[author's note: again, I do not own Final Fantasy vii or any of the characters. Just good ideas. Haha, read... READ!!!]
-- Meanwhile --
Rude: Gee, there sure are a lot of stalls in here.
Sephy: Probably just in case the food sucks.
Tseng: Shhh! Someone's coming. Rude, get in a stall, Seph, put the tape in the camera.
Rude: Okay! (Takes out his paper and gets in a stall)
Sephy: Yup. (Puts a tape titled "Rude, Tseng, and Seph, all 'working' together. Heh" and gets into a different stall)
Tseng: (Looks out the door) It's Palmer!!!! (Gets into another stall)
Rude: Ready?
Tseng & Sephy: YUP!!
(Palmer waddles into the bathroom)
Palmer: I knew I shouldn't have trusted Hojo's cooking before a Ball.
Rude: (Covers his mouth) gulp!
Palmer: OH!! There's others in here as well. I love having potty neighbors. (Goes into a stall)
Tseng: (Grunts) Damn this water's cold.
Rude: Kee, hee, hee.... Oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that.
Sephy: How interesting, more floaters than sinkers.
Palmer: Oops... missed.
Tseng: Huh? (Looks to his right, where a massive watery pile of squirty poop is slowly making it's way towards his shoe)
Sephy: (Sticks his head under Tseng stall) Ewww… Boy that sure looks like a maggot.
Tseng: EGADS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-- Meanwhile --
Rufus: Well, I never thought they would actually show up.
Cid: Cad fur the give?
Rufus: No, not today.
Cloud: I've gotta' shit... bye!!
Rufus: Wait! I'll escort you.... I feel the same too. (They both go off to the bathroom)
Tifa: What a drag
Vincent: Yup, I know
Aeris: Hi everyone!!
Vincent: Aeris?
Tifa: Wha'?
Aeris: You got an invitation too? Yeah, I'm alive. Vincent, wanna dance?
Vincent: YEAH!!
Tifa: Then who will I dance with?
Cid: I'll dance with you!!!
Tifa: Errrr... well, I actually have to go.... to the bathroom.
Cid: How about when you come back?
Tifa: If I come back.
Cid: OKAY!!
Tifa: Aside; Damn.
-- Meanwhile --
Palmer: Tra, la, la!! (Leaves)
Tseng: (Drops a marble) Oh shit!! I dropped my glass eye!!
Sephy: Hows your shoe doing Tseng? (Peeks under stall again)
Tseng: Wha? (Looks down at his shoe) OH SHIT!!
Sephy: Hmm.. reminds me of mother.
Tseng & Rude: (Cock heads)
Rude: I'll go and see if anyone's coming... (Cloud and Rufus walk in before Rude can get out)
Rufus: I'll have to give you a tour of the place sometime.
Cloud: Yeah... but that's a different story plot.
Rufus: I know, I am just leading up to it...
Cloud: Heh... I've gotta poo.... may I get on with it now?
Rufus: Sure.... wait, (Looking at the urinals on the wall) Why are there six sinks???
Sephy: Kee, hee, hee.
Tseng: Humus.... reminds me of humus.
Rude: Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small.... now what am I gonna' do?
Sephy: Come on Mr. Happy!! Don't fall asleep on me!
Cloud: Rufus, are you okay?
Rufus: (Grunting the words out) See.... I... can... still... talk!!
Cloud: (Gets out and washes his hands) Phew.... that took a lot out of me.
Rufus: I'm still not done! Wait for me! I always have bad experiences while I'm in the bathroom alone!
Cloud: Like what?
Rufus: I'd rather not talk about it now.
Cloud: Oh, well I guess I can't help you out... BYE!! (Cloud leaves the bathroom to find Tifa standing by the bathroom door waiting for him) You didn't have to wait for me.
Tifa: You took a long time (Hides her laughing)
Cloud: It.... was Rufus, he wanted me to wait for him.
Tifa: Sure.... do you wanna' dance?
Cloud: Shrugs Okay. (They walk by Reno and Elena dancing)
Elena: We have to stop now.
Reno: Why? It's Tseng isn't it? I knew it all along
Elena: I haveta' pee.
Reno: Oh... oops.
Elena: (Walks to the door entitled "Boys & Girls Bathroom") Wha? Boys AND girls? Rufus is so cheap.(Walks in)
Sephy: Now how did that get there?
Elena: Aside: Gross Ahem....
Rufus: Good bye. (Leaves)
Tseng: I heard clicky shoes... I think it's feminine.
Rude: (In the stall next to Elena) oh...? (Lowers a small mirror down near Elena's stall) PEEK-A-BOO!!
Elena: EGADS!! RUDE?!?!?!? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!?!?!
Tseng: Elena?
Elena: Tseng? Who else is in here?
Sephy: (Whistles)
Elena: SEPHIROTH?!?!?
Sephy: NO!!
Elena: Damn all of you.... I'm leaving. (Storms out of the bathroom- after washing her hands of course)
-- Meanwhile --
Reporter: Rufus, finally, I quit.
Rufus: Wha?
Reporter: Oh, by the way, I think there was something in the food.... I have to shit.
Rufus: FINE!! LEAVE!! I NEVER GAVE A DAMN ABOUT YOU ANY WAY!!.....Is that camera still on?
Reporter: Heh. (Smiles)
-- Meanwhile --
Tseng: Rude, go see if anyone's coming.
Sephy: I don't want to do this any more.... we've run out of things to say, and it smells like Cloud's shit in here.
Rude: DUCK AND COVER!! A REPORTER!!
Tseng: Fun... heh.
Reporter: Oh shit.... (Walks into a stall)
Sephy: (Holds his hand out to the reporter in the stall next to him) May I barrow a highlighter?
Reporter: it.... rea...lly... smells... bad... I... think.... I... have... to- (Pukes on Sephy's hand)
Sephy: EEWE!! (Screams like a girl, runs out of the stall, washes his hands, and leaves)
Tseng: Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that....
Reporter: GROSS!! YOU GUYS ARE SICK!! (Washes hands, and notices the camera in the high corner of a wall. Leaps up and steals the tape Heh... juicy.)
Rude: Let's go Tseng; it's no fun without Seph around.
Tseng: Yeah, lets go.
(The two walk out and Tseng tracks shit everywhere from his shoe)
Tseng: (Walks by Elena) Hi Elena... (Blows her a kiss) heh.
Elena: (Noticing his shoe has poop on it) Uh.... ehhhhhh.... (Reno and her Tango off away from Tseng)
Rude: (At the snackie table) Heh, Tseng, these cups say "Balls" on them....
Tseng: Heh....
(Rufus walks up to get some punch with Reno)
Reno: BALLS!!!! HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!!! Boy, you sure do have some guts Rufus!
Rufus: Wha?
Reno: The cups say "Balls" on them!
Rufus: I meant like the kind of party
Reno: There's Balls parties?
Rufus: (Takes a dictionary out of his pocket) Ahem...."to dance, jump about, an enjoyable time or experience."
Reno: Heh......balls
Rufus: (Looks at his watch) Oh! It's time.
Rude: Time for what?
Rufus: (With a microphone) Ahem, everyone! Please get into two perpendicular lines, girls on one side, and boys on the other.
Reno: What does "perpendicular" mean?
Rufus: It's hard to explain...here, (takes out his dictionary again) Ahem... "upright; vertical; straight up and down"
Reno: Oh, two lines.
Rufus: Yes. Whoever is across from you is your partner for the contest for king and queen.
Hojo: Which side should I be on?
Rufus: I don't care!!!
Hojo: Well then I'll just stay right here then. (On the ladies side)
Vincent: EGADS!!!!! I'm across from Hojo!!!!!
Yuffie: Sorry I'm late.
Barret: (In the pink frilly tux) I'm feeling much better now. Hee hee. (Disco dances) I'm a dancing queeeeenn....
Rufus: OK!!! Now sashea down the isle with your partner!!!
Cid: Hey Tifa!!! Me and you are partners!!!
Tifa: ...Yeah.....yay.....God help me.....please?
Reno: Look Elena me and you are partners!!!
Elena: No, me and Sephiroth are partners.
Reno: Oh. Hey Rufus! Who are you partners with?
Rufus: Scarlet.
Reno: Heh, I'm partners with Aeris. (Blows Aeris a kiss)
Rufus: I won't even comment.
Aeris: Neither will I. (Whimpers at Cloud)
-- 20 minutes later. --
Rufus: And now....for the announcement for king and queen...I have the envelope in my hand, so will everyone do me a favor right now and get with your partner so you don't have to search for them if you turn out it be king and queen.
(Everyone starts shuffling around)
-- 20 MORE minutes later --
Rufus: Okay...is everyone with their partner?
Vincent: NO!!
Rufus: Well, you don't have to Vinny...I'm positive you won't be king.....nothin' personal.
Vincent: No problem.
Rufus: And now......the king and queen are.......wha?
Everyone: WHO?!?!
Rufus: Sephiroth and Elena?
Everyone: WHO?!?!
(Sephy and Elena receive their crown)
[author's note: Yay! Sephy and Elena!!]