The koi carp was looking at him
Seriously, it was.
He stared back at it dully, resisting the urge to dip his hand into the clear water and grabbing it around the neck. The thought struck him funny. Fish have necks? Then he decided he didn't care. Genes was a complicated business, he of all people should know.
A lump rose in his throat. Static where it was, the particular carp, it was Jane Eyre, he guessed if he got all the names right, Shalimar was always creative in naming things; didn't join her friends as they swished back and forth languidly.
Jesse had felt alone earlier, but now he wasn't sure. He was struck by how crazy it was; it was as if the fish knew what he was thinking. And feeling. Funny.
He had been up for hours; the pain woke him up in the middle of the night and he hadn't known what to do except to lie in bed. When the worst had finally passed, he dared not go back to sleep. He'd rather stay awake fighting the pain instead of trapped in the throes of restless slumber when it came. He might no be so luck next time; he might not even wake up.
Footsteps. Behind him. Slow and deliberate, he listened half-heartedly as the sound of feet scraping against the shiny tiles grew louder and louder; slowly and purposefully, as if daring Jesse to take a guess who it was approaching him. Well, whoever it was, Jesse wished he or she would go away.
When the footfalls finally stopped, Jesse stiffened.
"Jesse."
Shalimar. Figures. She who had never failed to wake up at such ungodly hour every day.
"Hey Shal," Jesse said, still keeping his back to her.
Complete silence. Jesse painfully held his breath for long seconds, waiting for what she was going to say next. Please God don't let her come near me. Please. Her eyes. He simply couldn't bear to see what would be reflected in those expressive eyes of hers if he dared to look into them.
But she did nothing of the sort. All of a sudden, Jesse felt a weight leaning against his hunched back, accompanied shortly by the tickle of long sleek hair against his neck. He felt the weight suddenly shift, the muscles pressed against his spine contracting for a few seconds, before relaxing as Shalimar drew in a deep breath.
They shared a moment of intimate silence, both content in their own worlds, conveying more than unspoken words of love and comfort, each offering assurance and support, but of different kinds.
"Wanna help me fix breakfast?" Shalimar asked quietly with a gentleness Jesse had never heard in her before.
**********
"How did he take the news?" Brennan asked softly.
At the dining table, Emma was threatening to throw a piece of her baked potato at Shalimar, and Adam's eyes softened as he watched Jesse throw his head backward and laugh. Then his face darkened. Brennan could see why. His equally sharp eyes didn't miss the way Jesse would close his eyes once in a while, as if in pain, and the way his surrogate brother's face would go slack, almost expressionless at times, before returning to its normal animated mode.
Brennan was trying not to show it, but he was worried about Jesse, really worried, and he simply could not NOT do anything about it.
"Not very well," Adam answered simply. After watching the other three squabble around some more, he turned to face Brennan, his forehead creased. Jesse had indeed accepted the news as calmly as he possible could yesterday, although Adam saw the way Jesse's hands shook when he wanted to give him a shot of sedatives so he could calm him down. What is he thinking? Adam wondered as he gazed again at Jesse, his young face tight and visibly tense as he tried to force himself to eat, to keep his strength up. Adam had tried his best to remove as much of the tumor as possible yesterday with radiotherapy, enough to allow Jesse to still eat whatever he wanted without aggravating his condition, but Adam would have very much preferred it if Jesse had followed his advice and stayed in bed. Bt he knew perfectly well Jesse could be as stubborn as a mule if he wanted to and he just didn't have the heart to tell him no.
"He doesn't have much time," Adam said finally.
Brennan's face went tight. "I'll find her." They listened as Jesse laughed again at something Shalimar or Emma had apparently said, a familiar sound, but minus the usual cheerfulness; something was missing in it, and it hurt them to know, to detect that unmistakable tremble of pain in his laugh.
"I'll find her," Brennan whispered again, but this time to himself.
Author's Notes: Guys, I am so so sorry for the late updates. . . and sorry for the very short chapter too! I'm in the middle of my A-Levels, I sooo need to score As on these papers man.Thanks for being patient!!!
Seriously, it was.
He stared back at it dully, resisting the urge to dip his hand into the clear water and grabbing it around the neck. The thought struck him funny. Fish have necks? Then he decided he didn't care. Genes was a complicated business, he of all people should know.
A lump rose in his throat. Static where it was, the particular carp, it was Jane Eyre, he guessed if he got all the names right, Shalimar was always creative in naming things; didn't join her friends as they swished back and forth languidly.
Jesse had felt alone earlier, but now he wasn't sure. He was struck by how crazy it was; it was as if the fish knew what he was thinking. And feeling. Funny.
He had been up for hours; the pain woke him up in the middle of the night and he hadn't known what to do except to lie in bed. When the worst had finally passed, he dared not go back to sleep. He'd rather stay awake fighting the pain instead of trapped in the throes of restless slumber when it came. He might no be so luck next time; he might not even wake up.
Footsteps. Behind him. Slow and deliberate, he listened half-heartedly as the sound of feet scraping against the shiny tiles grew louder and louder; slowly and purposefully, as if daring Jesse to take a guess who it was approaching him. Well, whoever it was, Jesse wished he or she would go away.
When the footfalls finally stopped, Jesse stiffened.
"Jesse."
Shalimar. Figures. She who had never failed to wake up at such ungodly hour every day.
"Hey Shal," Jesse said, still keeping his back to her.
Complete silence. Jesse painfully held his breath for long seconds, waiting for what she was going to say next. Please God don't let her come near me. Please. Her eyes. He simply couldn't bear to see what would be reflected in those expressive eyes of hers if he dared to look into them.
But she did nothing of the sort. All of a sudden, Jesse felt a weight leaning against his hunched back, accompanied shortly by the tickle of long sleek hair against his neck. He felt the weight suddenly shift, the muscles pressed against his spine contracting for a few seconds, before relaxing as Shalimar drew in a deep breath.
They shared a moment of intimate silence, both content in their own worlds, conveying more than unspoken words of love and comfort, each offering assurance and support, but of different kinds.
"Wanna help me fix breakfast?" Shalimar asked quietly with a gentleness Jesse had never heard in her before.
**********
"How did he take the news?" Brennan asked softly.
At the dining table, Emma was threatening to throw a piece of her baked potato at Shalimar, and Adam's eyes softened as he watched Jesse throw his head backward and laugh. Then his face darkened. Brennan could see why. His equally sharp eyes didn't miss the way Jesse would close his eyes once in a while, as if in pain, and the way his surrogate brother's face would go slack, almost expressionless at times, before returning to its normal animated mode.
Brennan was trying not to show it, but he was worried about Jesse, really worried, and he simply could not NOT do anything about it.
"Not very well," Adam answered simply. After watching the other three squabble around some more, he turned to face Brennan, his forehead creased. Jesse had indeed accepted the news as calmly as he possible could yesterday, although Adam saw the way Jesse's hands shook when he wanted to give him a shot of sedatives so he could calm him down. What is he thinking? Adam wondered as he gazed again at Jesse, his young face tight and visibly tense as he tried to force himself to eat, to keep his strength up. Adam had tried his best to remove as much of the tumor as possible yesterday with radiotherapy, enough to allow Jesse to still eat whatever he wanted without aggravating his condition, but Adam would have very much preferred it if Jesse had followed his advice and stayed in bed. Bt he knew perfectly well Jesse could be as stubborn as a mule if he wanted to and he just didn't have the heart to tell him no.
"He doesn't have much time," Adam said finally.
Brennan's face went tight. "I'll find her." They listened as Jesse laughed again at something Shalimar or Emma had apparently said, a familiar sound, but minus the usual cheerfulness; something was missing in it, and it hurt them to know, to detect that unmistakable tremble of pain in his laugh.
"I'll find her," Brennan whispered again, but this time to himself.
Author's Notes: Guys, I am so so sorry for the late updates. . . and sorry for the very short chapter too! I'm in the middle of my A-Levels, I sooo need to score As on these papers man.Thanks for being patient!!!