Blindly, Jesse literally tore his usually immaculate room apart, rummaging
through clothes and books and all his other belongings, his groping hands
grabbing whatever he laid his touch on, piling it all up into one huge
mountain on his bed. Next to the pile was an open suitcase. His intention
had initially been taking with him as little as possible, the things he
absolutely needed for he doubted he would even have a need for them later.
But now, he couldn't help thinking that he should take everything with him. He couldn't shake the feeling that wherever he was going after this, he was not coming back.
Is this running away? Am I running away? Is that what I'm doing?
Question after question bombarded his already troubled, disturbed mind; Jesse felt as if he was slowly going crazy. No matter how hard he tried to convince himself that he would, he MUST take care of things, only one thought failed not to linger in his head-
He had no idea what to do.
He pulled his drawer open forcefully, intent to empty its contents. His keys, his comb, his wallet.everything lay inside it in perfect order- but Jesse was determined. He had finally decided that he wouldn't leave any sign of him behind in Sanctuary, no sir he was not. He couldn't afford it. If things didn't go as planned-
His friends. They were the important people to him in his life.
"Oh God," Jesse breathed out, rubbing a weary hand over his face. Balling a fist against his mouth, he closed his eyes just as stabs of pain hammered his abdomen. For a second, he thought of Adam, Adam could help. Adam could help make it all go away. He always did.
"NO." It came out a whisper. "No help."
He had to do it alone. He didn't know how but he was going to. There was no other way. Staying here even a minute longer put everyone in jeopardy and he couldn't risk that. He couldn't that to Adam, and to Mutant X. His loyalty demanded him to do this by himself.
*************
Jesse risked a steep half hour in the laboratory, painstakingly downloading all the information he needed, transcribing the genetic coding into a few DNA samples. No one but him knew what the samples were for, but it was the heart of his plan. He was alone in the Sanctuary; Adam had met up with a fellow geneticist to seek for help earlier that morning. How ironic it was Adam had left him alone despite Jesse's condition but when desperation demanded more on his time and attention, Adam wouldn't hesitate, not when one of his protégés' lives was at stake.
The tag at his wrist was flashing blinking red lights. Jesse was in agony, but he put a lid on it and withstanding excruciating pain, he pushed his way through the red hazy cobwebs threatening to cloud his senses and continued with the laborious work.
Next, he spent a couple of minutes typing furiously on the computer and he inserted a blank shiny disk into the disk drive. At last everything was finished. He had got everything he wanted and needed, he hoped.
After everything was ready, it was time for the next stage. But he took some time to go back to his room and as he stood in the middle of his room, empty except for a framed photograph of the four of them taken during their summer getaway on Catalina Island the year before, he felt a heaviness in his heart, a numbness which seemed stuck in his throat, and for a second, Jesse thought he was going to suffocate.
Take care, guys, he thought. Shalimar, Emma and Brennan were all smiling in the picture, arms thrown across each other's shoulders while Jesse himself was trying his best to maintain a serious pose. But there was a hint of a treacherous smile tugging at the edges of his lips and he recalled how fun the day out had been for all of them; they had had a rough time before that, him especially. His father-
No, don't think about that. You've got enough to worry about than to kick yourself in the head for trusting the man you have spent the last 27 years of life loving, for whose attention you couldn't stop yearning-
You're wasting time, Jesse.
He had to agree with that little voice in his head and with heavy but determined steps, he marched slowly toward the hangar where they kept Double Helix. It would do. It would fly him to where he wanted to go and he could send it back to Sanctuary in auto-pilot mode, no worries there.
As Jesse Kilmartin gave the Sanctuary one last, longing look, he made a vow.
And if I succeeded- if I managed to go through this-
Jesse bit his lower lip, his eyes narrowed as he steeled himself against the ever-increasing pain.
I will come back.
But now, he couldn't help thinking that he should take everything with him. He couldn't shake the feeling that wherever he was going after this, he was not coming back.
Is this running away? Am I running away? Is that what I'm doing?
Question after question bombarded his already troubled, disturbed mind; Jesse felt as if he was slowly going crazy. No matter how hard he tried to convince himself that he would, he MUST take care of things, only one thought failed not to linger in his head-
He had no idea what to do.
He pulled his drawer open forcefully, intent to empty its contents. His keys, his comb, his wallet.everything lay inside it in perfect order- but Jesse was determined. He had finally decided that he wouldn't leave any sign of him behind in Sanctuary, no sir he was not. He couldn't afford it. If things didn't go as planned-
His friends. They were the important people to him in his life.
"Oh God," Jesse breathed out, rubbing a weary hand over his face. Balling a fist against his mouth, he closed his eyes just as stabs of pain hammered his abdomen. For a second, he thought of Adam, Adam could help. Adam could help make it all go away. He always did.
"NO." It came out a whisper. "No help."
He had to do it alone. He didn't know how but he was going to. There was no other way. Staying here even a minute longer put everyone in jeopardy and he couldn't risk that. He couldn't that to Adam, and to Mutant X. His loyalty demanded him to do this by himself.
*************
Jesse risked a steep half hour in the laboratory, painstakingly downloading all the information he needed, transcribing the genetic coding into a few DNA samples. No one but him knew what the samples were for, but it was the heart of his plan. He was alone in the Sanctuary; Adam had met up with a fellow geneticist to seek for help earlier that morning. How ironic it was Adam had left him alone despite Jesse's condition but when desperation demanded more on his time and attention, Adam wouldn't hesitate, not when one of his protégés' lives was at stake.
The tag at his wrist was flashing blinking red lights. Jesse was in agony, but he put a lid on it and withstanding excruciating pain, he pushed his way through the red hazy cobwebs threatening to cloud his senses and continued with the laborious work.
Next, he spent a couple of minutes typing furiously on the computer and he inserted a blank shiny disk into the disk drive. At last everything was finished. He had got everything he wanted and needed, he hoped.
After everything was ready, it was time for the next stage. But he took some time to go back to his room and as he stood in the middle of his room, empty except for a framed photograph of the four of them taken during their summer getaway on Catalina Island the year before, he felt a heaviness in his heart, a numbness which seemed stuck in his throat, and for a second, Jesse thought he was going to suffocate.
Take care, guys, he thought. Shalimar, Emma and Brennan were all smiling in the picture, arms thrown across each other's shoulders while Jesse himself was trying his best to maintain a serious pose. But there was a hint of a treacherous smile tugging at the edges of his lips and he recalled how fun the day out had been for all of them; they had had a rough time before that, him especially. His father-
No, don't think about that. You've got enough to worry about than to kick yourself in the head for trusting the man you have spent the last 27 years of life loving, for whose attention you couldn't stop yearning-
You're wasting time, Jesse.
He had to agree with that little voice in his head and with heavy but determined steps, he marched slowly toward the hangar where they kept Double Helix. It would do. It would fly him to where he wanted to go and he could send it back to Sanctuary in auto-pilot mode, no worries there.
As Jesse Kilmartin gave the Sanctuary one last, longing look, he made a vow.
And if I succeeded- if I managed to go through this-
Jesse bit his lower lip, his eyes narrowed as he steeled himself against the ever-increasing pain.
I will come back.