******
Oh, yeah, the camera thing worked like a charm. The next day I stood on the walls taking pictures of the Sues as best I could from that vantage point and that got rid of quite a few of them. We even talked Supermodel into riding amongst the Sues (she could certainly pass as one) and take more pictures. This eliminated quite a bit more of the evil creatures. But we ran out of film and, geez, wouldn't you know it, not a drugstore in sight. (Imagine that!).
The delegates kept coming and I had taken to hiding in the wings typing in the "Black Book of Doom" while Hairy described the delegates to me.
Of course, he was just a little too blunt so he wasn't quite as effective as I would have liked. When I wrote his Sue descriptions instead of completely vanishing when I hit "save", sometimes there would be a hideous Sue residue left. It was pretty gross. I tried to explain to him that he needed to get a bit more carried away with himself on the descriptors but it just didn't sink in. Alas, he wasn't the wordy or romantic type.
Gorgeous, however, was a piece of work. He could go on and on about someone's dress or hair. When HE gave me a description of the Sue and I hit "save", there wasn't even a whiff of the offending creature left. (He was good!) And if I didn't know better, I would swear he was starting to enjoy himself. (I guess getting rid of your tormentors tends to do that to a guy.)
I was in the stable running the truck engine (doors on the stable open, my moma didn't raise no fool!) and charging the Book when I noticed that the truck was getting dangerously low on gas. This was not good. I'd probably need gas to get back home (where ever the hell THAT was now) and I'd certainly need it to keep charging the Book up. We were winning against the Sues but there was still a lot of cleanup work to be done.
"Hey, Hairy!" I found him in the kitchen. He and I spent a lot of time in the kitchen. "Can you get me anymore of that rot gut you gave me a while ago? I'm gonna need it."
"Aye, lass, what you want it for? Planning on getting one of us drunk so you can take advantage of us?" He winked conspiratorially at me.
"As if," I said and threw a piece of bread at him. "I'm running out of gas in the truck and I think that stuff might work as a gas substitute. Close enough for what we need anyway."
Hairy nodded. "Aye, I can get some for ye. How much do you need?" He asked.
"About a gallon would do."
"What's a gallon?"
"Oh, sorry. About this much," I said and held up a pot so he could take a look at it.
"Ach! Lass! There's not that much in all of Moria this time of year!" He said with surprise.
"What the hell do you mean 'this time of year'?" I was not happy.
"We only make it in the spring. By now most of the stores would be gone. We will need a great fortune in order to get more," he said.
Hells Bells, that figures. (This was a sign of impending doom although I was too distracted to realize it).
"Well, round up what you can, I'm going to start writing again."
*****
Oh, yeah, the camera thing worked like a charm. The next day I stood on the walls taking pictures of the Sues as best I could from that vantage point and that got rid of quite a few of them. We even talked Supermodel into riding amongst the Sues (she could certainly pass as one) and take more pictures. This eliminated quite a bit more of the evil creatures. But we ran out of film and, geez, wouldn't you know it, not a drugstore in sight. (Imagine that!).
The delegates kept coming and I had taken to hiding in the wings typing in the "Black Book of Doom" while Hairy described the delegates to me.
Of course, he was just a little too blunt so he wasn't quite as effective as I would have liked. When I wrote his Sue descriptions instead of completely vanishing when I hit "save", sometimes there would be a hideous Sue residue left. It was pretty gross. I tried to explain to him that he needed to get a bit more carried away with himself on the descriptors but it just didn't sink in. Alas, he wasn't the wordy or romantic type.
Gorgeous, however, was a piece of work. He could go on and on about someone's dress or hair. When HE gave me a description of the Sue and I hit "save", there wasn't even a whiff of the offending creature left. (He was good!) And if I didn't know better, I would swear he was starting to enjoy himself. (I guess getting rid of your tormentors tends to do that to a guy.)
I was in the stable running the truck engine (doors on the stable open, my moma didn't raise no fool!) and charging the Book when I noticed that the truck was getting dangerously low on gas. This was not good. I'd probably need gas to get back home (where ever the hell THAT was now) and I'd certainly need it to keep charging the Book up. We were winning against the Sues but there was still a lot of cleanup work to be done.
"Hey, Hairy!" I found him in the kitchen. He and I spent a lot of time in the kitchen. "Can you get me anymore of that rot gut you gave me a while ago? I'm gonna need it."
"Aye, lass, what you want it for? Planning on getting one of us drunk so you can take advantage of us?" He winked conspiratorially at me.
"As if," I said and threw a piece of bread at him. "I'm running out of gas in the truck and I think that stuff might work as a gas substitute. Close enough for what we need anyway."
Hairy nodded. "Aye, I can get some for ye. How much do you need?" He asked.
"About a gallon would do."
"What's a gallon?"
"Oh, sorry. About this much," I said and held up a pot so he could take a look at it.
"Ach! Lass! There's not that much in all of Moria this time of year!" He said with surprise.
"What the hell do you mean 'this time of year'?" I was not happy.
"We only make it in the spring. By now most of the stores would be gone. We will need a great fortune in order to get more," he said.
Hells Bells, that figures. (This was a sign of impending doom although I was too distracted to realize it).
"Well, round up what you can, I'm going to start writing again."
*****