Chapter 8
A-A-A-ATTACK!
To Make A Long Story Short:
Wario hit the ground, it naturally fell through, and where did he land?
In a black room with nothing more than a Warp Pipe... oh... yeah.... I know... I promise this will be the last time this boring, repetitive room is mentioned.
Me: mentions boring, repetitive room
Oh. Sorry. Anyways, he landed in a... .... .... room. Shortly after Waluigi cruised by, also falling into the ... ... .... room.
"Whee! Fun fun fun! That was fun! Hahaha!" Waluigi went on.
Wario punched Waluigi's waist, which was the highest spot he could reach. "Get back to reality, man," he snapped. "And, by the way, 'reality' is the fact that I CAN'T fit down this Warp Pipe? I need one of those little swirlie thingies that you hop into and swirl around like in Wario Land 4!"
"I thought I told you to go on a diet."
"I DID go on a diet."
"Oh, yeah, and WHAT kind of quack 'diet'..." Waluigi looked like any minute he was going to start rolling on the floor laughing.
"And it's WORKING."
"Um, and how?"
"Today, when I put on my yellow shirt, there was enough room for an ANT to fit in there with me!" Wario looked proud of his achievement.
Waluigi gave in and started rolling on the floor laughing. "But... that... was... your... HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA... loosest... shirt!"
"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR... Didn't I vow to only eat chocolate products for the rest of the year? Cuz that leads to malnutrition, which leads to skinniness, which leads to GLORY! Oh, and that does not mean that YOU are glorious, 98-Pound Boy."
It was too late. Waluigi had already jumped down the pipe, with enough room for a billion ants to fit in there with him.
Wario just stood there, staring at the pipe, trying to think of a solution. (A/N: I know he's too dumb to do that, but what else could he think of? Cheese?) Then, he got it. "I GOT IT!"
"I'll jump into this pipe headfirst! I AM ALL MIGHTY! And I will show that bony Waluigi boy that I'M NOT FAT, I'M JUST BIG BONED! SO THEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE!"
My Science Teacher: Uh, actually, there is no such thing as big bones. Everyone's bones are about the same size. It's just the shocking amount of fat that is making 65 percent of America obese... Blah blah blah...
Wario: SHUT UP! And I don't even live in this America place, anyways. I live in WARIO WORLD, where everyone is FAT! (obviously forgetting about his 98-pound counterpart)
So he did his patented Wario victory pose, took hold of his ingenious new plan, and jumped in there headfirst.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
FIVE SECONDS LATER.
"EUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURGH! GET ME OUUUUUUUUUT OF HEEEEEEEEERE! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" Wario hollered, kicking his legs furiously. Of course, he was staring into a big black emptiness, but his butt had gotten stuck at the top. So there he was. Looking like a big fool - oh wait, he is a big fool. Didn't I say that already? "WHAT THE F... CALL AAA! NOOOOOOW!"
He heard a thud. Six more thuds. "American Automobile Association here, how may we help you?"
"GRRRR... MY FREAKIN' BUTT IS STUCK... AAAAAARGH..."
"Oh." An AAA crew member smirked. "Again? DIdn't we tell you to go on a..."
".. Diet? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I went on a diet. It's not me! These Warp Pipes have gotten skinnier! And out of lack of consideration for BIG-BONED people, the Mushroom Kingdom has agreed to make Warp Pipes the only acceptable form of transportation! GRRRRRRRRRRR!..."
"Um, right. Oookay. Yeah."
The next thing Wario felt was the sensation of sharp objects poking his butt. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO USE OOOOOOOOOOIL!" No answer. The sensation kept on growing, and he kept on kicking his legs. Every ten seconds, he would kick an AAA member in the face, which gave him pleasure. "WHAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"
The sharp objects didn't stop.
"QUIT IT! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, A BUNCH OF NINJAS?!?" Wario screamed.
Suddenly, they stopped.
"IT WORK..." Wario began to do his victory pose, and realized he didn't have enough room. Instead, he heard tittering and whispering. "WHAT?!? WHAT?!? TELL ME! TELL ME! NOOOOOOOOOOW! I DEMAND TO KNOW..."
The AAA grew silent. There was a sound of whipping off clothes.
"Actually, we are ninjas."
A-A-A-ATTACK!
To Make A Long Story Short:
Wario hit the ground, it naturally fell through, and where did he land?
In a black room with nothing more than a Warp Pipe... oh... yeah.... I know... I promise this will be the last time this boring, repetitive room is mentioned.
Me: mentions boring, repetitive room
Oh. Sorry. Anyways, he landed in a... .... .... room. Shortly after Waluigi cruised by, also falling into the ... ... .... room.
"Whee! Fun fun fun! That was fun! Hahaha!" Waluigi went on.
Wario punched Waluigi's waist, which was the highest spot he could reach. "Get back to reality, man," he snapped. "And, by the way, 'reality' is the fact that I CAN'T fit down this Warp Pipe? I need one of those little swirlie thingies that you hop into and swirl around like in Wario Land 4!"
"I thought I told you to go on a diet."
"I DID go on a diet."
"Oh, yeah, and WHAT kind of quack 'diet'..." Waluigi looked like any minute he was going to start rolling on the floor laughing.
"And it's WORKING."
"Um, and how?"
"Today, when I put on my yellow shirt, there was enough room for an ANT to fit in there with me!" Wario looked proud of his achievement.
Waluigi gave in and started rolling on the floor laughing. "But... that... was... your... HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA... loosest... shirt!"
"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR... Didn't I vow to only eat chocolate products for the rest of the year? Cuz that leads to malnutrition, which leads to skinniness, which leads to GLORY! Oh, and that does not mean that YOU are glorious, 98-Pound Boy."
It was too late. Waluigi had already jumped down the pipe, with enough room for a billion ants to fit in there with him.
Wario just stood there, staring at the pipe, trying to think of a solution. (A/N: I know he's too dumb to do that, but what else could he think of? Cheese?) Then, he got it. "I GOT IT!"
"I'll jump into this pipe headfirst! I AM ALL MIGHTY! And I will show that bony Waluigi boy that I'M NOT FAT, I'M JUST BIG BONED! SO THEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE!"
My Science Teacher: Uh, actually, there is no such thing as big bones. Everyone's bones are about the same size. It's just the shocking amount of fat that is making 65 percent of America obese... Blah blah blah...
Wario: SHUT UP! And I don't even live in this America place, anyways. I live in WARIO WORLD, where everyone is FAT! (obviously forgetting about his 98-pound counterpart)
So he did his patented Wario victory pose, took hold of his ingenious new plan, and jumped in there headfirst.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
FIVE SECONDS LATER.
"EUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURGH! GET ME OUUUUUUUUUT OF HEEEEEEEEERE! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" Wario hollered, kicking his legs furiously. Of course, he was staring into a big black emptiness, but his butt had gotten stuck at the top. So there he was. Looking like a big fool - oh wait, he is a big fool. Didn't I say that already? "WHAT THE F... CALL AAA! NOOOOOOW!"
He heard a thud. Six more thuds. "American Automobile Association here, how may we help you?"
"GRRRR... MY FREAKIN' BUTT IS STUCK... AAAAAARGH..."
"Oh." An AAA crew member smirked. "Again? DIdn't we tell you to go on a..."
".. Diet? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I went on a diet. It's not me! These Warp Pipes have gotten skinnier! And out of lack of consideration for BIG-BONED people, the Mushroom Kingdom has agreed to make Warp Pipes the only acceptable form of transportation! GRRRRRRRRRRR!..."
"Um, right. Oookay. Yeah."
The next thing Wario felt was the sensation of sharp objects poking his butt. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO USE OOOOOOOOOOIL!" No answer. The sensation kept on growing, and he kept on kicking his legs. Every ten seconds, he would kick an AAA member in the face, which gave him pleasure. "WHAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"
The sharp objects didn't stop.
"QUIT IT! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, A BUNCH OF NINJAS?!?" Wario screamed.
Suddenly, they stopped.
"IT WORK..." Wario began to do his victory pose, and realized he didn't have enough room. Instead, he heard tittering and whispering. "WHAT?!? WHAT?!? TELL ME! TELL ME! NOOOOOOOOOOW! I DEMAND TO KNOW..."
The AAA grew silent. There was a sound of whipping off clothes.
"Actually, we are ninjas."