Life: Hello! Welcome! Glad you could make it back! Here's the next chapter!

***

Seven: Twerps Rhymes With Glerps And Usurp

"All right, everyone, clear out!" Delia yelled twenty minutes later, after all had cleaned up. She began clearing the table as her many guests left the dining room.

Ah, perfect time to steal Pikachu, Jessie thought. Now if I can only find a way to tell James and Meowth...

"That was delicious!" Maia said. "I'm full!"

"Gee, Ash, your mom must be a millionaire to buy this much food just for lunch," Jenny said.

"I wonder how much she has for dinner?" Maia said.

Brock had finally mopped up his tears and seemed to be recovering. No one could miss the red mark on his cheek though. "Who would've thought your mom would call me in Pewter City just to have lunch here!" he said to Ash.

Ash's eyes widened. "She did? Tell me she didn't."

"She did," Brock said.

Gary reclined on the couch, taking up all three cushions. "Boy, if your mom didn't exist, I really wouldn't like Ketchums, Ash!" he said.

"Alright, look," Ash growled. "I let you come in my house. I let you eat up my food. I let you steal food that I had dibs on--three times. The least you could do is quit insulting me!"

Gary just snorted.

"Oh, Gary," Maia giggled. "You're terrible."

"Yeah, I know," Jenny replied. "Just like you."

"Why do you keep snapping at me?" Maia asked her.

Jenny glared at Maia. "Why do you keep acting like an airhead?"

"Why do I keep letting Gary push me around and steal my food!" Ash roared.

"Ash, you eat too much food, anyway," Misty said.

"At least enough to fatten up the entire population of Kanto, if not just them," Gary added.

Ash suddenly dived at Gary, knocking him off the couch. They rolled together on the floor.

"Hey! Cut it out!" Maia shouted.

"Kick his butt, Ash!" Jenny cheered.

"Ash! Stop acting so immature!" Misty yelled.

Brock managed to pull the two apart. "Now, there's no reason for you two to act like you're Pokémon in a battle," he said to the two panting boys. "I think we can settle this like mature adults."

"That's the problem, idiot," Jenny said sarcastically. "There are no mature people in this room, except for me. Much less any adults."

"I resent that remark!" Maia said.

"Resent away, sister!" Jenny shot back.

Misty got between them. "Stop!" she yelled. "We don't want another fight on our hands!"

"I wasn't asking for any trouble," Maia defended.

"She was preparing to get creamed, that's all," Jenny chimed.

Somebody whined. Everyone turned to see Jessie with her hands on her ears. "I can't...oh, the pressure...I can't stand it!"

"Can't stand what?" Gary asked.

That question was answered when the music started up.

"Prepare for trouble, you asked for it, twerps!" Jessie said.

"Make it double...um, what rhymes with 'twerps'?" James asked.

"Glerps," Ash suggested.

Everyone gave Ash an is-your-I.Q.-twelve-or-what look.

"Oh, that isn't a word?" Ash said in a small voice.

"You could have said 'slurps' or 'burps' and then you wouldn't have sounded like a stupid moron," Misty told him.

James tapped his finger on his chin and looked up at the ceiling. "Oh, I know!" he cried. "Make it double, this lunch we will usurp!"

Everyone gave James a you-poor-fool-why-on-earth-did-your-mother-have-you look.

"Do you even know what 'usurp' means?" Jenny asked him.

"I thought it was a fancy word for eat," James said.

Everyone exchanged now-I-know-he's-a-totally-pathetic-idiot glances.

Jessie grabbed James' arm and dragged him to the door. "We'll be leaving now," she said. Who cares about Pikachu? I'm not letting James humiliate Team Rocket anymore!

"Tell Mizz Ketch'm dat da meal wuz grayte," Meowth said as he followed Jessie and James out the door. "An' sorree fer da Koollayed on da floah. I wuz jes' tryin' t' drink it."

***

Life: Done with another chapter! My hands are starting to cramp from all this strenuous typing!

Kelly: And don't forget to review. We would love to hear your comments and constructive criticism.

Life: But I want good reviews mostly! Very many, many, maneeeee!

Kelly: We have one more chapter, so try to stay tuned, people.

Life: Yes, please do! Thanks, thanks, and, well, more thanks! This is really fun!

Kelly: So she says. But you don't see me laughing.

Life: Well, anyway, bye!

~Life, the girl who wishes she had a Pikachu and eats Ramen noodles after midnight

*~*

Life: Thought I forgot the previews, didn't ya? Nope! Here it is!

"Ash, go change your pants before the burger grease soaks into your underwear," Gary said in a fake motherly voice. "And while you're at it, do it out here so we can all laugh at you!"

"Aw, shut up, Gary," Ash growled. "I hate you and your sausage-waffle-and-cheeseburger-stealing ways."

Gary went on. "I told you to buy some Slim-Fast, but no, you refuse to stop eating all my food. Did you know I filed bankruptcy yesterday because I have a $320,237,185,758,246 food bill?"

That was it. It was war.

That's next time in "After-Lunch Combat'!