started and finished 2004.03.18
uploaded and edited 2004.05.08
- Prologue to a Boy's Story -
By Damascus Ochre
Meaningless echoes begin to take shape in my mind; the voice is so far away... "'Niichan! 'Niichan!"
My eyes open slowly. Where am I...? I gaze about blearily and see a vast mirror of white, never-ending, blinding nothingness.
The cry comes again, clearer, louder this time, familiar...so achingly familiar... "Oniichan!"
My heart stops. Could it be...? I whirl about to prove my ears deceive me.
The void has disappeared, and in its place is a fay's paradise of pale hues; emerald shimmers and rose-blush giggles, golden rays filtering through fragile sakura petals like spilling tears. There's a little clearing before me, glittering as faeries dust it silver-pale, and, in its center, she stands, smiling her too-innocent smile, violet eyes ignorant of too-old experiences and glimmering with a pure kind of content.
I long to whisper her forbidden name, taste is sweet upon my parched lips, smooth upon my frozen tongue. But I fear that if I do, she will again be but a simple memory, dry and tattered from reality's rebuked consent.
I need not worry, though, for her eyes tell me that she understands. She cups her hands to capture the floating glitter of faery butterflies, beckoning to me through a verdant rug littered with broken blossoms.
She smiles into my eyes, unfolding her hands carefully. "Look..."
Settled peacefully on her delicate palm is a moonlit phenice[1], its translucent tail feathers curling elegantly about its legs like patterns of unruly lace. Gently, gracefully, it glides on the faery's dust to perch on her finger, where it cocks its head knowingly to the side, wiser than its lonely years, and gazes, unblinking, at me with too-intelligent eyes of golden secrets. "He's beautiful..."
Amethyst orbs burn with joy. "Isn't he?" Her eyes soften with sorrow, sorrow that should have been bliss instead. "But he's been hurt--because he's different..."
I frown slightly and take a closer look. The little bird extends its wings as if to show me its eternal pain: scars mar its flesh where wings meet a frail body, feathers once pale snow now tainted a crimson slash of shadow, clipped at its fragile butterfly-wingtips. Tears begin to blur my vision when I realize why the phenice relies on faery's dust to fly. "His wings...they're broken..."
She nods sadly, locks of azure falling thick to hide her tears. "He's just like you...
"...Nagi-kun..."
I look up at her again, but she's already gone.
And I am alone in my beautiful prison once more.
phenice[1]: This is the Egyptian word for "phoenix." In Egyptian mythology (ideas of which are reminiscent of the Greek myths), it is the bird of exceptional beauty that, after five centuries, makes a pyre of spices, sings a sorrowful song, and lights the pyre to burn itself to be reborn into a new life from its own ashes. Therefore, it is "a symbol of birth and immortality, of hope after bad times, and of beauty." Seeing as it is compared to Nagi, I'll let you come to your own conclusions about the depths of this metaphor.
Wow, I've finally gotten my muses back! - happy because now I can write more depressing things! XD -
I really wanted to write "Ne, miteiru..." and "Kirei..." instead of "Look..." and "He's beautiful...", but, sadly, not many people would understand if I wrote the rest of the dialogue in Japanese (even if I could write it all in slang...X.x in Japanese I), and I know a lot more who get kinda annoyed by random phrases in different languages. I think the Japanese phrases sound better in this context though...- sigh - Other languages are so much prettier...
Anyway, this could be considered a het drabblefic dealing with Nagi's role as a part of Schwarz, as well as his somber relationship (or lack thereof) with Tot of Schreient. However, I think that what I am going to do is write a series, using this as a prologue (which inspired the title to this) in order to justify Nagi's change from heterosexuality to pan-/bisexuality (if not homosexuality), as well as to give credit to Takehito-san and Project Weiz for the heartbreaking relationship between him and Tot. So, if you don't support douseiai/yaoi/yuri, you don't have to complete this series; like I said, this can stand alone.
Well, ja for now, and, if you continue reading this series (which may not be continued for a while...--;;), I'll see you then!
- Kit -
A/N (05.08): Gah! I swear I liked this fic a lot better before. Now it doesn't seem as great. Ah, well. I haven't been able to write much lately... That, and I have an incentive to keep my name on ff.net, so I have to upload at least one entry...x.x;; I hope my other stuff gets better...