******
Thankfully, the old beater started right up and we took off in the direction Scruffy indicated. We bumped along and in the rear view mirror I could see Hairy and Blondie holding on for dear life, their eyes wide with terror. I couldn't help but laugh.
"Why do you laugh?" Scruffy asked.
"Look at those two," I jerked my head to the back. "They act like they've never been in the back of a pickup before."
Scruffy didn't smile. "They haven't," he said flatly.
"What?" I turned to look at him incredulously. (Definitely not in Kentucky, that's for sure!)
"Look out!" he shouted and pointed ahead.
I slammed in the brake and clutch, barely missing the old geezer who seemingly appeared from nowhere.
"What the hell is wrong with you people?" I cursed. (Did people just freaking pop out of the ground around this place or what?)
"We must flee this place!" The old geezer ran up and clutched at my door, his blue eyes wild with terror.
"Why?" Scruffy and I asked in unison.
"They're coming," he blithered. "They're coming and they can't be stopped!" He twisted his head wildly trying to scan all directions.
"Easy, gramps," I patted his hand and tried to soothe him. "Who's coming? The cops? Blondie said he didn't call the cops." I scowled at Blondie in the mirror.
"The Sues! They're coming! We must flee, fly, quickly!" He breathed in terror.
"The Sues? Who the hell's that?" I asked. (Sounds like a bunch of lawyers!)
At the mention of "Sues", my three passengers quailed and wailed in fear, begging me to go anywhere but here.
"Get in back with Legolas and Gimli," Scruffy ordered the old man.
The old geezer fairly leaped into the back and Scruffy turned to me.
"Go as fast as you can. Our lives may be in danger!" He was pale with fright.
"From Sue?" I couldn't believe it but he looked so scared I put the truck into gear and took off at a slow speed.
"Who is Sue and why is she after you guys?" I asked.
"Mary Sues," Scruffy corrected and anxiously began scanning the horizon.
"OK, so what's up with this Mary Sue? She packing heat or something?" I asked him.
Then I got suspicious and slowed down to eyeball him more carefully. "Did you guys do something to this Mary Sue that I don't wanna know about?" I growled and grabbed a wrench off the floor just in case they got any funny ideas about me.
"What? No!" He protested. "Please speed up and I'll explain."
I hesitated and set the wrench in my lap. I shifted gears and gave old blue a bit of gas. We picked up speed and Scruffy was visibly relieved. He looked back at his friends and when he was satisfied that they were safe, he turned back to me.
"Mary Sue," he began. "Is a fictional character usually created by a young girl to place herself in a story. So she can take part in a story with her favorite characters."
"Ah, I see," the light went on in my head. I had heard my niece speak of these things. "Sometimes called a fangirl, right?" I asked him.
He smiled with relief. "Yes, exactly. So you understand the danger to us?"
"No. Not really. How bad can it be?" I asked him. (Oh, famous last words!)
He glanced out the back of the truck. "Bad," he said. "Look."
I glanced in the rearview mirror to see a cloud of dust rapidly gaining on us. The boys in the back were beginning to panic and Blondie whipped out a bow and began shooting arrows into the dust cloud. (What he expected to hit was beyond me). The old geezer started waving a stick around and shouting back at the cloud (what good THAT was supposed to do, I have no idea). Hairy began howling and beating on the rear window in panic.
I have to admit I was kind of curious. I mean, it sort of looked like a tornado but it wasn't shaped like a funnel exactly. It sounded like a tornado, though, lots of roaring and thundering. It was gaining on us and I slowed down to see what it was. Eeep! It was a herd of Amazonian riders on horseback. (We're gonna be attacked by Wild Indians!)
***** Notes:
Sues – Mary Sues.
Gramps/Old Guy/Geezer – Gandalf. (Yeah, I know. I mean it with the greatest affection, I can assure you).
Thankfully, the old beater started right up and we took off in the direction Scruffy indicated. We bumped along and in the rear view mirror I could see Hairy and Blondie holding on for dear life, their eyes wide with terror. I couldn't help but laugh.
"Why do you laugh?" Scruffy asked.
"Look at those two," I jerked my head to the back. "They act like they've never been in the back of a pickup before."
Scruffy didn't smile. "They haven't," he said flatly.
"What?" I turned to look at him incredulously. (Definitely not in Kentucky, that's for sure!)
"Look out!" he shouted and pointed ahead.
I slammed in the brake and clutch, barely missing the old geezer who seemingly appeared from nowhere.
"What the hell is wrong with you people?" I cursed. (Did people just freaking pop out of the ground around this place or what?)
"We must flee this place!" The old geezer ran up and clutched at my door, his blue eyes wild with terror.
"Why?" Scruffy and I asked in unison.
"They're coming," he blithered. "They're coming and they can't be stopped!" He twisted his head wildly trying to scan all directions.
"Easy, gramps," I patted his hand and tried to soothe him. "Who's coming? The cops? Blondie said he didn't call the cops." I scowled at Blondie in the mirror.
"The Sues! They're coming! We must flee, fly, quickly!" He breathed in terror.
"The Sues? Who the hell's that?" I asked. (Sounds like a bunch of lawyers!)
At the mention of "Sues", my three passengers quailed and wailed in fear, begging me to go anywhere but here.
"Get in back with Legolas and Gimli," Scruffy ordered the old man.
The old geezer fairly leaped into the back and Scruffy turned to me.
"Go as fast as you can. Our lives may be in danger!" He was pale with fright.
"From Sue?" I couldn't believe it but he looked so scared I put the truck into gear and took off at a slow speed.
"Who is Sue and why is she after you guys?" I asked.
"Mary Sues," Scruffy corrected and anxiously began scanning the horizon.
"OK, so what's up with this Mary Sue? She packing heat or something?" I asked him.
Then I got suspicious and slowed down to eyeball him more carefully. "Did you guys do something to this Mary Sue that I don't wanna know about?" I growled and grabbed a wrench off the floor just in case they got any funny ideas about me.
"What? No!" He protested. "Please speed up and I'll explain."
I hesitated and set the wrench in my lap. I shifted gears and gave old blue a bit of gas. We picked up speed and Scruffy was visibly relieved. He looked back at his friends and when he was satisfied that they were safe, he turned back to me.
"Mary Sue," he began. "Is a fictional character usually created by a young girl to place herself in a story. So she can take part in a story with her favorite characters."
"Ah, I see," the light went on in my head. I had heard my niece speak of these things. "Sometimes called a fangirl, right?" I asked him.
He smiled with relief. "Yes, exactly. So you understand the danger to us?"
"No. Not really. How bad can it be?" I asked him. (Oh, famous last words!)
He glanced out the back of the truck. "Bad," he said. "Look."
I glanced in the rearview mirror to see a cloud of dust rapidly gaining on us. The boys in the back were beginning to panic and Blondie whipped out a bow and began shooting arrows into the dust cloud. (What he expected to hit was beyond me). The old geezer started waving a stick around and shouting back at the cloud (what good THAT was supposed to do, I have no idea). Hairy began howling and beating on the rear window in panic.
I have to admit I was kind of curious. I mean, it sort of looked like a tornado but it wasn't shaped like a funnel exactly. It sounded like a tornado, though, lots of roaring and thundering. It was gaining on us and I slowed down to see what it was. Eeep! It was a herd of Amazonian riders on horseback. (We're gonna be attacked by Wild Indians!)
***** Notes:
Sues – Mary Sues.
Gramps/Old Guy/Geezer – Gandalf. (Yeah, I know. I mean it with the greatest affection, I can assure you).