Disclaimer: The only thing I own in this entire story is...oh wait...I don't own anything.
Chapter 3: A bit of History
Once upon a time, there were two wizarding kingdoms. Munchkin Land and the Domain of Hogwarts. These powerful nations were always at peace with each other until the Event-Which-Will-Not-Be-Named-But-It-Is-Really-Bad occurred.
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In the year 23641 W.Y. (Wizard Years) Roofus Dumbldore, the Headmaster of Hogwarts, was very annoyed. He had just discovered that James Madison, the Wizard of Oz, had stolen his favorite pensive. This was a special pensive because it could make you go back in time AND it could be used as a pasta strainer thingy. Roofus had the utmost respect for James, he had framed the Bill of Rights, but he was extremely fond of his pensive/colander. To get back at Madison, Dumbledore kidnaped his wife, known to muggles as Dolly. In the wizarding world her name was Tribula. She was the most beautiful wizard ever. Tribula was also extremely talented and was popular with the tabloids. Everyone loved Tribula and nobody would think of an honest man, such as Dumbledore, to abduct her. But he did and that worked to his advantage.
Tribula, in fact, hated her life. She wanted to be out of the spotlight. So she wasn't really abducted, she went willingly. In Hogwarts, she became a doctor and ejoyed helping all of the sick wizards, it gave her a purpose rather then being a figurehead of Munchkin Land. She was treated well in Hogwarts and got along great with everyone.
Munchkin Land was in a frenzy. How could someone steal Tribula. It was an outrage. James Madison was pissed. He was even more pissed when he found out that it was his old friend Roofus who took her. Munchkin Land went to war with Hogwarts. However, they were no match for the enormous wizard army. Finally, after 7 2/5th years of fighting the Munchkins got Tribula back. They might not have been as strong as the wizards, but they had some brains. James Madison himself came up with the which won the war.
The Munchkins built a huge donut known as the "Trojan Donut". They presented it to Hogwarts as a gift of surrender. James Madison, being the sly dude that he is, hid a platoon of Munchkins in the donut. Led by Billy Banks, the Munchkins took the wizards by surprise. Within days they had destroyed Hogwarts Castle taken Tribula back to Munchkin Land. They won the battle, but not the war. Three days later, Dumbledore used his secret weapons of mass destruction, which he borrowed from Saddam Hussein(and you were wondering why America didn't find anything in Iraq) to destroy Munchkin Land. Almost everyone in Munchkin Land killed themselves rather then listening to Jorma the worst singer in the history of the world. The few that made it through the five straight days of Jorma began to rebuild Munchkin Land to its former glory.
Tribula, whose husband killed himself after the first day of listening to Jorma, got remarried. She and her husband, Squiglous Snape, had 5 kids and lived to the old age of 97 when she tragically died in a skydiving accident.