Chapter 6
An Innocent Pile of Crap
New Characters:
Wario: A fat, egostistical brat whose only talents are eating, bragging, vegging out in front ot the TV, and shoving. Hey, I don't know why, but two words just came into my head. "Mr." and "Krohn". Never mind that. Wario is Mario's rival.
Waluigi: Wario's brother. Unlike Wario, he's super-tall, about seven feet (while Wario stands about... three point five, I'd say) and super-skinny. Sneaky and clever, he loves evil plans and foiling good plans. Oh, and by the way he's Luigi's rival. And also very egotistical.
Koopa: A Koopa is a cute little turtle working for Bowser. Don't ask me why. There are millions out there...
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"HA HA! SIXTY GRAND PRIX VICTORIES IN A ROW! BEAT THAT! FWAHAHAHAHA! NOBODY CAN BEAT ME! I AM A WAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRIOR! EVERYONE SHALL NOW BOW DOWN TO ME! PWAHAHAHAHAH! *makes random turtle noises* I AM MAGNIFICENT! I AM INVINCIBLE! I AM UNBEATABLE! And, yes, I know that the two previous words are the same, but who cares?!? Anyways... SIXTY IN A ROW! I AM A WORLD RECORD HOLDER! PERFECT SCORES TOO! *makes more random turtle noises* I AM KING! AND NOW, LISTEN TO ME! A-A-Ahem... *makes even MORE random turtle noises* THE KING PROCLAIMS THAT MARIO KART BE RENAMED... BOWSER KART! KWAHAHAHAHAHAH! *FINALLY, the rest of the random turtle noises that everyone has been anticipating*"
Well, there goes Bowser, bragging away about his sixtieth Grand Prix victory. Well, people, stop whining about the Peach/Mario plotline. Bowser needs a turn, too, you know...
"AND NOW, I WILL GO OFF ON AN EATING SPREE!" Bowser thudded off, knocking down the gates of the racetrack and heading to Wario's All-I-Can-Eat Buffet.
Five minutes later, Bowser arrived. He opened the creaky doors. As usual, there was Wario racing around as fast as his stubby legs could carry his 308-pound build...
Wario: I am NOT 308 pounds! IDIOTS! I just like to layer! Underneath all those clothes is a slim, trim, looker! (A/N: Yes, I got that from the WarioWorld guidebook...)
.. Ah, whatever. Anyways, as I was saying before the HOG got in the way, Wario was racing around as fast as his stubby legs could carry his 308-pound build - around the buffet tables, that was. Apparently not realizing that he was knocking over chairs, tables, drink dispensers, etc. Yes, Wario was stuffing his face with every food in the buffet, which dozens of Koopas had tirelessly worked to prepare. Nobody else was in the buffet. Except Waluigi, cowering in a corner, whining, "But I want some food!"
Bowser ran through the door, making a Bowser-shaped crack in the wall.
"HEY!" Wario instantly stopped, allowing food to dribble down his quadruple chin and beefy neck. "THIS IS MINE! ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL MINE!"
"OH YEAH?!? " Bowser took a step forward.
Wario looked up, intimidated. He wasn't used to customers talking back to him.
"WHO SAYS?!?" Bowser thundered.
"Umm... ummm... ummmm.... I DO!"
"WELL, SAY NO MORE!" Bowser ran up to the buffet table that Wario was hoggishly eating at...
Wario: SAMPLING!! I was SAMPLING!!!
Okay, fine, SAMPLING... and Bowser ate the table whole. Including Wario, who had been standing on top of the table. "Ummm... ummm... ummm..." Wario's remains dribbled down Bowser's chin. "That was gooooood..." Meanwhile, millions of Wario fans wept bitterly, tears flowing down their hard-earned quadruple chins.
Waluigi inched back. "Don't... eat... me!"
"AH! IT'S ANOTHER MEAL!" Bowser ran up to Waluigi and ate him whole. "Ummmm... umm.... ummmm...." Waluigi's remains dribbled down Bowser's chin. "That was gooood..." Meanwhile, millions of Waluigi fans wept bitterly, tears flowing down their hard-earned pointy chins.
Not more than ten seconds had passed by before Bowser had scooped up all 49 of the remaining buffet tables and eaten them whole. "Ummmm... ummm... ummm..." The buffet tables' remains dribbled down Bowser's chin. "That was goooooood..." Meanwhile, millions of buffet table fans wept bitterly, tears flowing down their hard-earned... um, square chins.
"I'M... STILL... HUNGRY! I... WANT... MORE!" Bowser demanded. Fortunately, all of the Koopas had escaped out the Koopa-shaped emergency exit.
A just-gained-3000-pounds-but-that's-nothing Bowser stomped out the Bowser-shaped crack in the wall. He started sprinting and eating everything in sight. When he had eaten everything in his limited vision, he jumped up and down angrily. "GIMME... MORE... FOOOOOOOOOOOD!"
To make a long story short: The floor cracked, Bowser fell through, and he ended up in a strange room with three Warp Pipes and an innocent pile of crap in front of the pipes. Hmmm, I have a feeling I've got deja vu again. But then again, I'm crazy, so who are you to believe me? Or maybe it was in the last chapter but I am too dense to notice. Oh, wait. That's unlikely...
You guessed it. Bowser immediately ate the pile of crap.
He lunged for the first Warp Pipe, which was made out of straw. Easily he ate it.
He lunged for the second Warp Pipe, which was made out of sticks. Easily he ate it.
He then lunged for the third Warp Pipe. It was made out of bricks. Weirdly, he couldn't eat it... "HEY, WHAT THE Fcensored..." Bowser shouted, before hearing a strange little voice coming from... somewhere.
"Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!"
"Oh, fine! Fine! I'll jump down this one. But there better be something good to eat down there, cuz I'm STILL HUNGRY!" Bowser yelled. He jumped down the pipe.
An Innocent Pile of Crap
New Characters:
Wario: A fat, egostistical brat whose only talents are eating, bragging, vegging out in front ot the TV, and shoving. Hey, I don't know why, but two words just came into my head. "Mr." and "Krohn". Never mind that. Wario is Mario's rival.
Waluigi: Wario's brother. Unlike Wario, he's super-tall, about seven feet (while Wario stands about... three point five, I'd say) and super-skinny. Sneaky and clever, he loves evil plans and foiling good plans. Oh, and by the way he's Luigi's rival. And also very egotistical.
Koopa: A Koopa is a cute little turtle working for Bowser. Don't ask me why. There are millions out there...
------------------------------------------------------------------
"HA HA! SIXTY GRAND PRIX VICTORIES IN A ROW! BEAT THAT! FWAHAHAHAHA! NOBODY CAN BEAT ME! I AM A WAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRIOR! EVERYONE SHALL NOW BOW DOWN TO ME! PWAHAHAHAHAH! *makes random turtle noises* I AM MAGNIFICENT! I AM INVINCIBLE! I AM UNBEATABLE! And, yes, I know that the two previous words are the same, but who cares?!? Anyways... SIXTY IN A ROW! I AM A WORLD RECORD HOLDER! PERFECT SCORES TOO! *makes more random turtle noises* I AM KING! AND NOW, LISTEN TO ME! A-A-Ahem... *makes even MORE random turtle noises* THE KING PROCLAIMS THAT MARIO KART BE RENAMED... BOWSER KART! KWAHAHAHAHAHAH! *FINALLY, the rest of the random turtle noises that everyone has been anticipating*"
Well, there goes Bowser, bragging away about his sixtieth Grand Prix victory. Well, people, stop whining about the Peach/Mario plotline. Bowser needs a turn, too, you know...
"AND NOW, I WILL GO OFF ON AN EATING SPREE!" Bowser thudded off, knocking down the gates of the racetrack and heading to Wario's All-I-Can-Eat Buffet.
Five minutes later, Bowser arrived. He opened the creaky doors. As usual, there was Wario racing around as fast as his stubby legs could carry his 308-pound build...
Wario: I am NOT 308 pounds! IDIOTS! I just like to layer! Underneath all those clothes is a slim, trim, looker! (A/N: Yes, I got that from the WarioWorld guidebook...)
.. Ah, whatever. Anyways, as I was saying before the HOG got in the way, Wario was racing around as fast as his stubby legs could carry his 308-pound build - around the buffet tables, that was. Apparently not realizing that he was knocking over chairs, tables, drink dispensers, etc. Yes, Wario was stuffing his face with every food in the buffet, which dozens of Koopas had tirelessly worked to prepare. Nobody else was in the buffet. Except Waluigi, cowering in a corner, whining, "But I want some food!"
Bowser ran through the door, making a Bowser-shaped crack in the wall.
"HEY!" Wario instantly stopped, allowing food to dribble down his quadruple chin and beefy neck. "THIS IS MINE! ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL MINE!"
"OH YEAH?!? " Bowser took a step forward.
Wario looked up, intimidated. He wasn't used to customers talking back to him.
"WHO SAYS?!?" Bowser thundered.
"Umm... ummm... ummmm.... I DO!"
"WELL, SAY NO MORE!" Bowser ran up to the buffet table that Wario was hoggishly eating at...
Wario: SAMPLING!! I was SAMPLING!!!
Okay, fine, SAMPLING... and Bowser ate the table whole. Including Wario, who had been standing on top of the table. "Ummm... ummm... ummm..." Wario's remains dribbled down Bowser's chin. "That was gooooood..." Meanwhile, millions of Wario fans wept bitterly, tears flowing down their hard-earned quadruple chins.
Waluigi inched back. "Don't... eat... me!"
"AH! IT'S ANOTHER MEAL!" Bowser ran up to Waluigi and ate him whole. "Ummmm... umm.... ummmm...." Waluigi's remains dribbled down Bowser's chin. "That was gooood..." Meanwhile, millions of Waluigi fans wept bitterly, tears flowing down their hard-earned pointy chins.
Not more than ten seconds had passed by before Bowser had scooped up all 49 of the remaining buffet tables and eaten them whole. "Ummmm... ummm... ummm..." The buffet tables' remains dribbled down Bowser's chin. "That was goooooood..." Meanwhile, millions of buffet table fans wept bitterly, tears flowing down their hard-earned... um, square chins.
"I'M... STILL... HUNGRY! I... WANT... MORE!" Bowser demanded. Fortunately, all of the Koopas had escaped out the Koopa-shaped emergency exit.
A just-gained-3000-pounds-but-that's-nothing Bowser stomped out the Bowser-shaped crack in the wall. He started sprinting and eating everything in sight. When he had eaten everything in his limited vision, he jumped up and down angrily. "GIMME... MORE... FOOOOOOOOOOOD!"
To make a long story short: The floor cracked, Bowser fell through, and he ended up in a strange room with three Warp Pipes and an innocent pile of crap in front of the pipes. Hmmm, I have a feeling I've got deja vu again. But then again, I'm crazy, so who are you to believe me? Or maybe it was in the last chapter but I am too dense to notice. Oh, wait. That's unlikely...
You guessed it. Bowser immediately ate the pile of crap.
He lunged for the first Warp Pipe, which was made out of straw. Easily he ate it.
He lunged for the second Warp Pipe, which was made out of sticks. Easily he ate it.
He then lunged for the third Warp Pipe. It was made out of bricks. Weirdly, he couldn't eat it... "HEY, WHAT THE Fcensored..." Bowser shouted, before hearing a strange little voice coming from... somewhere.
"Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!"
"Oh, fine! Fine! I'll jump down this one. But there better be something good to eat down there, cuz I'm STILL HUNGRY!" Bowser yelled. He jumped down the pipe.