Life: Hi again! Hi, hi, hi! Glad you came back! Yes, indeed! I loved the many, many reviews I received! *looks at large number of reviews and faints*

Kelly: Great. Now Life is dead. Oh, well, I guess I'll have to take over. Here's the next chapter. *refills everyone's buckets of popcorn*

***

Five: Food Worship And Squashed Love

Jenny returned to the table half an hour later. There were still some dark spots on her pants but she looked all right.

"Did everything come off, Jenny?" Delia asked.

Jenny smiled. "Yep," she said. She turned to Misty. Misty turned to her. Jenny drew a finger across her throat and let her tongue hang out. Misty paled and looked away quickly.

"Hey, Mom, where's the soda?" Ash asked after inhaling a burger.

Delia held up a three-liter of grape soda and thumped it down loudly on the table, making all the plates rattle.

Brock bit off another small piece of his cheese burger. Then he caught Jenny's eye and held it up for her to see.

He ate it into the shape...of a heart, Jenny thought in disgust.

James got three more grilled cheese halves and piled them on his plate. He then took the halves, his three burgers, his sandwich, and his small bowl of soup and crammed it all into his glass of Kool-Aid, which he then picked up and guzzled.

Maia's eye twitched at the performance of gluttony.

James had soon shoved in three more sandwiches. He couldn't even close his mouth, he had packed so much food in. Even Ash thought that was ridiculous.

That is so gross, Ash thought as he smuggled another hamburger into his pocket. At least I'm saving mine.

"So, um, Ms. Ketchum, do you always make big, big meals like this?" Maia asked. "I don't think it's bad, of course. I think it's wonderful. But it must really cut into your pocketbook, right?"

"Oh, don't worry," Misty assured her. "Ash eats like this all the time."

"Hey!" Ash protested.

Misty gestured with her fork. "Oh, don't try to deny it at all, Ash Ketchum," she said. "While we were traveling, you would've eaten Brock's vest if you had even thought it was made of some kind of food."

Ash stood up and glared at her. "Would not!" he said. "I'm no food hog!"

As if to disprove his point, some of the hamburgers he'd sneaked fell out of his pocket and onto the floor.

"Uh-huh." Misty said, her chin in her hand, her elbow on the table, and her eyes half-closed in triumph, narrowed in Ash's direction. "Not a food hog. I gotcha."

"Ash Ketchum!" Delia scolded as she stood up, her hands on her hips. "I made it clear that I didn't want you stealing any food away from the table. Now you go and change your pants so that that burger grease won't leak into your underwear."

Red-faced, Ash got up and left for his room amid snickers from Team Rocket and Gary.

Mr. Mime hurriedly swept the wasted burgers away.

Brock thought he saw another chance to try and win Jenny over. So he got out of his chair and leapt in lovestruck strides to Jenny's side. He grabbed her hands again.

"Do I need to punch you for you to get the message?!" Jenny yelled at him.

"There is nothing either of us can do against fate! I swear by the sun, moon and stars that I will win your heart!" Brock pledged dramatically.

"Get away from me," Jenny said.

Everyone except Brock did just that.

"There's no use denying it!" Brock said, his face so romance red that it was nearly aglow. "Someday you too will admit that you and I were meant to be together!"

Crack!

Misty's eyes widened.

Delia gasped.

James' finally empty mouth hung open.

Pikachu shrank back a little more.

Maia stared.

Waterfall tears streamed down brokenhearted Brock's cheeks. Jenny had just slapped him across the face. "NO!" he cried. He melted into a puddle of despair. "What will I do without my true love?"

Misty came over and, instead of grabbing him by the ear, she mercifully took his arm and led him back to his chair.

***

Kelly: There you go. It's the end of the chapter.

*Life is lying in Kelly's lap, still passed out*

Kelly: Well, I think that, despite what the large number has already done to her, LifeLite even now wants more and more reviews. So, please continue to review. If LifeLite really does die, rest assured I'll take over the story.

Raucous Reader: No! You're too boring!

Kelly: Shut up before I send an assassin after you. Now, where was I...

Life: I'm alive! Yaaah! I'm aliiive!!

Kelly: Hey, did you see the reviews?

Life: Where?

*Kelly points to reviews. Life sees and faints again*

Kelly: But continue to review. Thank you very much.

Life: *arises* Yes, do! Thanks, guys!

~Life, the girl who faints from large amounts of good reviews.

(no previews because my hands hurt! Sorry.)