OOC: Alright I'm sorry about the Riku/Kairi thing here! You all probably think it's over for those two but that's were your wrong. After the next couple chapters there will be a major event that happens that draws Riku and Kairi closer. I'm not going to tell you who she will end up with. You may be surprised in the end because this story has many twists as you can already tell. Please keep reviewing and tell me how you like this chapter. It's just basically what Riku's feeling right now and this chapter contains no Sora/Kairi moments either. It's just Riku.



~*~My Battered Heart~*~



It was almost night-time and soon everyone would be turning in. The palace lights were now dimmed and low-toned whispers could be heard throughout the castle. Everyone was inside except for a few guards and Riku... Riku had climbed on the castle roof now and he laid there gazing up at the sky and replaying all the things that had happened that previous afternoon within his mind. Why had caused him to do that? He had almost done something beyond belief... He loved Kairi with all his heart just by knowing her for only a few short days. Would what had happened slim their chances of being together. Would Kairi consider him as a bad apple now? No better than the past suitors. Maybe he was a bad apple after all. Maybe he was lusting after something he was not even worthy of holding or cherishing.



Suddenly the wind blew silver locks of hair into his face. He quickly brushed them away gazing up at the now star filled sky. It was a cloudless night and the moon was full and bright as it showered its beauty upon the earth. He placed his hands behind his head and closed his eyes as he remembered back to his past...



:::Flash Back:::



"Mommy daddy were are you!?" asked a small silver-haired boy of six as he reached through the smoke looking for the faces of his parents.



He coughed and was almost was hit by the fall of a piece of burning wood from the ceiling.



He jumped back and coughed as his pleading eyes searched through the smoke.



Suddenly he felt his body collapse onto the floor from to much smoke inhalation.



His vision became blurry as he seen the orange flames dancing around him. Suddenly he heard a voice.



"I found him get him out!" yelled a voice of a villager. Soon he felt himself being gently lifted and brought out of the house into the cool crisp night air.



"Were are my parents!?" he later questioned after he had woken up.



A woman finally told him.



"There gone they died in the fire but you made it."she replied.



The boy felt himself fall to the floor and he sobbed hard his little body trembling as the words cut through him like a knife.



:::End of Flashback:::



Riku jolted up sweating. The word "Death" rung in his mind. That had been what he had remembered. His house had caught fire and he was the only one who had survived. His parents had died in their sleep and he had woken up by the smell of smoke and wandered through the house trying to warn his parents but he had failed to save them and forever more it was his own fault.



He placed his head in his hands. Why had life been so cruel to him? Why had he had to grow up in that orphanage for seven years lonely and the only thing he had longed for his whole life was to be loved by someone anyone for that matter... He sighed and gazed up at the stars tracing his eyes across the raven sky and counting random stars. He then laid back down placing his hands behind his head gazing up at them all. Was his parents up there somewhere resenting him for what he had done? He didn't know but this feeling had haunted him ever since that tragic day... The only thing that ever taken his mind off his pain was that of fighting... He had slain so many beasts that it was just like daily breathing. When he killed something evil and a threat to mankind it released some of his pain... Now he had found Kairi. She took his mind off his pain completely and gave him something greater... Had he ruined that chance? Could she forgive him and love him to? Or was it to late for him? Now he had finally found a permanent cure for all his pain and suffering and it was that of loving Kairi. Killing and protecting didn't cure pain... It was a temporary source of peace. If he could only have Kairi his heart could be healed of his pain and prosperity... Could he want and crave something so sweet and forbidden to him that he could kill for it? He had never taken a human life before. It was way out of his league. He only wanted to protect not harm... Would he be able to keep that oath forever or would it take getting rid of Sora to fulfill his heavenly desires? He quickly pushed this thought from his head and sighed. His mind was lusting again. He didn't want to lust after Kairi but mind wouldn't let him stop. His heart had been battered and shook up so badly through the years he didn't think all the pain could ever be drained from it and that it could be restored to its original form. He sighed and closed his eyes welcoming the burden of restless sleep...





~*~

Yeah I know it's short and not written very well. Please review and don't be afraid to flame either!