As the competition drew nearer, Craig and I's passion grew stronger. He made me feel special, unlike any other person I had ever met. It was at that time that I was at the happiest state I had ever been in. He had completely changed me. I was always smiling, I wanted to succeed in class just so I could give Craig something to be proud of. I felt like I was about to bubble over. It was also when I was most afraid. Even though I was so happy, I was worried and constantly anxious. I was worried that Craig would change his mind and leave me, I was afraid that Renee would find out about us, most of all I was afraid of falling out of love with him. It sounds weird, but what I mean is, I was afraid that I would wake up and not feal the same way anymore. Like when a little kid gets a new toy for Christmas, loves the toy for ten minutes and then never plays with it again. That was my worst fear. "Could you help me with this problem I'm having?" Craig said as we were rehearsing. "What do you need?" He then leaned in and kissed me, "I just had this kiss I had to give away, it was really bugging me." He responded as he pulled away. "You're so corny!" I said laughing. "Well it's all your fault," "How is that?" "Ever since I've met you I've been trying to be funny. I'm just not funny." He laughed and kissed my forehead. I just giggled. Everything he did for me was funny and enjoyable. "I told Renee about you last night." He said suddenly. I was silent for a while. "What did she say?" Is said after a while. "She went berserk. She actually threw a flashlight at me. Good thing she has bad aim, or I would be dead." He joked, but I could tell he really meant it, "Her exact words were, 'You bastard how the hell could you do this to me! Go to hell you self centered pig.'" I laughed a little but I could tell it hurt him. I knew Renee meant something to him, and her words stung him. I could see it in his eyes. They were so sad, like a little kid who lost his puppy. I hugged him and tried to comfort him. I tried to send all my happiness I've been having with him to him. I didn't realize how this was killing him. How could I know, he always tried to protect me. "She won't let me call off the wedding either." He said after a while. This is when I let go, "What?" "She says I have cold feet and I want to experiment with other people before we were married and that if I didn't do the honorable thing and marry her I would never 'over her dead body' see our baby." He had tears in his eyes. I didn't notice, but I was crying too. "Ive always wanted children, if I couldn't see my child, I don't know what I would do." He said wiping my eyes. "I understand. You do what you want, I won't be hurt," I lied, "If you go with her, I will gladly let you go. It's just a fling any way, right?" I was horrified. What was I saying? He stared at me with tears in his eyes, "No, it's not just a fling. I love you. I can't just walk away from that." I tried to laugh it off, but I couldn't. Why, God, do you punish me? I thought. All I wanted was a guy to love me back. Why do you make it harder than it has to be? "I'll survive. You're not the only guy out there." Why was I trying to be so strong? I guess I was trying to make his decision easier. "I won't survive. Why are you acting this way? You're acting like you don't care about us." He said. He looked at me as he would a stranger. Like he didn't know me, and it really hurt. I blew my bluff and I broke down in tears. I couldn't stand to see him that way. I fell in the floor but he held onto me. "I hate her!" I said with rage, "Why does it have to be this way?" "You don't hate anyone. You dislike her greatly that's all." He joked. "I guess we have to be grateful we had what we did. I will never forget you. I have to leave for New York next weak for the wedding, this is my last rehearsal." I just cried. I couldn't look at him. Even though this would be the last time I saw him. He said nothing else and we sat together and cried. When I finally calmed down, he kissed me and then gave me a gift. A diamond bracelet. It was small, because he couldn't afford much else, but it was so beautiful. "I'll never take it off," I said sliding it over my shaking hand. "I'll never forget you." He said kissing my head. He drove me home and I tried to get out of the car, but I couldn't. I wanted to stay and be with him. I didn't want to leave him, ever. "We could run away together and never look back," I said. I truly meant it. If he would have said run on foot to France so we could be together I would. "I can't." he said. As I finally got out of the car I had to run away quickly to my room so I wouldn't slash his tires. "Honey, what's wrong?" Dad said as I ran in. I tried to run past him. I wanted to get away. I wanted to be alone. No I didn't want to be alone, I wanted to be with Craig. Dad caught me any way and I broke down for the second time in his arms. "I kick Craig's ass, what did he do?" "Nothing daddy, just please don't." I said struggling through tears. "Like hell he didn't. What did he do?" he said with sympathy and rage at the same time. "He's getting married to his pregnant girlfriend, and he loves me." I said after a long time of trying to not say anything. Dad said nothing for a while, "Is that why you've been floating on air all of this time? You think you're in love with Craig." "Yes," I said trying not to say anything about the 'think you love...'. "Well...you...didn't sleep with him did you?" That was all he could think of? Not 'Oh, Baby I'm so sorry.' Like Mom would or 'Let me make it all better.' Like Craig would. "No, I didn't sleep with him." I said. I felt him give a sigh of relief. We sat in silence for a while. Dad didn't know what to say, and I didn't want to say anything. "Well I guess he wasn't worth your time if he left you. I'm so sorry, honey." With that he went to bed. I sat at the kitchen table for a while, then finally, I went to bed.