Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, The Wizard of Oz, the Pillsbury Doughboy, or anything else I put into this story.
Chapter One:
Harry was entering his 12th year at Hogwarts. It does seem strange that someone as smart as Harry could be held back for five years, but nonetheless his time at Hogwarts was much more enjoyable then his time at home. Actually, Harry couldn't go home; however, that's another story. So far this year, Harry was passing all of his classes. Now that Snape was gone, Potions was a whole lot easier. What happened to Snape? It's a pretty funny story...
Six years ago, Voldemort was back in power. Snape was his right hand man...sort of. Voldemort had lost his right hand in a tragic car accident that almost took
his life. He needed an amputation of his right hand. Out of all of his followers, Snape was the lucky one to give up his hand. Now, Voldemort has a hand and Snape is awfully mad. So, he starts to plan.
Snape and his old friend the Pillsbury Doughboy came up with a grand scheme. While Voldemort was watching his favorite television show, General Hospital, the Doughboy would sit on his lap. Voldemort, being the funny guy that he is, would begin poking the Doughboy in the stomach. Nobody can resist poking the Doughboy. When Voldemort is busy poking, Snape will sneak up behind him with a chainsaw and cut off Voldemort's hand so that Snape can get it back. The only problem is chainsaws make a lot of noise. Voldemort noticed. He decided to kill Snape by drowning him in maple syrup. And that's the end of good old Professor Snape.
Anyway, Harry was having a pretty good time. There are a lot of perks when you are five years older then all of the other kids. For example, Harry always enjoyed being taller then them, was the only one who got to shave, and was the only student at the legal drinking age (not that it matters). He could curse them without getting in trouble either. But that wasn't all its cracked up to be.
Harry was in his 10th year at the time of the incident. There was a kid by the name of Falco Malfoy in his 2nd year. Harry hated him. He wasn't related to Draco in anyways, but Harry didn't like his name. So one day he decided to give Falco a SUPER SWIRLEY. "Superbious swiliverous," said Harry. The curse backfired and ended up blowing up the toilet. Poor Falco was caught in an explosion of fragmented porcelain. He died and Harry stopped hexing younger students.