Otherworld
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Genre: Drama/Romance
Classification: Epic
Rating: R
Pairings: Zell x Quistis, Zell x Squall
Warnings: AU, Alcohol Use, Drug Use, Language, Lemon
Disclaimer: The Final Fantasy VIII franchise is owned by Squaresoft
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AU. Zell is the lead singer for a rock band, but what happens when he becomes torn between the booze, the drugs, his bassist, and his drummer? [Zell x Quistis, Zell x Squall]
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Author's Notes: First off, I'd like to thank everyone for the wonderfully kind reviews. Your words of support really mean allot to me. But little did I know that when I was writing Chapter Eight, the worst was yet to come. My ex girlfriend really made my life miserable Sunday. In fact, it was the worst day of my life. It was so fucking dramatic. And she ended up getting drunk. But, fuck it. I'm over her bitch ass. I think I'm doing a pretty good job updating, right? Actually, this story would've been updated yesterday but I accidentally deleted it. But it wasn't a big deal, because I already knew everything that I had typed. Besides, it doesn't hurt to revise a little. Oh, and about Zell and Quistis' song from Chapter Eight? That song doesn't belong to me. That song is Nobody Noticed It by Lisa Marie Presley. I just thought I'd mention it in here since I forgot to mention it in Chapter Eight. And I don't want anyone on my ass for trying to steal it or something. Anyway, enough with my relentless bullshit. Here's Chapter Nine. I hope you'll enjoy it.
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Ch. 09
Drive All Night
[Zell's P.O.V.]
"Maybe if I liked being alone I could give you your life back and let you go. Maybe if I got it together again I wouldn't be belligerent and such a princess. Maybe the reason I got needy is because I never had real devotion. Maybe I criticized your loyalty because it wasn't given to me. Do you know who I am? It's me in here with the doctor and the crowd around me. They are my chosen family. Tell me I'm important. But what about them standing there? They don't get it. They're smiling at me, I guess they're used to this. Maybe I'll stop wondering when I'm gonna die. Maybe then I'll stop holding so hard to my life. Maybe next time I see my reflection my mind won't be with me. Maybe my brutal honesty is only because I can get away with it. Maybe I'll squash you relentlessly because you tried to crush me. Do you know who I am? It's me in here with the doctor and the crowd around me. They are my chosen family. I guess you're not important. But what about you standing there? You can't get in. You're smiling at me, I guess you're used to this. Please get out of my way, I don't like fucking waiting. You need to bring me my food first, I'm not the one you wanna starve. And maybe you think you're my friend. And maybe one day you'll give a shit about what I am. Do you know who I am? It's me in here with the doctor and the crowd around me. They are my chosen family. Tell me I'm important. But what about you standing there? You can't get in. You're smiling at me, I guess you're used to this."
I woke up, perfectly unaware of where I was, and with a slight discomfort in my stomach. Instinctively clutching my abdomen, I sat up a little, looking at the white walls around me. It looked as if they were plotting to crash in on me sometime in the near future. I let out a soft sigh, wondering why this place looked familiar. Although not my room, I knew I had definitely been here before. And something in my head was telling me it wasn't a good place to be.
"You're finally up," a familiar voice said.
I looked up, smiling weakly at Squall.
"Yeah," I murmured. "I guess so. What is this place?"
"The hospital."
"Huh? What am I doing here?"
"…Something happened last night."
"What happened last night?"
"…You tried to kill yourself," he said, barely above a whisper.
"What? Why would I try to do something like that?"
"I don't know. But everything's better now. You don't have anything to worry about."
"Where's Quistis?"
"She's in the lobby. I think she called your mother to tell her."
"What?!" I yelled. "Why the fuck did she go and do that?! That little fucking bitch! Who gave her that fucking right?!"
"I'm sorry," Squall murmured. "She didn't know that you didn't want your mother to know."
"The stupid fucking bitch! I should totally fucking punch her right in the mouth!"
"Calm down. She didn't know. Really."
"Whatever," I spat. "I need a few moments to myself."
"…Are you sure you'll be okay?" he inquired.
"Yeah."
"…Well, alright. I think I'll go downstairs and get a coffee. Your breakfast from earlier is on the nightstand if you get hungry. If you need anything, just call for a nurse. Take it easy, okay?"
I just nodded an answer, watching as Squall left the room, shutting the door behind me. And then something in me snapped. Something buried deep inside of me. Something that I preferred in there. Something that wasn't supposed to be outside.
Blinking at the angry tears in my eyes, I yanked the IV out of my hand, barely noticing the pain as the needle was forced out of my skin. I threw it to the floor, climbing out of bed, almost instantly slamming my foot into the confusing heap of medical equipment. If I hadn't been so fucking pissed off, I knew it would've hurt like hell. But I didn't care. Even if I felt that pain it wouldn't compare to the pain I felt inside.
I grabbed the EKG machine, glared at that annoying green line, and threw it to the floor. It landed with a delightful crash. Then I kicked it. And I kicked it again. And again. And I could see drops of blood. I knew that I was banging my foot up. But I didn't give a shit.
I turned around, slamming my other foot hard into the bed frame. I felt a sudden jolt shoot up my leg, but I was too enraged to pay attention to it. I grabbed the pillow with both of my hands, breathing heavily, still blinking at angry tears. I ripped the pillow in two, laughing just a little. The white feathers trailed to the floor, landing next to the mess of medical equipment.
I picked up the broken EKG machine and slammed it into the floor, rendering it completely useless. And then I punched the wall. Hard. I could actually see the wall crack around my knuckles. Little red streams of blood came trickling down my knuckles. But I didn't feel it. All I could feel was the overpowering hurt within me.
And I collapsed. I sat there, on the floor, with my back against the wall. I had my head in my hands, with a shallow smile on my face, and a thousand thoughts in my head.
Then the door opened and I heard a little shriek of surprise.
"Zell!" a familiar voice cried. "You're hurt! What happened?!"
It was Quistis.
"It's none of your business," I spat.
"Huh? What do you mean?"
"I mean it's none of your fucking business."
"Zell, don't say things like that."
"I can say whatever the fuck I want," I cursed. "After all, you can go and call my fucking mother whenever the hell you feel like it."
"What?" she inquired. "Is that what this is all about?"
"Just leave me the fuck alone."
"Zell, I'm sorry."
"Leave. Me. The. Fuck. Alone."
"…Alright," she said softly. "But I really am sorry."
And with that she left, not bothering to shut the door behind her. And I just sat there, with my head in my hands, trying to convince myself that everything would get better.
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[Zell's P.O.V.]
And the nurses came. And they screamed at what they saw. And they fixed me up. And the doctors came. And they bitched at me. And they threatened to send me somewhere else. But after they found out I had money it was an entirely different story. It's funny, how shallow the world has become.
Lunch came. But I wasn't hungry. I only ate a few bites so Squall would be happy. Still, something didn't feel right. And I lied there, only half aware of what was going on in my room. I felt like shit. I guess it was a number of things. The fear that all the tabloids would be talking shit. The stress from everything that had been happening. The realization that Quistis and I would probably never talk again.
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[Quistis' P.O.V.]
"Out on the road between nowhere and hell, I caught a glimpse of my reflection in you. But they can't believe I still want you around. Hung on a line between addiction and this. Oh, I can't believe you said I hurt you again. But I can't afford to let you get away. And I cannot take the darkness when you stay. You're all I see, yeah. Oh, and it's definitely my fault. You're all I see, yeah. Oh, but don't come near me at all. How many roads between your world and mine? How many broken doors and how many fights? I change my furniture to make it go away. But I'm still overwhelmed at how much space you take. You're all I see, darling. Oh, and it's definitely my fault. You're all I see, yeah. Oh, but don't come near me at all. And I can't have you right now. And I can't get it right now. You're all I see, darling. Oh, and it's definitely my fault, yeah. You're all I see, yeah. Oh, but don't come near me at all. This is, this is definitely my fault. Hung on a line between addiction and this. I can't believe that I have hurt you again."
"Quistis!" Xu cried, giving me a surprised astonishment as I shut the living room door behind me. "What are you doing here? I thought you were going to stay at the hospital?"
"I was going to," I said, not wanting to tell her the actual truth. "But I came back. I have a slight stomachache. I suppose I caught something at the hospital."
"I'm sorry. That's too bad. You should get some rest."
"Yes," I agreed. "I think I'll go lie down."
"Good."
And with that, I smiled slightly at my brunette friend, walked into my room, and shut the door behind me.
"Hyne," I whispered. "I really messed up this time, didn't I?"
And I knew I did. There was no going back now. It was all too messy. And there was nothing I could do. I'd already apologized for calling Zell's mother. That's all I could possibly do. And that didn't mean anything to him. He really hated me now.
I let out a soft sight, walking over to my bed. I collapsed onto the soft mattress, hugging a pillow to my chest. I looked outside as the rain poured down. And I felt like the rain. It was kind of depressing. There were too many emotions and not enough me. And I cried into my pillow, feeling so incredibly stupid.
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[Squall's P.O.V.]
"I feel so nice just when you're here. The reason why is not so clear. And I knew the first time when you told me I'd fall in love just as you'd hold me. And now I wanna stay at your side tonight. I wanna watch you as the sun lights up your eyes. I wanna know when you wake first thing you see is me. 'Cause you're all the things I prayed that I'd meet. Ride, ride this wave of mine. There're brighter things out on the other side. Ride, ride this wave of mine. I know that things are gonna be alright. Moments, they come and then they go. You'll feel so high and then before you know. I could've sworn our future was set in stone, but I guess some things are just as well for God to know. So now I concentrate on turning wrong to right. I'm gonna let go of things I held inside so tight. I'm gonna live and let forgive things said in spite. So clear out the smoke and usher in the light. Ride, ride this wave of mine. There're brighter things out on the other side. Ride, ride this wave of mine. I know that things are gonna be alright."
"Hey," I said, shutting the door behind me after grabbing a quick bite to eat. "You're looking better. Did you enjoy your dinner?"
Zell flashed me a small grin, shrugging slightly.
"It was decent, I guess."
"That's good."
I walked over to him, sitting on the side of his bed. He smiled at me, his beautiful blue eyes sparkling ever so slightly. And I returned the smile, rubbing his forearm gently.
"I'm glad you're okay," I said.
"Thanks. But why do you care so much about me?"
"What?"
"Why do you care so much about me?"
"Because," I murmured.
"Because why?" he inquired, intent on hearing the full answer.
"Just because."
"That's bullshit."
"I'm not sure if you really want to know."
"Go for it."
"…Because I love you," I admitted, lying down, resting my head against his chest.
"What?" he asked, slowly wrapping his strong arms around me.
"I'm sorry," I apologized, blushing furiously.
"No," he said, tightening his grip around me. "It's cool. But, uh, can you do me a favor?"
"What's that?"
"Get me out of this place."
"What?" I inquired. "What do you mean?"
"Get me out of here. The hospital. I don't wanna be here anymore."
"But where do you wanna go? Do you wanna go back home?"
"No," he said. "Not just yet, anyway. Just drive me somewhere."
"I wouldn't know where to drive," I admitted.
"Anywhere."
"…I don't know.
"Please?"
"…Okay," I said. I'll do it."
Anything for you, Zell.
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[Squall's P.O.V.]
It had taken a little effort, but Zell and I got away from the hospital without too much trouble. And we drove while the rain poured down, talking about the little things. It was simple. It was nice. Until we stopped on a back road outside of town. We sat there for a little while, in silence, listening to the wonderful pit, pat, pit, pat of the rain falling outside.
"…Can I ask you something?" I asked him, my voice quavering just a bit.
"Sure," he said.
"…What happened to your mother?"
"…I don't want to talk about it."
"Please?"
"No."
"Zell," I said. "It's okay. I'm here for you. I'm your friend. You can trust me. Besides, I'm sure it'll make you feel at least a little better if you talk about it."
"It's cool."
"No, it's not. You need to get it off your chest. Please."
"…She did stuff."
"What kind of stuff?" I inquired, albeit slowly.
"She beat me," he murmured. "And she did other stuff, too. She molested me. Can you believe that? My own fucking mother."
"…I'm sorry. I had no idea."
"Don't worry about it."
"But I am worried about it," I said. "I wish there was something I can do."
"There is."
"What is it?"
"Keep loving me."
"…Always, Zell," I said. "Always."
I leaned over a little, rubbing the side of his handsome face. He looked down at me. And I looked up at him. I was practically sitting on his lap, still rubbing the side of his face. And then I wrapped my arms around his broad shoulders, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. He wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me close. And then he kissed me. And I kissed him back. Sweet, passionate, hungry kisses. All kinds of wonderful kisses. And the two of us sat there in the front seat, making out as the rain continued to pour down outside.
"Not saying not charmed at all. Not saying that you weren't worth the fall. But I was alone when I knew it was real. Down the canyon when I knew I had come to the line, through the dawn, to the light. To the time when you said you could drive all night. Drive all night. So I let crazy take a spin. And I let crazy settle in. I kicked off my shoes. Shut reason out. He said, 'First, let's just unzip your religion down.' Found that I, I craved it all. Saw me melt into your native shelter where you carve my name. Paper tigers scare me and came alive, through the dawn, to the light. To the time when you said you could drive all night. Drive all night. So I let crazy take a spin. And I let crazy settle in. I kicked off my shoes. Shut reason out. He said, 'First, let's just unzip your religion down.' So I let crazy pull me in. And I let crazy take his spin. I kicked off my shoes. Shut reason out. He said, 'First, let's just unzip your religion down. Heard that you were once temptation's girl.' And as soon as you have rearranged the mess in your head he will show up looking sane. Perfectly sane, if I know crazy."
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Author's Notes: Did that suck? I hope it was okay. I worked pretty damn hard on it. I hope it's getting a little more romantic. Yes, I know I'm a bit of a pervert myself when it comes to writing, but the end of this chapter was kind of sweet. And I know many of you want more sex, right? Well, there might be some sex in Chapter Ten. I'll just have to see what kind of reviews I get. Yes, I'm an awful bastard. And as for the songs I used in this chapter, I'll give credit where it is due. Important is by Lisa Marie Presley. The Road Between is by Lisa Marie Presley. Tsunami is by Res. Crazy is by Tori Amos. Anyway, that's that. If you read Chapter Nine and enjoyed it, please leave a review.