[Scene: a small room, cluttered and untidy. In front of a white, fairly old PC sits a large wolf, dark-brown in color. How the wolf manages to type is and shall forever remain a mystery]
Cyberwolf: Let's see…maybe I should check Tannim's page next…
[the door slams suddenly open, and Cyberwolf topples off the office-chair with a yelp. Two teenagers enter. It is Ruki and Takato]
Ruki: (growling) I have a bone to pick with you.
Cyberwolf: (laughing nervously) Why, dearest Ruki-chan! Whatever brings you to my humble abode? ^-^;;
Takato: (looking around) Humble is right. Cyber, don't you ever clean up?
Cyberwolf: It's not so much the cleaning as the finding places to put things.
Takato: I see what you mean. I have the same problem with my sketchbooks sometimes…
Ruki: I am not here to talk about your housekeeping!
Takato and Cyber: (tails between legs or the equivalent thereof) Sorry, Ruki.
Cyber: (whispering to Takato) Man, she's scary. And you want to go out with her?
Takato: (whispering back) It's part of her charm. Besides, you're the one who wrote her like this.
Cyber: (still whispering) It pleases the readers, but I'm finding it hazardous to my health.
Ruki: (yelling) Would you quit talking about me as if I wasn't here?!
Cyber: Gleep. (dives below table)
Takato: (nervously) Now, Ruki-chan…remember, high blood pressure…
Ruki: (takes several deep breaths) All right, I'm okay. I'm calm. I'm cool. I won't bash you for that.
Cyber: (sighs in relief and begins to climb out from under the table)
Ruki: No – I'm going to bash you for leaving me in limbo for months!
(somewhere off in the Real World, several reviewers nod in agreement. No names need be mentioned. *cough*Archangemon*cough*FusionBlaster*cough*among others*cough)
Cyber: (promptly dives back to her hiding place)
Ruki: You left us – me there, hanging in limbo! For months! Nothing to do but eat and be stuck in the Ucchan's…
Ukyo: (suddenly pops in) What's wrong with my place?
Ruki: Nothing in particular…it's just boring if we're there for months and can't do anything while we're there…
Ukyo: Oh, that's okay then. (pops back out)
Takato: (waves) Bye Ukyo-san!
Cyber: I'm sorry, Ruki, really I am, but….
Ruki: You're going to be a lot more than sorry when I'm through with you!
Cyber: (howling) It's not my fault! Blame him!
Ruki: Who?
[With a puff of white smoke, a thin boy with untidy black hair and brilliant green eyes materializes in the room]
Boy: Voldemort! Portkeying me again!? (is suddenly holding a long stick) Incendio!
Takato: (ducks as a jet of red light flashes over his head)
Boy: What the…? You guys aren't Death Eaters, are you?
Takato: (smiling in a friendly manner, totally disregarding the earlier attack) Hello! My name's Takato Matsuda. What's yours?
Boy: Oh…I'm Harry Potter. (shakes Takato's hand) Nice to meet you. Sorry about that, I thought you were an evil wizard. Why are we here?
Ruki: (ignoring the boy and turning again to Cyber) And what does he have to do with us?
Cyber: Well, I've been a little busy writing his fanfic, so that's why…
Takato: (mumbling) You haven't been writing that very quickly either.
Harry: (who had been briefed by Takato about the whole situation) Hey, don't you blame this on me! (muttering) I get enough of that back home.
Ranma: (pops in) I hear ya, man. (pops out)
All: (blink-blink)
Ruki: (turning to Cyber) In any case, Cyber, I came here to…remind you that characters don't appreciate being left dangling.
Takato: (leading Harry away) Hey, want to play a round of Digimon with me?
Harry: (curiously) What's that?
Takato: (enthusiastically) Oh, you just wait! It's the best game, really…see, you have a deck of cards…
[both boys ignore the cloud of dust rising behind them, and the whimpers of pain]
Later…
Ruki: (dusts off hands) Well, that's not going to happen again, is it?
Cyber: (hooked up to an IV drip) Noh m'm…
[translation: No ma'am]
Ruki: Takato! We're done here!
Takato: …and the Seeker looks for the Snitch.
Harry: Yeah, you got it!
Takato: (wistfully) It sounds like fun…
Harry: Why don't you come over? I'll lend you my Firebolt, in return for teaching me that Digimon game…the Dursleys don't dare lock me in anymore… ^_^
Takato: It's a deal! ^_^
Ruki: (rolling her eyes) C'mon, gogglehead, four-eyes… -_-;;
[the three teenagers depart]
Cyber: Mwahahahaha (ouch) hahahaha (that stings!) hahahahahahaaaaa…wheeze. She thinks it's over but it's not….ow. She doesn't know there's still at least three chapters to this baby! The nightmare lives oooooooooon! Mwhaahahahahaa…gasp...Note to self, limit Evil-Overlord-Laughter when sustaining severe internal injuries.
***
PS: Is it just me or does the relationship between Takato and Ruki seem like the one between Luke and Mara in Star Wars?