The VSD of Elizabeth Swann
(Prologue)
Stuck on a stupid ship. I hate ships. I can't be pretty if I can't properly
wash my hair. It looks awful. Boy came aboard. V. cute. Had a pirate
medallion. Just a detail. He doesn't have it anymore. I saw a ship with
Black sails. V. scary. I shudder to think what sailing on a ship in that
condition would do to my freckle-covered-but-otherwise-clear complexion. I
hate my freckles. W/o them I could be quite pretty. Not that I'm not
already.
8 years later
Day 1 Freckles are gone! Yay! I look nothing like what I did 8 years ago. Complexion has much improved. Decided to wear the medallion I stole, I mean borrowed, from Will. It Looks exquisite on me. Really compliments my hair. I am loving life as the governors beautiful, flawless daughter. Not really flawless I suppose. I am not supposed to admire Will but that is like impossible. Any female that has laid eyes upon him and not fallen under his spell are insane. Will's eyes are so dreamy. So brown. Like rich, milky chocolate. Hair that I long so dearly to run my fingers through affectionately. Maybe give him a back message, lay my head carefully (so as not to mess up my hair) on his shoulder, have his arm around me... both of us watching the fire crack and smolder, maybe a couple of candles burning... Ah just the thought of it makes my eyes glaze over and me sigh dreamily.
Daddy gave me a beautiful dress to wear to the ceremony. I don't know who he thinks he is kidding. Of course I will wear it, but I see his true motive. He just wants to show off how pretty his daughter is. will not give in to this treatment of this abuse of my beauty!
Well, maybe just this once.
Later Walked out on Will looking quite swish, showing my daddy how to twirl a sword. Was slightly disappointed, Will still insists on calling me Miss Swann. When will he learn that if a girl wants you to use her first name, she is giving a lot of opportunity. If he continues such cluelessness I may have to straight out explain to him what I mean when I say, "Will, please call me Elizabeth. Miss Swann is too formal. I like to think of us on equal terms, like close friends. I honestly would love to hear you say Elizabeth. To hear the way it rolls off your tongue it endless gracefulness" Honestly, men are so stupid.
Even Later Commodore Norrington proposed. I pretended the corset was too tight. I gasped, "I can't breath" and pretended to faint. Yeah right. I just didn't want to break his heart by saying "No way am I ever gonna marry you." I got rescued by a good-looking man though. Turns out he was a pirate. He almost got away, but they found him unconscious in Will's blacksmith shop. The navy didn't give him an ounce of credit either! I mean there he was, looking all heroic in a dusty sort of way, and they totally gave all the credit to the sleepy drunk man just because he's older. He couldn't do anything except eat and sleep and throw bottles around. Well he hit on me a couple times. Understandably, I am very pretty. But Will is still the prettiest. He is most definitely still the prettiest.
Well, maybe not.
Day 2 I got captured by pirates last night! I am now on the ship I saw eight years ago on the crossing form England. (Complexion holding up so far, but who knows how long it will last?) They are so scary, with their teeth and their hair and their disgusting features I don't know how long I will last. Maybe I will just wallow away in despair... hmm... no, Will is going to save me I just know it. I saw him chasing after me when I was being taken away! He will come and rescue me I know it. At least I hope he will. I mean I think he likes me... I hope... he should... I mean how could he resist me? I don't know... Anyway don't like this ship much. Too confined, too rocky. Have had resisted the urge to throw up several times.
Later Must dine with captain in utterly despicable dress, It's magenta. SO not my color. Even later whimper I'm in a ghost story! They pirates are going to kill meeeeeeee. Well not yet, but I know they will. I know they will. Maybe I can shag my way out of this... oh no I don't think so... Barbossa said all the pleasurable company in the world couldn't slake his lust... (I am most certainly pleasurable!) ugh, where is Will when you need him?
Day 3 We are at the Isle de Morte. I hate it. So slippery and rocky. Took us AGES to get here. Lots of treasure though. We have sailed all day so it is like dark already. I haven't looked in a mirror sense the day before yesterday, I shudder to think what the state of my hair is... Am afraid I am developing a tangle.
Later Oh, my goodness! Will rescued me! Barbossa cut my hand then threw almost into the water and I was unconscious but instantly awoke when Will placed a hand on me. We stole everyone's oars so as to make it impossible for them to escape. We rowed back to the Interceptor. Actually Will did the rowing. I just kind of sat there and let him do all the work. I mean I would've helped him only I couldn't risk chipping my manicure. I mean do you realize how long it took the maids in my house to get it perfect? I'll save you the agony of imagining. It took FOREVER. So you see I couldn't risk it. Too much at stake. I like Will, cross that out, I love him! But all the same, I highly value them. So we get back to the Interceptor, and guess who is there? MORE PIRATES! But it was alright because they meant to rescuer me. But apparently Will had gone to drastic measures to come to my rescue. Drastic as in he had to go to Jack Sparrow for help. But when you're dealing with important issues like rescuing me I suppose you have to side with those you'd rather avoid.
Even Later Will called me Elizabeth. Oh it was the sweetest and most romantic thing I have ever heard in my life. It sounded so perfect, so natural, the best ever. Only it didn't end so perfect, he almost kissed me, oh that would've been the best... only... he found out that I'd borrowed his medallion without his permission... he was mad about it for some reason. I don't understand, he said something about how his daddy was a pirate but I wasn't really listening. I was to busy staring into his eyes, wondering whether he'd forgive me if I kissed him. Had several unsane urges to kiss him. Resisted all. I feel like crying. Sobbing. Weeping uncontrollably. Maybe even killing myself. Don't really want to though. Would never be able to kiss him. Or have him confess to me that he loves me. I mean he must. He wouldn't have come rescue me if he didn't right... What do these feelings mean? What do I do?
Day 4 Worst . Day. Ever. Period. The Black Pearl caught up with the Interceptor, and they took all of us into captivity, the monkey got the medallion. And I gotta walk the plank. And I think that Barbossa is planning to kill dear Will! (don't think he'd actually do it. Suspect he is strangely attracted to Will. I will kill him if he tries anything) Jack is on the ship with us... Not so bad... he has quite the facial structure... no, no, no, what am I saying? I love Will. Will. None other. Although Jack does look spectacular with that make up job.
Later Well I walked the plank. Will was gagged... such a lucky piece of cloth. But now I am on an island... with Jack. Quite a stash of rum here. Perhaps I can get him drunk enough to admit what Will has said about me... Had to pretend to be pissed off when he told me that he'd escaped by getting passage off from rum-runners. Honestly I'm just as mad as he is about Commodore shutting down everything fun in life.
Even Later Whoa... so tipsy... Jack was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hitting on me... I said to him "You're hair is so sexy, it looks like you just got done shagging". Put much emphasis on the last word.
Day 5 So pissed at Jack. Had the feeling he was about to shag me senseless but then he passed out. Stupid git. Hate him. Decided to burn all the rum in revenge. Think he's quite pissed at me too. Well that's just perfect. Didn't realize until I said it myself that the signal was over 1,000 feet highm and that the entire Spanish Royal Navy was looking for me, and there wasn't the slightest chance that they wouldn't see it. I am so stupid.
Later Got rescued. By Daddy and Commodore Norrington. Norrington didn't want to go after Will but I persuaded him... he is going to, as a wedding gift... to me. Yuck I do not want to marry him, but what other choice have I got? At least Will is going to be alive... for my wedding... no I do not want him to be there... I want him to be the one I am marrying! Think I will go have a good cry now...
Later Still I am locked in a stupid room. No doubt that it's jack fault. The whole thing is his plan. I must get out of here. I must get Will myself. That's it. I am doing the oldest trick in the book. I am tying a lot of cloth together (don't know where it came from) and I am going to escape on a boat that just happens to be outside my window.
Even Later Rowed to the Black Pearl. Set the crew free. Of course they weren't gracious enough to help me save Will. Had to row to the island by myself.
Bloody Pirates
In other news, the curse is lefted from the pirates, and Will practically told me he has no feelings for me. He had the opportune moment and didn't take it. All the fighting we did together against the pirates was just for show I guess. Am feeling v. depressed. Seriously considering killing myself. Am back on the Dauntless. Way past a pout. V. much past a pout.
Day 6 I am at Jack Sparrow's hanging ceremony. Kind of a shame, really, to lose something so fine. But am feeling too depressed about Will to really care.
2 minutes later Will is here. Don't want him to speak to me after treating me like he did.
1 minute later Am about to faint. Will said he loved me.
30 seconds later Pretended to faint to distract Daddy so Will could help Jack escape. Didn't work very well.
5 minutes later Jack is gone. I am set to be with Will. Now the commodore really knows how I feel. Don't feel as sorry for him as I thought I would. Too busy staring at Will.
4 minutes later In Heaven. Will kissed me! Was a little nervous that he did it right in front of Daddy... but too busy lost in paradise.
1 minute later Saw Jack behind the wheel on his ship. Think he may have been waving goodbye. Or he was flipping me off. Shame that it had to end this way. Beginning to suspect he liked Will. I would've killed him if he'd try anything.
8 years later
Day 1 Freckles are gone! Yay! I look nothing like what I did 8 years ago. Complexion has much improved. Decided to wear the medallion I stole, I mean borrowed, from Will. It Looks exquisite on me. Really compliments my hair. I am loving life as the governors beautiful, flawless daughter. Not really flawless I suppose. I am not supposed to admire Will but that is like impossible. Any female that has laid eyes upon him and not fallen under his spell are insane. Will's eyes are so dreamy. So brown. Like rich, milky chocolate. Hair that I long so dearly to run my fingers through affectionately. Maybe give him a back message, lay my head carefully (so as not to mess up my hair) on his shoulder, have his arm around me... both of us watching the fire crack and smolder, maybe a couple of candles burning... Ah just the thought of it makes my eyes glaze over and me sigh dreamily.
Daddy gave me a beautiful dress to wear to the ceremony. I don't know who he thinks he is kidding. Of course I will wear it, but I see his true motive. He just wants to show off how pretty his daughter is. will not give in to this treatment of this abuse of my beauty!
Well, maybe just this once.
Later Walked out on Will looking quite swish, showing my daddy how to twirl a sword. Was slightly disappointed, Will still insists on calling me Miss Swann. When will he learn that if a girl wants you to use her first name, she is giving a lot of opportunity. If he continues such cluelessness I may have to straight out explain to him what I mean when I say, "Will, please call me Elizabeth. Miss Swann is too formal. I like to think of us on equal terms, like close friends. I honestly would love to hear you say Elizabeth. To hear the way it rolls off your tongue it endless gracefulness" Honestly, men are so stupid.
Even Later Commodore Norrington proposed. I pretended the corset was too tight. I gasped, "I can't breath" and pretended to faint. Yeah right. I just didn't want to break his heart by saying "No way am I ever gonna marry you." I got rescued by a good-looking man though. Turns out he was a pirate. He almost got away, but they found him unconscious in Will's blacksmith shop. The navy didn't give him an ounce of credit either! I mean there he was, looking all heroic in a dusty sort of way, and they totally gave all the credit to the sleepy drunk man just because he's older. He couldn't do anything except eat and sleep and throw bottles around. Well he hit on me a couple times. Understandably, I am very pretty. But Will is still the prettiest. He is most definitely still the prettiest.
Well, maybe not.
Day 2 I got captured by pirates last night! I am now on the ship I saw eight years ago on the crossing form England. (Complexion holding up so far, but who knows how long it will last?) They are so scary, with their teeth and their hair and their disgusting features I don't know how long I will last. Maybe I will just wallow away in despair... hmm... no, Will is going to save me I just know it. I saw him chasing after me when I was being taken away! He will come and rescue me I know it. At least I hope he will. I mean I think he likes me... I hope... he should... I mean how could he resist me? I don't know... Anyway don't like this ship much. Too confined, too rocky. Have had resisted the urge to throw up several times.
Later Must dine with captain in utterly despicable dress, It's magenta. SO not my color. Even later whimper I'm in a ghost story! They pirates are going to kill meeeeeeee. Well not yet, but I know they will. I know they will. Maybe I can shag my way out of this... oh no I don't think so... Barbossa said all the pleasurable company in the world couldn't slake his lust... (I am most certainly pleasurable!) ugh, where is Will when you need him?
Day 3 We are at the Isle de Morte. I hate it. So slippery and rocky. Took us AGES to get here. Lots of treasure though. We have sailed all day so it is like dark already. I haven't looked in a mirror sense the day before yesterday, I shudder to think what the state of my hair is... Am afraid I am developing a tangle.
Later Oh, my goodness! Will rescued me! Barbossa cut my hand then threw almost into the water and I was unconscious but instantly awoke when Will placed a hand on me. We stole everyone's oars so as to make it impossible for them to escape. We rowed back to the Interceptor. Actually Will did the rowing. I just kind of sat there and let him do all the work. I mean I would've helped him only I couldn't risk chipping my manicure. I mean do you realize how long it took the maids in my house to get it perfect? I'll save you the agony of imagining. It took FOREVER. So you see I couldn't risk it. Too much at stake. I like Will, cross that out, I love him! But all the same, I highly value them. So we get back to the Interceptor, and guess who is there? MORE PIRATES! But it was alright because they meant to rescuer me. But apparently Will had gone to drastic measures to come to my rescue. Drastic as in he had to go to Jack Sparrow for help. But when you're dealing with important issues like rescuing me I suppose you have to side with those you'd rather avoid.
Even Later Will called me Elizabeth. Oh it was the sweetest and most romantic thing I have ever heard in my life. It sounded so perfect, so natural, the best ever. Only it didn't end so perfect, he almost kissed me, oh that would've been the best... only... he found out that I'd borrowed his medallion without his permission... he was mad about it for some reason. I don't understand, he said something about how his daddy was a pirate but I wasn't really listening. I was to busy staring into his eyes, wondering whether he'd forgive me if I kissed him. Had several unsane urges to kiss him. Resisted all. I feel like crying. Sobbing. Weeping uncontrollably. Maybe even killing myself. Don't really want to though. Would never be able to kiss him. Or have him confess to me that he loves me. I mean he must. He wouldn't have come rescue me if he didn't right... What do these feelings mean? What do I do?
Day 4 Worst . Day. Ever. Period. The Black Pearl caught up with the Interceptor, and they took all of us into captivity, the monkey got the medallion. And I gotta walk the plank. And I think that Barbossa is planning to kill dear Will! (don't think he'd actually do it. Suspect he is strangely attracted to Will. I will kill him if he tries anything) Jack is on the ship with us... Not so bad... he has quite the facial structure... no, no, no, what am I saying? I love Will. Will. None other. Although Jack does look spectacular with that make up job.
Later Well I walked the plank. Will was gagged... such a lucky piece of cloth. But now I am on an island... with Jack. Quite a stash of rum here. Perhaps I can get him drunk enough to admit what Will has said about me... Had to pretend to be pissed off when he told me that he'd escaped by getting passage off from rum-runners. Honestly I'm just as mad as he is about Commodore shutting down everything fun in life.
Even Later Whoa... so tipsy... Jack was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hitting on me... I said to him "You're hair is so sexy, it looks like you just got done shagging". Put much emphasis on the last word.
Day 5 So pissed at Jack. Had the feeling he was about to shag me senseless but then he passed out. Stupid git. Hate him. Decided to burn all the rum in revenge. Think he's quite pissed at me too. Well that's just perfect. Didn't realize until I said it myself that the signal was over 1,000 feet highm and that the entire Spanish Royal Navy was looking for me, and there wasn't the slightest chance that they wouldn't see it. I am so stupid.
Later Got rescued. By Daddy and Commodore Norrington. Norrington didn't want to go after Will but I persuaded him... he is going to, as a wedding gift... to me. Yuck I do not want to marry him, but what other choice have I got? At least Will is going to be alive... for my wedding... no I do not want him to be there... I want him to be the one I am marrying! Think I will go have a good cry now...
Later Still I am locked in a stupid room. No doubt that it's jack fault. The whole thing is his plan. I must get out of here. I must get Will myself. That's it. I am doing the oldest trick in the book. I am tying a lot of cloth together (don't know where it came from) and I am going to escape on a boat that just happens to be outside my window.
Even Later Rowed to the Black Pearl. Set the crew free. Of course they weren't gracious enough to help me save Will. Had to row to the island by myself.
Bloody Pirates
In other news, the curse is lefted from the pirates, and Will practically told me he has no feelings for me. He had the opportune moment and didn't take it. All the fighting we did together against the pirates was just for show I guess. Am feeling v. depressed. Seriously considering killing myself. Am back on the Dauntless. Way past a pout. V. much past a pout.
Day 6 I am at Jack Sparrow's hanging ceremony. Kind of a shame, really, to lose something so fine. But am feeling too depressed about Will to really care.
2 minutes later Will is here. Don't want him to speak to me after treating me like he did.
1 minute later Am about to faint. Will said he loved me.
30 seconds later Pretended to faint to distract Daddy so Will could help Jack escape. Didn't work very well.
5 minutes later Jack is gone. I am set to be with Will. Now the commodore really knows how I feel. Don't feel as sorry for him as I thought I would. Too busy staring at Will.
4 minutes later In Heaven. Will kissed me! Was a little nervous that he did it right in front of Daddy... but too busy lost in paradise.
1 minute later Saw Jack behind the wheel on his ship. Think he may have been waving goodbye. Or he was flipping me off. Shame that it had to end this way. Beginning to suspect he liked Will. I would've killed him if he'd try anything.