Disclaimer: Now its... fifty cups of coffee and you know its on. I don't own Harry Potter or this song. I should be a Beastie Boy.
Chapter 4: The Wizard of Oz was VERY happy until he did some stuff and got arrested and did some more stuff....
The chapter title pretty much explains everything. The Wizard was already celebrating his victory over Hogwarts, even though his troops were still marching. He decided to go out to eat for his birthday. Out of all of the wonderful restaurants in the world, the Wizard's favorite was Bertuccis. However, in a freak accident coughterroristscough/coughlookattheauthorspennamecough every single Bertuccis in the world was turned into an interpretive dance studio chain. The studios, known as Odd Jon's Interpretive Dance, quickly became popular with overweight women who wanted to look like Barbie.
Where was I....OH YEAH... so the Wizard of Oz went to his second favorite restaurant, Applebee's. AND TODAY WAS THE WIZARDS BIRTHDAY. You know what that means...you don't? What's wrong with you. Everybody whose anybody knows that when you go to Applebee's for your birthday they sing to you. Thats right, the waitresses get in a big circle, get out their acoustic guitars and sing Kumbaya. Needless to say, the Wizard was thrilled to go to Applebee's, he ordered Mac & Cheese (his favorite meal) off of the kids menu. Then came the big show. The Wizard was clapping along with Kumbaya when his clumsiness kicked in.
The Wizard of Oz fell out of his chair and into one of the waitresses who was singing. Well...she got pissed and took the Wizard to court for sexual harassment.
In Court:
"Do you, Richard Simmons, swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me God"
Everyone in the court was stunned to find out Richard Simmons was the person on trial(as if his dorky workout clothes and afro didn't give it away). Little did the jury know that Richard Simmons was also the Wizard of Oz.
The March of the Munchkins:
"Hup two three four..."
"We will capture Dumbledore"
"Five six seven eight"
"Cut his beard and lay it straight"
It wasn't going good for Richard/The Wizard of Oz.
"One hundred twenty-seven One hundred twenty-eight One hundred twenty-nine"
"I'm tired of counting"
"I'm tired of marching"
"Lets go see a show," suggested one Munchkin.
"Okay," said DeVito.
"Lets watch Different Strokes," said Coleman
"NO!!!!!" shouted every single member of the Munchkin Army.
"It was just a suggestion"
The Munckins decided to go see Cats on Broadway.
The trial continues
"That was a good show"
"Lets move out"
"Start counting"
"What number were we at"
"Start over"
"Hup two three four..."
"We will capture Dumbledore"
"Five six seven eight"
"Gary Coleman is so great"
"SHUT UP"
"It's going to be a long march"
"The jury has reached a verdict. We find Richard Simmons guilty of being a WITCH"
"WHAT THATS NOT EVEN WHAT IM ON TRIAL FOR"
"Shut up Simmons, or should I say WITCHY HEAD," said the judge.
"Give me a chance"
"Okay witch boy, we'll give you a test. First you will have 50 lbs attached to each leg. Then you will be thrown into a lake. If you sink, your not a witch, if you float, you are a witch"
At Hogwarts:
"I'm hungry," said Harry as he went to the kitchen for a snack.