Title: Venomous

Author: Phinea Rogue

Rating: PG-13

I don't own anything, I'm just a poor student, don't sue me, they all belong to JKR . . .

Sorry, this took me a bit longer than usually, the reason for that is that I was panicking too much about my final exams and thesis and it left me quite depressed. So in that mood I wrote three versions for 5th chapter, but they were too . . . strange and not good enough, so here's the final version. Hope you'll enjoy it.

Chapter Five

A coarse hand brushed Severus's cheek lightly, driving away the darkness he had fallen into. It moved under his head, lifting it slightly as a burning liquid touched his lips. 'Drink,' someone ordered in a whisper. Severus couldn't place the taste into any potion he knew. Was it a poison or a healing potion? The opening of the bottle touched his lips more urgently, the liquid flowed again and Severus swallowed. In an instance, his eyes flew open and he coughed violently. Firewhisky. That bloody alcohol! He rolled onto his side, coughing, and heard him laugh – his father.

'Not much used to alcohol, are we?'

'I don't . . .' drink alcohol, Severus wanted to say, but more of the burning liquid was forced down his now sore throat. He swallowed, frowning at his father, as tears sprang to his eyes. He would have attacked him if he weren't feeling so horribly weak. Everything hurt him except his throat, which was now burning. Tarquinius patted his head.

'Here, drink more, don't be a sissy.'

'What do you . . . like in alcohol . . . why do you drink it?' deepened Severus's frown. He was sure that even Wolfsbane tasted better than this. He had seen Lupin drink it and he hadn't grimaced as much as when drinking Firewhiskey. But then he mightn't dare to . . .

'If I tell you, you'll start drinking too,' replied Tarquinius and Severus chuckled. He took another sip, more carefully, and began to feel his tensed muscles relax. Well, he had read somewhere about Cruciatus and Firewhiskey, but what was it? Whatever it had been, it was making him feel better despite the awful taste.

Strong arms embraced him and Severus cuddled closer to his father. He felt safe and protected there. It reminded him of the old times when his mother had been alive, he had been a small boy and dad used to carry him in his strong arms, lifting him high up into the air where he had laughed merrily. Another gulp of Firewhiskey went down his throat, and he let his head rest on his father's shoulder. The coarse, but gentle hand stroked his hair, and Severus closed his eyes in content. How long had it been since they last sat like this? He dropped the memory of Cruciatus from his mind; after all, his father had done it on Dark Lord's command. Why do you deceive yourself, Severus? his mind protested, but he shut out the unwanted voice. He himself had done dreadful things, how can he judge his father?

Tarquinius broke the silence. 'Tell me, is there any truth in Dark Lord's assumptions about your loyalties?'

Severus shifted a bit and looked into the steely grey eyes. 'Why do you ask?'

The grey eyes bore deep into the dark ones. 'Never fear, answer me truthfully.'

'I'm loyal to the Dark Lord.'

Tarquinius framed the pale face of his son in his hands. 'Tell me the truth, Severus,' he whispered.

'It is true, father.'

Seconds flew by as they studied each other. Severus couldn't determine what it was that flickered in his father's eyes. Sorrow? Disappointment? Distrust? He reached for the bottle, took a few generous gulps and grimaced.

'Whoa, slow down! You aren't used to that!' Tarquinius's hand roughly took hold of his wrist. Severus closed his eyes and moaned. 'Please, don't do this to me.' Don't look at me like that. How have I disappointed you? What have I done?

'What am I doing?'

Sending him an irritated look, Severus snatched the bottle and drank half of it. He felt the strong arms grip his shoulders, shaking him madly. 'Have you gone mad?' yelled Tarquinius and Severus laughed into his face.

'Why?' he hissed menacingly, his voice becoming soft and dangerously quiet, 'You can and I can't?'

'It's not good drinking so much after Cruciatus!' exclaimed Snape senior angrily.

'Oh, so it isn't, is it?' asked Severus silkily, 'And WHO cast it on me? WHO?'

He stood up, feeling light-headed suddenly; the room was spinning around. Supporting himself at the wall, he turned to his father and said coldly, 'I'm going back to Hogwarts. Don't wait for me. If you seen money, it's in the cupboard.'

Tarquinius didn't try to stop him.

§§

Why was everything spinning? Damn the Firewhiskey and his father! Maybe he should have had more, drink himself into oblivion and forget everything. A slight breeze brushed past him and Severus leaned into the wall, supporting himself on his feet. Great, he was going to meet the headmaster and he was drunk! The breeze was no one else than Peeves who surveyed him, but said nothing and left. Next to the Bloody Baron it was Snape who could exercise some power over the poltergeist and make him do his will. Severus shut his eyes tight, fighting the dizziness that threatened to overcome him. To hell with his father! But how good it had felt to be in his embrace, as if nothing bad had ever happened between them. Soft footfalls echoed in the corridor, coming nearer and nearer. One of the portraits must have reported him to the headmaster.

'Go away!' he called out, surprised at how weakly he sounded. Weak and hollow. Snape slumped down to the floor, hugging his knees tightly. Go away, Albus; I need to be alone. He realized he couldn't face the old man just now, although he didn't really understand why. It had been a sudden impulse to flee from his father and his so-called 'home'. Dumbledore lowered himself to the ground too, leaning his back against the hard stone. 'Harry saw what happened,' he said softly.

'Please, leave me alone,' whispered Snape, horrified at the fact that his eyes began to burn. He desperately wished to be left alone, in the safety of his dungeons, hidden from the world outside. But Dumbledore's arm came around his shoulder, offering comfort, but this wasn't the comfort he desired. Snape pushed him away and rose to his feet.

'I told you to leave me alone, headmaster!' growled Snape, glaring daggers into the old wizard. He turned on his heels and hurried to his rooms, the black robes billowing behind him. Dumbledore followed, taking notice of how unsteady the Potion Master's steps were. When they arrived to the dungeons, Snape threw himself face down onto bed, refusing to look up. Dumbledore sat on the edge of the bed, hesitating for a moment, before he gently began to stroke the dark hair. Severus tensed.

'Talk to me, Severus, don't bury it inside, don't torment yourself,' spoke the older wizard softly. He had no intention of leaving the distraught teacher alone. Severus had an unfortunate habit of burying everything deep inside himself from where it surfaced to torture him again and again. The younger man turned his back to him.

'I know you're in pain, Severus. I wish I could help you, I truly wish that.'

The sincerity of headmaster's voice got through Severus's walls. He moved to sit up and turned to face him. The pain in the dark eyes startled Dumbledore, a deep emotional pain he had seen only once before in those eyes. It stabbed his heart cruelly, making him wish to kill Tarquinius as brutally he could.

'You love him,' he moaned, unbelieving that Severus would love someone like Tarquin. He had hope to give the younger wizard a replacement, but that was what it had been – merely a replacement, not a real father. He took a deep breath. 'Severus . . .'

'I know,' Severus interrupted him. 'I hate him and yet . . . I can't help myself. He's my father, headmaster, and it's killing me. Sometimes . . . sometimes I think he may like me, but then . . .'

Albus sighed. Severus's face was unnaturally pale and his eyes were glittering; yet he didn't allow himself the comfort of crying out his pain. 'I've failed him.'

Albus buried his face in his hands. I've failed him. I've failed him. Whatever he said to the younger man, Severus wouldn't take to his heart. No matter what happened, Severus would never go against his father. How many times must he tell him that he had done nothing to disappoint his father, nothing to earn his hatred as well as his brutal 'educational' methods? To his astonishment, a cold, slightly trembling hand, touched his shoulder tenderly. He raised his head and came eye to eye to Severus who looked as troubled as rarely before.

'Don't, Albus,' he whispered, surprising him once more when using his first name. Severus had always felt great respect to the headmaster, rarely calling him otherwise than 'sir', 'headmaster' or 'professor Dumbledore'. 'Don't trouble yourself with me, please. I know what you're thinking, don't do it. And . . .'

Something in Severus's dark eyes flickered for a moment, almost a twinkle or a little smile, trying to cheer up the older man. ' . . . you should be thinking about other, more important things. How is that spoiled brat of yours doing?'

Dumbledore smiled a little at Snape's attempt to steer the conversation away from his father. Tarquinius must have been horrid again if the Potions Master considered a conversation about Harry Potter more suitable than that about his father. 'Well, Severus, Harry seems fine, although that vision has shaken him a bit. But I'm afraid he's not fond of the idea of continuing the lessons with you.'

'Neither am I, you're aware of that.'

'But . . .'

A gesture from Severus silenced Dumbledore's objections. 'I know, I know,' sighed Snape, rolling his eyes, ' It is important. You're too busy to spend your precious time on Potter, and trust me, I assure you, I'm aware of that. Lupin's horrible at Occlumency; others have never studied it much. So it leaves me . . .'

Dumbledore took another breath, but Snape didn't allow him to speak. 'And I'll teach him.'

Headmaster's eyebrows flew upwards. 'Why? Why so suddenly? I thought it would take a longer time to persuade you.'

Severus shrugged. 'Just because.' Another shrug. 'I feel like it's time to give up.'

With those words, Severus curled up in his bed, turning away from the headmaster. Without seeing him, he knew he would like to question him, so he just said, 'Don't try it, I won't tell you anyway. And don't be too curious, curiosity killed the cat or how those Muggles say it. We don't want our leader to be killed by curiosity.' I hope it will make you happy, Albus. Thanks for taking trouble with me. I wonder how I deserved it.

Dumbledore watched Severus's back relax. The man had fallen asleep and now slept peacefully; no nightmares were troubling his dreams. Perhaps he dreamt nothing or he dreamt of light. Tenderly, Albus took off his shoes and placed a blanket over him. 'Sweet dreams, my dear,' he whispered, 'sleep tight. I will guard your sleep.'

§§

Well, this is, more or less, a transitional chapter, not much happening there. In the next chapter, Severus is going to Privet Drive to teach Harry Occlumency. How that will go, you'll see, hopefully soon. If the next chapter is long in coming, then I've broken my neck in my new shoes . . . Younger sisters are sent to us straight from hell! Without her I would never ever consider buying such neck-breaking shoes! LOL

Hugs and thanks to all my beautiful, wonderful, brilliant reviewers! I love you all (I'm sentimental today . . .).