Hey everybody^-^ This is Airenidale! The Authoress has writers block, and I
as the co-writer must continue this fanfiction. WARNING! This chapter has
a few things that "young" people shouldn't read.
Authoress: My turn, Most of this story is Airenidale's but I helped quite a bit as well. This story is xtraxtra long for the long wait. Also, the story now must be PG-13 because of some language and gore. Also, Asseria is the character of my Authoress friend, RoseannRiddle.
Disclaimer: I do not own YGO or LOTR I own: Happipurple & Authoress My friend owns: Airenidale RoseannRiddle owns: Asseria The Guest stars own themselves.
*Magical ropes fall off Airenidale *
Airenidale: Yipee! I'm free^-^
Authoress: Cheap piece of shit! They don't make it like they used to!
Anonymous elf: My name is Nia.
Tea: But, but, but, that's a girls name!
Nia: Yea, what did you think I was?
Tristan: You changed?
Mrs. Kaczmarczak (kaz-mar-zack): * monotone expression and voice* You need to keep your tenses strait or else you will cause confusion.
Authoress: OOH MY GOD!!!!! NOT MRS. MONOTONE!!! AHHHHH* continues for 2 pages* *waves arms franticly and purple gorillas, evil raccoons, carrot bags, the wise and mighty duck-billed platypus, and the three foot tall purple salamander that tap dances and sings appears and disappears randomly (these are inside jokes by the way)*
The Wise and Mighty Duck-Billed Platypus (TWAMDBP): *waddles up to Joey * Erpp.
Airenidale: *gasp * The Wise and Mighty Duck-Billed Platypus!
Joey: This thing is retarded.
Airenidale: How dare you! Show respect to your surpior!
TWAMDBP: Erp^_^ *rubs against Joey's leg *
Tea: Aww, the Psyduck looking thingythigy (a wonderful new word thanks to typos) likes Joey.
Dark: *sweat drop * Uh, you play Pokémon?
Tea: Uh, no? *hids gameboy behind back *
Shadowy voice (you'll find out in a later chapter): Tea must die.
Tea: Umm, eep? Joey: Yanno what, this purple duck thing is kinda cute. *scratches chin *
TWAMDBP: Erp.? *disappears *
Joey: Aww!
The Three Foot Tall Purple Salamander (TTFTPS): *British accent * Would you care for a drink of water?
Happipurple: DON'T DRINK THE WATER OR ELSE YOU'LL TURN INTO A THREE FOOT TALL PURPLE SALAMANDER THAT TAP-DANCES AND SINGS " I'm better than you 'caz I'm a three foot tall purple salamander that tap dances and * pauses then hits a reeeeeeally high note * SINGS"
TTFTPS: *snaps fingers * damn. *disappears *
Happipurple: Oh no! She's gone insane! We have to do something!
Yami: So have you.
Faerie Thingy: *appears *
Joey: Hey Yug, look! It's one of those game pixies!
Faerie Thingy: I'm Asseria^-^ I'm Galadriel's lil' helper lady person^-^
Tristan: You're a person O.o?
Asseria: No duh!!!! *pokes Tristan in the eye *
Haldir: Asseria! Make that horrible monotonous troll disappear!!!!!
Asseria: *stubbornly * you didn't say the magic word.
All but Authoress and Mrs. Kaczmarczak: PLEASE!!!!!!!!
Asseria: Bye-bye^-^ *snaps fingers *
Mrs. Kaczmarczak: *disappears*
All: Thank God!
Tea: *oblivious and whining* Why is there something wrong with everyone I like! (
Airenidale: Hey, are we continuing this plot line or not? Come on hustle! Let's move! Yo, Haldir, Ass, lead the way!
Asseria: Hey, that was offensive!
Airenidale: Oops, sorry.
Pippin: Seriously, what's paper?
Merry: And what's tape?
Six minutes later.
Airenidale: *randomly * And with a score of 6 and 2, fans vote Legolas has better hair than Mai!
All but Airenidale: *Stare blankly*
Airenidale: Uhh, random synapse?
Gimli: (The slow one) What's a sinapist?
Authoress: *Snaps fingers and pulls dictionary out of nowhere * A snyapse is the point where one nervous impulse passes from one neuron to another.
Gimli: I'm sorry I asked.
Time Space Continum: *tears * (remember this point) *Review comes out and only Airenidale can hear it *
Airenidale: WHAT!!!! Legolas's hair is NOT a wig!!!! I'll show you! *Jumps on Legolas's back and starts pulling at his hair *
Legolas: ACK! Somebody get her off me! Help!
Joey: Sorry Legs, but yer on yer own.
Airenidale: I told you it was real! *jumps off Legolas * *Hysterical laughter *
Tea: What the hell was that?
Yugi: When did you start swearing?
Joey: *Groan * Uhhhhhhggggggg. I can't go on like this! Must. stop. rest. *faints *
Mai: Wow, he made it longer than five minutes this time!
Legolas: *soft gasp * Is that the Nimrodel?
Airenidale: Yay! Legolas! Let's sing the song!
Legolas and Airenidale: *beaming * An Elven-maid there was of old
All: * hear monotonous singing *
Mai: Oh my god! Asseria, I thought you got rid of that nightmare!
Asseria: Hehe! Fooled ya^-^
Legolas: Anyway, shall we continue?
Airenidale: Okie dokie^-^
Haldir: I'm singing, too!
Elves: A shining star by day:
Aragorn: *snaps fingers to the beat *
Mai: What are you doing you idiot! Turtles go faster than that song! And you elves, SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!! I have got to teach you some new music!!! And another thing, we are stoping here because my hair is falling down! All of you, you need baths! Especially the boys!!!
Males: *suspiciously * Why?
Mai: Because you stink!
Legolas: I do not stink!
Joey: Niether do I! Wait. *sniffs under arms, turns green, faints*
Yami: When did he regain consienceness?
Frodo: Who cares? He lost it again.
Yugi: I care, but I don't care about you!
Frodo: *sob * Nobody cares.
Merry: No shit.
Airenidale: Excuse me, but I going to take a bath. *walks off towards Nimrodel *
Legolas: *Slowly creeps after Airenidale *
Haldir: And just where do you think you are going, Legolas? ¬.¬
Legolas: Uh, Nowhere?
Fifteen minutes later.
Legolas: Umm, it's been a long time since Airenidale left, I think I should check on her.*starts to leave *
Mai: Oh no you don't! *Grabs Legolas's shoulder *
Legolas: *pouty face * *smiles fiendishly * *eavesdrops *
Airenidale: *singing * Oh, Mickey what a pity you don't understand, you take me by the heart when you take me by the hand. Oh, Mickey you're so fine, but can't you understand, it's guys like you Mickey.
Legolas: *Horror face and stands up * NO! She sings of another!
All but Legolas and Airenidale: *Stare blankly *
Five minutes later.
Airenidale: *comes back humming the Mickey song *
Mai: *Hears humming * Oh, *points at Legolas * Haha!
Authoress: My turn! *runs off*
Five hours later.
Authoress: *comes back * *looks like a prune * (literlary)
All but Authoress: *Gasps *
Tea: *high pithched scream *
Mai: Umm, you look like a prune. That is like a total fashion no-no!
Authoress: Just kidding! *snaps fingers and returns to normal *
Joey: Comon' everybody! Let's ditch this popsical stand!
Mai: Not until you have a bath!! *Grabs him by the ear *
Joey: Who died an' made ya my mother?
Authoress: I did!
Joey: Whaa?
Authoress: Watch! *pulls tape out of nowhere *
VCR: *appears *
Authoress: *plays tape *
The VCR shows the Authoress being slautered by a monster from a 70's movie.
Joey: Dat doesn't prove a thing!
Authoress: Your right I was just playing with Hollywood! Mwahaha! All Hollywood is at my command! *evil grin *
Airenidale: Come on! Let's Move!
Mai: NOT UNTIL WE ARE CLEAN!!!
Airenidale: But, but, but.
Authoress to Airenidale: May I?
Airenidale: Please!
Authoress: *snaps fingers and a buckets of water pour onto everyone who has not had a bath *
Joey: *singing * I'm singin' in da rain! Oh I'm singin' in da rain!
Elves: Don't you EVER do that to us AGAIN!
Authoress: And how are you gonna stop me?
Airenidale: Okay, we're clean, let's go!
Ten minutes later.
*Malik and a girl with black hair, tanned skin, and purple eyes fall through the Time Space Contium tear *
All: *Scream in surprise *
Airenidale: *Helps them up *
Girl: Thank you. My name's Keya. This is Malik. He's my boyfriend^-^ Uh, how did we get here? And whats with the funky ears?
Yami: *hides behind Authoress *
Airenidale: You fell through the tear in the Time Space Continum Tear. My name is Airenidale, I'm an elf thus, I have pointy ears. This is Legolas, Aragorn *continues to name the Fellowship * and last but not least, Yami.
Malik: YAMI?! YOU KILLED MY FATHER AND NOW I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! *grasps Yami's throught *
Yami: I didn't do it I swear!
Malik: LIAR!
Yugi: Yami would never do a thing like that! *looks suspiciously at Yami * Would you?
Airenidale and Legolas: *attempt to pry Malik's death grip off Yami *
Airenidale, Legolas, Malik, Yami: *fall over *
Legolas: Hey, you look like Airenidale.
Malik: *unclamps death grip and stands up *
Airenidale and Malik: *look at each other *
Airenidale: Hey, your right! We have the same eyes and hair, except mine are prettier ^-^
Authoress: No duh! You're cousins one universe removed!
Malik: Really? Wow! *hugs Airenidale *
Dark: Oh how beautiful, a family reunion. It's not like we are getting any younger, so please move on!
Elves: Speak for yourself!
Joey: What do you mean?
Elves: We're elves! We live forever! Duh!
Malik: *gasp * Dark Magician, you can talk?!
Authoress: *tells Malik and Keya the whole story * We are never going to make it to Lothlorien at this rate! *snaps fingers and a plothole appears *
All: *fall through hole *
In Lothlorien.
Happipurple: WHHEEEEEEE! That was fun! Can we do it again?
Yugi: No. *runs into forest and regurgitates what small morsles of food he ate for breakfast this morning.
Gimli: Eewww, Yugi barfed!
Mai: That is so childish.
Tea: Poor Yugi.
Nia: Damn it, I lost her to the runt!
Malik: Oh, Keya, it's so beautiful^-^! *glances around * Keya? Uh, guys, where's Keya?
Authoress: She didn't make it through the plot hole.
Malik: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *turns around to jump through the plot hole *
Plot hole: *closes *
Malik: Keeeyaaa! Noooooooooooooo! We have to save her! She's all I've got!
Airenidale: You still have me.
Malik: *sob * It's not the same.
Frodo: At least you have your cousin! I have no one! No one cares about ME.
Frodo Fangirl (FF)and a disease that is curantly residing in my house(D): I care about this little hobbit! *hugs Frodo *
Frodo: YAY! Somebody loves ME!
Authoress: Not for long pathetic mortal *snaps fingers and FF and D disappear *
Happipurple: That's Yami-Bakura's line!
Authoress: I'm trying to improvise!
Frodo: NOOOOOOO! Now no one loves ME!
Authoress: So sad. Oh well, it's not like anyone cares. :D
Mai: Why do you always stress the word ME?
Frodo: *crosses arms, inoccent look, raises eyebrows * Because ME am the most important person around here, I mean I do have the ring.
Mai: Sheesh, not even Joey is that self-absobed.
Malik: Oh lookie lookie! Tree houses! ^-^
Joey: Glad to see you're done cryin'.
Malik: Crying isn't the manly thing to do, especially in front of the women. I only cry in front of Keya. She's my girlfriend^-^!
Dark: We've already astablished that.
Asseria: If you people are done talking, I think we really need to get going. The Lady is waiting after all. *impatient look *
Yami: One moment please, we need more embassadors! I summon the Celtic Gaurdian!
Celtic Gaurdian: (CG)*appears * *in jock voice *Woow, dude, I can talk! Sweet man!
Dark: *rolls eyes *
Malik: And up the stairs we go^-^
Joey: One, two, three, four.
Ten minutes later.
Joey: 1001, 1002, 1003, 1004.
Three hours later.
Joey: 8956242, 8956243, 8956244, 8956245
Authoress: Umm, Joey? You are walking on an escalator.
Joey: What! No, not again! Wait hey, no I'm not! You can't get rid of me that easily! *throughs head back and laughs and falls down stairs * NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All: *hear loud banging noise and lots of swearing *
Joey: I lost my count! NOOOOOOOOOO!
Mai: I think you should focus on, maybe, getting back up here!
Galadriel: Um, are you going to listen to me now? *tumble weed rolls across the scene *
Asseria: Bye^-^ *flies away *
Airenidale: What's the buzz fourth cuz?
Galadriel: Right. *confused look *
Yugi: *Gasp * The Mystical Elf has come to life!
Legolas: What's the Mystical Elf?
Yami: She is the most beautiful of all Duel Monsters!
Airenidale: WHAT! What am I? Chopped liver? I am so much more good looking than her! *very angery * Bring this Elf lady out here and then we'll see who's prettier!
Yami: Um, okay. I summon the Mystical Elf!
Mystical Elf (ME): *appears *
CG: *in jock voice * Wow Dude! Hot babe at twelve o'clock!
Airenidale: I look a lot more like that Mystical Elf thing than Galadriel!
Galadriel: Nuh uh!
Airenidale: Ya huh!
Galadriel: Nuh uh!
Airenidale: Ya huh!
Aragorn: Ladies, ladies, please that's enough!
Airenidale: Who are YOU to give orders to elf sorceresses and queens?!
Aragorn: Uh, could you just keep it down a little bit, pretty please with sugar on top? *suck-up smile *
Galadriel: Very well then. *continues argument telepathicly *
Tristan: ACK! Their eyes are bulging!
Authoress: Well, no duh!
CG: Hey babe, wanna hang out?
ME: Sure! *valley girl accent * Like, totally! *runs off into the woods with CG *
Yami: I better call them back now.
Joey: Yea, ya don't want little elf babies crawling around!
Legolas: Oh, let them have their fun.
Joey: Keep you sexual fantasies of Airenidale to yourself.
Happipurple: Oh dear god.
Authoress: *barely stops Andra from getting in the fanfiction *
Legolas: I do not have sexual fantasies about Airenidale!
Joey: Oh, so you fantasize about someone else. *mental evil smile *
Airenidale: *breaks away from telepathic argument * WHAT!? HOW DARE YOU!? *does freaky Galadriel ring demonic blue trick except she turns silver * I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT JUST POSSIBLY BE MY TRUE LOVE! THEN YOU TURN AROUND AND FALL IN LOVE WITH SOME OTHER WOMAN! WHAT? I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU, EH? *tears well in eyes and stalks off *
Dark: *muttering * great, she's Canadian.
Legolas: Wait, I can explain! It's not true!
Joey: *smirks * so what are you gonna say ta that?
Legolas: You shall pay dearly. *death glare and draggs Joey by the collar of his shirt behind random object *
Authoress: No permenent damage to the borrowed characters. I have to give them back yanno.
Legolas: Damnit!
Tea: I won't have any of that!
All: *hear elvish swearing amid muffeled yelps *
Galadriel: That was rude, wow, that was a definite insult, Legolas, don't insult his mother like that, may the Valar have mercy on your soul, what a filthy mouth!
Legolas to Joey: You can go now.
Joey: *crawls out * *covered with cuts and bruises * *moans *
Tea: Poor Joey.
Mai: That looks like it hurts.
Legolas: He damn well desirved it!
Celeborn: Uh, where's Gandalf? I wanna talk to him.
Pippin: My fangirls murdered him in Moria! :D
Celeborn: This is just awful!
Merry: I know, we miss him, too.
Celeborn: It's not that.
All: Huh?
Celeborn: Pippin has fangirls and I don't! *cries *
Anime characters: *sweat drop *
LOTR characters: *roll eyes *
Galadriel: You don't need fangirls, you have ME :D
Celeborn: You just don't get it.
Galadriel: Anyway. I can give you all fourtunes, I mean council, and you can stay here tonight if you want.
Two Hours Later.
All: *waiting for council *
Joey: How long is this gonna take? I have been standing here for hours!
Mai: No you haven't! It's only been 10 minutes!
Galadriel: *sends out telepatic summoning *
Airenidale: Wow! That was cool! The Lady wants me, bye yall! ^-^
Joey: What! LINE CUTTER!
Tristan: Save it Joey.
Legolas: *smiles and waves as Airenidale passes *
Airenidale: *sticks nose in the air and goes down another long set of stairs * *gets to bottom *
Legolas: *lower lip trembles *
Airenidale: ACK! Bright colors! *shields eyes * Galadriel, what's with the get-up?
Galadriel: *looks at gypsy clothes she is wearing * It's my Fortune outfit! Do you like it? :D
Airenidale: Sure, whatever you say.
Galadriel: Take a seat my friend. *motions to a chair around a crystal ball *
Kaiba fangirl Magix: Outta my way sister! *pushes Airenidale away and runs up to Galadriel * When's Seto coming! Tell me NOW!
Galadriel: Don't be so impatient! Wait a few more chapters! Okay? Now beat it!
Magix: *disappears *
Galadriel: Let's get this show on the road, shall we? What do you see in the orb?
Airenidale: *gazes into ball * Oh my, *gasp * wow.
Galadriel: What do you see?!
Airenidale: Haha fooled ya!
Galadriel: Huh?
Airenidale: Can't you read my mind? Ther's nothing here. Just a bunch of mist.
Galadriel: Cheap piece of shit! *picks up crystal ball and chucks it against wall *
Airenidale: So what do I do now?
Galadriel: Will you look into the mirror?
Airenidale: Sure.
Galadriel: *takes cord and plugs it into a socket that appeared on the wall * (how handy^-^)
Airenidale: Wait, is that thing going to electricute me?
Galadriel: No, I already tried it on the dwarf and nothing happened.
Airenidale: Hollywood is so fake.
Galadriel: I know the feeling.
Airenidale: *looks into water * *big smile * starts giggleing * *pulls away *
Galadriel: What did you see?
Airenidale: Non ya bees wax!
Galdriel: *attemps to read her mind *
Airenidale: Oh no you don't! *high pitched scream in mind *
Galadriel: Grr. Any way, you may go. Call the blond one when you leave.
Airenidale: Which one?
Galadriel: Legolas.
Airenidale: Oh, him. Fine.
Galadriel: Go easy on him. He has the hots for you yanno.
Airenidale: Gee, ya think. *walks upstairs * Legolas, the Lady wishes for your presence.
Legolas: Thank you! *big smile at Airenidale *
Airenidale: *ignores him * Hi Joey, what's up!
Legolas: *cries and runs down stairs *
Five Minutes Later.
Legolas: *comes back up *
Joey: What did she say to ya, Legs?
Legolas: She said that I am too defencive, and need to admit things to myself.
Mai: Hm, I wonder why. *rolls eyes *
Legolas: Yugi, she wants to talk to you.
Yugi: Thanks Legolas! *runs down steps *
Five Minutes Later.
Yugi: Comews back up * *pulls out tape measurer * Three more feet. *mutters *
Tea: Yay! Yugi's gonna be taller than me someday! :D *attemps to give Mai a big hug *
Mai: Watch it! *tries to evade *
Tea: *hugs Mai's hair *
Mai: *frustrated yell * You wrecked my hair! How DARE you!
Airenidale: Take a chill pill! You can take a bath tomorrow! Anyway, I'm going to bed. I'm so sleepy.
Legolas: *stands up *
Airenidale: Don't even think about following me Legolas Greenleaf!
Legolas: *whimpers *
Mai: Me, too!
Joey: Me, three!
Yugi: Me, four!
Yami: I don't sleep.
Authoress: You can stand guard.
Yami: Against what, evil trees. * raises eyebrow (I wish I could do that!) *
Authoress: Nooo, against evil spirits, duh!
Tea: Me, five!
Tristan: Me, six!
Frodo: ME, seven!
Happipurple: No one cares Frodo. Me, eight!
Dark: Me, nine!
Happipurple: Do you sleep? I didn't know that!
Dark: Hey! I AM human ya know. Well, sort of. I think. Maybe. Not. Never mind I guess I don't sleep.
Airenidale: How sad.
Happipurple: Aww. It okay! * glomps Dark *
Dark: Ack. * corners of mouth twitch (in the upward direction) *
Aragorn: Me, ten!
Gimli: Me, eleventeen!
All: *roll eyes *
Merry: Me, twelve!
Pippin: Me, fourteen, I mean, me, thirteen!
Malik: Me, fourtheen. Not YOU Pippin, ME!
Pippin: Well soooorry! P
Authoress: Well, I believe I shall go to bed as well.
Legolas: Goodnight everyone. *flattens grass next to him * You can sleep next to me if you want Airenidale.
Airenidale: I'd rather kiss a toilet seat!
Mai: Now, Airenidale, we both now that's not true.
Airenidale: Um, yes it is! *turns red and walks away *
Legolas: She's gonna kill me!
All: *confused looks *
Legolas: *rolls eyes *
Aragorn: It's okay. Elvish women are like that!
Legolas: Oh ya, you would know! * coughArwencough *
Aragorn: * turns red *
Legolas: *lies down (does NOT close eyes) *
Joey: I thought you were goin' ta sleep.?
Legolas: Elves sleep with their eyes open, foolish mortal.
Tristan: I thought that was Bakura's line.
Pippin: What's paper?
Merry: And what's tape?
Nightime.
Legolas: Airenidale. Airenidale, where for art thou Airenidale? Oh there you are! Oh, Airenidale.
Tea: *wakes up * Legolas and his Shakespear. Oh, well. I think I'll practice my dancing. * walks away *
Yugi: May I have this dance?
Tea: Yugi, you got so tall. and buff.
Yugi: *takes Tea in his arms *
Tea: Dancing in the moon and star light with Yugi. *sigh * this is so romantic.
Yugi: Tea *gets down on one knee and pulls out a ring-box* there is something I must tell you and then ask you something, Tea Gardener, I lo- *gets cut off *
BLOODY SCENE, CHILDREN COVER YOUR EYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lady Chaos: *jumps out of bushes * *stabbs Tea repeatedly *
- Blood is flying everywhere and covering everything, including Yugi Tea & Lady Chaos. Agonized Tea screames are heard as organs decide to fly away in all directions. - END GORE SCENE
Lady Chaos: * cackles evilly * No more friendship speeches! :D * dissapears into the shadows *
Tea: * wakes up ( for real this time ) screaming * *checks body for holes * *sigh of relief *
Yugi: * wakes up because of Tea's hysterical outburst *
Tea: * runs to Yugi * I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I DO!
Yugi: What are you talking about?
Tea: Weren't you going to say - dammit! I bet it was a dream!
Yugi: I'm not going to ask.
Lady Chaos: * jumps from shadows with a knife in her hand * DIE TEA!
Yugi: No! * stands in front of Tea *
Lady Chaos: Dammit! * dissapears *
Tea: Yugi! You saved me!
Yugi: I had to.
Tea: * beams *
Yugi: If I had let you die, that person over there would hurt me very very badly. * points to Authoress *
Tea: * confused look * You mean you didn't do it just to save a friend, and out of the goodness of you kind heart?
Yugi: *snores * (he's asleep incase you didn't know)
Tea: Aww. how cute.
Malik: (to himself) Of course she would never stop to consider WHY he fell asleep.
Sorry it took so long to update, but you know, school and stuff. Next chapter, Galadriel gives gifts! Read & review!
Authoress: My turn, Most of this story is Airenidale's but I helped quite a bit as well. This story is xtraxtra long for the long wait. Also, the story now must be PG-13 because of some language and gore. Also, Asseria is the character of my Authoress friend, RoseannRiddle.
Disclaimer: I do not own YGO or LOTR I own: Happipurple & Authoress My friend owns: Airenidale RoseannRiddle owns: Asseria The Guest stars own themselves.
*Magical ropes fall off Airenidale *
Airenidale: Yipee! I'm free^-^
Authoress: Cheap piece of shit! They don't make it like they used to!
Anonymous elf: My name is Nia.
Tea: But, but, but, that's a girls name!
Nia: Yea, what did you think I was?
Tristan: You changed?
Mrs. Kaczmarczak (kaz-mar-zack): * monotone expression and voice* You need to keep your tenses strait or else you will cause confusion.
Authoress: OOH MY GOD!!!!! NOT MRS. MONOTONE!!! AHHHHH* continues for 2 pages* *waves arms franticly and purple gorillas, evil raccoons, carrot bags, the wise and mighty duck-billed platypus, and the three foot tall purple salamander that tap dances and sings appears and disappears randomly (these are inside jokes by the way)*
The Wise and Mighty Duck-Billed Platypus (TWAMDBP): *waddles up to Joey * Erpp.
Airenidale: *gasp * The Wise and Mighty Duck-Billed Platypus!
Joey: This thing is retarded.
Airenidale: How dare you! Show respect to your surpior!
TWAMDBP: Erp^_^ *rubs against Joey's leg *
Tea: Aww, the Psyduck looking thingythigy (a wonderful new word thanks to typos) likes Joey.
Dark: *sweat drop * Uh, you play Pokémon?
Tea: Uh, no? *hids gameboy behind back *
Shadowy voice (you'll find out in a later chapter): Tea must die.
Tea: Umm, eep? Joey: Yanno what, this purple duck thing is kinda cute. *scratches chin *
TWAMDBP: Erp.? *disappears *
Joey: Aww!
The Three Foot Tall Purple Salamander (TTFTPS): *British accent * Would you care for a drink of water?
Happipurple: DON'T DRINK THE WATER OR ELSE YOU'LL TURN INTO A THREE FOOT TALL PURPLE SALAMANDER THAT TAP-DANCES AND SINGS " I'm better than you 'caz I'm a three foot tall purple salamander that tap dances and * pauses then hits a reeeeeeally high note * SINGS"
TTFTPS: *snaps fingers * damn. *disappears *
Happipurple: Oh no! She's gone insane! We have to do something!
Yami: So have you.
Faerie Thingy: *appears *
Joey: Hey Yug, look! It's one of those game pixies!
Faerie Thingy: I'm Asseria^-^ I'm Galadriel's lil' helper lady person^-^
Tristan: You're a person O.o?
Asseria: No duh!!!! *pokes Tristan in the eye *
Haldir: Asseria! Make that horrible monotonous troll disappear!!!!!
Asseria: *stubbornly * you didn't say the magic word.
All but Authoress and Mrs. Kaczmarczak: PLEASE!!!!!!!!
Asseria: Bye-bye^-^ *snaps fingers *
Mrs. Kaczmarczak: *disappears*
All: Thank God!
Tea: *oblivious and whining* Why is there something wrong with everyone I like! (
Airenidale: Hey, are we continuing this plot line or not? Come on hustle! Let's move! Yo, Haldir, Ass, lead the way!
Asseria: Hey, that was offensive!
Airenidale: Oops, sorry.
Pippin: Seriously, what's paper?
Merry: And what's tape?
Six minutes later.
Airenidale: *randomly * And with a score of 6 and 2, fans vote Legolas has better hair than Mai!
All but Airenidale: *Stare blankly*
Airenidale: Uhh, random synapse?
Gimli: (The slow one) What's a sinapist?
Authoress: *Snaps fingers and pulls dictionary out of nowhere * A snyapse is the point where one nervous impulse passes from one neuron to another.
Gimli: I'm sorry I asked.
Time Space Continum: *tears * (remember this point) *Review comes out and only Airenidale can hear it *
Airenidale: WHAT!!!! Legolas's hair is NOT a wig!!!! I'll show you! *Jumps on Legolas's back and starts pulling at his hair *
Legolas: ACK! Somebody get her off me! Help!
Joey: Sorry Legs, but yer on yer own.
Airenidale: I told you it was real! *jumps off Legolas * *Hysterical laughter *
Tea: What the hell was that?
Yugi: When did you start swearing?
Joey: *Groan * Uhhhhhhggggggg. I can't go on like this! Must. stop. rest. *faints *
Mai: Wow, he made it longer than five minutes this time!
Legolas: *soft gasp * Is that the Nimrodel?
Airenidale: Yay! Legolas! Let's sing the song!
Legolas and Airenidale: *beaming * An Elven-maid there was of old
All: * hear monotonous singing *
Mai: Oh my god! Asseria, I thought you got rid of that nightmare!
Asseria: Hehe! Fooled ya^-^
Legolas: Anyway, shall we continue?
Airenidale: Okie dokie^-^
Haldir: I'm singing, too!
Elves: A shining star by day:
Aragorn: *snaps fingers to the beat *
Mai: What are you doing you idiot! Turtles go faster than that song! And you elves, SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!! I have got to teach you some new music!!! And another thing, we are stoping here because my hair is falling down! All of you, you need baths! Especially the boys!!!
Males: *suspiciously * Why?
Mai: Because you stink!
Legolas: I do not stink!
Joey: Niether do I! Wait. *sniffs under arms, turns green, faints*
Yami: When did he regain consienceness?
Frodo: Who cares? He lost it again.
Yugi: I care, but I don't care about you!
Frodo: *sob * Nobody cares.
Merry: No shit.
Airenidale: Excuse me, but I going to take a bath. *walks off towards Nimrodel *
Legolas: *Slowly creeps after Airenidale *
Haldir: And just where do you think you are going, Legolas? ¬.¬
Legolas: Uh, Nowhere?
Fifteen minutes later.
Legolas: Umm, it's been a long time since Airenidale left, I think I should check on her.*starts to leave *
Mai: Oh no you don't! *Grabs Legolas's shoulder *
Legolas: *pouty face * *smiles fiendishly * *eavesdrops *
Airenidale: *singing * Oh, Mickey what a pity you don't understand, you take me by the heart when you take me by the hand. Oh, Mickey you're so fine, but can't you understand, it's guys like you Mickey.
Legolas: *Horror face and stands up * NO! She sings of another!
All but Legolas and Airenidale: *Stare blankly *
Five minutes later.
Airenidale: *comes back humming the Mickey song *
Mai: *Hears humming * Oh, *points at Legolas * Haha!
Authoress: My turn! *runs off*
Five hours later.
Authoress: *comes back * *looks like a prune * (literlary)
All but Authoress: *Gasps *
Tea: *high pithched scream *
Mai: Umm, you look like a prune. That is like a total fashion no-no!
Authoress: Just kidding! *snaps fingers and returns to normal *
Joey: Comon' everybody! Let's ditch this popsical stand!
Mai: Not until you have a bath!! *Grabs him by the ear *
Joey: Who died an' made ya my mother?
Authoress: I did!
Joey: Whaa?
Authoress: Watch! *pulls tape out of nowhere *
VCR: *appears *
Authoress: *plays tape *
The VCR shows the Authoress being slautered by a monster from a 70's movie.
Joey: Dat doesn't prove a thing!
Authoress: Your right I was just playing with Hollywood! Mwahaha! All Hollywood is at my command! *evil grin *
Airenidale: Come on! Let's Move!
Mai: NOT UNTIL WE ARE CLEAN!!!
Airenidale: But, but, but.
Authoress to Airenidale: May I?
Airenidale: Please!
Authoress: *snaps fingers and a buckets of water pour onto everyone who has not had a bath *
Joey: *singing * I'm singin' in da rain! Oh I'm singin' in da rain!
Elves: Don't you EVER do that to us AGAIN!
Authoress: And how are you gonna stop me?
Airenidale: Okay, we're clean, let's go!
Ten minutes later.
*Malik and a girl with black hair, tanned skin, and purple eyes fall through the Time Space Contium tear *
All: *Scream in surprise *
Airenidale: *Helps them up *
Girl: Thank you. My name's Keya. This is Malik. He's my boyfriend^-^ Uh, how did we get here? And whats with the funky ears?
Yami: *hides behind Authoress *
Airenidale: You fell through the tear in the Time Space Continum Tear. My name is Airenidale, I'm an elf thus, I have pointy ears. This is Legolas, Aragorn *continues to name the Fellowship * and last but not least, Yami.
Malik: YAMI?! YOU KILLED MY FATHER AND NOW I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! *grasps Yami's throught *
Yami: I didn't do it I swear!
Malik: LIAR!
Yugi: Yami would never do a thing like that! *looks suspiciously at Yami * Would you?
Airenidale and Legolas: *attempt to pry Malik's death grip off Yami *
Airenidale, Legolas, Malik, Yami: *fall over *
Legolas: Hey, you look like Airenidale.
Malik: *unclamps death grip and stands up *
Airenidale and Malik: *look at each other *
Airenidale: Hey, your right! We have the same eyes and hair, except mine are prettier ^-^
Authoress: No duh! You're cousins one universe removed!
Malik: Really? Wow! *hugs Airenidale *
Dark: Oh how beautiful, a family reunion. It's not like we are getting any younger, so please move on!
Elves: Speak for yourself!
Joey: What do you mean?
Elves: We're elves! We live forever! Duh!
Malik: *gasp * Dark Magician, you can talk?!
Authoress: *tells Malik and Keya the whole story * We are never going to make it to Lothlorien at this rate! *snaps fingers and a plothole appears *
All: *fall through hole *
In Lothlorien.
Happipurple: WHHEEEEEEE! That was fun! Can we do it again?
Yugi: No. *runs into forest and regurgitates what small morsles of food he ate for breakfast this morning.
Gimli: Eewww, Yugi barfed!
Mai: That is so childish.
Tea: Poor Yugi.
Nia: Damn it, I lost her to the runt!
Malik: Oh, Keya, it's so beautiful^-^! *glances around * Keya? Uh, guys, where's Keya?
Authoress: She didn't make it through the plot hole.
Malik: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *turns around to jump through the plot hole *
Plot hole: *closes *
Malik: Keeeyaaa! Noooooooooooooo! We have to save her! She's all I've got!
Airenidale: You still have me.
Malik: *sob * It's not the same.
Frodo: At least you have your cousin! I have no one! No one cares about ME.
Frodo Fangirl (FF)and a disease that is curantly residing in my house(D): I care about this little hobbit! *hugs Frodo *
Frodo: YAY! Somebody loves ME!
Authoress: Not for long pathetic mortal *snaps fingers and FF and D disappear *
Happipurple: That's Yami-Bakura's line!
Authoress: I'm trying to improvise!
Frodo: NOOOOOOO! Now no one loves ME!
Authoress: So sad. Oh well, it's not like anyone cares. :D
Mai: Why do you always stress the word ME?
Frodo: *crosses arms, inoccent look, raises eyebrows * Because ME am the most important person around here, I mean I do have the ring.
Mai: Sheesh, not even Joey is that self-absobed.
Malik: Oh lookie lookie! Tree houses! ^-^
Joey: Glad to see you're done cryin'.
Malik: Crying isn't the manly thing to do, especially in front of the women. I only cry in front of Keya. She's my girlfriend^-^!
Dark: We've already astablished that.
Asseria: If you people are done talking, I think we really need to get going. The Lady is waiting after all. *impatient look *
Yami: One moment please, we need more embassadors! I summon the Celtic Gaurdian!
Celtic Gaurdian: (CG)*appears * *in jock voice *Woow, dude, I can talk! Sweet man!
Dark: *rolls eyes *
Malik: And up the stairs we go^-^
Joey: One, two, three, four.
Ten minutes later.
Joey: 1001, 1002, 1003, 1004.
Three hours later.
Joey: 8956242, 8956243, 8956244, 8956245
Authoress: Umm, Joey? You are walking on an escalator.
Joey: What! No, not again! Wait hey, no I'm not! You can't get rid of me that easily! *throughs head back and laughs and falls down stairs * NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All: *hear loud banging noise and lots of swearing *
Joey: I lost my count! NOOOOOOOOOO!
Mai: I think you should focus on, maybe, getting back up here!
Galadriel: Um, are you going to listen to me now? *tumble weed rolls across the scene *
Asseria: Bye^-^ *flies away *
Airenidale: What's the buzz fourth cuz?
Galadriel: Right. *confused look *
Yugi: *Gasp * The Mystical Elf has come to life!
Legolas: What's the Mystical Elf?
Yami: She is the most beautiful of all Duel Monsters!
Airenidale: WHAT! What am I? Chopped liver? I am so much more good looking than her! *very angery * Bring this Elf lady out here and then we'll see who's prettier!
Yami: Um, okay. I summon the Mystical Elf!
Mystical Elf (ME): *appears *
CG: *in jock voice * Wow Dude! Hot babe at twelve o'clock!
Airenidale: I look a lot more like that Mystical Elf thing than Galadriel!
Galadriel: Nuh uh!
Airenidale: Ya huh!
Galadriel: Nuh uh!
Airenidale: Ya huh!
Aragorn: Ladies, ladies, please that's enough!
Airenidale: Who are YOU to give orders to elf sorceresses and queens?!
Aragorn: Uh, could you just keep it down a little bit, pretty please with sugar on top? *suck-up smile *
Galadriel: Very well then. *continues argument telepathicly *
Tristan: ACK! Their eyes are bulging!
Authoress: Well, no duh!
CG: Hey babe, wanna hang out?
ME: Sure! *valley girl accent * Like, totally! *runs off into the woods with CG *
Yami: I better call them back now.
Joey: Yea, ya don't want little elf babies crawling around!
Legolas: Oh, let them have their fun.
Joey: Keep you sexual fantasies of Airenidale to yourself.
Happipurple: Oh dear god.
Authoress: *barely stops Andra from getting in the fanfiction *
Legolas: I do not have sexual fantasies about Airenidale!
Joey: Oh, so you fantasize about someone else. *mental evil smile *
Airenidale: *breaks away from telepathic argument * WHAT!? HOW DARE YOU!? *does freaky Galadriel ring demonic blue trick except she turns silver * I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT JUST POSSIBLY BE MY TRUE LOVE! THEN YOU TURN AROUND AND FALL IN LOVE WITH SOME OTHER WOMAN! WHAT? I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU, EH? *tears well in eyes and stalks off *
Dark: *muttering * great, she's Canadian.
Legolas: Wait, I can explain! It's not true!
Joey: *smirks * so what are you gonna say ta that?
Legolas: You shall pay dearly. *death glare and draggs Joey by the collar of his shirt behind random object *
Authoress: No permenent damage to the borrowed characters. I have to give them back yanno.
Legolas: Damnit!
Tea: I won't have any of that!
All: *hear elvish swearing amid muffeled yelps *
Galadriel: That was rude, wow, that was a definite insult, Legolas, don't insult his mother like that, may the Valar have mercy on your soul, what a filthy mouth!
Legolas to Joey: You can go now.
Joey: *crawls out * *covered with cuts and bruises * *moans *
Tea: Poor Joey.
Mai: That looks like it hurts.
Legolas: He damn well desirved it!
Celeborn: Uh, where's Gandalf? I wanna talk to him.
Pippin: My fangirls murdered him in Moria! :D
Celeborn: This is just awful!
Merry: I know, we miss him, too.
Celeborn: It's not that.
All: Huh?
Celeborn: Pippin has fangirls and I don't! *cries *
Anime characters: *sweat drop *
LOTR characters: *roll eyes *
Galadriel: You don't need fangirls, you have ME :D
Celeborn: You just don't get it.
Galadriel: Anyway. I can give you all fourtunes, I mean council, and you can stay here tonight if you want.
Two Hours Later.
All: *waiting for council *
Joey: How long is this gonna take? I have been standing here for hours!
Mai: No you haven't! It's only been 10 minutes!
Galadriel: *sends out telepatic summoning *
Airenidale: Wow! That was cool! The Lady wants me, bye yall! ^-^
Joey: What! LINE CUTTER!
Tristan: Save it Joey.
Legolas: *smiles and waves as Airenidale passes *
Airenidale: *sticks nose in the air and goes down another long set of stairs * *gets to bottom *
Legolas: *lower lip trembles *
Airenidale: ACK! Bright colors! *shields eyes * Galadriel, what's with the get-up?
Galadriel: *looks at gypsy clothes she is wearing * It's my Fortune outfit! Do you like it? :D
Airenidale: Sure, whatever you say.
Galadriel: Take a seat my friend. *motions to a chair around a crystal ball *
Kaiba fangirl Magix: Outta my way sister! *pushes Airenidale away and runs up to Galadriel * When's Seto coming! Tell me NOW!
Galadriel: Don't be so impatient! Wait a few more chapters! Okay? Now beat it!
Magix: *disappears *
Galadriel: Let's get this show on the road, shall we? What do you see in the orb?
Airenidale: *gazes into ball * Oh my, *gasp * wow.
Galadriel: What do you see?!
Airenidale: Haha fooled ya!
Galadriel: Huh?
Airenidale: Can't you read my mind? Ther's nothing here. Just a bunch of mist.
Galadriel: Cheap piece of shit! *picks up crystal ball and chucks it against wall *
Airenidale: So what do I do now?
Galadriel: Will you look into the mirror?
Airenidale: Sure.
Galadriel: *takes cord and plugs it into a socket that appeared on the wall * (how handy^-^)
Airenidale: Wait, is that thing going to electricute me?
Galadriel: No, I already tried it on the dwarf and nothing happened.
Airenidale: Hollywood is so fake.
Galadriel: I know the feeling.
Airenidale: *looks into water * *big smile * starts giggleing * *pulls away *
Galadriel: What did you see?
Airenidale: Non ya bees wax!
Galdriel: *attemps to read her mind *
Airenidale: Oh no you don't! *high pitched scream in mind *
Galadriel: Grr. Any way, you may go. Call the blond one when you leave.
Airenidale: Which one?
Galadriel: Legolas.
Airenidale: Oh, him. Fine.
Galadriel: Go easy on him. He has the hots for you yanno.
Airenidale: Gee, ya think. *walks upstairs * Legolas, the Lady wishes for your presence.
Legolas: Thank you! *big smile at Airenidale *
Airenidale: *ignores him * Hi Joey, what's up!
Legolas: *cries and runs down stairs *
Five Minutes Later.
Legolas: *comes back up *
Joey: What did she say to ya, Legs?
Legolas: She said that I am too defencive, and need to admit things to myself.
Mai: Hm, I wonder why. *rolls eyes *
Legolas: Yugi, she wants to talk to you.
Yugi: Thanks Legolas! *runs down steps *
Five Minutes Later.
Yugi: Comews back up * *pulls out tape measurer * Three more feet. *mutters *
Tea: Yay! Yugi's gonna be taller than me someday! :D *attemps to give Mai a big hug *
Mai: Watch it! *tries to evade *
Tea: *hugs Mai's hair *
Mai: *frustrated yell * You wrecked my hair! How DARE you!
Airenidale: Take a chill pill! You can take a bath tomorrow! Anyway, I'm going to bed. I'm so sleepy.
Legolas: *stands up *
Airenidale: Don't even think about following me Legolas Greenleaf!
Legolas: *whimpers *
Mai: Me, too!
Joey: Me, three!
Yugi: Me, four!
Yami: I don't sleep.
Authoress: You can stand guard.
Yami: Against what, evil trees. * raises eyebrow (I wish I could do that!) *
Authoress: Nooo, against evil spirits, duh!
Tea: Me, five!
Tristan: Me, six!
Frodo: ME, seven!
Happipurple: No one cares Frodo. Me, eight!
Dark: Me, nine!
Happipurple: Do you sleep? I didn't know that!
Dark: Hey! I AM human ya know. Well, sort of. I think. Maybe. Not. Never mind I guess I don't sleep.
Airenidale: How sad.
Happipurple: Aww. It okay! * glomps Dark *
Dark: Ack. * corners of mouth twitch (in the upward direction) *
Aragorn: Me, ten!
Gimli: Me, eleventeen!
All: *roll eyes *
Merry: Me, twelve!
Pippin: Me, fourteen, I mean, me, thirteen!
Malik: Me, fourtheen. Not YOU Pippin, ME!
Pippin: Well soooorry! P
Authoress: Well, I believe I shall go to bed as well.
Legolas: Goodnight everyone. *flattens grass next to him * You can sleep next to me if you want Airenidale.
Airenidale: I'd rather kiss a toilet seat!
Mai: Now, Airenidale, we both now that's not true.
Airenidale: Um, yes it is! *turns red and walks away *
Legolas: She's gonna kill me!
All: *confused looks *
Legolas: *rolls eyes *
Aragorn: It's okay. Elvish women are like that!
Legolas: Oh ya, you would know! * coughArwencough *
Aragorn: * turns red *
Legolas: *lies down (does NOT close eyes) *
Joey: I thought you were goin' ta sleep.?
Legolas: Elves sleep with their eyes open, foolish mortal.
Tristan: I thought that was Bakura's line.
Pippin: What's paper?
Merry: And what's tape?
Nightime.
Legolas: Airenidale. Airenidale, where for art thou Airenidale? Oh there you are! Oh, Airenidale.
Tea: *wakes up * Legolas and his Shakespear. Oh, well. I think I'll practice my dancing. * walks away *
Yugi: May I have this dance?
Tea: Yugi, you got so tall. and buff.
Yugi: *takes Tea in his arms *
Tea: Dancing in the moon and star light with Yugi. *sigh * this is so romantic.
Yugi: Tea *gets down on one knee and pulls out a ring-box* there is something I must tell you and then ask you something, Tea Gardener, I lo- *gets cut off *
BLOODY SCENE, CHILDREN COVER YOUR EYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lady Chaos: *jumps out of bushes * *stabbs Tea repeatedly *
- Blood is flying everywhere and covering everything, including Yugi Tea & Lady Chaos. Agonized Tea screames are heard as organs decide to fly away in all directions. - END GORE SCENE
Lady Chaos: * cackles evilly * No more friendship speeches! :D * dissapears into the shadows *
Tea: * wakes up ( for real this time ) screaming * *checks body for holes * *sigh of relief *
Yugi: * wakes up because of Tea's hysterical outburst *
Tea: * runs to Yugi * I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I DO!
Yugi: What are you talking about?
Tea: Weren't you going to say - dammit! I bet it was a dream!
Yugi: I'm not going to ask.
Lady Chaos: * jumps from shadows with a knife in her hand * DIE TEA!
Yugi: No! * stands in front of Tea *
Lady Chaos: Dammit! * dissapears *
Tea: Yugi! You saved me!
Yugi: I had to.
Tea: * beams *
Yugi: If I had let you die, that person over there would hurt me very very badly. * points to Authoress *
Tea: * confused look * You mean you didn't do it just to save a friend, and out of the goodness of you kind heart?
Yugi: *snores * (he's asleep incase you didn't know)
Tea: Aww. how cute.
Malik: (to himself) Of course she would never stop to consider WHY he fell asleep.
Sorry it took so long to update, but you know, school and stuff. Next chapter, Galadriel gives gifts! Read & review!