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Sam stood at the window in an empty bedroom somewhere in Erin's parents' home. She didn't know whose room it was, but it was quiet and secluded and she could think for a few minutes. Outside, the barbeque was still in full swing. People moved around in small groups, drinking and talking. Laughter reached her through the open window. Without being aware that she was doing it, she scanned the crowd for Jack.
Her skin was still humming from the kiss with Jack nearly two hours before. What had she been thinking? What possessed her to kiss him like that? And she wasn't ignoring the fact that he had kissed her right back... and it was one hell of a kiss.
Part of her knew why... She had wanted to do it since she woke up in his arms that morning. Curled against his chest, his warm hand on her skin... his purely male scent filling her senses. It felt right and wonderful... and had melted everything inside her to a warm goo. Even the icy cold shower she had taken hadn't cooled it.
Kissing him at the barbeque, surrounded by people, was safe. If there were ever a time that kissing her CO was safe. There was no way things could go to far. No way she could give in to the desire to do more. Go further.
Break the rules.
Every single one of them.
Years of working as a team, when your life depended on each other, had made Sam's senses keenly aware of his presence whenever he was near. She felt the awareness skitter up her spine, and looked over her shoulder. Standing in the doorway was Jack O'Neill, his shoulder braced against the jamb and his hands in his pockets. He watched her, dark eyes that saw right through her.
"Hey," he said in his distinctive voice.
"Hey."
Jack came into the room, shutting the door behind him. Her heartbeat jumped as the air seemed to close in around her. He walked slowly to her, and she hitched up her chin to hold his gaze. Joining her at the window, he stood just close enough that she could feel the warmth of his body, but they didn't touch. The same dance they'd played for 7 years... close... but not close enough.
Except for this morning...
"Whatcha doin'?
She stared into his face. Even now, with the chaos and confusion that knotted in her chest, she wanted to kiss him. She wanted to be in his arms, to feel his hands on her, to test for herself just how tone his body was.
"Just getting away for a few minutes."
He nodded and looked out the window, his eyes squinting against the bright afternoon sunlight. His arm brushed her shoulder when he leaned forward, and currents ran through her body. She was like a live wire... sparking electricity.
Jack motioned out the window with a tip of his chin, and Sam followed his gaze. Russ stood with Erin and Jane, another beer in hand. The muscles in Sam's neck tensed.
"I didn't like that guy," Jack stated flatly.
Sam smiled and laughed softly. "You always were a good judge of character."
He looked down at her, his sculpted lips straight and his eyes dark. Sam's breath caught and she felt her pulse jump at the base of her throat. His lips parted, characteristic of Jack just before he was about to say something important.
"What did he do to you?"
"Nothing I didn't get over a long time ago."
One eyebrow arched. "You sure? Cuz I would so kick his ass if you want me to."
Before she did something she knew she shouldn't, Sam stepped away from the window and walked to the foot of the single-size bed, her arms crossed over her body. She stared down at the carpet, pushing the toe of her sneaker into the fibers.
"About Russ..." she began, then cleared her throat. "I want to apologize for... earlier."
"Was I complaining?"
She could hear the grin in his voice without looking at him, and it eased some of the knotted tension in her shoulders. With a resolved sigh, she sat o the edge of the bed.
"I could give you this long, convoluted story about how Russ hurt me fifteen-whatever years ago – which he did – and tell you I kissed you out there to somehow feel like I was proving a point to him. Which, maybe deep down that's at least partially what it was all about – but for the most part it would just be an excuse. Because I got over what he did a very long time ago. Now, I just don't like him. But..."
Her thoughts trailed off as Jack walked towards her. The closer he came, the harder it was for her to keep her thoughts in line. On the subject at hand. He stopped near her, and just glancing out of the corner of her eyes, she saw he still had his hands in his pockets. Her gaze drifted from the soft blue of his shirt and the way it hung perfectly over his trim hips, to the relaxed yet snug fit of his jeans. The image that would forever be burned into her mind of Jack reclined on their hotel bed... relaxed and sexy... waiting for her, danced in her mind.
"But ... what?"
She forced herself to look up at him. "But it was all just an excuse kiss you."
Before she could see his expression, she covered her eyes with her hands and flung herself back on the bed with a loud groan. Her breath caught when she felt the mattress give beneath his added weight, and sensed him stretching out beside her. He didn't touch her, but his body was so close – her heart pounded furiously. Sam just held her hands over her face, not daring to look, not wanting to think about what might happen if she did.
Then his large fingers curled around one of her wrists and he pulled her hand away. She kept her eyes closed until he pulled back the other, and only then dared look up. Jack supported his weight on his elbow, with his fist against his temple, staring down at her. His expression was soft, yet heated at the same time. Sam couldn't recall ever seeing his eyes so dark.
"Do you think you need an excuse to kiss me?"
She stared at him, knowing she was probably wide-eyed. "Jack! We shouldn't be kissing at all! Excused or not!"
He set his finger against her lips and she stopped, unable to look away from him. His gaze shifted to her mouth briefly before he looked into her eyes again. She held her breath as he smoothed his fingertips across her cheek.
"It was time," he said simply.
Sam wrinkled her brow and tilted her head. "Time?"
Jack's lips turned up in a slight grin. "Come on, Carter. You're the brainiac, you haven't figured it out by now?"
She shook her head, slowly losing the ability to think as his fingers moved down her throat to caress her collarbone through the neckline of her sweater.
Jack's face lit up into his 'wow, I know something Carter doesn't know' expressions. She didn't mind, dizzy from his gentle touch.
"We've danced around this... thing that I refuse to name... for seven years. We both know it's here, right?"
Sam nodded, giving in to the urge to raise her arm and press her hand against his stomach. His abdominal muscles tensed beneath her touch, and a small sense of satisfaction moved through her. That she had the same effect on him that he had on her.
"The only reason I haven't gone completely insane is for moments like this."
She was beginning to understand, and realized he was right. They were able to keep themselves distant... apart... for most of the time. But sometimes, the need to let go... to give in to the need, even if just a little and just for a moment... was too much to deny. And that was when he would embrace her... or she would just touch his hand... and it was enough to know that they were still there for each other.
"It's getting harder," she said through a tight throat.
Jack nodded. "I know."
"Eventually, moments like this won't be enough—"
"—for either of us. I know."
Tears stung her eyes, and she blinked to try and keep them at bay. One escaped and she felt it run across her temple to her hair. Jack leaned down and kissed the damp spot, and Sam drew in a shuttered breath.
"Then we'll just have to make this weekend a good one. To get us through."
Sam smiled and touched his face. He grasped her wrist and turned his face into her palm, kissing the sensitive skin there. There was so much going unsaid, but Sam knew that most of it didn't need to be said. Jack shifted his weight off his arm and leaned in to press his lips over hers. The kiss was slow and restrained, and turned her inside out.
Then he broke away and rose off the bed in one fluid motion, offering her his hand. She took it and he pulled her to her feet, and against him.
"So, what... we get twenty-four hours to hold us over until... some as-of-yet- undetermine time?"
"Pretty much," Jack said, wrapping his arms around her with his hands clasped together behind her waist. "Can you handle that?"
"Can you?"
He smiled. "Is there an option B?"
"Not a viable one, no."
"Then I can handle it." He smiled. "And if we're really good, we can stretch it out to thirty-six hours."
Sam stepped back and laced her fingers through his. "If we don't go back out soon, they might send a search party for us."
As they walked to the bedroom door, Jack said, "As long as it isn't SG-17. That Sanderson is an idiot."
Sam stood at the window in an empty bedroom somewhere in Erin's parents' home. She didn't know whose room it was, but it was quiet and secluded and she could think for a few minutes. Outside, the barbeque was still in full swing. People moved around in small groups, drinking and talking. Laughter reached her through the open window. Without being aware that she was doing it, she scanned the crowd for Jack.
Her skin was still humming from the kiss with Jack nearly two hours before. What had she been thinking? What possessed her to kiss him like that? And she wasn't ignoring the fact that he had kissed her right back... and it was one hell of a kiss.
Part of her knew why... She had wanted to do it since she woke up in his arms that morning. Curled against his chest, his warm hand on her skin... his purely male scent filling her senses. It felt right and wonderful... and had melted everything inside her to a warm goo. Even the icy cold shower she had taken hadn't cooled it.
Kissing him at the barbeque, surrounded by people, was safe. If there were ever a time that kissing her CO was safe. There was no way things could go to far. No way she could give in to the desire to do more. Go further.
Break the rules.
Every single one of them.
Years of working as a team, when your life depended on each other, had made Sam's senses keenly aware of his presence whenever he was near. She felt the awareness skitter up her spine, and looked over her shoulder. Standing in the doorway was Jack O'Neill, his shoulder braced against the jamb and his hands in his pockets. He watched her, dark eyes that saw right through her.
"Hey," he said in his distinctive voice.
"Hey."
Jack came into the room, shutting the door behind him. Her heartbeat jumped as the air seemed to close in around her. He walked slowly to her, and she hitched up her chin to hold his gaze. Joining her at the window, he stood just close enough that she could feel the warmth of his body, but they didn't touch. The same dance they'd played for 7 years... close... but not close enough.
Except for this morning...
"Whatcha doin'?
She stared into his face. Even now, with the chaos and confusion that knotted in her chest, she wanted to kiss him. She wanted to be in his arms, to feel his hands on her, to test for herself just how tone his body was.
"Just getting away for a few minutes."
He nodded and looked out the window, his eyes squinting against the bright afternoon sunlight. His arm brushed her shoulder when he leaned forward, and currents ran through her body. She was like a live wire... sparking electricity.
Jack motioned out the window with a tip of his chin, and Sam followed his gaze. Russ stood with Erin and Jane, another beer in hand. The muscles in Sam's neck tensed.
"I didn't like that guy," Jack stated flatly.
Sam smiled and laughed softly. "You always were a good judge of character."
He looked down at her, his sculpted lips straight and his eyes dark. Sam's breath caught and she felt her pulse jump at the base of her throat. His lips parted, characteristic of Jack just before he was about to say something important.
"What did he do to you?"
"Nothing I didn't get over a long time ago."
One eyebrow arched. "You sure? Cuz I would so kick his ass if you want me to."
Before she did something she knew she shouldn't, Sam stepped away from the window and walked to the foot of the single-size bed, her arms crossed over her body. She stared down at the carpet, pushing the toe of her sneaker into the fibers.
"About Russ..." she began, then cleared her throat. "I want to apologize for... earlier."
"Was I complaining?"
She could hear the grin in his voice without looking at him, and it eased some of the knotted tension in her shoulders. With a resolved sigh, she sat o the edge of the bed.
"I could give you this long, convoluted story about how Russ hurt me fifteen-whatever years ago – which he did – and tell you I kissed you out there to somehow feel like I was proving a point to him. Which, maybe deep down that's at least partially what it was all about – but for the most part it would just be an excuse. Because I got over what he did a very long time ago. Now, I just don't like him. But..."
Her thoughts trailed off as Jack walked towards her. The closer he came, the harder it was for her to keep her thoughts in line. On the subject at hand. He stopped near her, and just glancing out of the corner of her eyes, she saw he still had his hands in his pockets. Her gaze drifted from the soft blue of his shirt and the way it hung perfectly over his trim hips, to the relaxed yet snug fit of his jeans. The image that would forever be burned into her mind of Jack reclined on their hotel bed... relaxed and sexy... waiting for her, danced in her mind.
"But ... what?"
She forced herself to look up at him. "But it was all just an excuse kiss you."
Before she could see his expression, she covered her eyes with her hands and flung herself back on the bed with a loud groan. Her breath caught when she felt the mattress give beneath his added weight, and sensed him stretching out beside her. He didn't touch her, but his body was so close – her heart pounded furiously. Sam just held her hands over her face, not daring to look, not wanting to think about what might happen if she did.
Then his large fingers curled around one of her wrists and he pulled her hand away. She kept her eyes closed until he pulled back the other, and only then dared look up. Jack supported his weight on his elbow, with his fist against his temple, staring down at her. His expression was soft, yet heated at the same time. Sam couldn't recall ever seeing his eyes so dark.
"Do you think you need an excuse to kiss me?"
She stared at him, knowing she was probably wide-eyed. "Jack! We shouldn't be kissing at all! Excused or not!"
He set his finger against her lips and she stopped, unable to look away from him. His gaze shifted to her mouth briefly before he looked into her eyes again. She held her breath as he smoothed his fingertips across her cheek.
"It was time," he said simply.
Sam wrinkled her brow and tilted her head. "Time?"
Jack's lips turned up in a slight grin. "Come on, Carter. You're the brainiac, you haven't figured it out by now?"
She shook her head, slowly losing the ability to think as his fingers moved down her throat to caress her collarbone through the neckline of her sweater.
Jack's face lit up into his 'wow, I know something Carter doesn't know' expressions. She didn't mind, dizzy from his gentle touch.
"We've danced around this... thing that I refuse to name... for seven years. We both know it's here, right?"
Sam nodded, giving in to the urge to raise her arm and press her hand against his stomach. His abdominal muscles tensed beneath her touch, and a small sense of satisfaction moved through her. That she had the same effect on him that he had on her.
"The only reason I haven't gone completely insane is for moments like this."
She was beginning to understand, and realized he was right. They were able to keep themselves distant... apart... for most of the time. But sometimes, the need to let go... to give in to the need, even if just a little and just for a moment... was too much to deny. And that was when he would embrace her... or she would just touch his hand... and it was enough to know that they were still there for each other.
"It's getting harder," she said through a tight throat.
Jack nodded. "I know."
"Eventually, moments like this won't be enough—"
"—for either of us. I know."
Tears stung her eyes, and she blinked to try and keep them at bay. One escaped and she felt it run across her temple to her hair. Jack leaned down and kissed the damp spot, and Sam drew in a shuttered breath.
"Then we'll just have to make this weekend a good one. To get us through."
Sam smiled and touched his face. He grasped her wrist and turned his face into her palm, kissing the sensitive skin there. There was so much going unsaid, but Sam knew that most of it didn't need to be said. Jack shifted his weight off his arm and leaned in to press his lips over hers. The kiss was slow and restrained, and turned her inside out.
Then he broke away and rose off the bed in one fluid motion, offering her his hand. She took it and he pulled her to her feet, and against him.
"So, what... we get twenty-four hours to hold us over until... some as-of-yet- undetermine time?"
"Pretty much," Jack said, wrapping his arms around her with his hands clasped together behind her waist. "Can you handle that?"
"Can you?"
He smiled. "Is there an option B?"
"Not a viable one, no."
"Then I can handle it." He smiled. "And if we're really good, we can stretch it out to thirty-six hours."
Sam stepped back and laced her fingers through his. "If we don't go back out soon, they might send a search party for us."
As they walked to the bedroom door, Jack said, "As long as it isn't SG-17. That Sanderson is an idiot."