A/N: blaghablaahaarrgh! That's not a real word but I feel like that right now. Im feelin sick and just layin here watchin survivor…the drama is just too much!! They just got rid of jenna…thank god!! Go amber and rob! I love you!! Hehe, im a nerd…ok yeah..story, right…

I did this in a lil songfic-y way…I hope that's ok, it seemed right, thanks dashboard

WARNING: same same….

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Later that night when Jason and Mary had both calmed down, they were all sprawled around the small apartment.

Mary scanned the room from atop the TV cabinet where she was sitting, a half-empty bottle of cheap liquor in her hand. Jay was sitting on the dirty green couch, staring off into the distance. Ty was lying on the stained dirty mattress on the floor in the corner rolling a bottle cap along the ridges in the floor.

All day Mary had been thinking about the girl in the alley. All the things she had said were just whirling through her mind. She broke the eerie silence of the dank room, "have you guys ever wanted to get out?"

Jason was broken out of his trance, "what?" he said looking around

"I said, have you ever wanted out?"

Ty rolled over and sat up, "out of where?"

Mary sat up straighter, "out of all this, I mean, look around you. Don't you want something better?"

They both laughed, "What are you talking about? This is the life!" Jason said leaning back and settling into the grimy cushion.

"You actually enjoy selling almost everything you own for drugs? Being more worried about when you'll get your next fix than you are about your next meal?" Mary asked them, he voice growing louder.

"Mary, this is the only life I've ever known," Ty confessed, "I don't know any other way."

"Well I do. I used to be something, I was going somewhere" Mary couldn't believe the things that were coming out of her mouth, but she had been thinking them for almost two years. On the plane ride to Buffalo she had been thinking the things she was saying now.

Jared stood up and looked straight at her, "it's a little late now isn't it Mary? Were not going anywhere, we cant be anybody." He picked up a syringe that most likely had had heroin in it off of the floor and threw it at her, "this is who we are now."

Mary Camden was never the kind of girl who let people tell her who she was, or what she could and could not do. Years of built up rage surged through her veins and she took the bottle in her hand and threw it as hard as she could at him. It sailed towards his head, and zoomed over his right shoulder and shattered against the wall, Sending pieces of glass and booze in all directions.

This is where I say I've had enough

Jared came at her and she jumped down and ran for the bathroom, bending down to pick a large piece of glass off of the floor. She opened the bathroom door and turned around to face him. She held out the jagged glass, "don't you dare touch me!" she screamed as she slammed the splintered door.

Her knees shook as she slid down the wall to the floor. She dropped the glass and pulled her knees into her chest and just rocked there. For the first time it had finally hit her that this was her life now.

No one should ever feel the way that I feel now

She had gone from being the perfect preacher's daughter basketball star, to a crack-whore.

And now there was no way out.

She sat for a long time with her head against the wall and her eyes closed. No way out, this is who she had to be now.

Or was it?

She saw the piece of jagged green glass on the floor next to her; a cockroach crawled over it and up the wall. It was shining in the dim light of the bathroom. Begging her to pick it up, this little piece of glass was her way out.

Her hands shook as she picked it up; she turned it around in her hands. The sharp edge caught her finger and she drew in her breath sharply. She dropped the glass and held up her hand. A single drop of crimson ran down her palm. She felt like a piece of her unhappiness ran down with it.

A walking open wound

She didn't want to be unhappy anymore.

She shakily pushed up her sleeves and examined the bruises that covered her wrists. With her fingers she traced the blue highways that traveled down her skin.

A trophy display of bruises

This wasn't fair, her family had done this to her. They sent her away because she was bad . . .she had to get them back. They had to pay for the things they had done to her.

And I don't believe that I'm getting any better

She took a deep breath and furiously scooped up her weapon. She placed the sharp corner at the top of her wrists and closed her eyes. She held her breath as she dug the edge into her flesh.

She had expected it to hurt so much more. It had been a long time since Mary had felt anything, for all she knew it was the most painful thing she had ever experienced.

Maybe everything hurt so much that she couldn't tell the difference.

She had cut along the lines in both of her arms, she held them out and watched the blood run in every direction and pool on the floor.

She started to get lightheaded

she smiled as she closed her eyes

and slipped into blackness . . .

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ahh i'm crying, becuz my story makes me sad. . . AND becuz Boston Rob proposed to Amber, and i'm a sucker for romance

review, I a'int done yet!