Temptation
By gelfling
gelfling8604yahoo.com
LSD melts your mind, not in your hand.
Does this have to do with the dragon in your pants?
I'm going to be a lobster when I grow up.
Wars were a pain in the ass, Kakashi had always thought. So was getting kicked
in the neck and guts and, obviously, the buttocks too, but that was a different
kind of soup completely.
Get up Get up get up…
Imminent death became a real possibility for Kakashi as the sun was blocked by
a figure standing over him. The figure came closer, and pain speared blood red
through his wrist when he tried to raise his hand.
"You're…Naruto's teacher. You're early."
He didn't answer. He squinted, and through the gyroscopic red vision of the
Sharingan he was able to make out…the ending signatures of certain Sand spells
weaving translucent to his vision around the figure. He was struck hard across
the jaw; dispassionately though. "Ow. What was that for?" Blood was stuck and
dribbled throughout his mask, making it uncomfortable to breathe through.
Kakashi coughed up with a wet sound—only partly for show.
"For being a jerk, and because we're being watched. I could kill you."
"Naruto would pout." The figure was silent. Kakashi tested his wrist gently
before freezing as pain shot through him again. His sight dimmed for a
split-second for the second time in the last five minutes from sheer
exhaustion. This could get worse.
"Your people are coming."
Or this could get better.
"I should just kill you."
Or this could get worse.
"It would make things simpler…" Gaara's voice carried a hint of uncertainty for
the first time in a long history of certain pain for someone else.
Gaara's power had the possibility of looking as cool as telekinesis, the only
factor bringing it down was the fact that instead of a spooky ghost-like
invisibility effect there was the perfectly visible sand squishing or
pounding whatever shit had happened to catch his attention.
At this moment, Kakashi stared bemused at the whopping 10-foot unidentifiable
monster called from the Other Place being hammered against the ground by a
large tendril of sand after being summoned by...someone. Someone that Gaara
might've killed already, or not. Not that Kakashi was in any position to
complain.
From the speed and rhythm, the sand could keep pace all day without missing a
beat, the same constant indifferent strength probing the centers of the
monster's endurance and bone structure. Gaara would probably be too interested
in watching the guts splatter in different colors and textures to get bored.
Still on his back and propped on one elbow, Kakashi shot the kid a look and
decided he looked bored. He probably had done this millions of times before—the
novelty probably wore off after the first 300.
Smack shlack smack squink smack
The sand swallowed him whole after his world went dark.
Kakashi woke up underground because the screaming wasn't letting him sleep.
Screaming had that effect on most people, if only because it was loud. Kakashi
proved to be no exception.
"Get it out get it out get it out! It's in my ass you have to get
it out!! I can't see my eyes, what've you done with my eyes!!"
Instinct 1: Check both of your eyes. And…yep. Yep still had both of them
in his skull.
Kakashi got off the mat in the dank room he was in and padded into and down the
corridor to the mostly-shut door the screams were coming out of and briefly
wondered how badly he wanted to know what the hell was going on in there…it
probably wouldn't be pretty. But someone needed help. Hm…decisions.
An arm leaped out of the ground and yanked him down from the ceiling where he'd
jumped instinctively to at the sudden movement; fighting until he realized the
arm was made of dirty sand. It yanked him down the corridor steadily, with
little reaction to his primary struggle.
Thought 1: I'm in a place made of murderous sand.
Thought 2: I don't think I could win a fight with what I have now.
Thought 3: Someone is being tortured to death over there.
Thought 4: I might have to stay awake for this one.
And, as the sand dragged him steadily along the corridor with no sign of
slowing down or speeding up or even letting him stand up straight,
thought five hit, and Kakashi was a bit put-off that it had taken so long to
arrive to the station.
Thought 5: That little bastard took my mask.
When Kakashi entered the room and the sand let go, the dark figure standing
inside didn't even bother to turn around to look at him. Had no fear his back
would be attacked either—or he was simply stupid. Or he didn't care. Kakashi
repressed a sigh or irritation—yes, he was dealing with a possible enemy, but
he was dealing with a kid too. Kids could be real pains in the ass—much like
war.
"It's you."
"It's me. I'd be surprised if it were someone else instead. Forgive me if I
seem rude, but can I ask what the hell is going on? I notice I'm not dead."
"You're not dead yet. I saved your life."
"That's a very accurate observation and thanks—I think, but why exactly is
that?"
"You're thinking I plan to kill you now."
"No, not really," Kakashi replied even though it hadn't been a question. "You
could've done that then and I wouldn't be vertical now. I'm actually
thinking that you mean to torture and then kill me."
"It crossed my mind," Gaara finally turned around to look at him, "Several
times in fact. It's crossing now."
"You could, but Naruto would pout. He does that quite well."
"Unfortunately. But he wouldn't have to know."
"Well, that's true. But you would, and believe it or not, that will make a
difference."
"So you say."
"So what are you planning to do with me? For real?"
Gaara sighed and tossed something wet onto the bench behind him, turning to
face Kakashi with his arms crossed loosely.
"Well, I was going to take your Sharingan eye and pop it in a jar for my
father's studies if he got me my imported manga and then scalp your hair off
and staple it next to your hands and feet on my wall but…as you said. Naruto
would pout. So. What I am going to do is ask you some questions. I expect
to be answered honestly before escorting you back to Leaf depending on the
usefulness of your answers. Is that simple enough for you to understand?"
Kakashi blinked slowly, making a show of thinking things over. "You're an
obnoxious brat—Do you expect me to betray my village?"
"Would you?"
"Perhaps."
Gaara's eyes tinted darker with contempt, "These aren't those types of
questions—your village is of no interest to me. Yes or no."
"What?"
"Are you going to cooperate, yes or no?" annoyance was palpable in Gaara's
voice. What choice was there really?
"Sure. What kind of questions?"
"Why do you think you're here?"
Oh. Those types of questions.
"The right answer isn't because you brought me here, is it? Yeah, I didn't
think so. Oh…um…" Kakashi scratched his wrist as his visible eye wandered
around the room, noting that it was less a medical research office and more of
a…child's amateur surgery.
"I guess I'm here because my parents had sex and my mother didn't choose
abortion. I'm here to defend what's mind as I'm able to, to protect those I
care about and to do my job." There was a slight pause after the small speech.
"That's it?"
Kakashi flinched mockingly at the harshness in the other's tone, "How much were
you expecting? You weren't very specific."
"That's it?"
Kakashi slouched in response, and shoved his hands in his pockets. God, kids
were always so irritating. "That's pathetic…so the only reason you exist
is to defend?" There was considerable cold emphasis lathered on the word
'defend'.
"That's the main reason. The other is to learn, to live," he glanced at the
angry tattoo on the redhead's forehead. "That sort of thing. Just to be. That's
enough."
Gaara leaned back, eyes slicing through him like a scalpel. "That's very noble.
You obviously haven't thought very hard about it, meaning you're not taking
this seriously meaning you're not taking me seriously," Gaara paused
significantly, but his voice stayed blank, cool. "I really think you should.
You'll stay here until you do." The word 'indefinitely' was visibly hanging off
his lips.
Kakashi's eye glazed over with disinterest.
Irritating brat.
Huh. If he wanted philosophy he should go grab a damn book but…
Whatever. Fine.
"I answered honestly, but you didn't mention it had to be something you wanted
to hear," there was a dangerous, deliberate pause. "If you want, I can answer
that way too. I expect I can figure out what you want."
Gaara didn't rise to it, or blink. Hadn't blinked since he had looked at him,
it seemed. "That won't be necessary—I've already told you what I want. Simply
answer honestly and in full. You left a lot out."
Kakashi shifted.
"I'm here because I'm not afraid of you and you think I know something you
want, and you figure by threatening me you'll get it. I'm here because I
understand Naruto and that's something you need."
Kakashi paused, and after a time Gaara nodded. So far so good.
"I'm here because you think I have something to offer you, something that maybe
will give you the answers you couldn't get from spying on Naruto and Sasuke.
And I have to tell you, that right now," Kakashi took a long, much needed
breath, "I'd really rather be reading porn instead of talking to you."
Gaara shrugged. "I can get you my brother's. Provided you answer well. And you
will answer, pornography or no."
"How long to do you intend to have me here?"
Gaara shrugged carelessly again. "However long it takes. Time isn't important."
Or, it wasn't to Gaara. Kakashi kept his face carefully blank. He missed his
mask—he could control his face without it, but he still felt exposed without it
on. It wasn't a major problem, but it was another cause for irritation. Gaara
didn't wait. He probably also didn't care.
"Do you ever think you don't belong?"
There was an uncomfortable pause.
"…Sometimes. I doubt what I'm doing, my reasons for doing it…if it was really
necessary that I acted one way or the other—"
"Not that," Gaara interrupted sharply. "Not what you did, your existence. Do
you question that?"
He knew it was a soft spot—Kakashi didn't even try to be gentle. Hell, he'd
been interrupted when he'd actually tried…whatever. He was being stupid
too, so whatever.
"What if I don't? What if I've always felt that I belong exactly where I am,
that I've always had every right to be who and what I am no matter what?"
he tilted his head to one side disarmingly, "What do you want me to say then?"
Gaara actually hesitated. He hadn't estimated that the soft spot would be that
soft…well. That was interesting.
"Then tell me why. Honestly."
Kakashi evaluated him sharply, in the room that felt like old death and sour
madness.
"I've never thought I don't deserve to be alive. I know I make people nervous
sometimes, but I've never had the impulse to die, to disappear. It gets weird
sometimes…but this is more or less my world, my village beyond the wall. Life's
way too interesting to die. I do belong here—I know that."
That hadn't been what he'd been hoping to hear—someone who thought just a little
like he did, who could've at least told him what to do or tell him he wasn't as
alone as he thought he was…
Honesty. That was the important thing. Hanging on to reality was the important
thing. No illusions, no more madness—he needed this, and everything hurt
a little no more no matter what so it was just one more thing really…
And of course it made sense—the man was completely human, after
all. Completely, absolutely human. He wouldn't understand. Strange for Naruto
to be his student—to give his loyalty to him. Strange.
"What do you like about living?"
"Oh, that's easy…it's always interesting, and then there's the food and
air to breathe which is really nice, and the feel of taking naps in the sun
somewhere quiet," Gaara deliberately didn't react, "watching other people run
around like mad idiots or chickens or whatever…and of course there's always
girls and boobs and panties and wonderful little books to make a day
better."
"Girls?" Other humans. People could find contentment in other people…this was it!
"Oh sure, they make everything…softer," he said, smiling in his voice to the
joke in his head only he got. "I mean, suppose I really scanty girl walks past
you—what's you're reaction?"
Silence. Slight confusion.
"Or your thoughts? In general, I mean."
Silence. Then, "Is she armed?"
"Do you even have a sex drive?"
Kakashi already knew the answer to that—or had an idea, anyway. The Sand and
Leaf had been allies for a while now, and with one thing and another, it hadn't
taken long to identify what kind of monster Naruto had fought in the forest over
Sakura and Sasuke. Like the kitsune, the tanuki demon had been a trickster
among men with a much more bloody and cannibalistic streak and a libido to
exhaust a whorehouse.
Gaara had allowed one of the demon's indulgences to come through, but the other
one he kept locked away completely…excepting the occasional voyeurism, and that
didn't actually count for anything, really.
Silence, and then, "I have a thing in my head that does not let me sleep. I
have something in my blood that makes me kill. I have father that thinks
I was the apocalyptic weapon not worth the price I cost. I have a family that
fears me and a village that wants me dead. I don't really have time for
a 'sex drive'," he cut the word out precisely, like it was too dirty to touch,
"with my busy schedule."
This was stupidity in its purest, most reviling form.
"Maybe you should get around to making the time. You might like it."
"Why?"
"Who else is gonna do it for you? You wanna try something new, you gotta make
the time…you've got plenty of time for your hobbies down here."
Again, there was a silence, only now slightly stunned. It slowly became
insulted, and then became stunned again at the sheer audaciousness. The sand
stirred without Gaara even willing it—around his sandals, Kakashi felt the
slight cuts he had in his feet sting as salty sand got into them and gradually
made the cuts bigger and made fresh ones.
"You do this for your father?" Kakashi continued politely.
"No. They're my own…projects."
Curtly, Gaara continued another question, "Will anyone miss you if you die?"
"Oh, someone will notice, but I don't know if anyone will miss me. But
my skill is useful, as skill goes, and I have certain ties that will certainly
react if I'm to die suddenly. I'm an useful asset—my death would most certainly
be noticed."
Gaara waited, slightly green eyes margarita ice cold. He wasn't going to lower
himself to push at the man, and Kakashi slowly realized that this time he
really meant it. Either he cooperated or Gaara would kill him, but he wasn't
going to ask him twice anymore. Fine. Whatever. But that didn't mean he liked
it.
Kids were such a pain in the ass.
Or feet, rather. The bleeding was gradually getting worse, and Kakashi wondered
if Gaara had any idea what he was doing to him. Probably not.
"I've made a point to keep myself distanced. I don't want people to miss me if
I'm not there, because that's a fairly painful experience. Pain is
counter-productive to growth. However, I can't completely control what people
do, so…it's possible my students would. Gai might."
Honestly, Kakashi wasn't quite sure how people would react to his death—it was
something he didn't think about much. There would probably be the initial
shock, the necessary grief of a few weeks to a few months, and then his death
would be filed away in the sheaves of paper that made up the Leaf Human
Resources, and that would be it.
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why do you distance yourself?"
There was…something inherently wrong with that question, and Kakashi
took a minute to study Gaara in-depth. His expression hadn't changed, nor had
his eyes—they usually didn't. Gaara wasn't one much for showing his emotions,
and he returned Kakashi's stare coolly. It was entirely possible he had no idea
how personal of a question he had just asked, so Kakashi gave the generic
surface reason—it was still a little true, anyway.
"Because it hurts. It hurts too much. I wouldn't want someone I hated to feel
that, much less someone who might consider me a teammate. It simply hurts too
much."
"Why don't you want to be remembered?"
"I…don't want to be missed. I wouldn't mind being remembered."
"Do you fear for your life?"
"No. That'd be a waste of time in this uniform, as well as any other one. It'd
take up too much time from other things."
"Do you fear death?"
"No, that's something that happens to everyone no matter what. The Big Nap in
the Sun and maybe if you're good you get a soda to drink when you wake up, and
if you're bad you get really bad sunburn, but it's a natural road. Everyone
walks it, so it can't be that bad. It's just another part of life. Kind of like
retirement without worrying about income—nothing much too look forward to, but
it's something all the same."
Gaara hesitated. He had never quite heard death described like that. He stretched
his neck to one side, and considered. Without his quite willing, the sand
stopped stirring and probing Kakashi's feet—didn't move from them, but it
wasn't cutting them slowly apart anymore either.
"Do you intend to escape here?"
"No."
"When do you expect to go back to your village?"
Kakashi shrugged, "A couple days, a couple weeks, a month on the outside."
"Suppose I keep you longer?"
He referred to him in the possessive sense—Kakashi didn't react. The kid was
still bluntly fishing for reactions, seeing what he would do, and learning
through his reactions.
"How much longer?"
"A year or two."
"I suppose I would try to persuade you not to, unless you could persuade me
that it was in my better interest."
"You wouldn't miss your home?"
"I don't get attached much." Had Gaara blinked yet? He didn't think so—Kakashi
had been looking for it, pointedly, as the smell started to really irritate and
accustom itself to his nose. "Ask you something?"
Gaara felt the impulse to snap, to swear, to inflict injury for the
presumption—it'd been clear the man was here to answer his questions,
not the other way around. But that was the tanuki demon thinking, so Gaara
restrained the impulse. No. They were having a conversation. They were having a
normal civilized conversation just like normal civilized people—this was
what being human was about. He was human—he was not a demon. It was merely a
matter of…restraining impulses, really.
Still, his voice was a little strained. Kakashi's ears caught that. "Sure."
"Why did you take my mask?"
Oh. Well that was an easy question. It still didn't seem that Gaara had blinked
yet.
"You were having difficulty breathing with the fluids soaked in it. It would
have been pointless for me to rescue you just to have you suffocate on your own
fluids."
Kakashi nodded, "Thanks." He kept his voice neutral, polite but as tranquil as
a lake. He was a kid, after all—and Gaara seemed the type of kid who'd pull the
wings off a bug just to see what it would do. He had trouble telling the difference
between people and bugs Kakashi had noticed—perhaps there was no difference to
him. "I'd like it back though, now."
"Why?"
"I just like to keep track of what's mine—and if I'm a guest or prisoner here,"
Kakashi shrugged again as he took in the room deliberately in the poor light,
"I'd still hate to be a messy one, leaving my things everywhere."
Gaara didn't blink, but that was no real surprise. "No."
"You always do what you want?"
The fact that there was a challenge in the words was the only thing that made
Gaara answer verbally. "Usually, yes. Not always."
Kakashi glanced up with a slight sarcastic smile on his still-bloody lips. His
weapons had been taken off him along with his vest, and he wouldn't be terribly
surprised if he'd been searched all over, but his wounds hadn't been cared for
unless you counted the bit of sleep he was allowed. It could have always been
worse—his hands could've been broken to keep from using his jutsus or his right
eye taken from him while he slept.
"Well that's good to know. Is there somewhere I can get cleaned up?" He didn't
ask if he could get cleaned up on purpose—the kid was irritating, and
something was due in return. Besides, the kid seemed used to giving permission
to those close to him to even breathe…and this was the one the Sand
tried to kill every now and again? It wasn't hard to see why.
"The sand will lead you. Don't wander—I can't guarantee your safety if you do."
Kakashi nodded and walked out the door without a dismissal, taking educated
guesses of how far underground he was and how thick the walls were and what
time of day it was. He was fairly certain he was near the main village or some
metropolis—there was electricity down there and the chemicals he could smell
needed to be refrigerated. He couldn't hear any traffic, and the temperature
was cool so it…was probably daylight.
Gaara made a point of not watching him go, feeling something like irritation as
well, but mostly feeling like he had failed a test.
