach, one she'd seen before.
"Mariner Bay?" She asked looking up to Ryan from the cradle of his arms.
"Yeah, I came here a lot after I decided to stay." He explained as he moved forward to where a white blanket was spread.
"I didn't know that." Hollie murmured as he lowered her to sit on the blanket. "I'd have thought your father would have kept you under lock and key." she admitted.
"Maybe if I'd let him but I've never liked taking orders." Ryan said shrugging as he sat down on the mantle.
"Yeah growing up with…" Hollie blushed when she realized what she'd been about to say. God, how could she be so thoughtless?
"Demons," he said amused slightly by her attempt to say the right things. "You can say it."
"Oh." Hollie didn't know what else to say to that, after all how often did she stick her foot in it with him?
"What? The daredevil blushing?" Ryan heard himself teasing; man she was pretty when she did that.
"It's the concussion" she muttered looking out at the water. Soft white breakers were lapping at the shore several yards away and she felt at peace. Even with what had just happened she felt ok about it all.
"Hollie?" Ryan asked after a few minutes of silence.
"Hmm?" She asked and he glanced out to sea as well.
"What was it like?" He inquired almost hesitantly, as if afraid to ask. "Growing up feeling guilty for something you couldn't change?"
"I…" She felt sick at the question. She'd not had nightmares in the medical bay but she didn't want to chance it now.
"Hollie you have that same look Dana used to have." He said n an easy tone, one she'd rarely ever heard from him. It was odd, but for some reason, here, like this Ryan was not who he'd been. No, he was someone somehow more reachable.
"Back when I first came back."
"Dana?" She asked a little surprised he'd mention her like that. It was as if they were all equal. Talk about a change from when they'd left earth, she thought to herself.
"When I first came back I learned that Dana had thought for years that if she'd not been there that night I'd still be alive." Ryan admitted and Hollie felt a shiver go through her. It was that same feeling she got when she was over tired, when she was dreaming and when she thought too much about it.
"But I thought…" She began as he glanced up at the cloudless azure sky.
"There was no way dad could have saved me. Just as there was no way your parents would have survived the battle when you were little." Ryan explained and she felt sick at just the thoughts, who felt sick at just the thoughts, was he actually saying this? Didn't he know? Didn't he understand?
"Why are you bringing this up now?" She demanded attempting to jump to her feet.
"Hollie you could have died today, think about it, you had a nasty lump on the head if it had been worse you might never have woken up." He said catching her when she swayed slightly.
"Ryan, I did. I survived it." Hollie said sighing just wanting him to drop this. "Like I survive everything."
"And yet you're still locked inside." He murmured sadly and she met those sorrowful silver eyes, she was much more used to seeing flashing at her in anger.
"It's my life Ryan. I live it my way." She murmured feeling a little sleepy and that only had her sitting up, if a little drunkenly.
"Hollie?" Ryan asked frowning over at her now drawn face.
"I need to move." She said over a yawn.
"Hollie you need rest." He said, heavens, had he made a mistake by brining her out of the medical bay?
"No, not now, I don't want to. I'll be fine if I can just move around a little." the red head argued attempting to get up.
"Hollie you…" he began, why was she so determined? But then he remembered their talk about nightmares. That was it; she was still unwilling to deal with them.
"Damn it Ryan I liked you better yelling at me!" She threw her hands up into the air.
Ryan sat there, he knew that trust would be key for the rest of this mission but Hollie was a hard one. Too he really did want to know about this girl, this woman. Slowly a memory hit him.
"Dana do you remember when I first came back and the nightmares started up?" Ryun asked and she nodded. He'd never been able to forget that.
"Yeah, I heard you crying in the hall."
"What did you do?" He asked and he watched her thinking.
"I put my old sleeping bag on the floor by your bed."
"Yes, even without saying a word you knew and showed you cared."
"You've done the same Ryan, more times than..."she began but he cut her off.
"That's not the point, Dana, what is is that some times it's not what you say but what you do."
***
"Just..." She took another step and then was in the doorway. Dana could see the light coming from the back of the room and Dana didn't know if she could get back down the hall now if she had to. For some reason her stomach hurt and she had a feeling she should sit down. Still she was going to look in on her husband and see if he needed anything.
***
The sound of heavy panting had Carter looking up from his computer screen. The sight that met his eyes robbing him of his breath.
There in the doorway stood his wife, her blonde hair matted to her head, her face ashen...
"Dana!" He was on his feet and catching the trey as she swayed. "Dana what are you doing up? You should be..."But just ten she yelped and there was a sound like something trickling out of a cup.
"Carter?" She asked confused, god her belly hurt.
"Dana just hang on come on." He was picking her up even as she began to sob.
"Carter, it hurts…"
"I know baby just hold on." He knew what was happening, knew she was in too much pain to recognize it.
***
Light raider:
"Tell you what," Ryan began glancing out to see a moment, hoping this would work. He didn't know why but he had a feeling this was important. "We can walk if you tell me about what happened."
"Ryan if I do I'll never sleep." Hollie said looking at her hands, god she had enough on her hands let alone that too. What would he think when he did hear it? True he said it wasn't her fault but if he heard the truth…
"Not true, remember the way you slept yesterday?" Ryan said and Hollie nodded not understanding. "Well if I'm right whenever you sleep with me you won't have nightmares."
"What? that's crazy." She said looking at his face, he looked serious.
"Not really, that's what happens to my sister and Captain Grayson." Ryan admitted and her eyes went thoughtful.
"Really?" She heard herself asking.
"Yeah anyway what do you say?" Ryan asked and she thought about it for another minute.
"I…" She looked at the sand and felt the graininess again. "Alright."
"Come on." Ryan said and he was on his feet, her arm about his shoulders, his about her middle as they began to walk.
"We were going to the zoo. I'd never been to a zoo." She said thinking back, in all truth she'd not gone since either. She just couldn't bare to. "We never made it."
Hollie held tight to her mommy's hand, she couldn't believe it; they were really going to the zoo. The six year old was practically jumping out of her shoes.
"Mommy can we see the panda?" She asked in her high sing song voice as they crossed the street.
"We'll see honey." Colleen marsh replied smiling down at her little girl.
The sound of the screams had the pedestrians scattering, screaming and all out panicking even before they saw the monster.
"There was so much noise, so much pushing and shoving." Hollie murmured and even as she and Ryan walked along the nearly deserted beach she could still feel the pain when someone shoved her mommy out of the way and she herself hit her shoulder off of a parking meter.
Ryan felt Hollie shuddering. He didn't say anything, not wanting her to stop. He could hear the force it was taking her to tell the tale and he wanted to make sure she got it all out in the open. Still he pulled her a little tighter against his side.
"I knew about monster attacks, I'd seen them on the news, the third grade class at my school had even been kidnapped once on a field-trip. I'd never been in one though…"
She was so scared, where was her daddy? She could feel her mommy's hand but where was he?
"Daddy!"
"I'm here Honey!" Called peter marsh as he fought to reach his daughter even as the ground began to shake.
"We have to hurry!" HER MOMMY WAS SHOUTING AND Hollie was scared, she couldn't get eaten.
"Peter up there!" Hollie heard her mommy shouting and they were just shoving Hollie into an alley when her mommy screamed and then Hollie watched as a car landed on her mommy.
"No!!!"
The arms were tight about her and Hollie realized only after she'd been crying for sometime that they were no longer walking but sitting in the sand. Ryan's arms were she looked up at Ryan but his eyes were closed and he looked pale, as white as a sheet.
"Ryan?" Tight about her.
"Hollie…" he breathed and as their eyes met she saw pain and regret, and what was that self loathing?
"Ryan what is it?" She asked him softly, reaching up to touch her cheek
"I've been the monster." He said and his voice was horse. As He muttered the words.
"What?" Ollie asked quietly brushing back a stray blond lock of his hair.
"When I was with the demons…"
"Ryan…" she'd known of what he'd done, seen the tapes and yet it had never struck her how it could be for the other side. Sure she'd lost her parents but Ryan…
"What about your father?" He asked at last.
"My dad?" She asked confused.
"Yeah," he asked pulling away slightly. "What happened to him?"
"Ryan I don't want to…"She turned her face away. Hadn't she said enough for one day?
"Hollie," he gently turned her back to face him, meeting her eyes steadily. "I've done things like that, I've hurt people. God Hollie if you'd lived in mariner bay…" he looked away.
"Ryan I didn't." She said and he closed his eyes tightly.
"Please what happened?"
"My father didn't see what happened to mom at first."
"Hollie you have to run down the ally as fast as you can, run until you can't run anymore ok?"
"But daddy what about…" there were tears stinging her eyes, what was he gonna do?
Just then there was a sound of flesh hitting flesh and she moved to look passed her daddy.
"Daddy the power rangers…"
"Hollie no you have to go and keep…"
"But it was too late, Goldar had seen me and I don't know, I guess he wanted to use me as bate…"
"Your father tried to stop him." Ryan said grimly and he was the one once more brushing the hair from her eyes.
"Yes." Hollie gazed at Ryan eyes intense. "Now do you understand?"
"I understand that what happened to you," he traced her nose with a finger. "What I did, both are why we're here now." He said and Hollie frowned up at him.
"Ryan?" She asked and he didn't say a word, leaning down, brushing her lips with his. She felt something odd in this kiss. It was not what most kisses felt like, there was something sweet and yet untamed, something that she felt and returned.
***
Neoaquabase, earth:
"I'm sorry Captain you'll have to wait out here." Marie said as she pulled her boss from the delivery room even as the doctor inside prepped for an emergency exam.
"What's going on?" Kim asked joining them.
"It looks like There are going to be complications." Marie explained as carter was too bewildered and down right terrified to think. His wife might lose the babies and he might lose all three of them…
TBC
***