The disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters is missing. Sorry. I just had a thought, what are teacher's meetings like at the Xavier Institute? If they're anything like real teacher's meetings…Boy Xavier is in trouble!
Another Productive Teacher's Meeting at The Institute
"All right let's get this meeting to order shall we?" Xavier suggested as he met with the Instructors of the Xavier Institute in his office. "First order of business I think we should address is the food fight at lunch today."
"He started it!" Logan pointed at Hank.
"Did not!" Hank snapped back at him.
"You hit me on the head with an apple!" Logan snapped.
"Well that was a miscalculation on my part," Hank told him. "I was aiming for Thunderbird! He's the real culprit!"
"No you started it because you overreacted," John told him. "Drama freak!"
"I am not a drama freak!" Hank shouted.
"Yeah! Right!" Logan scoffed.
"I am not!" Hank protested. "Tell him Ororo!"
"Well…" Ororo was trying to be diplomatic. "You do tend to get a little…emotional about certain topics you feel strongly about."
"He freaked out just because I said Shakespeare was an overrated wuss," John waved.
"THOU LIEST!" Hank shot up and pointed at him. "THOU LOGGERHEADED FLAP MOUTHED MEASLE!"
"Told you!" John pointed back. "DRAMA FREAK!"
"BEASTLY KNAVE!" Hank shouted back.
"NUTJOB!" John made a circling motion with his finger next to his head.
"WRECHED AND PEEVISH FELLOW!" Hank snarled.
"COOKIE MONSTER'S LUNATIC COUSIN!" John stood up and glared at Hank.
"ENOUGH!" Xavier shouted. "BOTH OF YOU!"
"He started it!" Hank and John pointed at each other.
"Is it any wonder that the class they're co-teaching is one of the more popular ones?" Logan snickered.
"Yes it's such a comfort knowing that the students see you as role models," Xavier groaned. "Sit down! Both of you! Need I remind you that you are all supposed to be teachers as well as X-Men? You are responsible for educating the next generation of mutants, which means I expect you to act like mature adults. As difficult a task this must be for you I would like you all to try a little harder in the future."
"No wonder you brought Scott and I in as instructors," Jean groaned.
"I agree," Ororo said. "The students are more mature than some of the instructors here!" She grimaced when she heard Warren making kissing sounds. "Knock it off Warren unless you want to end up a real angel!"
"He's just jealous because you're a more respected educator," Hank sniffed.
"No I'm saying she's turning into a real butt kisser lately," Warren snapped.
"You mean she's not kissing your butt?" Hank asked.
"Oh look who's talking!" Warren shouted.
"What is it with you today?" John asked. "I know you're not getting any but Geeze…"
"You're gonna get a knuckle sandwich if you don't…" Hank made a fist.
"Will you guys knock it off?" Scott shouted. "We're supposed to be a team here!"
"Scott's right," Jean said. "We shouldn't be acting like this. It's petty."
"You say that like it's a bad thing," John remarked.
"All right let's move on to another topic shall we?" Xavier held up his hands. "While my office is still in one piece. We need to seriously consider new recruits, not just students but teachers as well."
"Yeah we're barely hanging in with what we've got," Logan grunted. "If we get any more rugrats we're gonna be up the creek."
"Well Forge and Gambit are now tutors," Xavier said.
"Since when?" Scott asked.
"Since this morning," Xavier said. "It will help them become more productive in their education as well as the other students."
"Okay Forge I can see because he has his GED and everything," Scott said. "But Gambit? He doesn't even have his diploma yet! What could he possibly tutor the kids on?"
"French," Xavier said matter of factly.
"How much you wanna bet the Cajun teaches 'em all the swear words?" Logan snickered.
"You must admit Logan having students teach other students does help us a little," Ororo pointed out.
"Yeah not too many other teachers are exactly banging on our doors to work here," John said. He rolled his eyes. "I can't imagine why."
"We're just going to have to make do for now," Xavier said. "Next item up for discussion, school supplies."
"Actually we're all set on that," Logan told him. "We just got our shipment from the ammunitions dealer. I'm glad Hawk recommended him. He's much more efficient with missiles and knock out gas delivery than our last guy. The new buzzsaws need a little oil but…"
"Not those kind of supplies Logan," Xavier sighed. "I'm talking about things like chalkboards, paper, pens, books. That sort of thing."
"Uh I don't see a problem," Warren said. "You are rather wealthy. I mean you can afford getting those things right?"
"Not at the rate we're going!" Xavier snapped. "The bill for some of these items is starting to rival the gross national deficit of Brazil!"
"Well maybe if someone didn't keep burning the books," Hank glared at John.
"Only the crappy ones," John defended.
"If you make one more crack about Shakespeare…" Hank snapped.
"Nobody is making any more judgements about any author!" Xavier interrupted. "Listen all I am asking is that you do your part to conserve."
"Well its not all our fault if you get my drift," Logan folded his arms. "I mean kids are kids. They break stuff."
"Especially young Bedlam," Hank sighed. "Although I must admit he is getting more control over his powers. This week he only caused three light bulbs to explode and only partially destroyed the overhead projector."
"This morning Amara accidentally burned another desk," Ororo groaned. "Of course to be fair there was a bee on it and she sort of freaked out. She has a slight fear of bees."
"Oh for the love of Pete…" John rolled his eyes. "I'm more scared of Boom Boom. Do you know what that nut did the other day? She…"
"Thunderbird you shouldn't call your students names," Jean interrupted. "It's not professional."
"But she is a nut," John said.
"That's beside the point," Scott said. "You're supposed to be encouraging the kids. Not disparaging them."
"Oh so I'm supposed to encourage them to tap dance on the desks singing 'Yankee Doodle Dandy' while wearing a pink uniform?" John asked.
"It's probably another one of her little pranks," Hank said. "At least I hope it's another one of her pranks. Let's face it, we're all getting a little stir crazy lately."
"Yes this leads us to our next topic," Xavier sighed. "While all the other schools are on summer vacation ours are here. They have been feeling a little pressured."
"Well it's not like most of 'em can go home or anything," Logan said. "And even the ones that can we know they're safer here."
"Yes anti-mutant sentiment is growing in popularity again," Xavier sighed. "We need to find alternatives to normal class work. Something to temporarily get their minds off the current situation."
"Lock 'em in the Danger Room under a level 10 scenario," Logan growled. "That'll tire them out."
"I was thinking of a solution a little less…" Xavier searched for the right word.
"Psychotic?" Scott suggested.
"Ha. Ha," Logan glared at him. "And what would you suggest?"
"Well maybe something fun like a pep rally or something?" Jean suggested.
"A pep rally? Here? For what?" John asked.
"Let me see if I get this straight you want the kids to run around screaming about something idiotic and probably burn something to the ground?" Logan asked. "And you think I'm psychotic?"
"Yeah in case you haven't noticed we don't really have a cheerleading squad around here," Warren said.
"Well Tabitha does have this cheerleading outfit she swiped from the pep squad before she got expelled," Jean sighed.
"How do you know that?" Ororo asked.
"She was wearing it in class yesterday," Scott groaned. "Along with a few accessories."
"Oh yes the black mask and whip incident the other day," Xavier pinched the bridge of his nose feeling a massive migraine the other day.
"She claimed it was performance art," Jean shrugged.
"Oh it was a performance all right," Scott groaned.
"I told you she was a nut," John said.
"I think once again we are getting a bit off track here," Xavier said in a desperate attempt to maintain some kind of control. "We need ideas for the students to let off steam and have some fun."
"Send 'em over to the Misfits!" Warren suggested.
"Are you nuts?" Logan snapped. "They'd just send 'em right back, with the Misfits?"
"Oh yeah I forgot," Warren groaned.
"With all the incidents around here I can't see how you could!" Hank said. "But maybe some other kind of field trip is in order?"
"Send 'em to the moon," Logan suggested.
"Very funny Logan," Scott said.
"I'm serious," Logan said. "Maybe then we'll finally get some peace around here."
"Logan it's not a feasible suggestion," Hank said. "There's not exactly a moon base up there or anything."
"Have them make one," Logan told him. "Yeah maybe we can make it some kind of shop project. Tell 'em they'll be graded on it or something."
"As tempting as that is, I think we should pass on that idea…" Xavier said diplomatically.
"Yeah you're right, knowing our luck we'd probably run into some weird alien neighbor," Logan grunted.
"I dunno," John said. "The way things are going we might need a base on the moon. In case we get run out of town."
"Can we get back on track here?" Scott asked. "We need to come up with an idea to help the students."
"So please can we stop with the petty bickering and help the Professor?" Jean asked.
"And you think Storm's a suck up?" Hank whirled on Warren.
"You have a point," Warren said. "Sorry Ororo. You're nowhere near as bad as those two."
"Hold on a minute!" Scott snapped. "Just because I'm not emotionally unstable like some people here…"
"HA!" Warren scoffed.
"Of course you're stable," John remarked. "You two are probably making out like bunnies every chance they get!"
"We are not!" Jean shouted. "THAT IS NONE OF YOUR BUISNESS!"
"It is when you guys fool around in the Danger Room and the Professor's office," Warren snickered.
"I am gonna kill Tabitha!" Jean groaned.
"See even you agree with me that she's a nut!" John said.
"Said the proverbial pot to the kettle!" Hank snapped.
"You wanna start something you overgrown Muppet wanna be?" John whirled on him.
"Bring it on you yokel!" Hank snarled.
"I know you are but what am I?" John retorted.
"Yokel!"
"I know you are but what am I?"
"You stable? Please!" Warren was arguing with Scott. "You're an anal retentive suck up!"
"Well at least I'm not a spoiled playboy in denial!" Scott snapped. "Moping around all the time. 'Oh I have dashing good looks, tons of money and wings, woe is me! Poor little rich boy! Wah! Wah! Wah!'" He made crying motions with his hands. "Even Rogue doesn't mope as much as you do and she has issues!"
"Oh look who's talking!" Warren snapped. "You think everything has to be done a certain way or else it's wrong!"
"If you mean by a certain way the right way yes," Scott argued back.
"I just think the two of you should be more careful!" Ororo said to Jean.
"Storm, no offense but I'll start listening to your advice when you actually get a love life!" Jean said.
"What do you mean by that?" Ororo put her hands to her hips. Soon only Xavier and Logan were not arguing.
"I think the students are not the only ones with cabin fever," Xavier groaned.
"So you're entrusting us the job of educating mutants huh?" Logan looked at Xavier. "Great idea, Charles. Yeah this really gives me hope for the future. And the scary thing is out of everyone in the group, I'm the most mature one. If it's left up to us to teach mutant kind, we're screwed. I'm heading out for a beer," He walked out the door leaving the others to bicker and fight amongst themselves.
"I hate it when Logan's right," Xavier groaned putting his head into his hands. "Now I remember why we don't have many teacher's meetings!"