Note from Gem: There were no published Vice Presidential Debates, only some hilarious
comments on the discussion list about what went on. Long story short, somehow, Hiko got
dragged from his hermit's hut and was forced to run for president. Because he decided that
there wasn't a party cool enough for him, he created his own: The Way of Heaven Party,
whose primary beliefs seemed to revolve around sake, pottery and the art of being surly.

Now that I've explained that, on to the Presidential Debates!

College? What college? Ha! Here's the next part of the whole political
debate thing, be sure to read all the way to the bottom for an exciting
announcement that proves, without a shadow of a doubt, that I have waaaayyyy
too much time on my hands!
Enjoy!
-Gem
(Oh, and thanks Mo-chan for bringing Hiko into this mess! ^^x )


Presidential Debate

And the Players Are:
Peter Jennings, ABC News, moderator (and seriously considering moving back
to Canada) (PJ)
Himura Kenshin, Democratic Party Presidential Nominee (HK)
Shishio Makoto, Republican Party Presidential Nominee (SM)
Yukishiro Enishi, Independent Party Presidential Nominee (YE)
Hiko Seijuuro, Way of Heaven Party Presidential Nominee (HS)

Random RK members MAY pop up
Standard Disclaimers Apply
I have a Imperial China History Midterm Tomorrow
I should study
Genghis Khan was a nutty guy
And now on to the show!

PJ: Greetings and salutations, America. We are LIVE in Washington, D.C.
tonight to air the Presidential Debates. With us tonight are the three front
runners in the race. NOT joining us is the surprise fourth candidate, Hiko
Seijuuro, who announced his candidacy last night at the Vice Presidential
Debates. I have a prepared statement from Hiko concerning his absence. It
reads:

"I do not have to participate in a debate because I am always right. You
know it, I know it and America knows it. Besides, I have a hot date tonight."

PJ: Okay, well, why don't I introduce the other three candidates? Democratic
nominee, Himura Kenshin

HK: Thank you very much, Peter Jennings-dono. Sessha is very pleased to be
here de gozaru.

PJ: Your very welcome, Kenshin. Also joining us is the Republican nominee,
Shishio Makoto,

SM: Good evening, weakling.

PJ: Ahem, and, our third candidate, Independent nominee, Yukishiro Enishi, Welcome
Enishi.

YE: Thanks, and Nee-san says hello.

PJ: Well, gentlemen, doubtless you were watching your VP choices last night,
and except for that unfortunate incident with the chicken and Hiko's
surprise announcement, I must say they did very well in representing their stands and
debating in a way that furthered political discourse. Hopefully, the same will happen tonight.
Now, on to our first question: If there was a viable nuclear threat from another nation, how
would you handle it? We'll start with Kenshin.

HK: Well, Peter-dono, I think that any problem can be solved through long
and thoughtful negotiations. If we can just find out what's bothering that
particular country...

Snort from Shishio

PJ: Do you have an opinion on this, Shishio?

SM: Peter, what my weak sempai over there fails to realize is that this
country isn't going to back down. The only way to deal with them is to nuke
the bejeezus out of them first. They can't kill us if they are already dead.

PJ: Good point. Anything to add, Enishi?

YE: I would first send Kenshin to whatever country I was bombing and THEN
I'd press the big red button.

PJ: Right. Well...we seem to have a question from the audience. Yes, young
lady?

Misao: Himura, if you are elected President, will you pass legislation that
will require Aoshi-sama to ravish me? Because frankly, I'm getting tired of
waiting for him to figure it out on his own.

HK: Oro?

sounds of struggle as Peter Jennings wrestles the mic away from Misao.

PJ: And back to the matter at hand. Everybody here is concerned over the
rising prices of oil in America...how will you solve this problem? Shishio?

SM: Well, I already have a large personal supply of petroleum, so I don't
worry about it. If the others weren't smart enough to get their own large
supplies of petroleum, that's not my problem.

PJ: Ookay. Next question...this is an easy one, fellows. How do your
significant others feel about your race for the presidency? Enishi, we'll
start with you.

YE: Nee-san thinks its a very good idea. I can accomplish my jinchuu faster
if I have the FBI, CIA and the United States Military under my control.

Collective Sweatdrop

PJ: Kenshin?

HK: Well...Kaoru-dono...err...sorry, Kaoru made me do it.

PJ: Shishio?

SM: Yumi likes whatever makes me happy.

PJ: Next question: Yes or no? Kenshin?

HK: Oro?

PJ: Incorrect. Shishio?

SM: No.

PJ: Enishi?

YE: No.

PJ: Good. Next question: Some people are worried about your collective
pasts, ones that are rooted in violence and death, can the American public
trust you with their lives? Shishio?

SM: Nope.

PJ: Enishi?

YE: In they vote for me, then they have nothing to fear.

PJ: Kenshin?

HK: I do admit to having a dark past, but I've overcome that part of
myself...I am simply a peaceful rurouni.

PJ: Here's an ethical question: Does power corrupt? Kenshin?

HK: Yes, definitely. But I think that with the proper upbringing and sense
of self, a person can avoid those pitfalls.

PJ: Enishi?

YE: Power only corrupts those already corrupt with power.

PJ: Huh? Shishio?

SM: The corrupt are the only ones in power, therefore, they are the strong
ones.

The debate continued along this vein for some time. There are only a few
interruptions, once when Enishi became hysterical because "Nee-san" was no
longer smiling at him after an answer, and another time when Shishio tried
to bite Kenshin. Issues were discussed, proposals made and...a few times,
voters were frightened. All in all, a successful night.
But the question remains: WHO will become the next President of the United
States? Will it be the Compassionate Himura? The Conservative Shishio, the
Cocky Hiko or the Crazy Yukishiro?
Here's the fun part: YOU decide.
(The above WAS a plug for the now-defunct voting site. Ignore that. The voters already decided, as you will see.)