I don't own Inuyasha,
Please don't sue,
I'm already much more
Broke then you.
Chapter 11: Memories
~.~.~.~.~.Sesshoumaru
I was struggling with all my might not to enter into the Chi-oko—the blood- rage—the state that youkai enter when they are grievously injured. If I did, then in all likelihood I would rip out Rin's throat, and probably the girl's too, but she might purify me before it came to that.
Seeing as how I had just basically killed myself for her, I did not want to do that.
As I drifted in and out of the realms of reality I thought of how disgraceful it was that Sesshoumaru, taiyoukai of the western lands, should die in such a way.
I thought of how my father had died.
~*~*~
I had despised my stepmother, Aymia, at first. I didn't understand how my father could have mated this pale shadow so soon after my own mother, Mashiro, who had been full of power, full of life, had died.
I hated her.
She put forth her best effort to be kind to me, however, to try and become an almost-replacement for my own mother. Both she and I knew that she would never take the place of my mother, but she did try to love me as she loved her son, my half-brother, Inuyasha.
He was the bond. Inuyasha looked up to me so when he was but a pup, and I grew to love him, and through him, Aymia.
One day, about a half-year after I had begun to care for Aymia almost as though she was an older sister, when I was only about 129—the human equivalent of about 13—one of the servants, Haishin, had come forth to tell my father that he had heard that the great dragon, Ryuukotsusi, wanted Aymia for his own.
Both my father and myself had flown into a lethal rage, and my father had immediately set of to kill the dragon who so dared.
A day later Jaken, another of the army of retainers, had come to me and told me that he had overheard the servants talking badly about my father, saying how he had gone soft and began to like humans. They disgraced my family name and my younger half-brother, who was not yet 25! (A/N: this is the hanyou equivalent of about 5) He was still barely out of being a toddler, even with how much faster hanyou age.
They talked about how brilliant the plan to get rid of my father had been. After all, no one wanted a soft warlord, and they believed that that was what he now was.
A weak, pathetic leader who had fallen so far as to take a human for a mate.
And yet none had had the courage to come out in the open and demand a challenge. No, he was still too strong to defeat, but he was too weak to lead the western lands anymore.
And as soon as he was dead, they would kill Aymia and the half-breed, to eliminate the weakness.
I had immediately gone to my stepmother, and told her to take Inuyasha and run, that the demons planned to kill them. I told her to go to a village at the edge of my father's domain, and wait for Inutaisho and me to come for them. As soon as I saw that she was on her way, I raced after my father.
I found him as he lay dying. He had defeated the dragon, but the battle had cost him his life. I could not bring myself to tell him that his fight had been for nothing as he told me with his last breaths to take care of my stepmother and half-brother.
I had stood over him as he lay freshly dead and cried the last tears I had ever cried.
That was the first day that I wore the now all-but permanent mask.
Immediately after he died I had returned to the Western Lands Citadel and slaughtered everyone in it.
It still wasn't enough.
A week later, through the haze of pain and grief and blood, I had remembered about Aymia and little Inuyasha. I had gone to get them, but when I finally tracked them to a house, I had found Aymia lying with blood surrounding her, some still dripping from the gaping hole in her neck. Inuyasha was crouching in a corner, crying, and I reached down and scooped him up in one arm, hugging him and feeling the horrible emptiness inside me. He and I were the same now, neither had a mother or a father.
Then I had gone outside and, after tracking them down, slaughtered the three that had killed her.
After I had deposited Inuyasha with his mother's parents, but even they died soon.
That year had been awash with blood.
My father had taught me a powerful lesson in his death—Emotion was a weakness, and any weakness would get you killed.
~*~*~
Now I thought of how true that was. I had cared for Rin, and that feeling had gotten me killed.
Just like my father.
~.~.~.~.~.Shippo
Despite all of my worry, it had been really, really funny to watch Sango and Miroku force-feed the potion and tea to Inuyasha, who sat with large Kirrara pinning his legs sputtering about how they were trying to kill him.
Now, however, that there was nothing to distract me my anxiety was just climbing higher and higher and higher...
I wished that I had some candy.
More then that, though, I wished that I had Kagome back.
I think that that is a shared wish, however. The entire group (with the exception of Inuyasha) was pacing back and forth, waiting and waiting.
Finally Sango couldn't take it and jumped on Kirrara, who ran in to the north, but I am sure that it was just to get out of there, and to run in a direction, any direction. To run and leave their troubles behind.
As hard as this is on the rest of us, I cannot even imagine what it must be like for Inuyasha. I am surprised that he has not gone mad by now.
We, at least, can still run.
~.~.~.~.~.Kagome
I held my hands to his chest and let my power flow into him, watching his eyes closely and at the same time probing his aura for any changes.
He seemed to be drifting between this realm and the others for a while, but after about a minute of me tentatively pushing threads of my power into him, his eyes cleared and I breathed again.
He looked at me then, his gaze boring holes in mine, but rather then his usual glare of you-are-not-worthy-to-be-scraped-off-my-shoe, it was softer.
Wait... did he seem almost...
Grateful? Not likely, but perhaps...
Disbelieving certainly.
I wonder why.
His wounds scabbed over and then grew smaller and smaller, finally disappearing without a scar (thank heaven).
Apparently he was still fairly tired though, I mean, exerting so much of his youki had to wear on a person, even if he was fully healed.
What clued me in was how he slumped down after my hands came unstuck. That is what it felt like when I finally started really healing, like my hands were glued there and my energy being pulled out of me.
It was a weird feeling, to say the least.
Anyway, he was kneeling there with his hands supporting him in this small lake made of blood which was mostly mine but had some of his mixed in and bits of gore bobbing like apples. Only I so did not want to stick my head in and get one of them, I can't tell you. Tensaiga was lying beside him, shimmering in its pale blue glow, now dampened by red.
He managed to lift his head up to tell Rin not to worry, that he would be fine, that he was just tired, and managed to drag himself mostly out before collapsing completely, his eyes fluttering shut.
I set up a bubble of my power (which was white again) and then dragged him the rest of the way out.
Apparently it was my turn to keep watch.
******
;___; sniff, sniff. It's just so SAD!!!!!! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is why Sesshoumaru seems so cold. And, really, who can blame him?
Ok then, if you were wondering what some of the names mean...
Mashiro- Pure White. In case you didn't catch on, she is Sess's mom.
Haishin- Betrayal, Infidelity. Obvious, I know, but forgive me. It is late.
Aymia- Night Rain. If you want the truth of the matter, I just liked this name.
Okey dokie, you know the brand new shiny routine. Five reviews, people.
Reviewer Responses:
Sukera- Ok, I updated. I was as fast as I could, but I didn't rush. I started writing this one as soon as I saw all of the reviews for the last one. Ehe...
butterflygirl013- Ummm... he just healed her because he wanted some extra protection for Rin and he thought that he had the power. Didn't I make that clear enough? As to the purple power, well, if you look around then you might be able to find out about it...
shadownekko- that is just so NICE!! ;D Thank you so much! Even though I still think that I write him a bit overemotional....
blue fox demon- Well, I gave you your update. Arncha proud?
bleedingwings666- I'm glad that you like it! (ps, a lot of the time I don't sign in either. Too lazy)
CometsChaos- gee that's nice. Do you have any suggestions?
Chapter 11: Memories
~.~.~.~.~.Sesshoumaru
I was struggling with all my might not to enter into the Chi-oko—the blood- rage—the state that youkai enter when they are grievously injured. If I did, then in all likelihood I would rip out Rin's throat, and probably the girl's too, but she might purify me before it came to that.
Seeing as how I had just basically killed myself for her, I did not want to do that.
As I drifted in and out of the realms of reality I thought of how disgraceful it was that Sesshoumaru, taiyoukai of the western lands, should die in such a way.
I thought of how my father had died.
~*~*~
I had despised my stepmother, Aymia, at first. I didn't understand how my father could have mated this pale shadow so soon after my own mother, Mashiro, who had been full of power, full of life, had died.
I hated her.
She put forth her best effort to be kind to me, however, to try and become an almost-replacement for my own mother. Both she and I knew that she would never take the place of my mother, but she did try to love me as she loved her son, my half-brother, Inuyasha.
He was the bond. Inuyasha looked up to me so when he was but a pup, and I grew to love him, and through him, Aymia.
One day, about a half-year after I had begun to care for Aymia almost as though she was an older sister, when I was only about 129—the human equivalent of about 13—one of the servants, Haishin, had come forth to tell my father that he had heard that the great dragon, Ryuukotsusi, wanted Aymia for his own.
Both my father and myself had flown into a lethal rage, and my father had immediately set of to kill the dragon who so dared.
A day later Jaken, another of the army of retainers, had come to me and told me that he had overheard the servants talking badly about my father, saying how he had gone soft and began to like humans. They disgraced my family name and my younger half-brother, who was not yet 25! (A/N: this is the hanyou equivalent of about 5) He was still barely out of being a toddler, even with how much faster hanyou age.
They talked about how brilliant the plan to get rid of my father had been. After all, no one wanted a soft warlord, and they believed that that was what he now was.
A weak, pathetic leader who had fallen so far as to take a human for a mate.
And yet none had had the courage to come out in the open and demand a challenge. No, he was still too strong to defeat, but he was too weak to lead the western lands anymore.
And as soon as he was dead, they would kill Aymia and the half-breed, to eliminate the weakness.
I had immediately gone to my stepmother, and told her to take Inuyasha and run, that the demons planned to kill them. I told her to go to a village at the edge of my father's domain, and wait for Inutaisho and me to come for them. As soon as I saw that she was on her way, I raced after my father.
I found him as he lay dying. He had defeated the dragon, but the battle had cost him his life. I could not bring myself to tell him that his fight had been for nothing as he told me with his last breaths to take care of my stepmother and half-brother.
I had stood over him as he lay freshly dead and cried the last tears I had ever cried.
That was the first day that I wore the now all-but permanent mask.
Immediately after he died I had returned to the Western Lands Citadel and slaughtered everyone in it.
It still wasn't enough.
A week later, through the haze of pain and grief and blood, I had remembered about Aymia and little Inuyasha. I had gone to get them, but when I finally tracked them to a house, I had found Aymia lying with blood surrounding her, some still dripping from the gaping hole in her neck. Inuyasha was crouching in a corner, crying, and I reached down and scooped him up in one arm, hugging him and feeling the horrible emptiness inside me. He and I were the same now, neither had a mother or a father.
Then I had gone outside and, after tracking them down, slaughtered the three that had killed her.
After I had deposited Inuyasha with his mother's parents, but even they died soon.
That year had been awash with blood.
My father had taught me a powerful lesson in his death—Emotion was a weakness, and any weakness would get you killed.
~*~*~
Now I thought of how true that was. I had cared for Rin, and that feeling had gotten me killed.
Just like my father.
~.~.~.~.~.Shippo
Despite all of my worry, it had been really, really funny to watch Sango and Miroku force-feed the potion and tea to Inuyasha, who sat with large Kirrara pinning his legs sputtering about how they were trying to kill him.
Now, however, that there was nothing to distract me my anxiety was just climbing higher and higher and higher...
I wished that I had some candy.
More then that, though, I wished that I had Kagome back.
I think that that is a shared wish, however. The entire group (with the exception of Inuyasha) was pacing back and forth, waiting and waiting.
Finally Sango couldn't take it and jumped on Kirrara, who ran in to the north, but I am sure that it was just to get out of there, and to run in a direction, any direction. To run and leave their troubles behind.
As hard as this is on the rest of us, I cannot even imagine what it must be like for Inuyasha. I am surprised that he has not gone mad by now.
We, at least, can still run.
~.~.~.~.~.Kagome
I held my hands to his chest and let my power flow into him, watching his eyes closely and at the same time probing his aura for any changes.
He seemed to be drifting between this realm and the others for a while, but after about a minute of me tentatively pushing threads of my power into him, his eyes cleared and I breathed again.
He looked at me then, his gaze boring holes in mine, but rather then his usual glare of you-are-not-worthy-to-be-scraped-off-my-shoe, it was softer.
Wait... did he seem almost...
Grateful? Not likely, but perhaps...
Disbelieving certainly.
I wonder why.
His wounds scabbed over and then grew smaller and smaller, finally disappearing without a scar (thank heaven).
Apparently he was still fairly tired though, I mean, exerting so much of his youki had to wear on a person, even if he was fully healed.
What clued me in was how he slumped down after my hands came unstuck. That is what it felt like when I finally started really healing, like my hands were glued there and my energy being pulled out of me.
It was a weird feeling, to say the least.
Anyway, he was kneeling there with his hands supporting him in this small lake made of blood which was mostly mine but had some of his mixed in and bits of gore bobbing like apples. Only I so did not want to stick my head in and get one of them, I can't tell you. Tensaiga was lying beside him, shimmering in its pale blue glow, now dampened by red.
He managed to lift his head up to tell Rin not to worry, that he would be fine, that he was just tired, and managed to drag himself mostly out before collapsing completely, his eyes fluttering shut.
I set up a bubble of my power (which was white again) and then dragged him the rest of the way out.
Apparently it was my turn to keep watch.
******
;___; sniff, sniff. It's just so SAD!!!!!! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is why Sesshoumaru seems so cold. And, really, who can blame him?
Ok then, if you were wondering what some of the names mean...
Mashiro- Pure White. In case you didn't catch on, she is Sess's mom.
Haishin- Betrayal, Infidelity. Obvious, I know, but forgive me. It is late.
Aymia- Night Rain. If you want the truth of the matter, I just liked this name.
Okey dokie, you know the brand new shiny routine. Five reviews, people.
Reviewer Responses:
Sukera- Ok, I updated. I was as fast as I could, but I didn't rush. I started writing this one as soon as I saw all of the reviews for the last one. Ehe...
butterflygirl013- Ummm... he just healed her because he wanted some extra protection for Rin and he thought that he had the power. Didn't I make that clear enough? As to the purple power, well, if you look around then you might be able to find out about it...
shadownekko- that is just so NICE!! ;D Thank you so much! Even though I still think that I write him a bit overemotional....
blue fox demon- Well, I gave you your update. Arncha proud?
bleedingwings666- I'm glad that you like it! (ps, a lot of the time I don't sign in either. Too lazy)
CometsChaos- gee that's nice. Do you have any suggestions?