[author's note: Nope, we don't own any of it.]
(The TV disappears)
Elena: (sighs)....That was one hell of a shitty ending!!!!!!
Reno: Yeah...what the hell? They made so many different things happen and they never gave any answers to them!
Elena: Well...At least they FINALLY kissed!
Tseng: Yeah...thats the only good thing that happened at the ending..
Rufus: I SAID LIGHTS OUT TURKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rude: But Hard Copy-
Rufus: WHAT DO I CARE IF HARD COPY IS ON?!?!?!? I SAID LIGHTS OUT!!!!!! HARD COPY SAID I WAS GAY YOU SHOULDN'T BE WATCHING THAT!!!!!!!!!!
Reno: Well Sir...Aren't you really Gay anyway??
Rufus: WHA WHA WHAT?!?!?!?
Reno:.....? The "offer"???
Rufus:.........
(silence)
Rufus: LIGHTS OUT!!!!!!!
Tseng:....(sigh)...Ok Sir. (turns off the lights)
Lights: Click!
Elena: Now I can't see my way back to my room!
Tseng: Well then I guess that means you will be staying in my room....we can play on the tramplene.....heh heh!!!
Elena: ok!! (Tseng and Elena wobble off in the dark)
Reno: I can't see anything!!!
Rude: Where am I?
Rufus: Now I can't get out!!! (Finds the door, pees his pants, and runs out of the lounge)
Rude: We will be stuck in this darkness forever!
Reno: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
(silence)
Reno: RUDE???? RUDE???? DID YOU FIND YOUR WAY OUT?!?!?
Rude: NOOOO!! I PEED MY PANTS!!!!
Reno: (slips in pee and falls)...GROSS!!! AAAHHH!!!!!!
Palmer: Tralalala, I need to go on a diet?? NOOOOOOOOOOOO! (slips in Rudes pee, and dies because he never ate for the 10 minutes that he was knocked out)
Rude: What the hell was that?
Reno:.......Palmer I think.
Rude: I don't hear him breathing........does this mean that he is dead?!
Reno: WOOOO HOOOOO! Palmer is finally dead! Rude! I love your pee!
Rude: Is that YOU talking, or is it Uncle Sam?
Reno: Me, I do not love you, but I do love your pee because it killed Palmer.
Rude: Oh, now how do we get to our beds?
Reno: I cannot find the light....oh poopy.
Rude: So what now? This place smells like dead Palmer, pee, and........lounge.
Reno: Damn! I hate the smell of lounge!
Rude: (sighs) I know Reno, (pats him on the back) I know....
-- October 31......HALLOWEEN!! --
Narrator: Now Reno and Rude fell asleep in the smelly lounge, that smelled like dead Palmer, pee, and well, lounge, and they wake up, unexpectedly, when-
Tseng: (Opens the door and hits Rude and Reno both in the heads.).......................?!
Rude: Piss on vinegar!!!! What the hell was that for?!
Reno: I do not like green eggs and ham, I do not like them Sam I Am........what? Rude? Tseng? SHIT! IT'S HALLOWEEN! HOO-WOO! (gallops around Rude and Tseng)
Tseng: Um, what are you doing?
Reno: It is a tradition of the tribe that I came from....
Rude: What the hell? You were never in a tribe! We were neighbors when we were little!
Reno: Well, you must have mistaken me for another Reno.....I was in a tribe.
Tseng: Reno, you're an idiot.
Reno: DAMN IT! Rude, you always ruin EVERYTHING!
Rude: What?
Reno: Man, why did you blow my cover?
Tseng: Reno, even if Rude never blew your cover I still would know you were lying,
Reno:......................how?
Tseng: Because you were talking in a gay narrator voice, that's how.
Narrator: (in a gay narrator voice) I take offense to that.
Tseng: Who asked you.
Reno: Oh, ok.
Rude: Let's get some bacon egg and cheese sandwiches!
Reno: Yummmmmmm......ok!
Tseng: Where are you going to get those?
Rude: From a secret place, that only Reno and me know about.
Tseng: Ok.
-- Cloud's Villa --
Cloud: DIE DIE DIE!
Aeris: Cloud! Don't kill him just because he went through your baseball card collection!
Sephy: Mommy?
Barret: Don' listen to dat Flower girl! KILL HIM DIE DIE DIE!
Aeris: Cloud, you don't want to do this........especially to a man that is unarmed, it is not fair.
Barret: Life is unfair, kill him Cloud, DIE DIE DIE!
Cloud: Woooo shaw! (kills Sephy)
Reno: Ummm, anyone seen Tifa 'round?
Aeris: What?
Rude: She makes us bacon egg and cheese sandwiches.......and we are hungry.
Barret: DIE DIE DIE!
Reno: Ack!
Rude: (pees his pants, and he and Reno run out of the Villa)
-- at Tifa's Seventh Heaven --
Tifa: Rude? Reno?
Rude: Um, will you make us some more bacon egg and cheese sandwiches please?
Tifa:...........ok!
Reno: I want mine with bacon.
Rude:............me too.
Tifa:.... ??
Reno: PUMPKINS!
Rude: Wha?
Reno: we forgot to make pumpkins!
Rude: I'm sure Rufus had some custom made already.
Reno: Oh...ok!
Narrator: Reno and Rude eat their sandwiches, and they then go back to their lounge.
Reno: Boy that was yummy.....
Rude: Tonight's the big night, everyone will be so funny to watch!
Reno: Hahaha! I know!
Tseng: (who just walked in with Elena) What will be funny?
Rude: The thing.....at the place....and the tigers.......yeaaaa
Tseng:..............??
Elena: I think you two are up to something.....
Reno: ME?! No.....well not today anyway.
Tseng: Oh, ok then.
Reno: (bursts out laughing and snot flies out of his nose) Ack!
Tseng: Hahahahaha! Reno, blow your nose, it always blows!
Reno:......anyone got me a tissue?
Tseng: Heh, I think he is practicing to be a pirate.
Rude: Heh, maybe he is....
Reno: ............please, I need a tissue
Elena: Aren't all pirates gay?
Reno: TISSUE!
Tseng: Me brother is dead, me mother is pregnant with a German kid, and me father is gay.
Reno:........................Rude?
Rude: (hands Reno a tissue from his front pocket.......that is yellow) Ooops, that's the best I can do.
Reno: NOOOOO! Then me nose will smell like pee!
Tseng: I think he has developed a speech disorder.
Elena:......Aren't people that say me all the time gay?
Reno: (with snot dripping down his face) NOT GAY!!!!!! (runs out the door, and runs into a secretary.)
Secretary: SHIT! YOU DIRTY BASTARD!
Reno: (with snot dripping down his nose) Excuse me, do you have a tissue?
Secretary: Gross! (runs away)
Reno: Damn, (starts to run down the hallway to the bathroom, and runs into a tour guide, with millions of people on hand.)
Tour Guide: Dirty son of a bitch!
People: Gross bastard!
Reno: Anyone have a tissue?
Tour Guide: What are you? Gay? Get away from me sick pervert!!!
Reno: I-damn you all! (runs down the hall, and continues to run into EVERY person he encounters, and never gets a tissue)
(In Rufus' Office)
Tissue Box: Lalalalalalalala! Ooooh, look at me! I'm in Rufus' office! Lalalala, I wonder when somebody is going to take a tissue from me...lalala!
Reno: (outside Rufus' offices' door)..............do I want to? But, what about his "offer acceptance"? Screw it, I'm going in!
Rufus: (On the phone with Judy Jetson) Well, I know how you feel about Mako polluting the air up there, but it is making me wealthy, so you will either have to deal, or you will die.
Reno: (looks at the tissue box with pretty frilly flowers all over it and thinking; "should I ask, if I do, will he think I am being nice to him so we can get it on? But if I just take it, will he think I am playing hard to get? (starts to sweat) Oh man, I'll just pretend I am in a bad mood, and just take it and storm back out, yea, good plan!!!!! You are such a genius Reno!" as snot is dripping off his chin)
Rufus: Well, we hate you Jetsons anyway! (hangs up the phone) Damn those Jetsons, such slackers.
Reno: (all of a sudden puts on a "grumpy face", crosses his arms, storms over to the tissue box, rips one out of it, and because the company tissues are so cheap, the tissue he was reaching for ripped, so he takes another, and it rips, and so he takes another, and it rips, Reno gets pissed, scoffs, and takes the whole box off of Rufus' desk, rips out a fart, and storms out)
Rufus: .................................................................?
Reno: (slams the door to Rufus' office behind him) PHEW! (wipes off sweat from his forehead, and FINALLY wipes off the snot from his face) Brrrr, now my face is cold. (tries to warm up his face by rubbing his hands on his cheeks, but he forgets that the tissue is in one hand, and whipes the snot back on his face.) DAMN IT! HALLOWEEN SUCKS!
Rufus: (walks out) It is a shame you feel that way, Halloween is MY favorite time of the year.
Reno: SHIT!!!!!! (wipes off his snot, throws the crumpled up tissue and the box at Rufus, and runs back to the lounge.)
(Halloween, 5:00pm)
(Turks Lounge)
Reno: Hey Rude, you almost ready?
Rude: (spits into a white napkin) Hell yea!
Reno: OK! (spits into a white napkin and makes the napkin look like a ghost by drawing a smiley face with black magic markers on the head part.)
[author's note: Hmm, I wonder what these silly Turks are up to!]
(The TV disappears)
Elena: (sighs)....That was one hell of a shitty ending!!!!!!
Reno: Yeah...what the hell? They made so many different things happen and they never gave any answers to them!
Elena: Well...At least they FINALLY kissed!
Tseng: Yeah...thats the only good thing that happened at the ending..
Rufus: I SAID LIGHTS OUT TURKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rude: But Hard Copy-
Rufus: WHAT DO I CARE IF HARD COPY IS ON?!?!?!? I SAID LIGHTS OUT!!!!!! HARD COPY SAID I WAS GAY YOU SHOULDN'T BE WATCHING THAT!!!!!!!!!!
Reno: Well Sir...Aren't you really Gay anyway??
Rufus: WHA WHA WHAT?!?!?!?
Reno:.....? The "offer"???
Rufus:.........
(silence)
Rufus: LIGHTS OUT!!!!!!!
Tseng:....(sigh)...Ok Sir. (turns off the lights)
Lights: Click!
Elena: Now I can't see my way back to my room!
Tseng: Well then I guess that means you will be staying in my room....we can play on the tramplene.....heh heh!!!
Elena: ok!! (Tseng and Elena wobble off in the dark)
Reno: I can't see anything!!!
Rude: Where am I?
Rufus: Now I can't get out!!! (Finds the door, pees his pants, and runs out of the lounge)
Rude: We will be stuck in this darkness forever!
Reno: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
(silence)
Reno: RUDE???? RUDE???? DID YOU FIND YOUR WAY OUT?!?!?
Rude: NOOOO!! I PEED MY PANTS!!!!
Reno: (slips in pee and falls)...GROSS!!! AAAHHH!!!!!!
Palmer: Tralalala, I need to go on a diet?? NOOOOOOOOOOOO! (slips in Rudes pee, and dies because he never ate for the 10 minutes that he was knocked out)
Rude: What the hell was that?
Reno:.......Palmer I think.
Rude: I don't hear him breathing........does this mean that he is dead?!
Reno: WOOOO HOOOOO! Palmer is finally dead! Rude! I love your pee!
Rude: Is that YOU talking, or is it Uncle Sam?
Reno: Me, I do not love you, but I do love your pee because it killed Palmer.
Rude: Oh, now how do we get to our beds?
Reno: I cannot find the light....oh poopy.
Rude: So what now? This place smells like dead Palmer, pee, and........lounge.
Reno: Damn! I hate the smell of lounge!
Rude: (sighs) I know Reno, (pats him on the back) I know....
-- October 31......HALLOWEEN!! --
Narrator: Now Reno and Rude fell asleep in the smelly lounge, that smelled like dead Palmer, pee, and well, lounge, and they wake up, unexpectedly, when-
Tseng: (Opens the door and hits Rude and Reno both in the heads.).......................?!
Rude: Piss on vinegar!!!! What the hell was that for?!
Reno: I do not like green eggs and ham, I do not like them Sam I Am........what? Rude? Tseng? SHIT! IT'S HALLOWEEN! HOO-WOO! (gallops around Rude and Tseng)
Tseng: Um, what are you doing?
Reno: It is a tradition of the tribe that I came from....
Rude: What the hell? You were never in a tribe! We were neighbors when we were little!
Reno: Well, you must have mistaken me for another Reno.....I was in a tribe.
Tseng: Reno, you're an idiot.
Reno: DAMN IT! Rude, you always ruin EVERYTHING!
Rude: What?
Reno: Man, why did you blow my cover?
Tseng: Reno, even if Rude never blew your cover I still would know you were lying,
Reno:......................how?
Tseng: Because you were talking in a gay narrator voice, that's how.
Narrator: (in a gay narrator voice) I take offense to that.
Tseng: Who asked you.
Reno: Oh, ok.
Rude: Let's get some bacon egg and cheese sandwiches!
Reno: Yummmmmmm......ok!
Tseng: Where are you going to get those?
Rude: From a secret place, that only Reno and me know about.
Tseng: Ok.
-- Cloud's Villa --
Cloud: DIE DIE DIE!
Aeris: Cloud! Don't kill him just because he went through your baseball card collection!
Sephy: Mommy?
Barret: Don' listen to dat Flower girl! KILL HIM DIE DIE DIE!
Aeris: Cloud, you don't want to do this........especially to a man that is unarmed, it is not fair.
Barret: Life is unfair, kill him Cloud, DIE DIE DIE!
Cloud: Woooo shaw! (kills Sephy)
Reno: Ummm, anyone seen Tifa 'round?
Aeris: What?
Rude: She makes us bacon egg and cheese sandwiches.......and we are hungry.
Barret: DIE DIE DIE!
Reno: Ack!
Rude: (pees his pants, and he and Reno run out of the Villa)
-- at Tifa's Seventh Heaven --
Tifa: Rude? Reno?
Rude: Um, will you make us some more bacon egg and cheese sandwiches please?
Tifa:...........ok!
Reno: I want mine with bacon.
Rude:............me too.
Tifa:.... ??
Reno: PUMPKINS!
Rude: Wha?
Reno: we forgot to make pumpkins!
Rude: I'm sure Rufus had some custom made already.
Reno: Oh...ok!
Narrator: Reno and Rude eat their sandwiches, and they then go back to their lounge.
Reno: Boy that was yummy.....
Rude: Tonight's the big night, everyone will be so funny to watch!
Reno: Hahaha! I know!
Tseng: (who just walked in with Elena) What will be funny?
Rude: The thing.....at the place....and the tigers.......yeaaaa
Tseng:..............??
Elena: I think you two are up to something.....
Reno: ME?! No.....well not today anyway.
Tseng: Oh, ok then.
Reno: (bursts out laughing and snot flies out of his nose) Ack!
Tseng: Hahahahaha! Reno, blow your nose, it always blows!
Reno:......anyone got me a tissue?
Tseng: Heh, I think he is practicing to be a pirate.
Rude: Heh, maybe he is....
Reno: ............please, I need a tissue
Elena: Aren't all pirates gay?
Reno: TISSUE!
Tseng: Me brother is dead, me mother is pregnant with a German kid, and me father is gay.
Reno:........................Rude?
Rude: (hands Reno a tissue from his front pocket.......that is yellow) Ooops, that's the best I can do.
Reno: NOOOOO! Then me nose will smell like pee!
Tseng: I think he has developed a speech disorder.
Elena:......Aren't people that say me all the time gay?
Reno: (with snot dripping down his face) NOT GAY!!!!!! (runs out the door, and runs into a secretary.)
Secretary: SHIT! YOU DIRTY BASTARD!
Reno: (with snot dripping down his nose) Excuse me, do you have a tissue?
Secretary: Gross! (runs away)
Reno: Damn, (starts to run down the hallway to the bathroom, and runs into a tour guide, with millions of people on hand.)
Tour Guide: Dirty son of a bitch!
People: Gross bastard!
Reno: Anyone have a tissue?
Tour Guide: What are you? Gay? Get away from me sick pervert!!!
Reno: I-damn you all! (runs down the hall, and continues to run into EVERY person he encounters, and never gets a tissue)
(In Rufus' Office)
Tissue Box: Lalalalalalalala! Ooooh, look at me! I'm in Rufus' office! Lalalala, I wonder when somebody is going to take a tissue from me...lalala!
Reno: (outside Rufus' offices' door)..............do I want to? But, what about his "offer acceptance"? Screw it, I'm going in!
Rufus: (On the phone with Judy Jetson) Well, I know how you feel about Mako polluting the air up there, but it is making me wealthy, so you will either have to deal, or you will die.
Reno: (looks at the tissue box with pretty frilly flowers all over it and thinking; "should I ask, if I do, will he think I am being nice to him so we can get it on? But if I just take it, will he think I am playing hard to get? (starts to sweat) Oh man, I'll just pretend I am in a bad mood, and just take it and storm back out, yea, good plan!!!!! You are such a genius Reno!" as snot is dripping off his chin)
Rufus: Well, we hate you Jetsons anyway! (hangs up the phone) Damn those Jetsons, such slackers.
Reno: (all of a sudden puts on a "grumpy face", crosses his arms, storms over to the tissue box, rips one out of it, and because the company tissues are so cheap, the tissue he was reaching for ripped, so he takes another, and it rips, and so he takes another, and it rips, Reno gets pissed, scoffs, and takes the whole box off of Rufus' desk, rips out a fart, and storms out)
Rufus: .................................................................?
Reno: (slams the door to Rufus' office behind him) PHEW! (wipes off sweat from his forehead, and FINALLY wipes off the snot from his face) Brrrr, now my face is cold. (tries to warm up his face by rubbing his hands on his cheeks, but he forgets that the tissue is in one hand, and whipes the snot back on his face.) DAMN IT! HALLOWEEN SUCKS!
Rufus: (walks out) It is a shame you feel that way, Halloween is MY favorite time of the year.
Reno: SHIT!!!!!! (wipes off his snot, throws the crumpled up tissue and the box at Rufus, and runs back to the lounge.)
(Halloween, 5:00pm)
(Turks Lounge)
Reno: Hey Rude, you almost ready?
Rude: (spits into a white napkin) Hell yea!
Reno: OK! (spits into a white napkin and makes the napkin look like a ghost by drawing a smiley face with black magic markers on the head part.)
[author's note: Hmm, I wonder what these silly Turks are up to!]